Step Two and Willingness – Sponsorship Workshop – 2024 – Part 13 of 16 – Ali H.

overseas thank you kuna good morning ali grateful alcoholic uh thank you so much for being here i'm just uh i don't usually during the during this session i don' get a chance i just stay on the first page because i don''t get a change to toggle but before when mickey was doing her thing and trisha was doing i was toggling and i just uh just overwhelmed by by uh by the spirit that you guys each of you bring to this workshop i want you to know that it's appreciated that this workshop or any workshops wouldn't be one without your kindness your generosity of giving your time and your willingness to come and join have us join together in in preparing and and dining in this beautiful spiritual meal that we're going to do for the next few sessions so i want to thank you i want make sure that you're that you appreciated everybody for your time i don't take it lightly at all i don t uh you know i'm not i'm so clear that i'm not here to teach or preach although maybe in my excitement preaching comes out but that's yeah i'm i'm here to just share with you um some of my experiences and i hope i pray that that is gonna uh benefit somebody um and i'm so grateful because i have i have been introduced to a path and a loving power which which has revolutionized me in every way you can imagine and you as well. I know you experienced it and at times I'm present to this, to my insignificance and also my significance. My insignificances when I am running the show myself, when i am the power how insignificant and small my life becomes where either i drink myself to death or in sobriety i destroy every relationship and and rob everybody of their peace of minds and i just become insignificant you know um and when i'm aware when i m humbled with in this relationship with you guys through these steps when i' m humbled that how insignificant i am like how i can look at it this way how small i am in the grand scheme of things just a grain of sand just a greener sand just spoke in the wheel you guys told me when i'm awake and aware to that when i bring that humble spirit into whatever i'm doing all of a sudden i get to experience how significant i become in god's hands that's huge you may say what does it have to do with this workshop i will i like to propose that everything because because because because i mean if you think about it look how look how this movement of anything if i'm looking at like human you know history right um revolutions and transformations in in our lives were usually started from one soul one soul that became open to the universe using him or her right i'm not going to throw out any names because i don't want to stir up controversy but we all know historical religious spiritual names right but let's look at our lineage from dr call young tar gustav young humble man top in his field humble enough to say that i can't help these people i don't know what's going on here right to roland hazard one soul to abby thatcher once sold to bill wilson one soul for dr bob language of love started from two of those humble beautiful souls and look at the revolution this the the waves the ripple effects that have traveled and transcended space time through 89 years millions and millions of people from two people from one person desire to stay sober himself so don't sell yourself short so this is a powerful workshop for anybody that's willing and ready because i can only imagine the ripple effects that's going to start from your soul if you find that this method of taking a newcomer through the through the big book is efficient for you and it's powerful you want to try it on okay so i just need to say that you are very significant you and i are very significant in god's hands when i become present to my insignificance on my own power okay so having done that i don't want to if somebody is moved to please just a set aside prayer that's on your part your own version of it i don't care what the words are it's the idea just put up your hand electronically to start this workshop with a set aside prayer if you don't mind oh shantae is first up shantay please go ahead frank's gonna mute you good morning good morning thank you ali my name is shanta and i'm an alcoholic let's take a moment to center ourselves. God, please set aside everything I think I know about this process, about sponsorship, about this program, about myself, God, and especially you so that we can have an open mind and a brand new experience with all these things. Please help us see the truth. oh man thank you thank you so much empty cup i bring an empty cup to this session to this hour to this moment and just and just enjoy the offerings that this spirit brings to us all right let's jump right in so if you go to we agnostics now page 44 we agnostic open up your big books please to page 44 in the first three sessions so far we've done a laser-like, very laser- like efficient powerful way through the first step. The first step which all big book purists will tell you that it takes from the doctor's opinion to page 43, 51 pages it covers a lot but basically the focus is on the first half of the first step identification right what we've done is that laser light instead of 51 pages we've gone through 14 pages in three sessions. Now you may say, I can do it much more efficiently. I can do it in one conversation. I would not disagree with you at all. Not at all, right? But what we are trying to do is stick as closely as we can to the sacred text and as efficiently as we can yet still experience the power of it, right. So what I have found from my experience, There is a magic, I don't use that word lightly, magic that happens in the steps as outlined in the Big Book of Alcoholics. This magic, the sacred text is so magical, I didn't use it lightly, that literally our fellowship was named after it. that our fellowship was going through a blind, flying blind period for five and a half years, for four and a halve, five years, where trial and error, blind, flying blind, approximately 100, some say a little bit less, got sober. This big book was written after the publication, the first year 800 got sober, next year a couple of thousand. Now we've got millions of people, right? As the steps as outlined in the Big Book of Alcoholics and Others. So that's why we're going to try to stay as true as we can to our sacred text and as efficiently as we can. So now, we agnostics, chapter four, at the top, very top margin, very top left, please write in one line, write as small as you can but big enough so you can read, okay? please write step one dash unmanageability colon slap one dash unmanagability colon and please highlight that in yellow we want to make it stand out to the right of the colon and as always I'm going to just remind any friends that may be new if you can try to use shorthand for yourself it'll save space and i'll save you time okay so for example page always put p or pg page 52 bedevilments to the right of that colons colon page 52 bedevilments so up to now we've we covered the first half of the first step powerless over alcohol what does that mean only physical allergy mental obsession that's it no more no less those the only things that make one an alcoholic right and now we're going to cover the second half one might say of the first step dash we admitted we were powerless for alcohol dash that means a different idea is going to come after the dash that our lives were unmanaged we admitted something like that that our lies were unmanageable so now we are going to cover this unmanageability so page 52 bedouinments if you go to page 52 please now if you find the second full paragraph it starts with we had to ask ourselves we had asked the second whole paragraph page 52. we had to ask ourself so if you put three line two lines down the next sentence says we were having trouble with personal relationships the next full sentence in that paragraph if you grab the yellow highlighter please we're going to yellow highlight the following important statements we were having trouble with personal relationships we couldn't control our emotional natures we were prey to misery and depression we couldn t make a living we had a feeling of uselessness we were full of fear we were unhappy we could have seemed to be a real help to other people all that in yellow please okay let's go back now with your pen just follow me but we're going to reread the yellow i'm going to put question marks okay so again as always this text only become this sacred magical beautiful text only becomes powerful when i make it personal to me when it becomes a mirror and i see myself in it and that that inspires me to take some action that's the powering it's not in the philosophical discussions in. It's in the, I see