The 12 Traditions and Unity – 12 Traditions Workshop – Part 2 of 8 – John C.

My name is John Malkholic. Thanks, Paul, for the invite to do this. A couple disclaimers which you will quickly learn if you haven't already. Shannon and I are not experts on the traditions by any stretch of the imagination. We are just enthusiasts is probably the right word. Satisfied customers of Alcoholics Anonymous is what we are. You know, there's only a couple reasons why you come to Traditions Workshop on a Saturday morning. Your sponsor hates you, right? And you got, you know, you're new in recovery and you got nothing else to do. Any of those here? No? There we go. Okay, beautiful, beautiful. hey that's how I wound up in half my first year of sobriety um and the other reason is that you have you've had a somewhat of a deep effective experience in Alcoholics Anonymous that you really can't explain I mean we can explain right the 12 steps but like you really cannot explain it but that you know your life depends upon that and that that opportunity continues and obviously the hope for that opportunity to continue for those that come after us and our kids and our grandkids so that's another reason why we end up in these tradition meetings I'm very excited to be here I'm excited you guys are here Shannon and I have done zero planning just to be straightforward and that was kind of intentional Paul was very worried about his selection for this workshop and was nagging me for a long time. Did you talk to Shannon? Did you guys figure it all out? What are you going to do? And then, you know, finally, a couple weeks ago, Shannon and I talked and we're like, all right, we're just going to kind of wing it. But, I mean, not wing it in a casual, like we don't care sense, but like wing it from the environment of like hopefully that God will speak through us and our experience will be useful and, you know, I have been sober a long time and I'll tell you I've been guilty of planning some workshops and, yeah, there's some plans involved but in terms of my presentation and I like to turn the brain off and open the heart up. So I know we said the serenity prayer but if you're like me, you really don't listen when we say the sereny prayer because we say it so often. So if you'd just join me in a second and get quiet and we can invite God in, it would be great. God, please help me set aside everything I think I know about my disease, my recovery, these traditions, and especially you. Please open my heart for a new experience with my disease. My recovery, my traditions, these things, and you. Amen. you know um in these two hours and 20 minutes we have minus the breaks uh we're certainly not going to cover all 12 traditions if you do the math on that that's not a lot of time for each one of us to talk about each one we're going to bounce back and forth uh you know we might get through the first tradition in the first hour i don't know i mean um you know i think these i've had the fortune of being exposed to a lot OFAA around the country and around the world and and there are some people that have this kind of school of thought and Shannon might be one of them and I don't mean anything critical by it but like some people have this idea that you know, I work the 12 steps and I work the 12 traditions and that's just not been my experience. I think the 12 predictions are to be incorporated in my life you know To me, they're really 12 job descriptions. I'm not going to get too far in the first tradition here, but they all bring us back to unity. The following 11 traditions are about bringing us back to unity, just like the first 11 steps sort of obviously on a basic level to keep us sober. The next 11 traditions after the first one are to keep as unified because without each other, we're dead. I don't know about you guys, but God speaks to me in 90 degrees. And so when I'm unified with you guys I miss it, right? I never know what message I'm going to miss. So as I said, Shannon is a lot closer to an expert than I am. I've done a lot of these with my wife and we've talked about traditions in relationships and incorporating those in our relationships. And so I'm gonna talk from a lot those perspectives. And if my sponsee Bill will turn off his cell phone, that would be great. And we're just going to bounce back and forth and have a conversation. So with that, I'm so happy to be here with my friend Shannon who I think is just awesome. Right back at you. Hey everybody, I am Shannon. I am an alcoholic. Hi Shannon. I just love the traditions. So I am so grateful to be asked anywhere right today but especially to be talking about the traditions just makes me so happy. and I say that because as John mentioned this program of course has completely changed my life but I didn't really know anything about the traditions until I was a couple years sober when my sponsor hated me and so what I didn' t realize though was at this point where I was learning the traditions or studying the traditions working the traditions whatever you want to call it um i was kind of at this like uh plateau and my like we have ebbs and flows right and i was certainly in in one of those kind of lower points and um what i didn't realize for the first couple years i was sober was all of the blessings and all of the promises that the traditions really hold for me um if i'm interested in them right very similar to the steps and the promises that I get from