The Big Book and the Solution – Big Book – Tim – Workshop – Neptune, NJ – Part 1 of 18 – Local AA Speakers

Good afternoon everybody. Celebrating for the March 5th homework. We've had to come out and pull it for three years. I'm Jaron McCulloch, and this one is ten years old. So tradition states that we are fully self-supporting, but we've had the capacity to cover our expenses. Are there any related announcements? You can download our recent speakers and view the upcoming schedule on our website, rbbw.org and I'll take it back to you. Thank you very much, Mike. At this time, I'd like to introduce Big Book Tim from Neptune, New Jersey that's going to be here for the next 16 weeks. Welcome. Thank you. Thank you, Mike and Alex. We've got a moment for you soon, right? Good evening, everyone. I'm a recovered alcoholic called Big Book Jim. And, you know, the GPS said an hour and a half. I thought two hours ago was typical, right? So where to begin? Where do we begin? You know, I drank too much. You know? That's why I'm in AA. And I like to start with some vitals so that way you can start your judgment and understand where I'm at, too. This is what we do, man. Congratulations to Celebrants. You know. To me, that's a testament that AA just works. so my sobriety date is May 2nd 1992 I have not found it necessary to pick up a drink or a mood or mind altering substance thing and for that I'm extremely grateful and my home group is the turning point of Atlantic Highlands New Jersey we meet on Tuesday nights at 8 o'clock we just changed our format we were a closed meeting but we'd like to have the solution open to everyone so we just change it so bring the kids and the spouses too And then we also have a Friday night meeting, a closed big book meeting that we go. We tell you what every comma and every semicolon means in the book. So we do that. It's a wonderful ego meeting. And my sponsor's name is Bobby P. He is a sponsor. His sponsor is John M. He was a former Area 44 delegate. so I have good questions when I want to get into the politics of AA I'm sure there's people in this room that know about that stuff at least I hope anyway because it's part of our legacy so I'm grateful that I've been asked to come up here thank you Jared I appreciate that you know it's always a privilege and a pleasure to be asked to be involved with my own recovery you know and I to give you the warnings okay I say a lot of controversial things It's just the nature of who I am, I guess I try to match it with what's in this book Because for some reason people think that What's in the book is controversial I don't know why But it's the reason I got sober To be honest with you A little bit of background When I said I quit drinking May 2nd, 1992 I went to a meeting that night An argument meeting I don' t know if you have them up here They're called speaker discussion meetings where the speaker says what they want and then everybody argues about right or wrong, no, no so that's what I went to my first meeting and at the end of the meeting we all got up and held hands and I said to our father I was like oh, that's not going to work for me I went through 14 years of Catholic school and my freshman year of college was in a Catholic school because I liked to open stuff for me not really I just thought some other people didn't care so I decided you know I can do this, I just won't drink today that's what I did I just want to drink today I could have a drink tomorrow I just don't drink so that's what I did welcome back eight days is awesome and I just remember being so angry when I got here you know and so for the first many days you know I walked around my face crunched and I talked through my teeth you know and people said how are you doing Tim I said I'm fine they say you still not drinking I said yeah and uh and they say how many days is it and I tell them ten fourteen you know and then uh and then I got to ninety right and something magical was supposed to happen in ninety supposedly um and I'm sitting across the table from an earth person I'm sure you know who they are but people who can drink and not be in trouble. You know, those are her feelings. And I said to the guy, I said, you know, this is nice. And he said, what are you talking about? I said I haven't had a drink in 90 days and nothing has got that. Right? He says, well, now this is like the dumbest man I've ever known. No, really. He was the guy that drove. You know what I mean? When you went out and you did your, as they call them, SDS, stupid drunk stuff. Right? He wasthe guy who drove all the time. and at the end of every night he would say, you know, I'm never going out with you guys again. You know, we just laughed because we knew he was driving the next time, you know. That's who this guy was, right? So he says to me, well, you just thought you were going to quit drinking and your life was going to clear up. He says, it doesn't work that way. Why don't you go give that AA thing a try? Who are you? You know what you did? You know like, so to me that was like, that was the voice of God speaking through this person. Now, when I quit drinking on May 2nd, 1992, it was a Saturday afternoon. It was about 4 o'clock when I came to. And, you know, I'm sitting there with my glasses on, my sunglasses and smoking a cigarette. I had that feeling that I had a thousand times before. In other words, I am going to die came out of my mouth. I kind of like looked around like, who cares? When? No, you're going to dump. I'm going to die? What am I going to do? You promise? And that's what I was doing out loud. And then I realized I was not doing that and I said, oh, I better stop because people are going to think I'm crazy because I was So to me, that was the first point in time that I felt something outside of me working on me And then when my friend said go give that AA thing a try that was like the second time so I was like, I think I need to pay attention to this so I go to a meeting the next night and it's a Monday night and the meeting was at 9 o'clock like old time speaker meeting open speaker meeting with 200 people in the room smoke, remember when you did smoking meetings from here to the ceiling and I walk in and the first person I see at the door is my hairdresser and she's like what are you doing here same thing you're doing here what a stupid question to ask me I'm here for the cookies so across the room there was this guy that a few months before that I was at a party with this other guy that I drank and I'm trying to get him, come on dude, have a drink with me we just did a great show, we're going to have a good time he says, oh I can't I'm like, what do you mean you can't? Come on, have it with me he's like, I can not I said, you can not have