Steps 4 and 5 – Big Book Workshop 2019 – Part 2 of 6 – 2019 – Katie C.

About This Speaker Tape

Big Book Workshop 2019 - 2019

A Saturday afternoon session in Austin where Charlie P. and Katie P. dismantle the mechanics of the Fourth Step. Charlie opens with the 'technical approach'—a story of 14 men who followed the Big Book's actions literally resulting in 13 surviving sobriety. He pivots to the 'manifestations of self,' using the image of a trained birdwatcher to explain how to spot selfishness in the wild. He admits to 'story stealing' and the habit of 'having his hand up' while others speak. The conversation shifts to the 'sick man exercise,' where Charlie recounts a man who spent 40 years hating his father for a cold delivery of news about a suicide only to realize through the Fourth Column that his father was a broken man doing his best. Katie then takes over to dissect the 'corroding thread' of fear and the complexities of the sex inventory warning against the 'dicey area' of making amends for old infidelities.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Charlie opens with a story about a technical approach to the Big Book and the lineage of sponsorship.
• 4:15 Discussion on the Fourth Step and the 'manifestations of self' as the primary problem.
• 8:20 Laughter: Charlie describes 'story stealing' and his own blindness to his selfishness.
• 14:10 Charlie explains the 'A to B' trajectory of relationships and how self-centeredness drives the cycle.
• 20:30 The 'sick man exercise' and the story of Roy and his father's cold announcement of his mother's suicide.
• 27:45 Charlie discusses the 'demonstration' of tolerance and patience, using a story about his sister shrinking his clothes in the dryer.
• 33:10 Katie P. takes over to discuss the 'corroding thread' of fear and the impact of her husband's death.
• 41:20 Katie's breakdown of the four-column fear inventory and the danger of self-reliance.
• 48:15 Detailed guidance on the sex inventory and the 'dicey area' of making amends for infidelity.
• 55:30 Closing thoughts on the importance of working with others to resolve sexual and relationship turmoil.