The 10th Step Awareness of Being Uncomfortable – Alice M.

About This Speaker Tape

October 14, 2013. Swigging from a bottle while packing bags for detox, Alice M. realized she didn't know how to have a last drink. She had spent years treating Chardonnay as air and shelter, convinced that journaling and sheer willpower were the only tools available. The turning point came in a detox room with a random cat sitting on the bed—a sign that cracked her open to the possibility of a Higher Power.

Alice describes the shift from the "round piece of plastic" that the spiritual solution once looked like to a lifeline she finally grasped. She recounts a vivid experience of beams of light on a brick wall and a ceiling, marking the start of a rock-solid faith. Now, she navigates life through a 10th Step awareness of her own discomfort, viewing it as a signal of selfishness or fear. Rather than seeking comfort in "blankies" and TV, she finds relief by giving comfort to others, turning her chronic physical pain into a platform for availability.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Alice M. opens by discussing the 12 and 12 and her resistance to prayer.
• 3:45 Laughter: Alice M. shares the 'Chardonnay is necessary' journal entries from her drinking days.
• 7:20 Alice M. describes the moment of surrender and the cat on the bed in detox.
• 11:15 The 'bright light' experience in her car and the realization that the obsession had lifted.
• 16:30 Step 11: Alice M. explains her nightly review and how she avoids self-pity.
• 21:00 Alice M. discusses living with chronic pain and using it as a platform to be helpful.
• 25:40 The discovery of childhood poems about a Higher Power found by her mother.
• 31:10 Discussion on the difference between seeking comfort and giving comfort.
• 36:45 Q&A: Alice M. discusses the importance of sitting with First Step pain.
• 42:10 Q&A: Alice M. explains how she handles 'dryness' in recovery by helping strangers.