one and he said to me, no I said alright, well I'll have one for you so this other guy he was about 6'5 and he's this big guy and he looks down at me and says don't worry Tim we're saving you a seat right so now I'm like I want to fight with this guy thank God he didn't or he would have killed me but there he is across the room in this meeting so I walk up to him and I say I tap him I say hey man I said hey I said you still got that seat for me and he says yeah and he puts me in the front row right and I'm going to tell you about that experience some other time but you can obviously identify with that feeling of it's going to be okay and I'll get into that a little further because it's important to talk about that like I had experiences of what the doctor's opinion talks about so that's a little bit of background about how I got here and at that meeting he handed me this book this one here on the table you know it's falling apart and it's written all over because I think that's what big books should look like because it means you've been working with them you know if they're nice and pristine and on the shelf I mean that's nice if you have one that's Nice and Pristine on the Shelf you know somewhere but you gotta have one that's worked on that's been handled you know because that means you're in the solution you know I don't particularly know how many middle of the road type of meetings there are up here you know the meetings that the mere moral code of, you know, like, don't drink and go to meetings. You know, the program for a certain type of hard drinker. I don't know how they work up here, but this is a solution-based meeting, which means that the solution to my alcoholism is presented in this book, Alcoholics Anonymous. And the first promise of the program is the subtitle of the book. I introduced myself as, because I have experienced that. I noticed Jared did as well. It says, the story of how many thousands of men and women have recovered from alcoholism. Past tense, recovered. And that's a running theme throughout the book. Recovered, recovered, recovered... I'm here to share my experience, strength, and hope based on this book and my experience with it. The journey that I've had with it, and I hope to take with you guys. Because to me, this is it. This is... I mean, the book says, Alcoholist Anonymous. it doesn't say how people in AA got sober it doesn' t say some program it doesn''t say non-conference approved literature of other programs that people take you know, somebody's way through it doesn'T say Alcoholics Anonymous and at the bottom of the page it says AlcoholicsAnonymousWorldServicesInc which is our publishing body so this is our opinion our opinion if you're a member of outlaw's anonymous, of how we stay sober. This is the program that they were so kind enough to go through and write down just for me. Maybe for other people but I know it's just for them. They wrote it for me they definitely wrote it from me you know and that's, so that first promise being recovered you know like when I walked to those rooms, you know I talked about being angry, I was a young man when I got here you know, I got sober less than a month and a half before I turned 22. Okay, so I drank legally for less than an year. So I did some good damage, you know what I mean? Like, and you know, and I used to get those stupid expressions that people would say to me. I spilled more than you drank, you knew it. And I'd say, no you didn't. And they'd say and if you did, so what? Oh, so you're a better alcoholic than me? Is that how that, you Know, like that was it was just that kind of thing that I got I just never understood that stuff so that man handed me this book and he told me he said hey read it it's all about you what he said to me that's the most brilliant words that anybody has ever said to me in my life so I started reading for the first time in my live I actually did what someone told me to do because my way wasn't working because at 22 years old I was a member of Alcoholics Anonymous I still have good plans huh so so this book right you know for those of you who I suggest bringing one and following along because that's what I'm going through so and I like you know I got my name I was sober almost 10 years when I got my name you know and it happened to be like I went to meetings in the area and there were like four Tims and you know because we're quote unquote anonymous you know everybody gets nicknames so the Tims where there was a carpenter Tim there was a Chef Tim there was Grateful Tim and I became Big Book Tim because like I said, this book it's a part of my life and there's always those people who are curmudgeons about I can't quote any pages and I don't like anybody who does so then they probably don't like me because that's what I do the book is alive for me something comes up and somebody's going through a problem And, you know, I was taught that you're either living in the problem or you're living in the solution. And the solution to any problem that we have can be found in this book. Even if it's not a direct solution, it's a direction to go someplace else for a solution to that particular problem. I've never seen it fail. Ever. Never. Never seen it fall. So when I'm here and somebody's talking about something and they're going through something, let's say maybe somebody's in a psychobabble meeting, I mean a discussion meeting, and And they're talking about, like, what they did to me. You know what they Did to Me this time? Right? So immediately, my head goes right to page 62, where it says, Selfishness, self-centeredness, that we think is the root of our trouble. Driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, selfseeing, and self-pity. Okay, so that's what happens. So through the course of my sharing and trying to be... Because when I open my mouth, I don't go to AA meetings to help me. I don't do that. That's not my job anymore. When I was new, I needed that. When I Was New, I needed everything you people could give me because my life sucked and I couldn't run it. So I needed help. But when I got to a point where I had access to a higher power and things started going in the right direction, it was now my job because it talks about that later on in the book to be of maximum service to other people. So when I opened my mouth, it needs to be to give, not to take anymore. I did an uptake right so that was the thing so I would share that I would say on page so now if you have a book and you turn to that page you're going to see what I just said right and that was the thing so it was two things and that man who handed me this book he was my first sponsor and I would go to him with all my problems you know how that is you know they pick up in front of