myself, I take action. That's a power. And then I pass it on to someone else. That is the power of it, right? So we were having trouble with personal relationships. Put a question mark. Okay. Here, I'm going to, so one way you can look at this. So when you're with a new person, right, when I'm with a person, when they relate to this and I go back when I was drinking, how I related to this. And once in a while, mostly with the new person, I'd go back when I was drinking, okay? But when I am recommitting myself to this work, like what I'm going to ask you guys to do, please, today, you can have it in the back of your head when you used to, right? I'm going to asked you something a lot more perhaps difficult to look at, yet a lot more rewarding and powerful to look up, okay. Ask yourself these days, ask yourself, ask yourself. These days, am I having trouble with personal relationships? It doesn't make you less of a person. It doesn'T make you less spiritual on this path. It's an invitation for spirit to go even deeper, okay? So we were having trouble personal relationships, question mark. So you're going to ask yourself in your head two ways, back then, now. Back then, no, okay. So the yes should be right next to the question mark or the why should be right next to the question mark we want to leave the left margin completely blank right now we're going to use it okay we were having trouble personal relationships question mark we couldn't control our emotional natures question mark so the why should be to the right of that question mark right there emotional nature is like um i get excited i get depressed i'm up i'm down and we were prey to misery and depression, question mark. Was that me? Is this me to any degree? Now the big book will meet you where I am, okay? So today it may not be these days in my life like depression but do I get sad often maybe, right? I gotta ask myself that, okay. Again, so if you notice, I go back to talking to the group and then saying things for the individual when we're going one by one, one on one, right. We couldn't make a living, question mark. Making a living is not necessarily making money. Making a Living is I make money. I pay my bills on time. I am able to put aside a little bit to save, right? I help out maybe my parents if they need it. Like this different between making a living and making money, I'm making lots of money. My bills are late. I'm spending frivolously on cars and clothes so people can look at me. And that's not what we're talking about. Make it a little bit different in the spiritual realm, okay? We had a feeling of uselessness, question mark. Did I used to feel like that? We were full of fear, question Mark. We were unhappy, questionmark. We couldn't seem to be a real help to other people, question mark, on the dash there after people, question mark. Was that me? Okay. So, again, if I'm taking the newcomer, I'm not using this opportunity to talk about me these days. That was just a bonus thing for you guys, right? I'm just talking about what I was in the past. I'm asking them. I want them to see, right, okay? Perfect question mark, right. So now we're going to write some notes and I want, I am going to ask for some sharing just on this portion of today, please. So as you put your hand up, if you move to share on any one or two of these questions, not the whole list, please. OK, just 30 seconds. One or two these questions. I would like you to please answer one what it used to be like. Right. If it used To be like that. And also one of them, any question if you're still experiencing this these days at last four or five months, these days. okay if you're able to okay so now before we do that just think about that so the left margin now if you turn the big book clockwise 90 degrees so your left margin is now facing you it's facing me so you can write across so left margin of spacing okay from the yellow the paragraph any line from the Yellow put a little line a little arrow to the left margin the left margin is facing me go to the very top left of the left margin and please write step one dash on manageability like as always please write small enough so you can get lots of room yeah big enough so, you can read okay highlight that in yellow we want to make it stand out colon after unmanageability and we're going to write this please okay it might be a couple of lines for you so this is a great description of untreated alcoholism this is an example of this is a great description of untreated alcoholism. One more time. This is a great description of Untreated Alcoholism slash, if you have to start a new line, start a New Line, Spiritual Malady. Another way we can say Untreated Alcoholism, Spiritual Melody. This Is A Great Description Of Untreated alcoholism slash spiritual malady comma here's the kicker okay here comes a kicker so so far we wrote this is a great description of untreated alcoholism spiritual maladi comma whether drunk or sober there's a kickr whether i'm active or i'm sober in the program few years my foot off the gas pedal and spirituality comes for a visit this is a great description of untreated alcoholism slash spirituality whether drunk or sober perfect let's turn the book around let's turn the look around now can we get a few hands please only if you're moved right laser like not five minutes 30 seconds pick one or two questions that you can relate to share briefly what it was like how you relate how you used to relate to it and if you can currently to any degree relate to any question share that as well if you cannot no problem at all no problem at all all right so we're going to take a few hands barb come on up please good morning hi Hi, good morning. Barb alcoholic. I couldn't make a living even though I thought I was. I wasn't paying taxes. I was paying robbing Peter to pay Paul and today living in abundance and paying taxes beautiful. Thank you. Marilyn good morning good morning family. Good morning. My. answer to the question is i was having trouble with personal relationships um and i couldn't control my emotional nature so when i was drinking and using i was having trouble personal issues with my daughter right so this this answers relating to my daughter and now in sobriety and uh i'm still trying to learn how to manage my emotions as it relates to our relationship if that makes sense beautiful thank you so much carrie come on up please good morning everyone my name is carrie i'm an alcoholic um i had no idea that currently i am coming up on 15 years sober and i am living in the bedevilments um i'm having trouble with personal relationships and definitely i have having trouble controlling my emotional nature a lot lately just ask my husband thank you thank you so much kerry vinay come on up please hi i'm very grateful alcoholic yeah the uh the personal relationships man i thought that i'd stop drinking and uh uh my wife would start listening to me but i think she's still out of control even though she's got her own program and my kids too and uh and i don't get my way and the other thing is the emotional nature man i just i just bought something i spent a lot of money buying something that i don t need because it was on sale and just a different moment and my wife's really unhappy about it but now it's done so thank you you. Thank you, Vinay. Thanks for that. Yuna, good morning. Come on up. Good morning, family. My name is Yuna and I'm a real alcoholic and I am happy to be here. Back in 2020 with 27 years physically sober, I realized coming to these meetings that I was spiritually and mentally and emotionally sick and I was suffering from untreated alcoholism. The question was was i having trouble with personal relationships absolutely but there's a difference back then and today even though a couple days ago my significant other left and said he's got to get out of here but today last two days doing what god wants me to do and serving god i'm able to deal with it differently. I'm able to deal with differently today, and I can see a change in me. So I thank you for that. Thank you, Ali. Thank you. Nice to see you, my friend Michelle. Hi, good morning. Hi, Good morning, my name is Michelle Manalcala. And just the part, you know, my emotional nature years like when i am not some days i can't even be a bit disciplined or in it and i have this tendency to just fly off specifically when somebody's close to me and i feel out of control generally as i see that the nature of the pattern in my inventory so thanks thank you michelle sam come on up brother please hey yeah i couldn't seem to be of real help to other people i never did anything for anyone without wanting something back and now i do that's why i'm here today thank you sam and last one ann come on up please hi everyone an alcoholic i'm going with the world we