The 12 Traditions and Primary Purpose – Workshop – Part 5 of 8 – 12 Traditions Workshop

My name is Ian. I'm an alcoholic. Hi, Ian. I want to thank Rob for the seltzer. It really means a lot to me. I really like seltzers. It's kind of one of those things, though, when you speak and you drink seltzers, you get that, like, seltze burp. It's hard to project sometimes. God bless them. Some are sicker than others. So we're doing the traditions here, and for those of you who weren't here last week, we've talked a little bit about the history of the traditions and this idea of Bill saw a whole bunch of mistakes. I don't know if necessarily mistakes, but schisms that started to break other groups similar to Alcoholics Anonymous apart, and he was looking at their history. and what happened was some things were drawn to his attention and he started to put these traditions together and it wasn't widely adopted by the Fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous everyone wasn't thrilled to have a set of rules or a set OF guidelines to go by but through the years they eventually were adopted by the fellowship right around 1950 at one of the AA conventions there, one of The World Conventions. And we looked at the first two traditions last week and the first tradition is about our common welfare and basically this idea of anything I really do to separate myself from you starts to put me at a schism with the first condition. And the first prediction says our common wealth should come first. Personal recovery depends upon AA unity. And the best example I can give you quickly is when I was a year and a half, two years sober, and I would sit down with the guys I sponsored, and we would all introduce ourselves as recovered alcoholics and then share and say, you know, my name's Ian. I'm a recovered alcoholic. What happened is everyone in the fellowship, their ears snapped shut. So for me it was really important to get rid of all the grateful alcoholic, get rid OF the alcoholic addict, get rid Of the recovering alcoholic, get rid of the recovered alcoholic stuff and just become an alcoholic just like all of you because that's the one thing whether I'm recovering or recovered or grateful or fucking silly whatever else it may be it doesn't matter just to really be a small part of the great whole is the idea of that first tradition the second tradition is the group conscience it talks about when he comes of age it says harder still to accept now proven the fact that the group conscience or that the conscience of the group when properly informed of the facts and issues and principles involved is often wiser than any leader self-appointed or not. The second tradition says what's the second tradition say? For our group purpose there is but one ultimate authority a loving God as he may express himself in our group conscience Our leaders are with trusted servants. They don't govern. And the idea is we come together as a group properly informed about the facts, issues, and principles to make decisions for the common welfare. When we have one person kind of leading and running the show, it seems to fall apart. The Washingtonians were a group that got really wrapped up around charismatic speakers. And what happened was everyone started to rely on these charismatic speakers. You know, and there's people in Alcoholics Anonymous who are circuit speakers and speak all over the country, and people get really enwrapped by them. But then as soon as they do something that is in line with what they're saying, everyone starts to point the finger, and everything falls apart. And I was kind of talking to a friend right before this about, you know, this anniversary party and, and some stuff where like, you know, people have, you know, put people on a pedestal and it happens. It's not necessarily the best of ideas. And what happens is that in a group conscience is not informed. And when my conscience tries to control everything, like I could be delusional. And the problem is if everyone thinks that I have something important to say, you may listen to my delusion and then we're all going to be in a state of delusion. So that's kind of the idea with the first two traditions. I don't know how many traditions we're going to talk about tonight. I was thinking 3, 4, 5, 6, and 7. And we're reading the long form. I don'T know if you guys got your 12 and 12s. If you've got big books, the long forms in the back of the big book somewhere in the appendix. What is it? 563. You know, the third tradition It says our membership The long form It says Our membership ought to include All who suffer from alcoholism Hence we may refuse None to wish to recover Nor ought a membership Ever depend upon money Or conformity Any two or three alcoholics Gathered together for sobriety May call themselves in a group Provided that they have As a group They have no other affiliation So all who suffer from alcoholism you know we're not in a uh someone says uh i don't say i'm an alcoholic and i'm addict because it's like saying i'm idiot and stupid in the same sentence you know if we really need to look at like what is what is alcoholism i think in the best way I can describe this is, you know, our group, Burlington Young People, we read the blue card. And when we share, we ask that all who participate can find their discussion to the problems with alcohol. And we're going to talk about it a little later, but this idea of doing one thing right versus many things half-assed comes in play in this tradition. It used to say that you had to have an honest desire to stop, but they thought that was too harsh, so they got rid of that. And now you just have to have a desire to stop. And the way I kind of explain this is like, what does that mean? A desire to start because every once in a while you hear somebody say my name, so and so I'm an addict and I have a desire. Stop drinking or I'm so-and-so and I've a desire to stop drinking or whatever it may be. But like what, what is this like desire about and for me and mind you, like this is not as Ian sees it. This is like my opinion. Look for the information on your own, have your own opinion. Look for the spirit of the message. And for me it's important to look at the idea of, like say I drink, say I eat sand, alright? Like I have this chronic problem where I eat a lot of sand and it really can get out of control sometimes, you know? Like I go down to the beach, like I'm down in North Beach, and I just take little kids toys and start shoveling sand in my mouth and everyone looks at me like I'm crazy and the problem is it's really embarrassing and it causes me a lot of guilt and it caused me a whole lot of shame and even worse as I eat this sand it starts to hurt my stomach and it dries my mouth and it drives my throat and it really causes some significant problems but I did find a little bit of hope through this program called SA, Sand Eaters Anonymous. In