your collar what about this what should I do what about this what about this what about this what about this right and he'd say I don't know Tim what's the big book saying about it That was his answer to me all the time, right? So I finally had enough of that. And I said, well, what the hell do I need you for? And he said, Well, I know what page it's on. So it was twofold for me to save the page. You know, it reminded me of where it is. Because in my head, I see a giant big book. I do. I see even pages are on the left and the odd pages are on the right. And I see it. And, you know, it's pretty cool how that works. God gave me that gift. That's nice. So I say it because it reminds me. And then hopefully somebody who's stuck in that problem will turn to that page and look it up. And I hope, I mean, I love when people come up to me and say, you said this, you said the, and it says uh. I'm like, awesome. Because it got them to open the book. Right? Because that's where I want people. And members of alcoholism, I want them here. Because this is it. And then everything else kind of comes from that, right? So that's what I love about this. And it's laid out so wonderfully, you know. On my first page, which is generally a blank page, if not blank on mine, I have the set-aside prayer. And I have somebody's name and address. And I Have the first guy that I ever got his phone number from in AA is on here. And in parentheses it says gone, because he's gone. He's not May A anymore. This guy went to high school. So, you know, and for anybody who hasn't had the experience of taking somebody through this book, I will pass on one of the first insults you can give to your pigeon, or sponsees if they like to call them nowadays, is, you now that first page, that blank page, that's what you know about recovery. because that's what I knew about recovery absolutely nothing nothing I thought I knew something yeah, yeah, you know I'm sure you've done those things right? you know and I heard things like keep it simple stupid and they meant stupid and they said it a lot but they don't say that anymore because it's nice to people pat them on the back and say he needs you keep coming back you help me more than I help you so I don't know like we're on a channel 13 fundraiser I don' t know but we need members like we need members right so I'm very happy with what God put in my life that I was given this book I was giving it to a person who had a solution who was living in this book who was no nonsense his sponsor was this notorious mean person. He wasn't mean. You know, he had a big black book that's about six to eight in hand the size of the book and he sat there up at the beginning of the meeting you know and he had a cane and he pounded on the floor and he would just bark things at people and say how it works you know it was that. So then there'd be arguments and he'd crumple up five dollar bills and throw them at people and say get out of here you ain't done go drink that was my first sponsor's sponsor who fortunately enough died before I got sober but recently before I Got Sober, he died in like March I got sober in May but this man had 5,000 people at his funeral this mean man 5,00 people I can't even or, you know, like, I've been to big events and stadiums and stuff, but, like 5,000 people showing up to see a dead person. Like, that's a life, right? That's something. So I got, like a tempered version of that God. So that was cool. So I had, you now, and it's about balance. I had the tough side of things, but then I also had understanding and compassion. And I had somebody teaching me. I had someone guiding me and pushing me. and that expression of he taught me how to fish instead of giving me the fish that was the kind of thing he did by saying I don't know Tim what's the big book say about it it forced me to use my head to use the brains that God gave me because ultimately that's where I want to be you know don't think what are you talking about that's the biggest action that we do as alcoholists and recovering alcoholists as we think We can't do anything physically without thinking. Even the physical actions of blinking and breathing and all that stuff, there's a thought that perceives it. It's just so fast that we can't perceive it. But there is a thought because once our brain goes, that stuff stops. Except for the heart, of course. That just keeps on beating. Never knows when to quit. So it's kind of like us, right? We never know when to click. But that's the type of thing, you know... my thinking was screwed up when I got here and I needed a solution to that because nothing I was doing was working and it was either you know come and do this or die I mean those were my alternatives because I was miserable I didn't want to live my own death so the book is laid out such that you know after the title page the contents tells you what's in there little blurbs about the personal stories which I love I love the personal stories and I'll get into them in the last week I talk about some of the things that are in there and it starts with the preface I'm going to go through the book so it may be a little tedious for some people it may not, hopefully I'll keep it as entertaining as I possibly can so it's this preface, this is the third edition I work out of the third so I'll read out ofthe fourth when I need to because there are some changes with things so we'll get there this is a third edition of the book Alcohol Synonymous The first edition appeared in April 1939, and in the following 16 years, more than 300,000 copies went into circulation. The second edition, published in 1955, reached a total of more than 1,150,000 copyists. Because this book has become the basic text for our society and has helped such large numbers of alcoholic men and women to recovery, there exists a sentiment against any radical changes being made in it. Therefore, the first portion of this volume describing the AA Recovery Program has been left untouched in the course of revisions made both for the second and third editions. So, a couple things there. It says, become the basic text for our society. Basic text. Okay? Basic, meaning the lowest level. Starting point. Text. Now, a text I went to school, I was fortunate enough to go to college and get an education since then here. And a text is information about a particular subject that has a mastery of that subject. so in our case we have a basic text where we start about alcoholism it's the mastery of this subject that we learn further on it says the first portion of this volume is describing the AA recovery program well that's kind of obvious isn't it the first version of this column has the AA Recovery Program so if somebody is sitting out there and they don't know where