Steps 10 and 12 – Part 11 – Mark H. – FOTSNY – 2001

About This Speaker Tape

Mark and Dave dismantle the mechanics of the later steps, moving from the wreckage of the ninth to the daily maintenance of the tenth and eleventh. Mark recounts the grueling process of making amends—including a surrogate amend to his deceased grandmother and the visceral experience of being 'thrown out on his ass' by the parents of a former girlfriend. Dave pushes the urgency of the 'all' in the eighth step, warning that leaving even two amends unfinished is a lie that leads back to the bottle.

The conversation shifts to the 'daily reprieve,' where Dave outlines a rigorous spiritual discipline of meditation, the 'line of the will,' and the 'sixth sense' of spiritual direction. They treat recovery not as a destination but as a constant, gritty practice of watching for selfishness and dishonesty in real-time, emphasizing that sobriety is contingent on a fit spiritual condition maintained minute by minute.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Mark discusses the emotional weight of making amends to his son and the capacity to love others.
• 4:15 Mark describes the 'repentance' of bawling like a baby after being berated by a former girlfriend's mother.
• 8:30 Dave explains the 'plus and minus' card system for organizing Step 8 and 9.
• 11:45 Dave's warning on the word 'all' in Step 8 and the danger of unfinished amends.
• 16:20 Mark's detailed account of the surrogate amend to his grandmother and visiting her grave.
• 22:10 Dave discusses the 'world of the spirit' and the 10th step as a tool for neutrality.
• 28:45 Dave's deep dive into the 11th step: the evening review and the 'thought life'.
• 35:10 Dave's guided prayer and meditation on patience, tolerance, and kindness.
• 42:15 Dave's practical, gritty advice on 'wet' 12-step calls, including clearing weapons and managing puke.