Sand Eatters Anonymous, they have a program of 12 steps where I can recover from eating sand. Now, a lot of you are laughing, and I'm assuming probably because you don't eat sand. But the third tradition in SA is the only requirement for membership is the desire to stop eating sand So my question is how many of you would meet that requirement for mentorship? So how many of you, I would ask, have a desire to stop eating sand? And probably some of you are thinking, well, yeah, I'd probably do that. But then my next question is, so you're eating sand too? Because for me, I can only have a desire to start doing something if I do it. This idea of like, I have a desire to stopped drinking but I don't drink alcohol. Like I can't have a desired to stop drinking if I don' t do it in the first place. But, assuming I drink alcohol I'm welcome in Alcoholics Anonymous And it doesn't matter if I'm a drug addict It doesn't mater if I eat sand It doesn' t matter if pick my nose and eat my boogers It doesn''t matter like if I've robbed banks It doesn ''t matter whatever else I may have done As long as I drink and I want to stop And the reason I bring this up is I worked in treatment for a while and there's a difference between in my belief there's a difference between being a drug addict and an alcoholic and it doesn't mean that drug addicts are not powerless over alcohol because I know a lot of those people who as soon as they have one or two drinks they go right to the dope and start getting high and it's a very big difference than being alcoholic The alcoholism is that three-part illness that we talk about, the physical craving, mental obsession, and the spiritual malady. My sponsor's belief is that when we talk About Alcohol, we're really talking about the spiritual Malady. So when we say all who suffer from alcoholism, we're talking about anyone who suffers from the spiritual Mality, that emptiness inside that's killing us, that third part or one of those pieces of that first step. And the only thing I rebuttal on that is like when we get sober, well, I don't know about you guys, but when I got sober, I didn't walk into AA and say, man, I'm so empty on the inside. You know, like I wasn't, I Didn't have a clue that my problem was this emptiness inside of me. I had a clue that the drinking was a problem and I had to go with it. The drugs were a problem too. And then I showed up in AA and I hung around for a little while and I realized that the other stuff was really making me feel better and it was the emptiness was my real problem. And I think for me it's really important about getting the people in and helping them to see the truth than talking about these other pieces of illness, it's my opinion. In the third tradition, in the 12 and 12, it says you're an AA member if you say so. You can declare yourself in, nobody can keep you out, no matter who you are, no matter how long you've gone, no matter what you've done, no matter however grave your emotional complications. See, even Andrew can be here. We still can't deny you an AA. We don't want to keep you out. And the idea is we don't wanna keep people out. We want to be inclusive, but at the same time we are slightly exclusive with the idea of we need to have a drinking problem to be here, It doesn't mean that people can't come for strength and guidance and inspiration. It doesn'T mean that these principles aren't our God-given right and that everyone should be allowed to practice these principles and to be shown these principles. And I've shown these principals to people who are not alcoholics, as I know other people I sponsor do, and I think that's important, and I encourage those people to come to our home group Sunday and Tuesday to hear about this stuff and to hear About the Great Gifts That Can Happen in Sobriety. but it doesn't necessarily mean that we would ask them to share I would ask him to share from the podium I know there was some controversy with a meeting couple weeks ago where they had someone speak at the podium and one of the first things out of her mouth she says I don't drink or do drugs never have I come because I have emotional problems and then as the story went so I was told I wasn't there Her therapist recommended her to go to AA. No one said, do you really need to be here? Everyone said, welcome, keep coming back. No one questioned anything. She stuck around for a little while and now believes she's allowed to share. And the dangerous part is if I got sober, and I don't know because I'm sober, I'm assuming, my assumption, we know what that means, but I'm assuming that if I Got Sober and someone was talking and saying, like, I don't even have a problem drinking. In fact, at BYP, God, when we were at the old place, we must have been... The meeting must have had been like six months old. This younger girl raised her hand at the end of the meeting and said, I don' t understand what you guys are... We were talking about the mental obsession. She says, I do' n't understand what you guy' s are talking about. I don�t know why you just don� t stop. I�m 18 or 19 years old. I never even had a drink. I don't understand why you guys just don't stop doing it. Okay, great, but if we have her at the podium and start to share her experience, that could be kind of dangerous for the new person. And I'm not so concerned with the person who's been around for a little while and who can identify. I'm more concerned with a guy who is brand new. Bill Wilson once said that the alcoholic and the drug addict are like cousins. and the way I can explain that is if my cousin was here you would think we were brothers you wouldn't know the difference you would thing we had the same mother we look very very similar he's 18 months older than me but when we get away the details we're not the same person we are different this tradition goes on to talk about that we believe that any two or three alcoholics gathered together for sobriety may call themselves a group, provided that as a group we have no other affiliation. Here our purpose is clear. When we, and we'll get into this later, it crosses into the sixth tradition, but when we start to affiliate ourselves with like other things and start to concern ourselves with all sorts of other business, we start to forget why we're here you know and i guarantee you all have experience with that of going to some meetings you know it's someone coming in and saying uh the chairperson starts off with does anyone have a problem staying away from a drink or living sober and the hands go right up and someone will say i don't want to drink but my boss blah blah blah and then we start talking about the person's boss and then halfway through the meeting that person gets up and leaves, doesn't come back, but the rest of the meeting we're talking about this person's boss. Next time that happens, I would encourage you to pay very close attention to who else is in