to go and what to start and what the do, the first portion of this book contains the AA recovery program. Okay, so now we have a starting point. We have a basic text that has what we want. There it is. Okay? Now I always find this funny because it says radical changes. There's been a few radical changes in the first version. And I'll get to that when we get to them. You know, and it says it has been left untouched in the course of revision. That's arguable, and I'm sure I'll get to that controversy when we get to those controversies. But for the most part, it has stayed true to the original message of what Bill and the other founders wanted us to hear. Okay, and then it gets on to some House opinion stuff. The section called The Doctor's Opinion has been kept intact. This was originally written in 1939 by the late Dr. William G. Silkworth, our society's great medical benefactor. The second edition added the appendices, which was 1955, the twelve traditions and the directions for getting in touch with AA. But the chief change was in the section of the personal stories, which expanded to reflect the fellowship's growth. Bill's story, Dr. Bob's Nightmare, and one of the Personal History from the first edition were retained intact. Three were edited, one of those was retitled, new versions of two stories were written with new titles, third completely new story, you know, and yours is probably a little different on the fourth, obviously. In this third edition, you know, it talks about where they switched them, what's been taken out. And then the last paragraph says all the changes made over the years in the big book A.A.'s fond nickname for this volume have had the same purpose colon Now colon is used throughout the book all the time Now in the English language colon means pay attention to what's coming next because this is important Okay In anatomy and physiology a colon is an a-hole Okay so now you know when I'm reading this okay I see a colon and it's talking directly to me right so it says this in my head have had the same purpose at all so because I don't know about anybody else when I get called that I immediately pay attention right so now a book is calling me what do you okay oh to represent the current membership of Alcoholics Anonymous more accurately and thereby to reach more alcoholics. Oh, okay, cool, makes sense. But you better not call me that again. Right? But he's going to, lots more, right? He says, if you have a drinking problem, we hope that you may pause in reading one of the 44 personal stories, or I think 43 in the fourth, and think, oh, there he is again, yes, that happened to me. Or, more important, yes, I have felt like that. Or most important, And yes, I believe this program can work for me too. Right? So those last ideas. Identification process. We come into a room and we hear things. We hear the war stories, which are extremely important, by the way. I mean, we don't want to hear a whole hour of them because we all have them. Everybody can go around this room and tell one drunk story here and we go, and probably about 80-90% of the rest of the room is going to go, yep yep, crap, I passed it oh, you peed in the plant? oh yeah, I did that too, the same night you know, and so that identification process so then we feel comfortable, oh, I'm in the right room I'm on the right road you know and then we have, I felt like that right, because that's important to us alcoholics that people understand how we feel that's important feelings are important they're important I don't like how that makes me feel and then you know my sponsor would say I don' t care how you feel your feelings aren't facts so shut up and I'm like but they are they're facts to me we'll get into that later because they are and then here it is that convincing statement that he said most importantly that convincing state yes I believe this will work for me too so within that we have what it was like what happened and what it's like now that formula is in that right there, okay, because I need to convince you, I need to show you that I know exactly what you're going through no matter how I look, no matter how I'm dressed, no mater what I'm driving no mater how much money I have, don't have no mater whats going on in my life I need you to be on the same page as me so you go, oh really The best compliment in my life that I've ever received in my life was, I can't imagine you with a drinking problem. Would you like some phone numbers? But that's a testament to this. It's a testament to God. Not me. I'm still that same person believe me. You know, so I need to have something that's sufficient enough to make me not that guy that walked in here a bunch of years ago. Or else I'm not going to be here, right? So now we have this. Oh, okay, so what happened? Well, I felt like this and this is what happened. I'm going to tell you what's going on. Okay, so what do you do to fix that? Right? Well listen, I'm not going to tell you what it's like, what happened, what I went through, all this kind of stuff. So that way you can go, really? You think that's happened to you? I felt liked that too. Oh, if you could do it, yeah, I think maybe I can. Right? So there it is. And that's in two pages of this book. Right? I don't know, you know, you can go to a thousand meetings and never get that message. I've experienced that. I've experience people go to meetings for years and never getting that message They sit across the table from me and I read that to them and they're just like stunned. You know, five, six, seven years of going to meetings. My God, I would have been dead. I needed what this book had to offer me. I really can't because I told you in 90 days I was going to, that was it, man. I won't kill you, I'll kill me, I'm going to kill everybody. And then I won' have to worry about printing. And there will be a tank for you and it's kind of something. So moving on, forward to the first edition. It says, this is a forward as it appeared in the first printing of the first version of 19 very young. I apologize, I actually have a replica of the first print book. As a side book, I was looking online today because I wanted to find out when the second printing of the first edition was because that's when they put the second appendix, the spiritual experience. That's when that happened. I couldn't find it. But interestingly enough, I saw all these first edition Big Books for sale that somebody who was alive got it. And I saw it at $50,000, $6,000. I'm thinking like, Wow, that much money for a book. And I thought about that. I was like, wow, only $50,000 for a life? That's pretty cheap. That was the next thought. And then I thought, my God, where did that come from? I don't care who lives. My nature is $50K, that's a year's salary. Cool, I can do stuff with that. You know, and then I have this wonderful selfless thought that says, you know, where did that come from? Right? That's an example of how God's in my life. It's really cool, right? All right, so we get into here. It says, we of Alcoholics Anonymous are more than 100 men and women who have recovered, hey, look at that, from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body, which is usually where the argument starts, right, because if you say you're a recovered alcoholic, right?, You know, immediately you're that person. Remarkably, you know, yeah, you're that guy or that woman. Oh, they're recovered. Yes, I am. Okay, and then they start in with you from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body. Okay, well, what is that? What is that seemingly hopeless stage of mind and body? Well, you know. Yes, like you know it's called alcoholism and I'm recovered from it. That whole way. Go make the coffee. You know. to show other alcoholics and here's in the first edition the italics are capitalized and every time you see italics in the book it means pay attention because it costs us more money to print it that's how that works to show another alcoholic precisely how we have oh there it is again recovered is the main purpose of this book that's it, the main focus it's a book of directions It's a direction book. Cool. I like directions. I don't know about anybody else, but I'm one of those IKEA furniture guys. I love when they come because you open it up and you get a picture and you follow the directions. Next thing you know, you have a dresser. Like, I love that stuff. You know, so I have a book. No, follow directions. That gets over. Yay. Right? For them, we hope that these pages will prove so convincing that no further authentication be necessary. we think this account of our experiences will help everyone to better understand the alcoholic many do not comprehend that the alcoholic is a very sick person and besides we are sure that our way of living has its advantages for all. We are so sure as a matter of fact that there are over 850 different 12 step fellowships that have written to GSO to ask for permission to move around the 12 steps here and there change a word or two. That's how convinced we are. That's how important this book, this program, and AA is to the world and to history. How cool is that, that you're a part of that? I love that. I'm like, you know, it's just, what a gift that is. Okay, so, and then, you know it's important they're a sick person, right? Because what do most people think of alcoholics? Right? They don't think of us as sick people. They don' t think of us as people who are sick trying to get well or who were sick and have recovered and who are no longer sick. They think of us as jerks. They think about us as people who are speaking proud and can't handle the jigger. Right? That's what they think of. Right? But they don't think of that on people who have cancer. Why do you have cancer? You know, but they yell at drugs all the time. You're drinking again! Why do I have lupus? You know, like it just doesn't make sense. We're sick people, right? It is important that we remain anonymous because we are too few at present to handle the overwhelming number of personal appeals which may result from this publication. Being mostly business or professional folk, we could not carry on our occupations in such an event. We would like it understood that our alcoholic work is an advocation. So I've done, you know, obviously a lot of research and stuff. I understand the need for the anonymity at that point but you know, the world has changed so much and there's such a worldwide spread of things that you know it depends on the hour of the day if you ask me about anonymity and how important it is really for me personally anybody has their right to their singularity of how anonymous or not anonymous they want to be oh, here comes another controversy this is wonderful right now at this present moment in time I'm speaking for Alcoholics Anonymous I'm a member of Alcoholics Anonymous, speaking about the book AlcoholicsAnonymous my experience of it my experience, strength and hope of recovery so therefore I'm seeking for Alcoholic Anonymous and anybody who does that from a podium is speaking for Alcoholicsanonymous because there's always that disclaimer I don't speak for AA well yes you are Right now, at this moment, you're speaking for AA because you're presenting an AA message. That's what you're supposed to be doing. Not presenting a story about your day. You're presenting proof as to why AA works. Okay, so it's a controversial thing. There are people who have broken their anonymity and went off and spun things a certain way. You know, but within the fellowship of AA, within the confines of meetings of Alcoholics Anonymous, when the person is speaking, they're speaking for AA. They're doing 12-step work, right? When they go into the outside world, no single individual speaks for AA, okay? That's the difference between the personal anonymity and the anonymity at the level of public level, okay. So, you know, that's how that is. So when I'm speaking here, this is my experience, it's my strength, it's My Hope. We can argue, we can discuss it, we can agree. You don't have to... It's all that. It's an experience. It'a journey. That's what we're doing. I mean, I've been around for quite some time and, you know, like, I didn't like everybody I've met. And then there's people that I love and I think they have a great message. Right? So that's how it is and that's why I get... The first time I spoke from a podium, I had... I was sober almost nine years because I didn' feel that I had a message of recovery that I could pass on to people that was indicative of how AA works. Like, people at 90 days, unless they're like really on fire and God's in them. I mean, the message that they can talk about is where the coffee is, where the bed's in it, you know, like that's where they're at, which is great and miraculous. But our job as people speaking for AA is to share experience, strength, and hope with each other in hopes that we will solve our common problem and help others to recover from alcoholism. If I have somebody speaking from 90 days, then let's start a beginner meeting, which is Great, because somebody who's sober 8 days is going to identify more with somebody with 90 days, as opposed to somebody with 8,000 days. Right? So that's, you know, there's a place for all of it. There's a space for all. It shouldn't be at an anniversary meeting. Right? Because that's what this book is. This book is our first public information, piece of public information. This is what enabled all of us to be here, this