those. And so, I didn't realize that I was cutting myself off from half of the program, right? It's kind of how I view it today. And, so, as John mentioned, right, the steps, how the traditions were explained to me was that the steps are there so that I don't kill myself. Yay! And the traditions are there, so I don' t kill you. You're welcome! You know, and that's really true because it teaches me how to be unified with you all because i did not get any awards for playing well with with others before i got here right and even some could argue a few years after i got here too but you know um but i didn't know how to do that those were all great concepts that like maybe was for like advanced sobriety but maybe not i those weren't attainable those didn't seem like things that applied to me that i could get um what i didn t realize is is that I kind of knew some of the traditions prior to even going through them and having an understanding of kind of where they came from, how I can apply them not only in my meeting settings or in my group settings in general service, which I also love so much , but also in relationships and my jobs and wherever I'm in my home, right? With my children, with my husband, all of those things. I can carry these same thought processes and principles throughout. Very similar to how hopefully I'm doing that with my step work as well, but also with all of the promises that the traditions holds for me. So yeah, so super, super excited to kind of get through here. We did not prepare at all and I'm also a big proponent of doing some work but I think that for me, I'm really good sometimes at being very black and white and like planning every half second and like John said, I don't think that that allows, that really strict dogmatic black and white for me, what I have found is that I don' t allow for those gray areas. And that's frequently where God is for me. It's kind of in those gray area. And so, you know, I'm probably just lazy too. But that's kind how I view it. So yeah, we can certainly just kind of jump right in and kind of want this to be a very— I love that there's so many notebooks and I, you know, would love to tell you that they're going to be full when you leave, but they might still be empty. So just be prepared for that. And yeah, we can kind of jump right in and I'll turn it over to John if you want to take us off. Sure. Yeah. Our common welfare comes first. Personal recovery depends upon a unity. I promise you we're not going to read to you for three hours, but there's a couple of things that I love to read about this idea of unity. We all know Dr. Bob's famous, well maybe you don't, but famous last talk and is quoted for this love and service ideal that we're supposed to achieve. And that's exactly right, and that's awesome. But the best part of that quote unquote last talk really came after that, and I'm going to read that to you. Well, I'll read the previous sentence. It's our 12 steps when simmered down to last resolve themselves the words love and service. We understand what love is, we understand what service is, so let's bear those things in mind. But this is really a part of this job description in the first tradition. Let us also remember to guard the erring member of the tongue. And if we use it, let's use it with kindness and consideration and tolerance. And one more thing, none of us would be here today if someone hadn't taken the time to explain things to us giving us a little pat on the back to take us to a meeting or two to do numerous little kind and thoughtful acts on our behalf and so this is important for us grumpy old-timers so let us never get to such a degree of smug complacency that we're not willing to extend or attempt to extend to our less fortunate brothers the help which has been so beneficial to us you know anything that I've learned about the traditions has been out of breaking them you know or coming with some bright idea to my sponsor you know and and it's always been communicated to me that way you know it's never been one of you know you're an idiot you know and you know just one out of explanation like hey this is what we've learned you know as Bill says at the beginning of the twelve traditions you know these have been learned on the anvils of experience you know your anvil is it's that big piece of iron or letter or steel, whatever it's made out of, that they hammer with fire, a sword or whatever piece of iron they're working with. It wasn't Bill's great pontification, hey I've got a couple years sober let's think of 12 rules for alcoholics and economists. No, it was like all these disasters were happening writing into Bill for him to be the judge figure this out for us, give us a rule here. And it all came back down to this idea of love and service and being able to extend to our fellow brothers and sisters what has been given to us. I did actually do some prep. I did. I did some reading. I hadn't read A Comes of Age in a long time. I didn't read the whole thing again. But there's a really beautiful part here in the beginning. If you're like me, you're a half-book reader. but Bill is talking about Dr. Bob and he says, we can almost hear him saying to us, come on Bill, back there, it seems to me you folks are making heavy going and not to be taken so seriously as all that. I was only just a first link in that chain of providential circumstances which is called AA. By grace and good fortune my link did not