The Alcohol That Stopped Working and Amplified the Feelings – Kip C.

About This Speaker Tape

Green Lake Roundup - 1999

A childhood spent in an all-alcoholic neighborhood in Vista set the stage for a life of high-stakes smuggling and federal prisons. Kip C. describes a trajectory of wreckage that includes the death of his brother to suicide and the catastrophic brain injury of his son events that left him hollowed out and clinging to narcotics as a solution for survival. After a failed suicide attempt and a brutal wake-up call from a sponsor who saw through his 'jailhouse look,' Kip found a way out through rigorous action and service. He maps a journey from being a 'tongue-chewing babbling idiot' in the bushes to becoming a contractor and father eventually finding a peace that allowed him to pray for the man who brutally attacked his daughter. He doesn't credit his own will but a total surrender to a Higher Power and the discipline of the 12 Steps.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:45 Kip C. introduces himself and describes his home group, the 'Men's Robbers Roost'.
• 2:15 Childhood memories of his father's drinking and the neighborhood 'show' that started when the old man came up the road.
• 5:10 The 'magic moment' of first using drugs at age twelve.
• 10:20 Recounts being arrested in Mexico at sixteen with 200 kilos of dope and time in La Mesa Federal Prison.
• 16:40 The tragedy of his son being run over by a truck and the subsequent 18 years of brain damage.
• 19:10 The discovery of his brother's suicide and the 'pile of maggots' in his head.
• 25:30 The moment of absolute bottom: spending his daughter's food money on wine while she starved.
• 31:15 Laughter: The story of the woman who hugged and kissed him in the meeting when he felt like an animal.
• 36:40 Discussion of the 12 Steps and his initial resistance to the 'Higher Power stuff' and the inventory process.
• 42:10 The suicide attempt and the brutal wake-up call from his sponsor, Charlie T.
• 51:20 The spiritual challenge of praying for the man who attacked his daughter.
• 58:10 Reflections on his son's death in his arms and the meaning of serenity.