The Anonymity of Chuck C. and 18,000 White Eyeballs – Mary S.

About This Speaker Tape

1960, Long Beach, California. Mary S. stands before 18,000 pairs of white eyeballs, nerves shot, and promptly throws up all over the stage. It is a fitting image for a woman who describes herself as "89 pounds, 100 proof." Born into an Irish family where alcohol destroyed five brothers, Mary escaped to New York as a professional dancer, only to find the bottle waiting for her. She recounts a wreckage of alcoholic convulsions, DTs, and a marriage that felt like World War IV. The nadir came when a "criminally insane" man beat her father to death and shot him in the face.

Left with a void of oblivion, Mary eventually found a Higher Power through the guidance of a tough-as-horseradish sponsor. She describes the gritty work of sobriety: washing her woodwork until the paint came off and facing the "holy kiss" of forgiveness. In a jarring turning point, she comes face-to-face with her father's killer in a jail cell, discovering that love can open prison doors.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Introduction of Mary S. by Dave.
• 3:15 Laughter: Mary's story about being 'drug' onto a stage in Long Beach and throwing up.
• 7:40 Mary discusses her childhood in an Irish family with five alcoholic brothers.
• 12:10 The 'golden elixir' and the start of her drinking as a professional dancer.
• 16:45 The tragedy of her father's murder and her subsequent five-month blackout.
• 20:10 Description of her suicide attempt and the 'cunning, baffling, and powerful' nature of the disease.
• 24:30 Mary's first AA meeting and the role of her Sunday school teacher, Roland R.
• 30:15 The process of forgiving her father's killer and the miracle of the prison visit.
• 36:40 Discussion on gossip in AA and the importance of kindness.
• 42:10 The heartbreak of her son Billy's alcoholism and his path to sobriety.
• 48:50 Mary's confrontation with a military sergeant at Fort Bragg over her son Bobby.
• 55:10 Closing thoughts on the 'black sheep' and the love of a Higher Power.