break, though my faults and failures often might have brought on that unhappy result. I was just another alcoholic trying to get along under the grace of God, and that's, you know, I think what I hope all of our objectives here today is to be this stronger link. You know, how can I be a better home group member? And I'm going to be talking a lot about a home group because I love my home group, but that has not always been a part of my vernacular. I got sober in an AA club in Maryland and that was not a part of our vernacular was the home group and so when I moved to a different county 16 years of sobriety that was kind of forced upon me and forced me into the traditions and you know, I think we all have this It's a really large responsibility to learn what's going on in here. In terms of tradition one, you know, and how this applies in my life. I want to say one more thing before I start going. It's like I found these really hard to kind of implement in my life until I really had a deep and effective experience in the steps. to incorporate these traditions in my life whether it's work or romance relationship or in my home group I had to surrender the need to be right I hadto surrender theneed to be powerful and I hadtosurrender the needto be effective and often when I talk about that I talkabout that in terms of six and seven but for me those are the prerequisites for incorporating these traditions you know if I know not in this spiritually advanced group but if you've come here today like as an a policeman or a police woman like trying to you know get the real goods on your group so you can go back and fix them or you know go to this other group that you went to that is really definitely doing it wrong and you want to correct them I think you might be disappointed you know for me this idea of unity, and we talk a lot about fellowship in here, but for me it's much deeper than that. What I've had to experience in Alcoholics Anonymous is really a kinship. You know, I have to have this, and Bill talks the analogy of, you know, having the shared experience of a ship liner that is wrecked, you know, but after you're brought to safety, that kind of dissipates, But what we need to have in here can't dissipate. It has to go much longer. And if I haven't worked the steps and had this experience, it's going to be very tough for me to be unified because I'm going to feel resentment and full of guilt, shame, and remorse and all the other things. And so for me, those were three big requirements. How I've incorporated this in my family life, and I've also incorporated it in my business life, I started a number of businesses that range from absolute failures to just mediocre, kind of like stumbled along. And then I started business with really these 12 traditions in mind and we were going to – I was going to do my best to incorporate them in our daily practices and that business thrived tremendously. And in terms of unity, it became what was the good of the business, not what was the good of the business owner. In my family, it seems so obvious, but every time that I work with a lot of guys and I've had this experience as well, but when a leader of the family, whether it be the husband or the wife, right? You both trade off those or the two wives or the two husbands, whatever. There's no statement there. The two partners that are leading this family, when one of them does not put the group first, the family unit first, it almost always eventually fails unless there's some course correction halfway through. And that was the case in my life. Not many of you have heard my story, but I had a really tough second surrender in recovery at 18 years, just full of self-rule run riot and put myself first in so many areas of my life that it just infected all the other areas. And you know, we crashed and burned collectively because of me, you know? And that's really been just a lifeline for us is what's the good of the group, you know. And you know for a long time we were in this AA area like And many people didn't know my wife and I were married, you know, because we didn't go to meetings together. I had a job where I could go at noon and she went at night. And, you Know, we didn' t really start doing AA things together until the kids were much older. But we've taken on this philosophy that, You know, our home is an AA home, right? That everything is God's. And I'm going to talk more about that later. but I have to put the family unit first because in my group, I can't be separated from the herd and in the family union, I can'T be separated from the heard. When you hear about people with some time going back out or crashing and burning their lives, it's because they've been separated from their herd whether by ego or guilt or shame and really for me, there's nothing more satisfying now and I didn't know it but then being transparent with my brothers and sisters, you know. I mean, as Bill says later in the traditions, we are brothers in our defects. We are not here as a collective group of saints. Thanks. I am not a saint. Yeah, so I love Tradition One, and I think one of the stories that I love to tell about Tradition one when this kind of really hit me, right, and I really understood what this was trying to tell me. When my sweet husband and I were dating, my husband's like very smart. Like he's very smart, right? Like he watches Jeopardy and like knows the answers or knows the questions, I