Surrendering the Need for a Perfect Answer – Mary R.

About This Speaker Tape

21st Annual Southeast Texas Area General Service Conference - 1983

A road show at sixteen introduced Mary R. to slow gin sparking a lifelong pattern of acting—both on screen and in her personal life. She navigated the nightclubs of San Francisco and the USO tours of WWII where she once punched a captain in the ear during a drunken haze in Germany. After a marriage to a compulsive gambler that devolved into a cycle of 'drinking money' and 'gambling money,' Mary hit a bottom of total degradation including suicide attempts and a period of homicidal rage toward her ex-husband. She describes a transition from a 'compulsive housekeeper' cleaning keyholes with Q-tips to a woman who found a Higher Power through a sponsor who demanded she bathe and be honest. Despite the financial wreckage of a restaurant and a period of cleaning toilets in a hospital kitchen she found a dignity in sobriety that allowed her to witness her sons' football successes and navigate the agony of her daughter's addiction with Al-Anon tools.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Mary R. opens with gratitude to the committee and mentions her sobriety date of March 29, 1961.
• 4:15 Recounts her early days in show business and the introduction to 'slow gin'.
• 12:30 Describes her time as a USO girl in WWII and the incident in the Himalayas.
• 18:45 Laughter: The story of punching a captain in the ear in Germany and the subsequent failed identification at the hearing.
• 26:10 Discusses her marriage to a compulsive gambler and the 'geographic cure' to Southern California.
• 31:20 Describes the 'insanity' of becoming a compulsive housekeeper, cleaning keyholes and appliance lettering.
• 38:50 The bottom: describing the 'total degradation' and the look in the eyes of children leaving a Catholic church.
• 45:10 The turning point: calling the North Hollywood Clubhouse and the first meeting in Chatsworth.
• 52:30 Mentions her first sponsor and the requirement to be strictly honest and bathe before meetings.
• 58:15 Discusses the homicidal anger toward her ex-husband and the advice to 'pray for the son of a bitch'.
• 1:05:20 Reflects on the 'poverty period' cleaning toilets in a hospital kitchen and the shift in her values.
• 1:15:40 Discusses her daughter's addiction, the use of Al-Anon, and the eventual peace found through prayer.