were full of fear i thought about when i woke up first thing in the morning usually with a hangover i was full of fears like oh would i have enough alcohol to get through the day then And I thought my fear was, well, I'll invite friends over. And then the fear went into, will they bring alcohol or should I run to the store and get more? And then next year after that moved on to, let's see, did I make a fool out of myself? And I said, oh, my gosh, they left. Now the next fear is, will my husband know? And I still went to bed at night after this whole day with the fear of, will I have enough alcohol for tomorrow? It just was a day full of, couldn't be any more full of fear. Thanks for letting me share. Thank you so much. and okay so joanne you can keep your hand up for the next sharing thank you we're gonna we're gonna keep going um so page 52 there's many different passages in this big book that talks about the spiritual malady different ways this is such a powerful compact paragraph right here right so describes me while i'm active drinking or sober spiritual morality alcohol uh untreated alcoholism i gotta see myself in this so i get the newcomer to see themselves in this right um now if you continue page 52 it says was not a basic solution please circle basic solution and right above the circle or to the right somewhere there please write 12 steps we want to make sure they're clear on what the solution is 12 steps 12 steps circle basic solution 12 steps perfect and then to the right of that it says bedevilments of these bedevillment just circle bedevilements circle bedeviles these are the bedevils i think if you look it up in addition it's something like things that know at you right just like something like that disturb you not you consistently something like that okay perfect so let's go back to page 44. so we just covered unmanageability good enough for the new person good enough for me right we'll be agnostic now the now step two uh the second step has been given uh the second most number of words and pages in the big book in our sacred text the first step is given around 51 pages of first half of the first stuff right the second stop is in this chapter we agnostics it's been given about 14 pages right sometimes you hear in i used to hear that there's a solution chapter is the second step if you actually go through the words of the solution is not the second stuff there's a couple of sentences talks about there's a solution paragraph right there's a solution chapters a step one chapter and we surgically remove what we needed from that chapter right so uh we agnostics okay so on the top you've written already step one dash under unmanageability colon page 52 bedevilments just right below that below step one please write step two highlight it in yellow put a dot and put a colon and put chapter four step two chapter four Re-agnostics. In the preceding chapters, you have learned something of alcoholism. We hope we have made clear the distinction between the alcoholic and the non-alcoholic. If important right here, please pay attention. If when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, put a question mark after entirely, write above quit entirely in between the lines in small letters, please write obsession. Obsession. put a question mark after entirely if you can still relate to that put a yes or a y on the left margin somewhere there if or if when drinking you have little control over the amount you take question mark at your take right above amount you take please write allergy allergy and answer that question mark with a y on the left margin it says you are probably alcoholic question mark after alcoholic so look at what they just did they covered 51 pages in three sentences three lines three lines the summary of 51 pages in three lines okay so if you honestly want to you find you cannot quit entirely that's the obsession entirely that means i quit but i keep going back i keep coming back obsession of the mind right or when drink or when drinking you have little control over the amount you take that's allergy of the body i drink craving starts i keep growing right so if you can relate to those two you are probably alcoholic that's a new comment do you still relate to that right if that be the case if you grab the yellow highlighter important please you may be from you may be suffering from an illness which only a spiritual experience will conquer that's in yellow highlighted you want to make it stand out you may be suffering from an illness which only a spiritual experience can conquer that's in yellow if you grab the pen in what you just highlighted the word only please circle that Only. Not maybe. Not sometimes. Only. So you got to think, the new person has gone through, if they've made it through the first couple of sessions of step one, they will only be with me here in this session if they could completely relate to what it is to be an alcoholic, right? Okay, so this only is not such a big thing to digest. Only the spiritual experience will conquer. So from conquer, if you put a little line, little arrow to the right in that space, we're gonna write I am beyond human help. Please try to fit that in there. I am Beyond Human Help. I am BEYOND HUMAN HELP. We're going to cover not the entire 14 pages, we're just going to do like four pages out of this. Something like that. Four or five pages out of this, step two is so simple when I've had a step one experience. Step two is SO difficult when I haven't had a Step 1 experience and I don't really see myself as an alcoholic, I think I have the power. a lot of debating going on but when I've had a step one experience and I see myself in the first step it's very simple okay so to one who feels he's an atheist question mark or agnostic question mark so you're gonna put your yeses on the left margin right so that have I ever felt like so please don't answer the questions now for you while you are these days um what used to be right or whatever it is. Agnostic. Atheist, I know there's proof, there's no power greater than myself. Agnostics says, I'm not sure, maybe, maybe not, or maybe there is, but I don't think he or she can help me in my life, okay? Just generally speaking. Such an experience seems impossible, but continue as he is means disaster, especially if he's an alcoholic of the hopeless variety, question mark after variety you can ask yourself was i the hopeless variety you asked a newcomer do you believe you're in that category right to be doomed to an alcoholic death or to live on a spiritual basis are not always easy alternatives to face okay so you're gonna notice just like the step one pages there's so many things that can be unpacked and talked about in this book but we're going to be laser light you're going to pass move past a few things just to get what we want to for the new person in the second step consideration now but it isn't so difficult about half of our half our original fellowship were exactly of that type at first some of us tried to avoid the issue hoping against hope we were not true alcoholics grab the yellow highlighter please important but after a while, we had to face the fact that we must find the spiritual basis of life or else. That's in yellow. But after a while. We have to face this fact that we must find the spiritual basis of life or else. That's in the third paragraph on page 44 1 2 3 4 lines down. If you grab the pen, please circle the word must in that yellow highlight. There are many musts in this book. But these musts are not rules of laws and a policeman is going to give me a ticket for them. They're for me to internalize. There are many musts in this book, okay? Must find the spiritual base of life for us. No more yellow. Perhaps it is going be that way with you but cheer up. Something like half of us thought we were atheists or agnostics, right? Our experience shows that you need not be disconcerted. mr new person don't even worry about it half of the people that wrote this book were atheists or agnostics many people uh it's come in atheist agnostic i even know by the way i know today as we're speaking i know a couple like atheists and alcoholic synonymous that are living beautiful lives and their conception of the power greater than themselves is a path of goodness of the 12 steps. I know plenty, right? So let's not get stuck on that one. If a mere code of morals, please circle code of morals in pen, or a better philosophy of life, please circle a better philosophy of light. We're going to circle in pen. Code of morals. Circle in pen better philosophy, just better philosophy. Of life were sufficient to overcome alcoholism, many of us would have recovered long ago. But we found that such codes and philosophies did not save us no matter how much we try. Put a question mark. Please put