guess, whatever, right. Like I'm like, I'm your girl when it's like anything medical or Harry Potter. Like yes, let's go, you know. That's my strong suit, I'll wear. But so we were watching JeopardY together one day when we were still dating and he, like this answer came up and I, like, knew it. Like, it was a random, like whatever, and I just, like knew it And so he said, like what is whatever? And I was like, nope, it's what is whatever And I ended up being right So I was just, as the adult I was, like Stick your head in doodoo, right? Booyah, I'm so smart And he just looks at me after I'm, like you know, clearly winning And he just looks me and he goes, Shannon, why can't we be on the same team. And that thought had never crossed my mind. Had never crossed my mind, right? In my relationship, in my immediate family, in AA, with my sponsors, with the women that I sponsored, like, that had never crossed my mine, that we potentially were on the same team. That changed this for me, right, that changed this for me. In AA, I like to think that we're all on the same team i think we have different ways of going about it right i've heard heard different stories of like yeah we're all like a bicycle wheel and and we come from these different spokes but we're all going to the same center right like yeah that's great we're al we're on the same wheel though right like i think that's the important part for me to remember um because i don't know if you're like me but i disagree sometimes with people right i'd been in a group conscious meeting with her it's true it's truly at times and that's okay right like we need that in Alcoholics Anonymous we all have different perspectives and they all need to be heard we need all the voices at the table so that we can figure out what is the best way forward right how the best way to deal with something is bringing God into this situation right but like what I have to remember is that that we're all on the same team we all love AlcoholicsAnonymous right I don't think any of us would be here and spend as much time doing the work of a a if we didn't feel that way right and and so we all love it we all love Alcoholics Anonymous and I have to remind myself of that sometimes when I'm sitting in business meetings or or something like that and I just have internal feelings right which is totally fine I've also learned in this too like I can especially in business meetings right like my face can be very animated and I need to be mindful of that as well right because again we're all on the same team so if John says something that is absurd hypothetically of course of course you know and I go maybe that like sways ever rolled your eyes in a boot conscience but my husband calls me I roll that is my nickname thank you yes you can go ahead and just add that as a middle name last name company name whatever yeah so but but things like that right could potentially cause some disunity within within my group within my marriage within my work setting wherever it is that I might be right it causes that disunity which is not what this tradition really wants from me right it wants me to play well with others that doesn't mean that I'm a doormat right that doesn't mean that my opinion isn't heard it just means that potentially sometimes my opinion is wrong or it's not the best right we'll talk about tradition to where being the you know good is the enemy of the best right and so just being open to that but at the end of the day you guys are my people right like you're my team this is where I hear the message of Alcoholics Anonymous where I here God this is my spiritual connection is with you guys and it's so important for me to remember that my life literally depends on it right no pressure it's fine yeah I could talk about that for another eight hours but well we'll continue on so yeah I love I love the tradition I love tradition specifically so yeah the rest of these traditions will tell me how I can stay unified right because I'm not good at it yeah you ready jump in in tradition two yeah all right by the way i'm supposed to be the funny one you're supposed to be a smart one you can't be both i've got no place then you have a place um you're the tall one i'm the tall one thank you tradition two for our group purpose there is but one ultimate authority a loving god as he may express himself in the group conscience um our leaders are the trusted servant so that kind of you know has been I've seen kind of bastardized say well there's no leaders in a but that's not what it says there are leadership positions and alcoholics anonymous you know I've seen kind groups run amok and look there's no leadership which is whatever you know last person the room can lead the meeting or speak at the meeting I forgot the vernacular here in Tennessee and or You know, whatever it is. Or someone will open it up. Somebody will make coffee. And that's a very basic, you know, kind of description of that. But there are leaders in AA. And, you Know, in the 12 and 12, Bill goes on to really describe this very well. You know? That we're servants, not senators. And this is where it becomes important to know, as I said earlier, what my job description is, right? You know. After, you Now, assuming I'm a civil member of Alcoholics Anonymous and I've had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps you know I've got a job to do and even before that happens I've Got A Job To Do but um you know so what's