book. It wasn't the meetings. This was. And we'll get into that. Right? So and he brings it up next. He says, while writing or speaking publicly about alcoholism, we urge each of our fellowship to omit his personal name, designating himself instead as a member of Alcoholics Anonymous. Very earnestly, we ask the press also to observe this request, for otherwise we shall be greatly handicapped. And that still goes on today. We have people, we have celebrities that go on all the time, they have cover stories in magazines, and it greatly handicaps us. Because even today, in almost the 14th year of the 21st century, there is still a massive stigma attached to alcoholism that it's moral weakness and not an illness we hope we are not an organization in the conventional sense of the word there are no fees or dues whatsoever the only requirement for membership is an honest desire to stop drinking we are non-allied with any particular faith, sect, or denomination nor do we oppose anyone we simply wish to be helpful to those who are afflicted we shall be interested to hear from those who are getting results from this book. It doesn't say from meetings, it says from this book. Particularly those who have commenced to work with other alcoholics. We should like to be helpful to such cases. Inquiry by scientific, medical and religious societies will be welcome. Alcoholics Anonymous. And I think it's wonderful that it's signed, Alcoholics Annonymous. Because that means that anybody who says that they're a member of Alcoholics Anonymous believes this message. It's passing this message on. They're speaking for alcohol synonymous, right? All right, forward to the second edition. I like this particular forward. There's a lot of good history stuff in here, right. It says, Figures given in the forward describe the fellowship as it was in 1955. Since the original forward to this book was written in 1939, a wholesale miracle has taken place. Wholesale. That's awesome. No markup on it. It's low, right, no distributor, no retailer. You know, wholesale. It's awesome. Our earliest printing voiced the hope that every alcoholic who journeys will find the Fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous at his destination. Already continues the early test, twos and threes and fives of us have sprung up in other communities. Sixteen years have elapsed between our first printing of this book and the presentation in 1955 of our second edition. In that brief space, AlcoholicsAnonymous has mushroomed into nearly 6,000 groups whose membership is far above 150,000 recovered alcoholics. Oh, recovered again, huh? But 6,000, wow, that's just remarkable, right? Groups are to be found in each of the United States and all provinces of Canada. AA is flourishing communities in the British Isles, the Scandinavian countries, South Africa, South America, Mexico, Alaska, Australia, and Hawaii. All told, promising beginnings have been made in some 50 foreign countries and U.S. possessions. some are just now taking shape in Asia many of our friends encourage us by saying that this is but a beginning only the augury of a much larger future ahead augury is the tip of the drill bit is what an augury ist I just some of that's amazing I think it's cool that Alaska and Hawaii because they were still countries then that's really cool that so much has changed Okay, the spark that was to flare into the first AA group was struck in Akron, Ohio in June 1935 during a talk between a New York stockbroker and an Akron physician. Six months early, the broker had been relieved of his drink obsession by a sudden spiritual experience following a meeting with an alcoholic friend who had been in contact with the Oxford groups for that day. He had also been greatly helped by the late Dr. William G. Silkworth, the New York specialist in alcoholism who is now accounted no less than a medical saint by AA members and whose story of the early days of our society appears in the next pages. From this doctor, the broker learned the grave nature of alcoholism as a mental obsession coupled with a physical compulsion that there's a manifestation of an allergy and a phenomenon of craving. That's what he learned. Though he could not accept all the tenets of the Oxford group, you know, the main one like being Christian, he was convinced of the need for moral inventory, confession of personality defects, restitution of those harms, helpfulness to others and the necessity in belief and dependence upon God. Upon God. Not the fellowship, not the meetings, upon God, yeah? One of the cool things that like, Silkworth is actually buried maybe 10 minutes from where I live. That's pretty cool. I live in Neptune, New Jersey. He's in Shrewsbury. He's buried there. So every year another one of our fellows he has a ceremonies thing where we pay homage to ironic I think prior to his journey to Akron the broker had worked hard with many alcoholics on the theory that only an alcoholic can help another alcoholic but he had succeeded only in keeping sober himself so his theory was wrong until that point the broker had gone to Akron on a business venture which had collapsed leaving him greatly in fear that he might start drinking again For those of you who don't know, Bill went to Akron to do a proxy battle to try to take over a company and lost. And the way proxy battles work, it's stockholders and shareholders, somebody says, oh, we don't like the way it's being run, and we want to takeover. And then the shareholders vote, and the person who brought the proxy, they either win and take control of the company or they lose. And in his case, he lost. And that's what happened, right? So he suddenly realized that in order to save himself He must carry his message to another alcoholic That alcoholic turned out to be The Akron physician As most of us know, Dr. Bob This physician had repeatedly tried spiritual means To resolve his alcohol dilemma But had failed Two and a half years, Dr., Bob was a member Of the Oxford group For two and a halve years But he didn't understand the nature of his alcoholism Ironic, even though he was a doctor And it took somebody outside of being a doctor it's still like that today I mean how many people tell you listen you can't I can't have that like I'm an alcoholic well it's got no alcohol in it okay I can not I can have Vicodin so yeah so we still need to keep educating it's amazing but when the broken game was silk where it's description obsession of the mind compulsion of the body of alcoholism the phenomenon of craving coupled with the allergy and his hopelessness. Now, there's the first point that we see hopelessness and you're going to see that throughout the book. The physician began to pursue the spiritual remedy for his malady