a why next to the question mark, go back to your own experience. When you were drinking and trying to stay sober, did you try different things to stay sober? So now let's sort of define these two things for us, okay? Let's go back the bottom of page 44 code of morals you have circled it please put a line and arrow to the left margin the very left of the bottom margin very left bottom margin and please write example religion okay quote of morals what do you mean by quote for example what religion teaches us oh well my parents taught us right from wrong good and bad don't steal don't hurt people be honest go to most okay from better philosophy please put a line down to the bottom margin please write example self-help books example self help books okay so you're going to ask yourself now have i did i try when i was drinking and trying to live a good life trying to stay sober trying to be a better person trying that piece of my life did i try different paths did i tried southpaw folks and motivational speakers and jim and the greed have you tried that you're going to ask yourself you're gonna ask a newcomer to ask himself that or herself right so let's go back to page 45. so we put a question mark after but we found that such codes and philosophies did not save us no matter how much we tried question mark yes somewhere there or why we we could wish to be moral like i could try to with oh my might try to be moral right we could wish to be philosophically comforted in fact we could will these things with my willpower with all with all our might grab the yellow highlighter now please important but the needed power wasn't there but the need of power was in there no more yellow end of yellow our human resources all the things that we just mentioned including love okay as marshaled by the will were not sufficient they failed utterly question mark after utterly please put a wire yes to the right of that if you can relate to that is your human resources while you were drinking and trying to be good and stay sober did it did they fail you to stay sober and peaceful right they never worked for me beautiful grab the yellow highlighter please there we go very important lack of power that was our dilemma we had to find the power by which we could live and it had to be a power greater than ourselves all that's in yellow we hadto find thepowerbywhichwecouldliveandithadtobeapowergreaterthanourselves Perfect. Okay, if you grab the pen face where we just highlighted on the right, the first two lines on the right, you're going to see the had to, had to twice, right? Circle the first had to circle the second had to. Had tos are another version of must. It's in the past tense. We had to find a power within ourselves. The power by which we could live and it had to be a power power greater than my thinking had to be a power greater than me okay no more yellow no more circling obviously but where and how were we to find this power grab the yellow highlighter please very important well that's exactly what this book is about don't worry ali this book is about that okay continuing yellow its main object is to enable you to find the power greater than yourself which will solve the problem highlight all the way to problem i don't know why i keep needing to share this but just i just want to reiterate sometimes i may explain things or dive deeper unpack things as the spirit invokes me to in a group setting which i would not waste time doing with a new person i'm very surgical with them i'm in the book can relate to this guy oh you can't well this is what it means to me that's how i relate to it you know so well that's exactly what this book is about its main object just enable you to power find a power greater yourself which will solve your problem perfect now from we're gonna turn the book counterclockwise 90 degrees so the right margin is now facing me the right margin is not facing me see that's that's what i mean thank you very much thank you okay so from that yellow right from there just put a little arrow line and please write note put notes underline colon notes underlined colon it doesn't enable me to solve period there's one more sentence after that this is such subtle language but i think it's so profound when i got it okay note colon it doesn't enable me to solve period it enables me it it enables me to find the power that will solve my problem i'm going to go over the whole thing again it doesn't enable me to solve period thank you so much kristin as always for putting it in the chat it enables me to find the power that will solve my problem that is huge that's a huge distinction i'm not in charge it enables me to find the power that will solve my problem that's huge right now what problem are they talking about here i mean we could unpack this it's really what this big book where the big book meets you when i'm with a newcomer i'm talking about the drink problem that's it when we're renew if we're reviewing renewing this with someone who has a little bit of time we may talk about all other problems but listen if a newcomer says okay but drink problem but what about my marriage problem what about that i will say all of it all of its because that's been my experience but i'm focusing on the drink problem right okay i hope everyone got that if you didn't as always please make sure exchange numbers get in whatsapp groups there's catch-up sessions mickey's doing them other people dina is doing other people are doing them get involved pass this on with each other form a fellowship okay so don't worry if you miss something here okay we're going to continue go let's go back to the big book no more yellow so after the yellow we're gonna start that means we have written a book which we believe to be spiritual as well as moral and it means of course we are going to talk about god here difficulty arises with agnostics many times we talk to a new man and watch his hopes rise as we discuss his alcoholic problems and explain our fellowship but his face falls when we speak of spiritual matters especially when we mention god for we have reopened a subject which our man had thought he had neatly evaded or entirely ignored question mark after ignoring i'm going ask the newcomer now do you relate to that at all right now this god idea had you ignored or evaded did you be related to that alone just put it we're gonna put our wives on the left margin now please we know how he feels we have shared his honest doubt and prejudice some of us have been violently anti-religious question mark so you're going to ask the new comment or to ask himself in your life have there been any period you've been really anti-religious i have it's beautiful now they're gonna in this book right now they're going to they're going to ask us to relate to things that they also have experienced i continue to see myself oh so you guys would like this too you mean these are not obstacles these thoughts and experiences are not up obstacles and having a spiritual experience and staying sober and tapping into of power and living a beautiful life oh i was anti-religious too violently yes i was the periods of time right to others the words god brought up a particular idea of him which with which someone had tried to impress them upon childhood question mark after childhood was that your experience mine was most people right to different degrees perhaps we rejected this particular conception because it seemed inadequate question mark after inadequate question Mark has it been your experience at all with that rejection we imagine we had abandoned the God idea idea entirely question mark after entirely question Mark we put our wise in the left margin we were bothered with the thought that faith and dependence upon a power beyond ourselves was somewhat we even cowardly question mark all the wise of the left watching have you ever thought that people that are religious they're just weak a coward we looked upon this world of warring individuals worrying theological systems like boring religions right and inexplicable calamity disaster in life right the bombings and the tsunamis and the earthquakes, calamity with deep skepticism, question mark have you ever thought that in your life? you're skeptical? yeah, if there isn't a God then how come this? what's this about? we looked askance I look these words up long time but I believe it means doubtful we lookedaskance at many individuals who claim to be godly question mark after godly Do you relate to that? Have you ever done that in your life, that you asked a newcomer? By the way, I came into these rooms and I look askance at some of you that claim to have a power greater than yourself in your lives too. How could a supreme being have anything to do with it all? There's a question mark right there. Have you asked yourself that