The Agnostic Who Realized Higher Power Was a Version of Herself – Valerie D.

About This Speaker Tape

Texas State AA Convention - 2005

A childhood spent as an 'equal opportunity thief' and a teen years marked by high-speed car chases and juvenile detention centers set the stage for Valerie D.'s long war with alcohol. After a period of 'so-dry-ity' where she remained a liar and a thief while attending meetings she spiraled through a failed attempt at raising sheep in Georgia and a double life in New York as a fine art rep by day and a gun-toting biker by night. The turning point came through a brutal no-nonsense sponsorship with Camille F. who called her a 'mad dog alcoholic' and forced her to confront the spiritual bottom of her own arrogance. By paying back stolen money in small painful increments and surrendering her 'little plans and designs,' Valerie D. moved from a state of suicidal rage to a life of service in her Richmond home group.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:45 Laughter: Valerie D. jokes about her mother's presence and her fear of what might come out of her mouth.
• 3:15 Valerie D. describes her childhood as an 'equal opportunity thief' and her early feelings of not fitting in.
• 6:20 Description of early AA meetings in Florida: clouds of smoke and 'oldies' talking smack.
• 8:40 The 'so-dry-ity' period: staying dry for three years while remaining spiritually ill.
• 12:10 The failed attempt to control drinking by raising sheep in Georgia.
• 16:40 The double life: fine art rep by day, biker with a gun and do-rag by night.
• 21:10 The 'mad dog' encounter: Camille F. confronts Valerie D.'s spiritual bottom and demands a rigorous 12 Step process.
• 25:30 Step 2 discussion: The 'We Agnostics' chapter and the realization that her view of a vindictive Higher Power was a reflection of herself.
• 28:15 Step 4 and 5: The struggle with the 'fourth column' and the experience of reading her inventory to strangers.
• 31:40 The grind of making financial amends on a $13,000 salary.
• 34:10 Step 10 and 11: Moving away from 'stealing' her sponsor's experience and developing a personal prayer life.
• timecode Discussion of the home group's role and the importance of the primary purpose.