Step 5 Took an Hour and a Few Embarrassing Things – Tom W.

About This Speaker Tape

South Coast Roundup - 2013

August 18 1976 marks the day Tom W. stopped drinking a date he anchors to Gerald F.'s nomination for President. A Jesuit priest and former high school teacher Tom W. describes a life of 'piss and vinegar' and verbal abuse fueled by blackouts rooted in a family history where alcoholism was coded as 'nerves' or being a 'character.' He navigates the jarring transition from the dark depressed rooms of Berkeley to the aggressively happy clapping meetings of Los Angeles. Through the lens of a 'pessimist with a better attitude,' Tom W. explores the slow grind of the steps the danger of 'dancing with the gorilla,' and the realization that recovery is a long-term project of learning a new emotional language moving from the physical wreckage of the first year to the spiritual navigation of the third and beyond.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:45 Tom W. establishes his sobriety date based on Gerald F.'s nomination.
• 3:12 Discussion of family 'codes' for alcoholism in Swedish and Irish lineages.
• 6:20 The three phases of the disease: Fun, Fun plus Problems, and Problems.
• 10:15 Tom W. describes the 'roller coaster' of emotions and the struggle to find a new emotional vocabulary.
• 14:40 Laughter: The 'odiferous' encounter at the White Flag men's stag meeting in LA.
• 18:20 Mention of the 'gift of desperation' and the advice to 'make your bed and get a job' before theology.
• 22:10 The slow, resentment-fueled process of completing the Fourth Step.
• 26:45 Reflection on the 'daily reprieve' and the ambush of character defects.
• 31:10 Analysis of Step One (no hope) versus Step Two (some hope).
• 35:50 The 'Dancing with the Gorilla' metaphor for the disease and Al-Anon's role.