any version of that in your life? And who could a Supreme be? And who could comprehend, understand the Supreme being anyhow? Question mark. ask yourself that right all yeses are left margin yet in other moments we found ourselves thinking when enchanted by a starlit night when enchained by the baby's smile when enchainted with a beauty and smell of a rose when enchated by belly the belly laughter that me and my wife had sometimes right when enchented by the present moment whom then who made all this Have you ever asked yourself that? The universe just stops you in your tracks and you're like, are you kidding me? Yellow please. Last line is yellow, important. There was a fleeting, there was a feeling of awe and wonder but it was fleeting and soon lost. That's in yellow. That line is in yellow, question mark after loss please answer that if you have experienced that in your life at all very good okay so we're not gonna just because it's sacred time I want to get through some of this so I know we can all share on this as well right we cannot share on this I hope everyone is doing okay with this so please play close close attention to the last next paragraph and a half all you anyone ever needs for the second step is in these lines everything else before this the table was set a little bit okay ready yes we have agnostic temper agnestic temperaments have had these thoughts and experiences let us make haste to reassure you we found that grab the yellow highlighter important from this word as soon as but in yellow as soon as we were able to lay aside prejudice and express even a willingness to believe in a power grade than ourselves stop right there that's in yellow stop right stop right then grab the pink highlighter pink we have assigned pink to prayers meditations promises okay pink highlighter we commence to get results stop right there that's in pink we commence to get results it's in pink it's a promise okay now let's go back grab the pen okay we're going to go back on the yellow it says as soon as we were able to lay side prejudice as above right above lay side prejudice right between the two lines right above those words please write number one circle it there's three requirements i guess to take the second steps i know requires maybe strong but you know number one what is it lay aside prejudice what do we do set aside prayer throughout this book set aside president especially in this chapter different versions are saying just set aside what you think you know okay and express even a willingness right above even a willingness right the number two circle it second requirement to take this second step Well, the very first one is to have a stop on experience. Right. And then we're over here. So number one, lay side prejudice. Number two, even express even a willingness To express to believe in express even A willingness to believe In a power greater than ourselves. Notice it says don't believe at this stage. You don't have to believe nothing. Can you express even that willingness we commence to get results okay no more yellow no just hold on to the pen right now please even though it was impossible for any of us to fully define or comprehend that power which is god okay so from the word there's a little space to the right of god please write to the right small i don't have to figure god out i don't have to figure god out at the end of this paragraph to the right of the word god there's a space please write i don t have to figure god out i hope this has been perfect so now one more direction okay you got to follow it carefully because because i'm not there with you to show you okay so see if we go back the yellow where's where the number one is it says lay aside prejudice right that line lay aside prejudiced okay everyone sees that i want you to please your big book is facing you still put a little line to the left and then bring it down just a little bit with the arrow so now that means the arrow is pointing down to the bottom margin to the to the bottom of the page okay so you're going to go left and down you're gonna go left and down let me see where's the problem there it is see i went left and down that's if you'll see this yeah left and down okay perfect okay so stay there we're not gonna write anything let's go to the next paragraph much to our relief we discovered grab the yellow highlighter now we did not need to consider another's conception of god our own conception still in yellow our own perception however inadequate was sufficient to make the approach and to affect the contact with him that's the yellow okay notice what it says we highlight in yellow we did not need to consider another's conception another perception person's conception of god my parents what was impressed upon me the religion that was forced on me i have found that when i have had prejudice and disturbances about the god idea it was just what i thought you believed It was not, I didn't even know what I believe. I was fighting your belief, society's beliefs. So you don't need to worry about another person's conception of God, Ali. Our own conception, however inadequate, was sufficient to make the approach and affect the contact with them. So above conception we highlight in yellow, so the last yellow right it says our own conception above conception, write the number three, put a circle. Write the number 3, put a circle right above the word conception that you pied out in yellow, three-circle. Now, please listen carefully now. So from the word conception, from the yellow highlight word conception where you have the number 3, now you're going to put a line a little bit to the left and a little point up, put an arrow on top of it. So now you have an arrow pointing to the top of the page and arrow from pointing to the bottom of the pages space between those two arrows I hope that made sense yeah perfect and if it didn't get into your groove catch each other okay so in between that those two errors we're gonna write this please right small however you want to fit it just fit it somehow I don't know how you're gonna fitted three requirements to take the second step that's it three requirements to take this and we just numbered the three three requirements to pick the second stuff one I got a satisfied prejudice to express even of willingness to believe even a willingness so we come up with my own conception that's three requirements that take the second step three times to take second step so simple that's it that's it that all we need for the second step okay well we're gonna do another couple of pages just to be hammer home certain things to the new person okay so now from the word conception okay so from that word conception what you've done is you've put a little line to the left arrow up right now I want you to do something else from the word conception i want you to put below that line put a line to the left and put an arrow down now we're going to write something else to the left on the left margin okay line to the left arrow down and then turn the book clockwise so the left margin is facing you and then the left of the left margin right we're gonna write we're going to write something please write this assignment colon come up with your own conception come up with your own conception that works for you. Go come up with a conception that works for your or come up with your conception that works for that's an assignment that could be done right there with the newcomer. I don't think too much time with that one, right? Can you come up with the conception that works to you right now? Come up with your own conception that works for you because this is we need it, right. I don' t know. I don''t know. OK, how about this? So I'll tell you, I'll share with you some of the conceptions that I've heard in the in the room and some that have sort of flip-flopped between and it's like you know it's not like a written in stone i have to have this for the rest of my little evolve for example you know my grandmother passed away when i was 19 and she raised me for a few years when i was a baby i loved her so much when she passed away it was devastating to me and i always feel her spirit on my heart so in aa there was points in time where i was just like i'm going to pray to my grandmother's soul that was good enough okay for example the energy of the universe for example some people say the group of drunks god right maybe a conception is like a power in the rooms together somehow we do things that we couldn't do individually right good early directions you know just whatever concept can you come up with something that works for you for now beautiful let's move forward it's not at this point in time i'm not discussing the validity of god or their existence the philosophical discussion this doesn't matter man that's only for people