that room because I've been in rooms where there are people who are shaken in the back who want to know how to not drink, yet all we're talk about is people's bosses and crummy days. You know, of course no one cares about that person enough to chase them and I'm not saying that like if you have a problem that is really going to cause you to drink that you shouldn't share about that. I think you should really get a sponsor and talk to your sponsor about that, but the idea is that we need to be clear of why we're here and what we're doing. All right, so Tradition 4. Tradition 5. Tradition for... It says with respect to its own affairs, each A group should be responsible to no other authority than its own conscience. So back to Tradition 2. But when its plans concern the welfare of neighboring groups, also those groups ought to be consulted. And no group, regional committee, or individual should ever take any action that might greatly affect AA as a whole without conferring with the trustees of the Alcoholic Foundation. On such issues, our common welfare is paramount. This tradition really basically gives us the right to do anything we want. So like in Tradition 3, we start talking about, we start to kind of like make this thing exclusive. And then in Tradation 4, we basically say you can do whatever you want. It says with respect to its own affairs, the group may make any decision or adopt any attitude which it likes. We have the right not to be wrong. We should be responsible to no other authority than our own conscience. So, I had a real difficulty at one point with groups that weren't interested in talking about the solution and what I believe to be the solution is the 12 steps. And I had a real issue with groups that weren't talking about that stuff. Why? Because I get tired of seeing people relapse over and over. I get tire of people believing that if they go to enough meetings and call their sponsor enough, that they won't drink. In my experience, that's just not true. But what this tradition gives us is the right to be wrong. And this tradition, on a personal level, it gives each of us the right to do whatever we want in AA, assuming we're not going to be harming other people. Now who's going around and determining whether we're harming other people or not? No one. It's really about my own personal willingness to pay consequences or not. And if I'm willing to pay the consequences, I can really do whatever I feel like. Kind of the same thing with the group. The group can talk about and do whatever it wishes. You know, if our group wanted to start paying speakers to come up and travel or giving them little gifts and trinkets we can do that. If our group decided that we don't want to read out of the big book anymore, we are going to start using The Women's Way Through the Twelve Steps printed by Hazleton, we have the right to do that. The funny thing is, is The Women'S Way Through the Twelve steps doesn't resemble the same principles well, slightly resembles the same principles that we're reading here. Like we read it talked about taking actions against other groups. And I'll probably get hell at some point for saying this and this is what I've been told I don't know how true this is I'm pretty certain that it's pretty true but there was a group we'll say down south somewhere that had an AA dance. And, you know, they had their flyers for the AA dance and everyone went and at the AA dance one of the girls who was attended was raped by numerous men. What happened was this became front page of the newspaper and it says the so-and-so group, we'll call it I don't know, we'll call it the Jamboree Group. The JambOREE Group rapes a girl at AA dance. Now this is where we injure AA as a whole. My mother knows no difference between the JAMBOREE GROUP and Burlington Young People. She would not have a clue. And those types of actions are completely inappropriate. And what AA's actual stance on that was we have no opinion, no comment, no opinion. Why? Because the group can do what it wants. I've also heard of other groups where the sponsor has the newcomer do his laundry. I know of groups where this sponsor who sponsors women sleeps with those women. There's groups I've heard of where they take the guys, the young new guys in sobriety in the back room and have women pleasure them because it helps them to relax so they can sit through the meeting. Yeah, right? I know some of you are like, we should adopt those principles. But the fact is, is like those groups have the right to do that. You know, as disgusting as that may be and has so far away from what we're trying to do, they have the rights to do it. They have the ability to do this. Just like our group has the right to talk about God-dependence through service to others. Our group has a right to read out of the big book and have CDs in the back that are not part of Alcoholics Anonymous. We give out those little trinkets that are non-part of Alcoholic Anonymous, and we have the right do that. Do I agree with all those things? No. But did the group conscience speak and want to do those things, yes. And that's the idea. The only people we are responsible to is our own group. On the spiritual world, though, when we start to do things that are really against what Alcoholics Anonymous is, the group starts to suffer. In Tradition 6, Tradition 7 really encompasses a lot of things and it talks about affiliation. And there's a couple meetings in Burlington. And first I want to say, because of Tradition 4, these groups have the right to do this. But one of them meets at a treatment center and the meeting's name is titled after the treatment center. So if you're new, like, do you really know the difference between going to the AA meeting or going to the treatment centre? When you go into that meeting, it doesn't really resemble what this group is trying to do. It resembles something very different. They throw candy at each other during the speaker. They cross-talk. It's okay to just, like, start commenting back and forth. You know, but they have the right to do those things, and they're allowed to do these things. Do I personally agree with it? No, I've got a ton of opinions. Does that mean my opinions are the end all of Alcoholics Anonymous? No, not even close. There's another group, you know, at our Sober Club that is named basically after that Sober club. It was the first meeting when the Sober Club opened up. It was The First Meeting that went in there. They took that name. They have the right to do that. And I remember when that club started, there was all sorts of different announcements like come support the so-and-so club for X, Y, and Z. We're having a dance. We're Having a Fundraiser. And then it became this big controversy. Well, that's non-AA. That's non?AA. really that group has the right to do those things you know like our group a lot of people support the actual recovery that we have