Step 9 Terrified Me But That’s Where the Miracles Finally Started – Allie R.

About This Speaker Tape

Allison, a member of the Gainesville Classic Group, tells the story of her first drink at 14 in Washington State, a night the cops raided a party of 70 kids and she hid in a closet. From that first drink she knew alcohol meant something different to her than to her friends, and by 16 she was already telling a friend she thought she was an alcoholic. A move to Miami in the 80s turned into nonstop partying at the Doral Country Club with a young chef named George, whom she planned to marry on December 23, 1984.

On September 23, 1984, driving back from a Tiki bar in the Keys in her aunt's borrowed car after daiquiris, she crashed. George was killed. She describes coming to in the hospital, hearing a banshee scream she slowly realized was her own, and being sentenced to ten years with a minimum of two. George's mother refused to push prosecution. She lost her license for life and served six months before a judge who'd sentenced her saw her speak at a SADD rally and let her out. She drank again the first weekend home, convinced she couldn't hurt anyone now that she couldn't drive.

She got sober in 1987 and stayed sober 17 years, raised two daughters, became a nurse, was secretary of her group. A divorce around year 14, then a chaotic romance where her boyfriend became her Higher Power, led her back to a drink. Nothing dramatic happened at first, just the old delusion of control. Within a year it had her by the throat. DUIs, ankle monitors, jail, drinking Listerine on Sundays, lying in her own urine in a blacked-out house. She told her family she would die drunk.

Twenty-five coworker nurses at Northeast Georgia drew straws, and three came to her house with a tech named Bea who dragged her to the hospital. A tough young sponsor made her call every day and work the steps. She learned willingness and gratitude are action words. Two years sober at recording, she describes performing CPR on a stranger on Highway 115 who lived, and getting her youngest daughter, sitting in the room tonight, back.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Chair introduces Allie R. of the Gainesville Classic Group; she thanks her mom, who last saw her pick up a one-year chip in 1988
• 3:00 First drink at 14 at a 70-kid party the cops raided; hiding in a closet, knowing alcohol meant something different to her
• 8:00 Mount St. Helens week, head-on crash as a passenger, scraping glass out of her eye — trying to control consequences, not drinking
• 14:00 Miami at the Doral Country Club, meeting chef George on a Tuesday and moving in Wednesday; planning a December 23 wedding
• 18:00 September 23, 1984: daiquiris at a Tiki bar in the Keys, driving her aunt's car, the last thing she remembers is George chasing her
• 22:00 The aunt sitting on the hospital bed telling her George is dead; the banshee scream she slowly recognized as her own
• 28:00 Suicide plan abandoned when she realizes for the first time in her life she'd hurt someone else — her parents — the way she was hurting
• 35:00 First meeting September 27, 1987; first sponsor tells her the only requirement is the desire not to drink
• 45:00 After 17 years sober, picking up a drink during a toxic romance — bracing for the grip and feeling nothing, the insidious slide begins
• 58:00 Twenty-five coworker nurses draw straws; Bea drags her to the ER before Empire comes on at nine
• 68:00 Five days sober on Highway 115, performing CPR on a stranger named Michael who lives long enough to say goodbye to his five-year-old grandson