that haven't had a step one experience not interested in that i'm interested in program of action that awaken me to this power through action okay so now perfect everyone got it i hope i hope you got it okay so assignment come up with your own conception of uh that works for you okay so let's go back to the big book we've ended our yellow highlight with sufficient to make an approach and affect the contact with them no more highlighting as soon as we admitted the possible existence of a creative intelligence a spirit of the universe underlying the totality of things see bill was has given us other ways to talk about a higher power grab the pink highlighter promise promise we began to be possessed of a new sense of power and direction stop right there at direction so bill is saying that as soon as they started to lay aside prejudice just come up with the conception they start to slowly begin to be possessed by this new power and i can relate to the newcomer me too pink we began to be possess of a new sense of power direction now grab the yellow highlighter we want to make it stand out it's important we want to make you stand out from the pink provided we took other simple steps there's a condition provided we took other simple steps that's in yellow from took other simple steps please put a line and an arrow to the bottom margin you want to make always make want to make things very simple and clear to the new person because it's a simple program that's very clear okay please write steps 3 to 12 just so they're clear we're in the second step right now together so you we have been and you will be begin to be possessed by a new sense of power and direction in pink in yellow provided we took other simple steps from the yellow but a line down steps 3-12 plus three that's 12. okay if you grab the pink now the rest of that page this paragraph is all in pink it's all promises right together in pink promises for the new person and by the way all these promises just between us who are not new right all these premises you've all experienced there is no limit and depth of this today these promises i can experience moving forward on a deeper level if i'm open to it if i set aside my prejudice today okay so pink we found that god does not make too hard terms for those who seek him to us the realm of the spirit is broad roomy all inclusive never exclusive or forbidding to those who earnestly see all in pink promises moving forward from for you and i moving forward from today it is open we believe to all men all in think beautiful promises beautiful promises next page we're just going to cover three quarters of the next page and then we're going to jump around we're done for the second step very simple very powerful okay when therefore we speak to you of god in yellow grab the yellow now important we we we mean your own conception of god we mean your own consumption of god notice what we're highlight is still laser like in the spiritual focus of what we trying to get across to the new person we could highlight everything but we don't this is not a big book study big book studies are beautiful nothing wrong with them this is a different view of what action action okay we mean your own conception of god in yellow no more yellow this applies true to other spiritual expressions which you find in this book do not let any prejudice preconceived idea you may have against spiritual terms deter you from honestly asking yourself what they mean to you beautiful okay in yellow now in yellow nail important statements at the start this was all we needed to command spiritual growth to affect our first conscious relations with God as we understood him. That's in yellow. That's a yellow, it's important. Okay, no more yellow. Afterward, we found ourselves accepting many things which seemed entirely out of reach. My faith today in this power greater than me is at a totally different on my faith today 12 years ago eight years ago five years ago three years ago two months ago there's many things that i pray and i expect an answer chuck chamberlain used to say that in his talks in his book a new pair of glasses he said that i prayed he said at that time he had 19 years at 19 years i pray an expectant answer not that i'm demanding god you must give me i pray that i know he she is listening and the answer is coming I experienced that today. I didn't experience this five years ago and I had strong faith five years ago. Afterwards we found ourselves accepting many things which seemed entirely out of reach, that was growth but if we wish to grow we had to begin somewhere so we used our own conception however limited it was i remember this it's all good it's all good my head's telling me no but my heart is telling me yes i'm gonna go with my heart okay to just talk about something um my heads tell me there's not enough time that's why so conception just the word conception okay many beautiful spiritual giants have influenced the spirit that's inside of me many of them one of them is don conference. I've made, I drop, I dropped names throughout, right? I do that out here. Oh man, he's a spiritual giant. In one of his talks, he talked about the word conception. Notice in the big book doesn't use the word concept, it says conception, okay? So this big book meets me where I am, meets me who I am. The words become, they give the meanings I need to have for me to move forward. It doesn't matter what the actual meanings or the context is sometimes either, right conception okay the word conception in the big book is very clear it says i'm not going to understand god is beyond my thinking power i do not have to understand right as i understand him but even that inherently in the context of what he's talking about as i understanding with my finite mind which i can't understand right with whether but the word perception yes an idea of Right? An idea of. But what the word conception, Don said this, right? I'm going to butcher what he said. Beautiful in one of his recordings. So where else can we use the word conception? The birth of something. Right? When a sperm and an egg, please forgive me, I hope it's not in bad taste, my wife and I had to do in vitro. Okay? My sperm in a dish, her egg extrapolated in a is conception, right? If it's naturally, conception in a woman's body, right. Conception. That point from a point of, that was the point of conception where it's so small and insignificant they had to use very powerful microscope to even see and do that for us and then be implanted in my wife's belly, right From the word conception, insignificant, inadequate can't even see it from that conception Each of you, the miracles tens and tens of years later from that conception, the millions and millions and maybe billions of chemical reactions that have biological reactions that had to happen simultaneously to the right amount for me to grow from a conception to a 47 year old man on a zoom meeting talking to you and us understanding each other miracle all of us it started from a conception the right brother's idea laughable idea a childish faith that maybe they can fly there was a genesis starting point conception so i was just willing to share that with you conception is huge man no matter how inadequate you feel doesn't matter from that millions of people conception okay let's go back to the second paragraph on page 47 okay here we go we needed to ask ourselves but one short question ready yellow highlighter this important one okay Mr. Newcomer, you're going to ask yourself this now. Yellow high letter. Do I now believe or am I even willing to believe that there is a power greater than myself? That's in yellow. Do I not believe or my even willing to believe that there's a power greater than myself? That's in yellow to the right margin to the right of that paragraph with the yellow is please put in brackets in capital letters must To the right margin, to the right of that yellow, in brackets, capital letters, M-U-S-T, must. There's a question mark there. Okay? There are many musts in this book. This big book is so beautiful, so broad and so roomy, this path of ours. And it never forces me to do anything. It asks me considerations, if I can see myself only if I want, only the desires within me that I continue to follow. The first step we talked about, there are places in the first step pages, especially after the doctor's opinion and after the very last thing we did, if the newcomer doesn't relate to the physical allergy, I shake their hands and I say, God bless you. you may not be one of us but i want you to i'm going to stay with you let's go to meetings together continue to explore and and listen to your relationship with alcohol both after the allergy and after the mental obsession i shake their hands and that's it for us over here you may não ser