um the district doesn't support it that's fine the district will support yard sales and the district Will support uh sober cruises that don't have anything to do with the 12 steps um but they don't support the acts of recovery And the district, as being a group, they're allowed to do those things. Do I agree with it? No, I think it's the most delusional thing they could do. But they're allowd to take those stances. You know, each group, like, really can do what it wants in Alcoholics Anonymous. And as scary as that may be, you know, we're doing stuff here at our group that I know people are not happy with and not thrilled with. I know that people believe that our group talks about God too much I know the people believe that the big book really should be tossed aside and we should be using other literature that's fine my experience tells me that we're doing something right and this gets into the 11th tradition without attraction rather than promotion and if what we're dealing with is attractive the group is going to grow and grow and grow um there's a meeting uh down south another meeting uh that does some weird things and what i've heard recently is that the group is getting smaller and smaller and smaller and because what they're doing isn't very attractive uh what they'RE doing is you know this other stuff like i mentioned before i heard of a group up in uh we'll say up north somewhere, who've recently decided that because of their 11th step, what they've decided to do is start drinking opium tea. I mean, I think that's fantastic. I know it'd probably be a bad idea if I did that. But this is the idea. There's a lot of craziness and Alcoholics Anonymous. And I partook in a lot of that craziness for a while. I bet if we were offering opium tea as our 11th step, we'd have a lot more people here. We're going to start with a little meditation. Everyone drink this. But you know what I mean? I partooked in some things like running around calling myself a recovered alcoholic and I paid those consequences because I tried to force my beliefs on AlcoholicsAnonymous on the people and I tried push a certain way of doing things and it wasn't attractive. And I suffer the consequences. And instead of in a meeting sharing my experience and saying things like me and my, I would say things like you and you and you need to do X, Y, and Z. And it's just not really attractive at all. So moving right along. Tradition five. And I was once told that one of the people who took me through these traditions said that they believe that this should be the first tradition. And part of me really agrees with that. First or second, I think, if I could rearrange the order. And it says, yeah, as Ian sees it, right? Each Alcoholics Anonymous group ought to be a spiritual entity having one primary purpose, that of carrying its message to the alcoholic who still suffers. Now, the key word, my belief, is it's, I-T-S, it's message. This goes back into the fourth tradition. Each group can do what it wants. Each group kan have whatever message it wants There's a lot of meetings that the message is share about your problem. We'll talk about that problem. Then go to a meeting later on tonight, share about it again. Our message is about God-dependence through service to others, using the big book for guidance and inspiration. I know the group The Firing Line, they have a message very, very similar to that about something like hope is available through the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous. You know, they talked about what their message is, they voted on what their messages are, like our group did. But you would think, well, about a year and a half ago I called the general service office and I said to them, part of me was being serious, part of me it was being a sarcastic asshole. And I said, what's the message to AA? And the guy said, excuse me? And I said, what is the message of a A? And he said, well, it's the 12 steps. I said that's what I believe, but where does it say that in A literature? He says, well what do you mean? I said well there's numerous places where it says carry this message. Like in the 12 and 12 or in the 12 step it says having had a spiritual awakening blah blah blah carry this messaged. On page 189 in chapter 7, it says something about carry this message, which is alluding to having this great experience. In the fifth tradition, it does carry its message. Nowhere does it say that the message of Alcoholics Anonymous is blank, you know, the 12 steps or service to others or God dependence. in the second edition of the big book and the third edition of the Big Book on the dust jacket in all my big books I end up getting one and taping it on there but it says pages 1 through 164 is the AA message it's the only place in AA literature that it says that now they've taken out saying that 1 through 160 is the AAA message and they've replaced it with modem to modem is equal than one-on-one sharing with an alcoholic I don't believe that to be true uh these are just my beliefs but some people believe like there are groups set up on the computer and their message is based on i am you know i am in chatting and that stuff facebooking and whatnot uh and that's that group's message is that like you can do that and you can recover from alcoholism that way i don't know if that's true it's not been my experience i'm sure that people do get sober that way and stay sober that way. Clearly there's a need for it. But we really have to look at what the message is, and I think on a personal level I have to be clear. What is my message? Am I in Alcoholics Anonymous to make a bunch of friends? Or am I here to help people get sober? And it doesn't mean I run around like I have and become this asshole and militant and try to tell people what to do. But it's really important that I share my experiences with love and I don't back down. And there's been numerous people who have said to me things like, you know, I would like your help and I've been watching you for X amount of months or years and you stay consistent and you say the same thing over and over and again. Because I'm not, you know what I always say, like I'm here in AA to make friends. I didn't knock on the doors of Alcoholics Anonymous and say, I'm dying. I need some friends. I was basically like, I'm lying. I need to not drink today. I need a new solution. I need not feel like I'm empty inside and I want to put a bullet in my head. And being consistent like a fellowship has grown up. In this group with Andrew and a bunch of other people, this group has just gotten bigger from people being consistent and saying the same things over and over again and carrying a message of God-dependence through service to others using the big book as guidance and inspiration. And the meeting gets bigger and bigger and bigger and better. In those PDF pamphlets that I had last week, and in the 12 and 12, the first