with a willingness he had never before been able to muster because he was in that denial of like that it was actually a physical problem coupled with an emotional problem and a mental problem. He just thought it was a matter of willpower like most people do. He sobered never to drink up to the moment of his death in 1950. This seemed to prove that one alcoholic it could affect another as no non-alcoholic could. It also indicated that strenuous work, one alcoholic with another, was vital to permanent recovery. Vital. You see that word throughout the book over and over and around. Vital. Necessary for life. That's one of the definitions of it. You know, when we go and take our vitals or blood pressure, all that stuff. Vital. And then what does it say there? Wow, look at that. It says permanent recovery Permanent. Which means that you recover and you never drink again. Sounds like recovered, doesn't it? But it requires this. Oh, was it a strenuous work, right? Cool. Alright, hence the two men set forth frantically upon alcohol surviving in the ward at Akron City Hospital. The very first case of desperate one. Oh what did he do? Recovered immediately and became AA number three. He never had another drink. This work at Akroon continued through the summer of 1935 there were many failures but there was an occasional heartening success. When the broker returned to New York in the fall of 1935, the first AA group had actually been formed though no one realized that at the time. Obviously they didn't realize that at the time because they were still part of the Oscar groups at the times. And then our good boy Clarence, that we're about to read about, claims that he started the first AA Group, which technically you could make that argument for because he wasn't part of The Oscar Groups that were up and clean. Now here, I'm going to read you out of my third edition here, and it's different. It's different. Ironically, right? How do you change it forward? It says the second small group had probably taken shape in New York and besides they were scattered excuse me by late 1937 the numbers of members having substantial sobriety time behind them was sufficient to convince the membership that a new light had entered into the dark world of the alcoholic. The second small groups had probably taking shape at New York and besides there were scattered alcoholics who had picked up the basic ideas in Akron or New York and were trying to form AA groups in other cities. now that's different right because it says here a second small group probably took shape at New York to be followed in 1937 with the start of a third at Cleveland well that's a radical change isn't it that's pretty radical it changed history now which is why after having done research the second one that I read is the right one they changed it for the third edition I don't understand why it's crazy man alright so moving on it was now time the struggling groups thought to place their message and unique experience before the world the determination bore fruit in the spring of 1939 by the publication of this volume alright the membership had reached about a hundred men and women the fledgling society which had been nameless now began to be called Alcoholics Anonymous from the title of its own book so the book came before the fellowship was called AA the book was AA then we were AA and by the way at that particular point 100 men and women there was 99 men and 1 woman because one of the considerations was 100 men which would have been a falsity the flying blind period ended and AA entered a new phase of its pioneering time with the appearance of the new book a great deal began to happen Dr. Harry Emerson Fonting, the noted clergyman, reviewed it with approval. In the fall of 1939, Fulton Mousler, then editor of Liberty, printed a piece in his magazine called Alcoholics and God. This brought a rush of 800 frantic inquiries into the little New York office, which meanwhile had been established. Each inquiry was painstakingly answered. Pamphlets and books were sent out. Businessmen traveling out of existing groups were referred to these prospective newcomers. New groups started up and it was found, to the astonishment of everyone, that AA's message could be transmitted in the mail as well as by word of mouth. In the mail? You mean not face to face? Wow, how did that work? By the end of 1939 it was estimated that 800 alcoholics were on their way to recovery. So I wish I had a business that from April to December grew 800%. That's the growth there. 800%! In that short amount of time. All because of this book. This book did that, right? In the spring of 1940, John D. Rockefeller Jr. gave a dinner for many of his friends to which he invited AA members to tell their stories. Well, we covered ones probably, right ? News of this got on the world wires. Inquiries poured in again. Many people went to the bookstore to get the book Alcoholics Anonymous. They didn't go to a meeting. By March 1941, the membership had shot up to 2,000. from 100 to 2,000 in less than two years I want that kind of business then Jack Alexander wrote a feature article in the Saturday Evening Post and placed such a compelling picture of AA before the general public that alcoholism needed help really delusions by the close of 1941 AA numbered 8,000 members the mushrooming process was in full swing AA had become a national institution I'm glad we're an institution In fact, society then entered a fearsome and exciting adolescent period The test it faced was this There it is again Could these large numbers of erstwhile erratic alcoholists Successfully meet and work together? Would there be quarrels over membership, leadership, and money? Would there быть stridings for power and prestige? Wouldn't there be schisms which would split AA apart? Soon, AA was beset by the very problems On every side and in every group And still is but out of this frightening and at first disrupting experience the conviction grew that AAs had to hang together or die separately we had to unify our fellowship or pass off the scene as we discovered the principles by which the individual could live so we had two of all principles by which see AA groups and AA as a whole can survive and function effectively it was thought that no alcoholic men and women could be excluded from our society that our leaders might serve but never govern that each group was to be autonomous meaning self-governing That there was to be no professional class of therapy. There were to be no fees or dues. Our expenses were to be met by our own voluntary contributions. There was to me the least possible organization even in our service centers. Our public relations were to based on attraction rather than promotion. Not in the fellowship. We promote the hell out of it in here. It was decided that all members ought to be anonymous at the level of press, radio, television, films, and now internet they say. And in those circumstances should we give endorsements? make alliances or enter public controversies. This was the substance of 8H12 traditions which are now stated in full on page well, in the third edition it's 564 where is it in the fourth edition? You can find that right? 