um de nós, esse é outro ponto aqui se depois de todas as páginas que fizemos juntos e os alunos viram-se no primeiro passo the powerlessness of it and everything up to now yes yes yes yes yes that's now and they can't answer yes to this i shake the hand god bless you let's just keep going to meetings together i want you to consider this idea for a little while it's just a waste of time believe me i've done it so many times i've course people drag people through the steps as i live online the big book i don't judge them because i stay friendly right so after all this look how look how low they set the bar do i not believe i don't now believe okay how about this are you even willing to believe that there's a power there in yourself please put your big yes over there under the must okay perfect as soon as a man can say that he does believe or is willing to belief we emphatically assure him that he is on his way grab the pink highlighter its promises for the rest of that paragraph all pink It has been repeatedly proven among us that upon this simple cornerstone, a wonderfully effective spiritual structure can be built. It's always every single one of these sessions. It's been my intention to have the Q&A during the time allotted. Please forgive me. It just never seems to work out that way. We're going to use every minute of what we have left to finish what we had today. I'll stay for some time. Whoever has questions, I'll stick with you guys. it would be my honor okay so in pink it has been repeatedly proven among us that upon this simple cornerstone a wonderfully effective spiritual structure can be built there's an asterisk okay please circle the asterisks if you go back to the bottom pages the bottom of the page it says please be sure to read appendix 2 on spiritual experience perfect so we've circled the asters to the right of the aesterisk in the big book that you've circling please write go to pg567 go to page 567 so you know when you get here and you go to place 569 with the new person there's two places in the big book where they put an asterisk and they direct us to the page five to the spiritual experience one place is and there is a solution we don't do it that way and we use this as a solution just for step one spiritual truth right i believe it's a very powerful place to go to the spirit expense when we're talking about god and power together ourselves right here and we agnostic okay so before we go to page 567 would you please would you please circle cornerstone in the pink we've highlighted cornerstone again we could unpack this and just simple we're just going to make it simple cornerstone circle it put a line to the right margin and then write long ways so that right margin is facing you and then please write willingness to believe so circle corner stone put a lion to the right margins on the right margin somewhere right willingness to believe you can go to big book studies and talk to some big book technicians and they'll tell you all the different construction analogies that that bill wilson has used and what it means for now we just say our foundation is the step one experience you can have if you if i don't know my truth exactly that i'm powerless over alcohol or for friends that are in ca whatever you ask you powerless over or other 12-step fellowships right if i don't know my truth no matter how i work this program i can build the most beautiful building on a foundation that's weak and wobbly i'm not sure i'm powerless over everything and it will fall eventually i need to know what my step one truth is okay foundation is step one willingness to believe is the cornerstone cornerstone if you believe if you talk to people in construction i believe that what they've told me is the first kind of stone they put on the foundation and it needs to be straight because the building won't be straight if it's slanted right so everything else built on that cornerstone okay my willingness to believe is a cornerstone let's go to page five six seven we're almost there we're most done page five six seven spiritual experience appendix to spiritual experience i don't know what edition you have but from the second edition onwards it was inserted in there spiritual experience page 567 on we're going to go pretty laser like through this as well on the top margin page 56 7 spiritual experience on top margin please write different ways to say and describe spiritual experience different ways to say and describe spiritual experience thank you kristin and then put a little arrow to the right after spiritual experience or a little arrow down wherever you are in the top margin and then do a yellow highlight do a yellow highlight different ways to say and describe spiritual experience and then, do a yellow highlight arrow yellow highlight that means what that means is that we're going to read the spiritual experience and when they describe and say the spiritual experience in different ways we're going to highlight that in yellow so you see there's many different ways to look at spiritual experience that means whatever we highlight in the next page and a half in yellow is just different ways to say and describe what a spiritual experience is okay ready okay so appendix to spiritual experience the term spiritual experience and spiritual awakening so highlight spiritual experience in yellow highlight spiritual awakening yellow please are used many times in this book which upon careful reading shows that in yellow highlighter now the personality change sufficient to bring about recovery from alcoholism end of highlight that's just another description in a different way description what actually it is what's a spiritual experience well it's a one way they describe it the personality change sufficient to bring about recovery from alcoholism you mean it's not the hocus pocus man in the sky that i was had a prejudice against no it's just the personality changed sufficient to bring about recovering from alcoholism that's one way okay no more yellow has manifested itself among us in various forms yet it is true that our first printing gave readers the impression that these highlighting yellow personality changes this is another way to say spiritual experience personality changes okay or highlighting yellow now religious experiences that's just another way to say religious experiences is a religious program no just another way yellow religious experiences no more yellow must be in the nature of sudden and spectacular upheavals happy for everyone this conclusion is erroneous so if you believe that the only way to have a spiritual experience it's a profound white lightning experience that bill wilson described in his story and some other people describe if you think that's the only way that's incorrect in fact their first printing of this big book gave that impression so in the second printing onwards they inserted this spiritual experience to to break down any other prejudices that i may have okay in the first few chapters a number of in yellow sudden revolutionary changes that's another possible description of spiritual experience sudden revolutionary changes okay no more yellow are described though it was not our intention to create such an impression many alcoholics have nevertheless concluded that in order to recover they must acquire an immediate and overwhelming god consciousness followed at once grab it grab the yellow a vast change in feeling and outlook that's another description of what it may look like? In yellow, a vast change in feeling and outlook. Okay, no more yellow. Among the rapidly growing membership of thousands of alcoholics, such yellow transformations. That's another way to describe spirits, transformation. I always go back to the analogy of the butterfly. Transformation. Caterpillar goes in a cocoon of darkness and emerges as a totally different creature with wings and butterflies. I don't turn into a better looking caterpillar, I transform. Transformations. Yellow. No more yellow. Though frequently, though frequently are by no means the rule. So they happen frequently. It's suddenly revolutionary but they're not the rule Most of our experiences are what the psychologist William James calls that yellow highlighter educational variety because they develop slowly over a period of time. Educational variety, because they developed slowly over appear to time yellow. That's huge, that's another description. They just make it so broad and woomy they bring the bar down so low for anyone that's had a step one experience. Okay, no more yellow. Quite often friends of the newcomer are aware of the difference long before he is himself. and it is so true he finally realized that he has undergone in yellow now a profound alteration in his reaction to life in yellow a profound alternation in his reaction to