line in the12and12, it says, the shoemaker this was sam shoemaker one of bill's friends he said better do one thing supreme supremely well than many badly that is the central theme of this tradition and when you think of like doctors you know like there's general practitioners you know who kind of do a little bit of this a little but then when there's like a big problem they like call in the specialist and or they send you to the specialist. And I've listened to a lot of different footsteps, and this goes back to the drug addict thing, and I've listened to allot of different footsteps and I can guarantee you that cocaine addicts will do things that alcoholics will never remember doing. You know and instead of a blackout it's like a white out, you know? And people are doing these things that they would never do in their right mind. And they remember they're doing it, and the whole time they're doing it they're like, why am I doing this? Why am Idoing this? But they can't seem to stop doing it. You know, we're black or we're alcoholics, we'll do things on the complete end of the spectrum, basically like pass out and fall in a bush. So there's like some differences, you know, and, you know, like with opiates, like I never liked opiats. I think they're gross, they make me itch and throw up not interested I like to sell them because I was like the only thing I could sell easily and not lose all my money you know but like when I help somebody I really encourage them to talk about their drinking because that's one thing that we have together That's one thing that we have that's equal. And then we talk about that spirituality, and that's another thing that we have equally. You know, and we try to keep it on the same page because clearly, like, for me, clearly the drugs are out of control. Clearly they're a problem. They're illegal. You know the things I got to do for drugs I never have to do to get booze, never have TO do to GET booze. So for me it's really important to be focused on, like what is my primary purpose and how am i going to uh carry this message um based on my primary purpose you know and uh and i really think more than this whole big book god dependence thing i think my message that i like to carry is that hope is absolutely available in alcoholics anonymous you know and that you don't have to be sick and suffering in sobriety you know because it's that sobriete piece uh that spiritual malady which is why we relapse you know and if drugs and alcohol were really the problem we would stop doing it you know but the problem is we stay sober for a period of time and the longer we stay silver the harder life is to deal with and we think if i could just get a little relief if i can just have one you know just one and get away with it no one will know you know then i have that one and then that starts me on another freaking bender and i'm off and running. It says our society has concluded that it has but one high mission to carry the message to those who don't know there's a way out. You know, so, and then on, this is like another level of this thing for me is like, if all I'm doing is going to these like solution-based meetings and listening to people talk about the things that I'm doing am i really carrying the message you know am i really being of maximum service you know like up here it's what do we got designed for living burlington young people in the firing line so if those are the only meetings i go to and i talk to a bunch of other people who are doing the same freaking thing that i'm doing uh am i carrying the messages to those who don't know there's a way out no i'm not so it's really important that i go to these other meetings that aren't necessarily doing what I'm doing. Because there has been a lot of people that I've had the opportunity to be able to take through the steps because I go and I sit through these other meeting and then I hear it all the time. People call me and they're not doing this right and they'RE NOT DOING THAT RIGHT. But whoa, whoa, Whoa! Go back to the fourth tradition. They have the right to do whatever they want. Go back the first tradition. you know our common welfare comes first you know my recovery depends on the unity of Alcoholics Anonymous you know and if I'm not willing to go to this circuit speaker talks about them being sorted places I wouldn't go that far but go to other meetings, the nooners the morning meetings if I am not willing to go there and share my experience like I may never be able to help a lot of people who don't necessarily know there is a way out usually not counting our Sunday meeting but usually when people walk into BYP or Design for Living they know there's a solution they know that it's there and that's why they're coming you know so I would encourage people to go out to these other places you know my sponsor talks about the principle of the seventh or the Sabbath not that like on sundays i need to not do anything um but like the principle of the sabbath was designed for one day to fill up you know and then for six days to be out giving and giving and giving you know what in my the way i do things is that tuesday is like my sabbuth you know i come to the tuesday meeting for me i listen to the speaker uh they share a great message and that fills me up. And then the rest of the meetings that I go to, I'm trying to give and trying to offer a solution to people, you know, coming early Sundays and instead of sitting in the back in my chair back there and talking to my buddies, which I do at times, you've all seen me do it, I try to be standing up and talking to people. Talking to new guys. Talking to people that I haven't seen here before or going over and sitting down next to a new guy that I haven't seen before and let them you know welcome them introduce myself talk to them a little bit and make them feel welcome you know and we get caught in this idea of like well I'm not going to be able to help anyone and what do I have to offer I've only been sober a week I've been sober for a few months or what am I going to do but I guarantee that if you just go say hi to somebody and ask them if they like the Red Sox they live up here they probably do it's an easy way in. Ask them if they want a cup of coffee, ask them if they're new, ask him if they've ever been here before. I just make them feel welcome. You know, because I remember what it was like when I walked into my first meeting and I remember carrying my skateboard. It was March 7th and I was walking up this hill to UVM and it was cold and it Was wet. And I was scared and the guy who was going to pick me up didn't because he went to meet a couple girls instead. And i walked up that hill and i was like i was terrified and then i got into this huge building at uvm campus and i didn't know where i was going and i didn't Know what to do and you know it was like my insides were just coming out of me um and i still get