The Allergy to Alcohol and the Penicillin Comparison – Hank J.

About This Speaker Tape

Pacific Group - 1988

Hank J. maps out a life spent as a professional observer drifting through 25 years of emotional stagnation where he acted 18 until he was 43. He describes a cycle of 'fantasizing his life away' on the edge of a bed with a bottle of cheap vodka planning grand returns to success and the purchase of a white Lincoln Continental to spite his ex-wife. The wreckage peaks with a chaotic marriage and a suicide attempt by his partner that left his wardrobe shredded to ribbons. Hank cuts through the delusion of 'moments of truth,' admitting he usually drank to avoid the truth. He eventually finds a gritty stability in the Pacific Group moving from a man who explained his existence to everyone on the street to a dependable father and grandfather finally achieving a state of being 'current' in his life and relationships.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:45 Hank J. discusses the illusion of manhood and the 'big time' drinking that started at 18.
• 5:12 Laughter: Hank describes the 'exciting drinking' stories of others versus his own boring habit of just sitting and drinking.
• 11:30 Hank details the cycle of the 'edge of the bed' fantasies and the white Lincoln Continental.
• 18:45 Hank describes the emotional distance and 'slobbering' love he showed his son while intoxicated.
• 26:10 Hank discusses the 'invisible line' into alcoholism and his comparison to a penicillin allergy.
• 32:15 The 'bottom': A description of the shredded clothes and the gas oven suicide attempt.
• 38:20 Hank's experience with a couple's workshop and his initial hatred for AA meetings.
• 45:10 Hank describes the 'bloody mary' that became his last drink 18 years ago.
• 52:30 Hank reflects on the death of his wife and the freedom of having no guilt because his 'house was in order'.
• 58:15 Applause: The transition to other speakers, including Harvey F. and Esther V.