the you know Bill says like I said there's we're servants not senators and he goes on further to describe the differences as a elder statesman or bleeding deacon and that's obvious what I want to be right like I do not want I do not want to be that guy when I open my mouth that people roll their eyes. You know, or that, oh, here, you know, old cranky John, you Know, saying how AA used to be when I was, you know, whatever, whatever. And, you know Bill goes on to really magnify this, really clarify this really well. He said there's four requirements for this elder statesman. And I'm going to point them out to you. The first one is that he has no resentment. So he's obviously worked the fourth step, right? Well, really the first one is that I guess that you could call that the first one. And then the second one is that he's okay with his reduced status. That sounds a lot like six and seven to me. And the third one is that he has experience working these twelve steps. And the other one is that he sees what his role is, you know, not that he can inventory what he wants to be and what he has been. My sponsor says this all the time, and I love it, you now, AA needs reluctant leaders, not someone that's... And not always the same leader, right? I mean, you knoW, that's, and we're going to talk a lot about this throughout the traditions, is this spirit of rotation. you know leadership can look different in every group you know it can just be the quiet guy at the end not saying a word just staying until the group is finished and make sure that church is locked up correctly and that the chairs are put away the way the church requires or whatever facility you're using it can be the speaker getter or whatever it may be but you know in this job description really in this second tradition is to stay the right size you know and that the highest rank you will ever get to in Alcoholics Anonymous is trusted servant. And that the group conscience is the one that has the final authority expressed through God in our group. Our old home group, which in Maryland I was a part of for 10 years, had a really great format. Shannon's group stole it from us. We're still waiting for our royalties. but I had this, what I thought was a really great idea in the group conscience and then the group discussed it and by the time the group was done discussing it they voted on it and I voted against it. And my sponsor's like, what the hell? This was your idea. And I was like, well, after hearing it I think it's a really bad idea. But like, you know, my job is to go along with it, right? I mean, the group has decided. And I gotta tell you, I have failed on this level Like, Alcoholics Anonymous has made some decisions about our literature that I have not agreed with. And for a couple of meetings, I was guilty of not participating with those, you know? And the first time, I thought it was funny. And the second time, we drove home and I really felt like, what is wrong with you, right? And, you now, I have to trust that God expressing himself through the collective group is a whole lot smarter than myself. So, I mean, it's only worked for, what's the number now? 80 something, eight years. I can't do my math in my head, but you know, so, and not just, you know picking up my marbles and leaving because the group decides something that I don't agree with, but spiritually staying present and still being a part of the group and a productive member of the group, you Know, it was one thing to like, you know, pout in the back corner, you Know, so tradition two for you. Thanks. I love pouting in the back corner. That's so fun. so yeah I love tradition too and certainly love what you spoke about as well right there's no real there's no AA police right and trust me I check the job boards frequently on AA.org and that has not been a position that has ever been available I would be really good at it I am happy to send you my resume but that is just not what we do in Alcoholics Anonymous right that's not to say that we don't have leaders and that we don't have a loose structure, right? We have all of those things. We have a general service structure, right, and we can make it as like adult and rigid as we want. You know, I choose not to. So yeah, however, God happens in those discussions is the goal, right, is that we are, the goal I think for this is that you're not alone and this is that we're discussing stuff as a group, right? So whether that's in my home group level, at my district level, at my area, whether it's at the General Service Conference where we're talking about big literature changes or even if it's at the dinner table of what are we going to do this weekend? Or what movie do you guys want to watch tonight? In my family, we take a vote. We discuss it and then we vote on it. And then we hear the voice of minority and all of those things. So there's four of you, right? So why don't you just two or two? Sometimes I get the tiebreaker vote. But it's also important too to go back to your point is like I know my place. i don't have to vote all the time either right like that's okay too especially if i'm in a position where i potentially think my vote may sway someone else's because it's not about me right it's Not about me um i am happy and content having an opinion but seeing what the group says instead that is totally fine with me totally fine um and and i think that took a long time for me to get you know um and i think uh