nervous when i go to meetings that i've never been to in other states you know because i don't know who's there i don' t know what they're talking about uh what am i going to say that's going to piss somebody off you know what i mean like what oh my god here we go again you know and it's like you know but like if someone if someone comes down and sits next to me and just says hey what's going what's you know what's going on are you new um and i've learned more often than not now to go up to somebody and sit next to that person say hey what'S going on my name's ian have you come here a lot you know and whether they've been sober 20 years and they go there every day or if they're brand new uh just try to put myself out there and shake some hands and be available and say hi to somebody it's really one of the best messages that we can have to offer you know because people see when the lights are on. You know, when Ebby came to see Bill and they didn't even have any words, Bill says there was something different about his eyes. He was inexplicably... It's two different sentences. Whatever. There was something different about his eye. Bright-eyed, starry, you know, the whole deal. And whenever I sit with people and we get to that part in the book, I say, have you ever noticed something different about Burlington young people? And every single one of them says, yeah. I said, there's like some sort of weird energy there. They're like, yeah. You know, it's like the room is alive and it's, like, electric. And it's extremely intimidating to some people, you know, because they're used to, like going to the nooner where no one talks to anyone and everyone looks at the floor until the meeting starts. You know? And that's really comfortable for people. And then you walk into here and everyone's like, blah, blah. You know what's going on? And it can really throw people off. You know, and that's why it's so important to just go make ourselves available and let people know that we're not a glum lot, you know, that we have recovered from this seemingly hopeless state of mind and body and that we are happy to be here and we are Happy to Help. And then this other line, it says, because it has now become plain enough that only a recovered alcoholic can do much for a sick alcoholic, a tremendous responsibility has descended upon us all. A tremendous responsibility has descended upon us all once we recover from alcoholism to be out sharing this message with others. So when I'm sitting in the corner talking to my buddy who's been through the steps with the same freaking guy, am I really carrying that message? An obligation so great that it amounts to a sacred trust for to our kind those who suffer from alcohol and recovery is a matter of life and death. So the Society of Alcoholics Anonymous cannot or dare not ever be diverted from its primary purpose. And the reason I say the things I say consistently over and over is because I'm crystal clear that this is life and depth for people. And the fact that I worked in treatment for three years and 80% of the people that I talked to in there would rather drink again before asking someone for help tells me that if I'm sitting talking to my buddy before the meeting, I'm not clear on my primary purpose. I forgot why I'm even here at these meetings. And if I'm still talking to my buddy, and we're talking about our day and how much our life sucks with our problems, like my job and whatever, my nice apartment is dirty, I've completely missed the whole music. And I've completed forgotten why I am here. And then I forget the fact that for me, this is absolutely life or death. And I'd be willing to wage the fact that it is for the rest of you, especially the ones who are hotter off a relapse than the others. A little closer to that memory about how bad things suck out there. But the problem with alcoholism is that the farther I get away from that drink, the more I start to think that maybe this isn't that big of a deal. Come to the meeting, kick back Sunday night, relax, put my feet up, talk to my buddies. Hey, how you doing, Woody? How was your weekend? Good to see you. you know um and i start to forget that there's people who are coming to this meeting and they're absolutely going to drink when they leave and worse that when they go home tonight they're going to lay in bed they're going to wish that they were dead and they'RE GOING TO WISH THAT THEY DIDN'T DO ALL THOSE THINGS THAT THEY DID LAST WEEK AND THE MONTH BEFORE AND THEY'RE GOINNA WISH TO DIE YOU KNOW SO WHAT DO I DO DO I WANT TO SIT AND TALK TO MY BUDDIES OR DO I want to do this like sacred trust thing that it just talks about um you know and when we think about it like the sacredness of that you know. And uh one of our speakers a couple weeks ago said that uh I can't hurt anyone if I'm just trying to be helpful. If I'm just trying share the things that were shared with me it's not possible to hurt anyone and that's been my experience. It's not possible to help anyone if i'm just trying to share the things that have been shared with me. What's the worst thing that's going to happen? The guy's going to go home and say, man, there's that one guy who was willing to help me but I'm all set. And that's my job is to let people know that I'm available. This delusional, bold idea that I have to wait for someone to come talk to me is absolutely ludicrous. You know, I think out all the guys that I've taken through the steps and women for that matter. I think maybe 10 of them actually asked me for help. Usually I offer to help them before they even have a chance because I want to be that one person that if they decide that this isn't their time to work their steps or this isn'T their time to be an Alcoholics Anonymous, that when they're out drinking and when they'Re out doing the things that they're doing, that they know that there's one person who is willing to help them. Because a lot of people that I've met in these rooms have not had anyone offer a solution. And they come in and out, and in and out, in and in out, their belief is that if they go to enough meetings, that emptiness inside of them is going to go away. And eventually they're going to get the miracle. Or they'll sober by osmosis and you ever stopped drinking by osmosis yeah go tell the guy who's got a needle in his arm you know and in the alley ask him if he's ever gotten sober by us Moses or the guy who can't stop visiting the whore doing the things that they're doing you know we don't get sober by Osmosis we don'T just wait for the miracle to happen and what needs to happen is like my 12 step uh needs to help someone on a first up you know or my first step started with somebody else's 12th step you know and if no one else is willing to do that 12th stop then there's a lot of people in this room we're never going to have a first step I think I beat that one to death Tradition 6 The long form of