Step 6 and the Man Who Said He’ll Never Be Entirely Ready – Bob S Jr

About This Speaker Tape

1975, Owasso. A salesman walks into a buyer's office only to find he had already been there two hours prior—a total blackout, a total humiliation. Bob S. spent years as a "convincing liar," chasing a version of success measured in material things and "customer relations" that involved partying and gambling away paychecks. He describes himself as a sick man who thought he was God, running from the responsibilities of fatherhood and marriage until the cobwebs finally cleared.

He found the Big Book to be the only volume he ever read cover to cover, realizing the stories weren't about other people, but a mirror. After years of "fireman bullshit," he discovered the gut-level truth of the program. He describes his recovery not as a return to normalcy—which he views as a rut—but as a constant state of change. Even now, he claims he isn't entirely ready for Step 6, because the challenge of changing his attitude is a daily requirement.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Bob S. opens with a joke about his wife's birthday and shopping.
• 3:15 Laughter: Bob's failed attempt at a joke about an agnostic insomniac.
• 8:40 Bob discusses the 'customer relations' hazard of his job and his absence as a father.
• 12:10 Step 1: Bob reflects on the idea of never having drunk successfully in his life.
• 16:30 Bob describes his relationship with the Big Book and the mirror analogy.
• 21:15 The 'scariest day' of his life: a professional blackout in front of a long-term client.
• 27:40 Bob discusses the 'gut-level truth' and remorse he found in AA meetings.
• 33:10 Step 4: Bob recounts a transformative experience with a stranger at a men's retreat in DeWitt.
• 38:20 Amends: Bob describes the relief of getting 'square' with his father before his death.
• 44:10 Bob reflects on the role of women in recovery and his wife's growth in Al-Anon.