my experience i'm i love general service and i've been involved in general service for for a really long time and if you don't know what that is i'm happy to talk to you about it um but but i've been privileged to serve you all right like serve your area like your groups and your districts and i've been able to do that for a few years now and it's been interesting I'll rotate out of being your delegate and prior to that I was alternate delegate prior to I was chair and I'm at this like very strange like last few months of this rotation and then I'm gonna be like a past delegate and like just hang out you know and I get skyrocketed back to like a group member where I get to be in charge again and it's gonna be great I'm so excited you know but but the thing is is that even though I'm this trusted serve it and you guys trust me which we got to talk about your judgment skills but you know like even though you guys have trusted me to represent you at these different levels that doesn't mean that that I don't listen that I shouldn't be listening to you all right you guys how I view it and what it talks about in our service manual is is that I'm here to serve you I'm responsible to you right that's how this kind of whole inverted triangle of Alcoholics synonymous words as a group member you are at the top of that you call the shots you tell us how to proceed right and then we delegate this responsibility to our GSRs or general service representatives to our DCMs to our delegates and into conference right that's how this works in a very simple way and hopefully in all of these discussions and what I can tell you too in these discussions if you've ever been to an area assembly we love to talk we love to talk sometimes about nothing and sometimes we repeat ourselves and it's beautiful right it's beautiful and what I can tell you is that when I was chairperson of the assembly there's you know like 200 people there right they're not all voting members or whatever but but it's a lot of people and you're up on this podium and you were like praying please don't mess this up and and as a chairperson I have no opinion my job is to run the meeting smoothly right that's my job and to make sure that we're going by the procedures that you guys told me you wanted to do that's it and and so for those two years I didn't have an opinion on anything and at first I was like like I wanted to like figure out ways how I could like insert how I felt so you guys knew you know and and throughout that process it was important became more and more important to me that like it's okay to not have an opinion sometimes and it's ok to watch the process and it was amazing to me when I would hear the things that happened at the microphone even if it was repeating something that was said eight times being able to see the faces which was not an experience that I had at the table right with my district but being able to see how the even sometimes the repetitiveness changed people's faces right like change their opinions change their viewpoints potentially change their vote so that we could find out what was best for alcoholics anonymous right and that was such a beautiful process to watch um of seeing the voice of minority come up and someone wanting to reconsider and as you know if you've been there you're sometimes it's like really please you know but seeing that in action seeing our you know 36 principles in action right our steps traditions and concepts all in action like that is is um it was remarkable to me and that's really when i was like oh it's okay for me not to have an opinion all the time like the group's got it without me. AA has gone on well before I was even alive, so I'm pretty sure that they've got it, you know? Like, I'm Pretty sure that as long as God's in charge, that's fine. We're fine. God's got It. God' s got it. And I love it when I've got a friend of mine who likes to, like, just freak out about all the things, and I'm like, yeah, that's crazy, right? Like it's okay, God's Got it. It's totally fine unless he doesn't have it, right? Like maybe he doesn't have it this time. And she like laughs and like realize, right? But but like God's always got it. God's Always bigger than than anything that I imagine unless he's not right. I'm just kidding. You know, like, God is at the forefront of this. And I may not always understand the rhyme or the reason or even agree with the outcome of the vote. But I can still support it because I know that God was in that process. Right? And I trust that God was in that process and I had the experience over the past two years of attending the general service conference in New York and seeing that in action right and I mean we're talking like I was in business meetings they would start sometimes as early as 630 in the morning and they would go the last our last night this past year we stopped at like 1 30 in the morning and I'm your get-fed breakfast lunch and dinner you don't leave the hotel like you're in meetings all the time right no pressure it's fine it's future of a a and what I can tell you is is that as a conference member I knew very very keen I was keenly aware that not everyone was going to agree with how with what came out of that conference what I tell you though is that God was present in all those discussions and and that we talked about it a lot we talked about in a lot right we talked about some things for five hours we talked about it a lot okay