Tradition 6 It says problems of money, property and authority may easily divert us from our primary spiritual aim. So our spiritual aim like we just talked about is trying to pull people out from the depths of hell. We think, therefore, that any considerable property of genuine use to AA should be separately incorporated and managed, thus dividing the material from the spiritual. An AA group as such should never go into business. Secondary aids to AA, such as clubs or hospitals which require much property or administration ought to be incorporated and so set apart that, if necessary, they can be freely discarded by the groups. Hence, such facilities ought not to use the AA name. Their management should be the sole responsibility of those people who financially support them. For clubs, AA managers are usually preferred. The hospitals, as well as their places of recuperation, ought to be well outside AA and medically supervised. While an AA group may cooperate with anyone, such cooperation ought never to go so far as affiliation or endorsement, actual or implied. An AA group can bind itself to no one. That doesn't mean we can't back to Tradition 4 if we want to. And I'll say the first thing that this group does, you know back on our cd table we have that little sign that says uh you know cds can be downloaded for free into action.org the interaction.org website has nothing to do with alcoholics anonymous and it's crystal clear when you log on to it onto the home page but it provides you know speaker cds and different event things that are happening that are in line with what this group is doing so we affiliate ourselves by having that little design we affiliate ourselves with the interaction website all right when you walk on to the different meetings at the interaction website our meeting is also hosted on there um that is affiliation this is saying we shouldn't do that um we can really back to tradition forward do whatever we want is it going to harm anyone is it going to distract us from our primary spiritual aim of helping others in that situation i would uh throw out the idea that it doesn't distract us it enhances our primary spirituality and which is to help others and to be a service i know whenever i travel first place i go looking for a meeting is the interaction website uh to see what other meetings are like-minded doing what we're doing where i maybe can pop in see some people who are on the same page if not then i look elsewhere and i know that other people will do the same eventually coming up here for that on a personal level when i get all caught up with money property and prestige right when i'm worried about paying my bills when i'M WORRIED ABOUT MY WORK PROBLEMS WHEN I'M WORRY ABOUT MY GIRLFRIEND NOT DOING WHAT I THINK SHE SHOULD DO WHEN IM WORRIEED ABOUT UM MY CAR MY FINANCES UH MY ROOMMATE all this stuff, I become diverted from my aim of helping people. Why? Because when I'm thinking about me, back to what we talked about 60 to 63 tonight, when all I can think about is me, I'm not able to think about you. And the problem, the root of my troubles, the root OF this selfishness and self-centeredness, the root Of this spiritual malady is that I'm the only person I ever think about. So when I'm caught up thinking about all these things that I need to do and all these thing that I have to do, and all of these things I need accomplished, I'm not able to be of service to anyone else. And I know there's a bunch of people in here who have that experience and understand what I'm talking about. When I'm called up with the girlfriend, that's a good one, right guys? Or girls. When I am caught up with my boyfriend, we forget about what our real job is and what our purpose is. or when I'm at work 70 hours a week because I got to pay the bills. And, I mean, yeah, I just got sober and I've been in debt for 15 years, but I've Been Sober Now for Two Months and I Got to Pay It All Off Today. You know what I mean? I get completely diverted by the reality of things. The fact is I've bee accumulating debt for years. Just because I'm sober for a few months or a few years doesn't mean I'm going to pay that all back right now. And then we get diverted and we're off and running on some tangent doing some thing over here and then we wonder why we drink again because we get completely diverted from where we're supposed to be. Those two meetings that I talked about before, the one with the treatment center and the one at the sober club, they affiliate themselves with these other entities. Whether it's good or bad, I don't know. Yeah, whether it's good or not, I'm not sure. Whether it is good or good, I do not know. I don' t know if I necessarily have an opinion on it. I would encourage that my group would not do those things. I know that we're, God, wait, 2005 or 2006, NRASA, which is the Northeast Regional Service Assembly, so it's like all about the traditions and service work, was in Burlington, and we were putting that on, and we Were getting coffee from this company, and they wanted us to have coffee provided by Green Mountain Coffee or something like that. So what does that do? That affiliates us with Green Mountain coffee. I remember being at the first Necky Pie I was ever at. They had Starbucks coffee, and they were advertising that the coffee was provided by Starbucks. It was a hotel thing. It wasn't like the conference did it. And there was a guy. Man, I was only a few months sober, and this guy who was even a less amount of time, And he said, man, does AA have some deal with Starbucks going on? And I thought for a second, I don't know. Maybe it does. You know, and then I asked my buddy, and he's like, no, we have nothing to do with anything else. And that was the best he could explain it. But we don't want to merge with these other companies, and we want to stay out of that. Because, I mean, if anyone's been at a group conscience where they're talking about money, you know, we forget. I mean we got all wound up. me and woody headed out uh over those stupid banners with the steps because he wants to order him from the recovery emporium i'm like no we need to recover we need the order room from alcoholics anonymous uh getting the group conscience i'mlike what did i say woody shut your mouth uh i don't want to hear about that anymore you know because it's like we get heated you know we get heat it and we and and in that conversation like the fact the fact is that in that conversation, I completely forgot about what the group's primary spiritual aim was, which was helping others. And did the freaking little signs, the window shades with the steps and traditions really make a big difference? If we're doing what we're going, we don't need any literature because we're out there talking to the people and we're dealing that one-on-one carrying the message to the other alcoholic if we're doing our job. So we really don't need the freaking