like that's another way we describe what it looks like the spiritual experience no more yellow that such a change could hardly have been brought about by himself alone Right? I tried it for years. That's what they tell us. Grab the pink. It's a promise for the newcomer. It is a promise for the new comer. What often takes place in a few months could seldom have been accomplished by years of self-discipline. Few months, not one year, not two years, not five years. Few months i've experienced this i've seen men and women constantly experience this doesn't mean that we walk on water doesn't means we don't make mistakes but the transformations happen in a few months and if you are moved to be in the big book the sacred text literally in a few months i was at 12 step 12 at three months of sobriety okay everyone's different by the way that's not even that's the other rule everyone's different however so in pink promise what often takes place in a few months could seldom have been accomplished by fears of self-discipline okay no more yet no more pink with few exceptions our members find that they have in yellow now important yellow important yellow tap and unsuspected inner resource that's another description of a higher power maybe higher powers first experience an unsuspecting inner resource No more yellow, which they presently identify with their own conception of a power greater than themselves. Most of us think that this awareness, my living yellow awareness, that's another way to describe spiritual experience. Awareness. I am aware. There's an awareness. Awareness in yellow. That's it for the yellow. Of a power better than ourselves is the essence of spiritual experience? that's beautiful that line most of us think that this awareness of empowering themselves is the essence of spiritual experience our more religious members call it in yellow god consciousness in yellow God Consciousness okay we're good so far right right so this spiritual experience we could unpack it seems to be the most powerful way for the new person look in yellow the different ways they describe spiritual experience description of it it's so bright and roomy come on okay next paragraph most emphatically we wish to say that any alcoholic capable of honestly facing his problems in the light of our experience circle can recover circle can recover and pen remember we're going to recover we're gonna be brought to help we do recover we have recovered but can recover provided he does not close his mind to all spiritual concepts he can only be defeated by an attitude of intolerance or belligerent denial we find that no one need have difficulty with the spirituality of the program circle the word willingness in pen please circle the world honesty and penalties circle open mindedness in penn please so we've circled willingness honesty open-mindedness right it says willingness honesty and open-mindedness are the essentials of recovery circle essentials absolutely needed but these are indispensable circle indispensable can't replace them with anything cannot lose them i gotta be willing honest and open minded sense to set aside prayer right okay and the last paragraph it says there is a principle which is a bar against all information which is proof against all arguments and which cannot fail to keep a man in everlasting ignorance, that principle is contempt prior to investigation. Herbert Spencer, we could talk about it at all ends, but there's really no need. Last paragraph before we finish today, we need the rest of our time. If you go back, if you go back to page, if you go to page 55, please, last paragraph, powerful paragraph, to just put the stamp on what we just did for the newcomer, for me, for us, of this higher power discussion where we are. Okay? Page 55. Page 55, second full paragraph, it starts with actually we were fooling ourselves. Okay. I hope everyone can find it, page 55. The paragraph starts with actually we're fooling ourselves second full paragraph okay ready grab the yellow highlighter very important for deep down start from with for deep down in every man woman and child is the fundamental idea of god deep down deep down okay end of yellow it may be obscured by calamity by palm by worship of other things but in some form or another it is there for faith in a power greater than ourselves and miraculous demonstrations of that power in human lives are facts as old as man himself we finally saw that faith in some kind of god was a part of our makeup just as much as the feeling we had for a friend grab the yellow highlighter we're almost there highlighting yellow sometimes we had to search fearlessly but he was there Above the word search, you just highlight it in yellow. Sometimes we had to search realistically but he was there. Above the words search please put the number one and circle it. We're going to come back to this. No more yellow highlight. He was as much a fact as we were. Highlight in yellow now, now highlighting yellow, we found the great reality deep down within us in the last analysis it is only there he may be found in yellow up to there in yellow we found the great reality deep down within us continuing yellow in the last analysis there's only there you may be no more yellow and then the rest of the sentence says it was so with us okay so now what you just highlighted above within us see it says we found the great reality deep down within us above within us write the number two and circle it that's a powerful paragraph i may be moved to talk a little bit more with the newcomer with that but but not so much to just you'll see yeah yeah you guys you will be moved just like that so i just shut up okay so now we have the number one we have the number 2. okay the last notes we're going to write for today and then we're gonna end it so if you please turn your big book counterclockwise 90 degrees so the right margin is now facing you is not facing you see just like this right is now chasing you okay so now you're going to write right margin is facing you to the top left of this right margin now put the number one circle it this is referring to the one that we did in the big book right you're gonna Please write only one sentence, like write one line. Don't go to the next line, okay? Number one, circle it. Please write this. Here is where they tell me exactly how to find this power. I read the whole thing so you can space it out. Use only that line, OK? Here is Where They Tell Me Exactly How. here is where they tell me exactly how to find this power here is when they tell you exactly how to find his power underline the word how what they told me what did they say they said they said sometimes we have to search fear let's see how do i find his power i gotta search what is the search through the 12 steps the search is through the 12 steps right here's where they tell me exactly how to find this power in case you're wondering okay and then so where you wrote the number one just the line below it write the number two number two referring to the number three of that in the big book and you can write exactly below the first line the second line every word is the same except we're going to change the word how for where okay so here number two below number one here's Here is where they tell me exactly where to find this pile. Here is what they told me, exactly where, to find. Exact same sentence, except instead of how, where. Here is when they tell you exactly where to find the spot, where, what they tell me deep down within us. Great reality, capital R, capital G, capital R, deep down with us. There's a search through the 12 steps where it eventually ends up being deep down within us. Here is where they tell me exactly where to find this power. We are now finished with the second step, spiritual unmanageability of the first step and the second stuff. And the other 14 pages are available. We took three or four of them, dissected them surgically presented with the spirit to the new person, some considerations and that's it. And Kristen, would you mind please, if you don't mind just put again just today's directions in the big book so if someone didn't get them. So as I have encouraged from the beginning to just start a table of contents at the end of your big book where the first blank pages and just one each session. So because at the beginning we're jumping around when you come to pass the sun you may forget what we did. This will tell you exactly kristen is going to share exactly today's session there we go you can copy that we could save that these are the stuff we did okay thank you very much guys i appreciate you i'll be here for another up to up to about 45 minutes for questions and stuff like that then i got to go to a work appointment um god bless you and a lot of love to you guys mickey come on up please