564? Okay Though none of these principles had the force of rules or laws, they've become so widely accepted by 1950 that they were confirmed by a first international conference held at Cleveland ironically enough on July 4th Michael, independent day. Today, the remarkable unity of AA is one of its greatest assets that our society has. While the internal difficulties of our adolescent period were being ironed out, public acceptance of AA grew by leaps and bounds. For this, there were two principal reasons, and there's my favorite again, right? The large number of recoveries and reunited homes. These made their impressions everywhere. Now, this next section I'm about to read, the stats, I've seen early editions of the third edition, like the first four prankings of the third edition that do not have this. Wild, right? Of alcoholics who came to AA and really tried, 50% got sober and wants to remain that way. 25% sobered up after some relapses, and among the remainder, those who stayed on with AA showed improvement. Other thousands came to a few AA meetings and first decided they didn't want the program, but great numbers of these, about two out of three, began to return as time passed. So that is missing from some books around. That's pretty radical thing, right? Another reason for the wide acceptance of AA was the ministration of friends. Friends in medicine, religion, and the press, together with innumerable others who became our able and persistent advocates. Without such support, AA could have made only the slowest progress. Some of the recommendations of AA's early medical and religious friends will be found further on in this book. Alcoholics Anonymous is not a religious organization. Even if that says AA take any particular medical point of view, though we cooperate widely with the men of medicine as well as the men of religion, alcohol being no respecter of persons we are an accurate cross section of America and in distant lands the same democratic evening up process is now going on by religious affiliation we include Catholics, Protestants Jews, Hindus and a sprinkling of Muslims and Buddhists more than 15% of us are women at present our membership is increasing at the rate of about 7% a year, I wish so far upon the total problem of several million actual and potential alcoholics in the world, we have made only a scratch. In all probability, we shall never be able to touch more than a fair fraction of the alcohol problem in all its ramifications. Upon therapy for the alcoholic himself, we surely have no monopoly. That's right, we don't. It is our great hope that all those who have yet found no answer may begin to find one on the pages of this book, and we presently join us on the high road to new freedom. so amazing wonderful historic stuff there it's just this book has saved my life countless millions and hopefully I mean as long as I have a breath in me it's going to continue to go that way you know for better or for worse you know we have the forward to the third edition and to the fourth now there's two things if you'll indulge me for a minute that I want to bring up there at the bottom of the third edition it says each day somewhere in the world recovery begins when one alcoholic talks with another alcoholic sharing experience, strength and hope it begins there, doesn't end there that's really important and the last thing I want to bring up in the fourth edition here for anybody who has a printing, an eighth printing and before that, so one through eight has this in it on the last page it says fundamentally though the difference between an electronic meeting and the home group around the corner is one of format. That does not exist anymore from the ninth printing forward. The fellowship voted upon that and said, that's a bunch of crap. Okay? Because what happened is, is that somebody said, wait a minute. The home group down the street is completely different than somebody sitting at home with a beer in front of them typing with one hand. Okay? So that's why it was taken out. And it was really cool when this happened to be a part of that, to be part of what we do in AA. Somebody sent it to GSO. It was sent to the General Service Conference. It was set back through areas and sent back down to districts and groups and group members voted on it and went back up and they took it out. That is really, like, we did that. That's how important the forwards are. We'll skip by. Let's go right to the doctor's opinion. but look at how much information that we just had about that and that's me speaking fast okay, that's not even me just going through every single thing there's a lot I left out and I'm sure I'll go back to it throughout the time you know and you know for those of you who I don't know may have resentment about how long I talk I'm sorry about that I tend to be that way you know clocks in time get away from me a lot of times when I'm talking about recovery you know because I think you know I feel my opinion my experience is that I'm doing God's work right now this isn't about me you know so that's all I have for this week next week we'll get into the doctor's opinion and I hope to see all of you then thank you thank you David Tim it was a pleasure to have you speak and hopefully we got you know a sense of what the next episode is going to be like anyway it was probably recovery of each other's feet or recovery of taking a little trip without the purpose. Alright, closing. Our book is meant to be contested only. We realize that we are only a little. God will constantly disclose more to you and to us. Accelerate your morning meditations that you can do for us each day for the man who's still sick. He answered what comes if your own house is in order. But you obviously cannot transmit something you haven't got. See to it that your relationship with Him is right, and great events will come to pass after you empower others. This is a great fact for us. Advantage yourself to God as you understand God, and make your thoughts to Him and your fellows. Clear away the wreckage of your path. Give freely of what you can find and join us. We shall be with you in the fellowship of the Spirit, and you will surely need us at your church, the road of happy death. May God bless you and keep you until now. Amen. Thank you very much.