window shades. Whatever, it would be nice. I mean, they would kind of fit up here nicely. And then real quick, and I'll wrap it up with this one. Tradition 7, and this is like the one tradition that people are somewhat familiar with. It says, The AA groups themselves ought to be fully supported by their voluntary contributions of their own members. We think that each group should soon achieve this ideal that any public solicitation of funds using the name of Alcoholics Anonymous is highly dangerous whether by groups, clubs, hospitals or other outside agencies that acceptance of large gifts from any source or of contributions carrying any obligation, whatever is unwise. Then too, we view that much concern those AA treasuries which continue beyond prudent reserve to accumulate funds for no stated AA purpose. Experience has often warned us that nothing can so surely destroy our spiritual heritage as futile disputes over property, money and authority. so I think the coolest thing about that is it talks about we always say we pass the basket in support of our 7th tradition no dues or fees we're self-supporting by our own contributions what this is suggesting is that each group Burlington Young People should be supported by the group members voluntary contributions that doesn't mean we should pass a basket and letting all the people attending the meeting contribute It means the group members themselves should pay for the things at the group. So what are our expenses that our group has? Coffee, CDs, pamphlets, a freaking gazillion big books that we go through. Rent. Rent. Oh yeah, don't want to forget that one. But what has happened is that this tradition has, you know, the spirit, right? I talked about looking for the spirit of the message. The spirit of this tradition is changed and now we pass the basket for voluntary contributions. I've watched groups get really, I don't want to say sick, but something similar to that. I've seen groups fall apart around this. And what happens is, down at our sober club, the rent is $15 a meeting. There's a lot of meetings in there that don't make $15. So what happens is you have a meeting that is not supporting itself continue to run. Well, there's no need to be there or they would have the money. The voluntary contributions would be there. People would be excited to be there, they would give them money. There's another group that has this very, very big event in Burlington. I don't know what group it is. But this group has a very, very big thing and a group itself does not, when they pass their basket, they can't support the rent and their expenses for the meeting. The group, for years, has been falling apart. It's been dying. It used to be a huge meeting. It's not anymore. It really is washing away. But the group, once a year, has this big event that probably 40% of the people on that event are not part of the fellowship and buy tickets. The event does not have a meeting, so it's supported by our district, but there's no meeting or whatever. and that event supports this group's existence. Now, I don't know, but it seems like there's some sort of spiritual significance with this idea of the group is collecting all sorts of money that doesn't necessarily belong to them because it's not being hosted by its own members. There was a group up at the rehab, the winger group, fell apart. You know, like really fell apart And then the firing line was able to come in and support a new meeting. And this is what, in my belief, needs to happen. If it's not fulfilling its purpose, it needs to go away. The meeting needs to die. We need a new meaning in there. The only measuring stick we have at Alcoholics Anonymous is money. And it's our seventh tradition. And if there is a need, the money will be there. The need for everything we're doing here at Burlington Young People, the money is always there. Our finances are just fine. We're able to provide CDs. We're able to provide plenty of big books. We give them away to people for free. But this meeting had this, the only, they had three meetings, Sunday, Saturday, Wednesday. Saturday was having one or two people show up. And mind you, there's 40 people in the detox, 39 people in The Detox, or in the treatment center. And then two people from the outside would come on and put on a double speaker meeting. That doesn't, I don't know how that works. At some points, they would have clients speak at some points. Then Wednesdays, they'd have a 12-in-12 meeting with one or two people showing up from the outside. So they would read the 12-In-12, and then they would open up for discussion for everyone in the treatment center to share their thoughts and opinions about the steps that they haven't worked and probably won't work. If I was to do this step, this is what it would look like, and then They Share. And what happened was eventually it got to the point where some people said, like, this isn't working. There's no money. We're not able to pay the rent. We're here. We're sucking from the fellowship. We're nicht donating to the district. We want to be in the meeting list, but we don't want to give any money to the District. We don't wants to pay for it. We just want it to be on the meeting lists, things like that. The group was eventually able to go away. The firing line started Saturday night. Instead of two people showing up, they got 25 people showing up Wednesday night. Same thing, instead of one or two people showing up, 15 to 25 people are showing up with a purpose. They're trying to go in there, carry the message. They're tying to be a service. They're tyring to make themselves available to people if they want sponsors. And it's all because of the basis of this idea of if there's a need. I know I'm over. The way I'll describe this, and this will be it, is a plant. If I have a plant at my house and the plant is dead, I'm not going to keep it in the window cell and continue to water it and say this was a wonderful plant once at one time this plant let me tell you Glenn this plant was beautiful it had these beautiful flowers and these big green leaves it died a couple years ago but I still like to water just in case I want to leave the pot there for some reason those weeds go away and it grows no, I throw the plant away I put a new plant in the windows and let that plant thrive until it's time to get rid of that plant and put another plant in a window And that's the idea. If we continue to hear people say it all the time, so-and-so meeting needs support. No, they don't need support. And maybe that sounds cold and callous, but no, the meeting needs to go away. It needs to die so a new group can come in that time slot and hopefully revive things and go back to that primary purpose and carry that message to the alcoholic who's sick and suffering. Because if no one wants to go, the meeting is obviously not fulfilling a need. All right. I'm done. Thanks. Thanks for listening.