Step 8 — Made a List – Chris R. – FOTS Toronto – 2020

About This Speaker Tape

Chris R. maps out the gritty mechanics of Steps 8 and 9, arguing that the only way to stop the universe from kicking back is to clean up the wreckage. He dismantles the idea of waiting years to make amends, instead pushing for urgency and a strict adherence to the Big Book over the 'opinions' of old-timers.

Chris shares the wreckage of his own financial ruins—from owing the IRS to stealing a TV from Walmart—and the emotional weight of a thirteen-year wait to face his first wife. He emphasizes the role of the sponsor as a guardrail, preventing 'knuckleheads' from ambushing ex-girlfriends or making 'disingenuous' amends via scripts. For Chris, the goal isn't just sobriety, but a total freedom where he no longer has to look at every passing cop with suspicion or avoid certain parts of Texas because of the bridges he burned.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Chris opens with a greeting from Ingram, Texas, and a joke about the soreness of the audience's butts.
• 4:30 Discussion on the importance of putting your own name on the Fourth Step inventory.
• 7:15 Laughter: Chris describes his habit of doodling in his notebook during Fifth Steps.
• 11:00 Chris discusses the urgency of amends and the feeling of weight being released.
• 16:45 Advice on avoiding 'ambush' amends to ex-partners and checking motives.
• 21:30 Chris shares the story of paying back the IRS and his experience with a stubborn credit card company.
• 26:00 A detailed account of making amends to his first wife after 13 years and her reaction.
• 31:15 The story of the stolen bow and the tension with his brother-in-law.
• 36:00 The story of the ex-partner in Kerrville and how the amend led to helping the partner's son.
• 41:00 Chris discusses making amends to his deceased father by reading a letter at a fishing spot on the Guadalupe River.
• 45:30 Critique of using 'scripts' for amends, calling them disingenuous.
• 51:00 Story about stealing a TV from Walmart and the process of making restitution.