all of the voices were heard and again that's how we come up with what's best for Alcoholics Anonymous and and so even if people don't agree with it that is fine that is I'm proud of the work that we did at conference the past two years and and I know that we didn't work of Alcoholics Anonymous' and I knew that that's been done previously and I hope that that's continues to be done right is by inviting God and into the room again I didn't agree with everything that came out of conference but I'm gonna support it I took part in those discussions and I'm going to support it because this was our informed group conscience right so so yeah it's not it's my job to it's necessarily my job too go against the group conscience right and I think I see that in Alcoholics Anonymous sometimes as you know and I saw this a lot after this year's conference too right was like people were some people were very upset with how things occurred and I would love to have that conversation with you right as your trusted servant I'm here to serve you so like let's have that conversatio,n let's have those tough conversations and I'll tell you exactly what my my thoughts and feelings were and that's hopefully what I did in the post-conference reports right? And let's talk about it. I love this idea, too, of the elder statesman and bleeding deacon. I hope to God that I don't hemorrhage out on everyone, you know? I know there was a time in my sobriety where I certainly did that, right? But I hope, I truly hope that what you read about the four things to be an elder statesmen, that's like goals right there for me. all goals, right? Because that also means that I've got to put my ego away. I've gotta put my pride away. God can hold on to that. He's big enough, right. So hopefully I can shed all of that to hear what you all have to say. To hear what God has to say and then I always have to say this too whenever I talk about tradition too so whenever you're in AA trivia this always comes up so I'm just gonna spoil this for you forever, right it's always asked What is the tradition that's shorter in the long form than it is in the short form? It's always Tradition II, okay? So you guys can take that with you. If you learn nothing today, AA Trivia, you'll get it right every time, Tradition III, okay. The longer form is shorter. I don't know why. Probably just Bill being like, are you paying attention? So yeah, so I think that's all for Tradition. I could talk about it longer, but I won't. We have five minutes. You want to start on three? Yeah, you want to? Go ahead. Okay, great. Yeah, I love it. um so tradition three the only requirement for aa membership is a desire to stop drinking that's all that's required of me i feel like i hear this tradition talked about a lot sometimes as a way to keep people out of alcoholics anonymous right but what i hear when i actually read the essay that accompanies it is how can we get as many people in alcoholics anonymous as we can right we are a fellowship that needs to continue to grow right like we all sit around and hear the same stories all the time like i'm good i've i've heard you know my home group members i saw you i saw that look right there you said what it's wild um no but you know like we need we need to continue to grow we need new people we need new blood i need people to work with right um that's how i continue to grow and and be of service to everyone so um so yeah i think this this tradition how i read it is let's get as many people that that have a desire to stop drinking in in the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous, this is the one thing that we can do like pretty okay. You know what I mean? I have lots of ideas of how I can do things but that doesn't mean that they're right. So yeah, so I love this idea that really whatever the individual says is if you're a member, if you say you are and that's a beautiful thing. I don't have to like do some weird initiation or be able to do like 10 cartwheels or get a secret handshake, get a little membership card. None of that, right? Like at one of my first home groups, I remember they came and they talked about how I had to like write my name if I wanted to be a home group member, right. And the only reason what I learned later was the only why we did that was so that we could talk to you about when our business meetings were and that we can introduce ourselves to you and invite you to the meeting after the meeting or the meeting before the meeting, right, that was the, we never looked at that. We never looked it that, you know, it was just so we can have that conversation with you. That was it, that was it. So yeah, so I think this can certainly, we talk about this a lot with like singleness of purpose and I'm in full agreement that when I'm the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous I am just a member of Alcoholic Anonymous, right? I am nothing else, I am not a professional in any sense of the word. I mean baseline I'm not but I'm a professional, I'm no a mom, I'm this, that or the other things, right. none of that matters. None of that matter. What matters is that you guys have a solution to alcoholism that I could not be more starving for, right? Could not need to hear more. So that's really the only thing that matters in Alcoholics Anonymous is that suffer from the same ailments that I do and hopefully we have a solutions, right, again goals. Yeah, yeah. Thank you. Thank you.