Steps 1-12 by Beth B. (4.5hrs) – Part 3 of 2 – 2017 – Local AA Speakers

About This Speaker Tape

Steps 1-12 by Beth B. (4.5hrs) - 2017

A miscarriage in a rehab center marks a brutal turning point where the speaker realizes the depth of Step 3 learning to accept life on its own terms. She navigates the wreckage of a toxic job—doing the work of a boss and his mistress while fighting the urge to gossip—and discovers that the only way to find peace is to drop the word 'blame' from her vocabulary entirely. Through a series of failed job interviews and a near-miss with the World Trade Center she comes to trust that her Higher Power's redirection is a form of care. Her recovery is a daily exercise in humility described as the terrifying process of putting old battered furniture out in the backyard and sitting in an empty room until something new arrives.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Discussion on trusting a Higher Power to make things fall into place.
• 2:15 Account of miscarrying a baby in rehab and the emotional fallout.
• 4:30 The 'reliance not defiance' shift in her prayer for a new job.
• 6:15 The realization that missing a specific job saved her from the 9/11 attacks.
• 8:45 Step 4: Struggles with the 'moral inventory' and the 12 and 12 questions on sex.
• 11:20 The concept of 'dropping the word blame' to achieve forgiveness.
• timecode Step 5: Sharing her story with Father Bernie, a priest in recovery.
• 14:10 Laughter: Beth introduces herself and shares the 'change or die' note in her Big Book.
• 16:30 Detailed account of her 'color-coded' drinking habits in biker bars.
• 18:50 The 'loose garment' incident where she threw the 24-hour book out of her car window.
• 21:15 The furniture metaphor for Steps 6 and 7: sitting in the empty room.
• 24:40 The toxic workplace dynamics and the struggle to avoid gossiping about her boss's affair.