Step 5 Brought Him a Major Spiritual Experience – Brian H.

Thanks to the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous outlined in the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous, which is the program of Alcoholics Anonymous, not to be mistaken for the fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous, I've recovered from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body. Thank God it was seemingly hopeless because I thought it was surely hopeless when I got here. And it's a pleasure to be here. It's an honor to be here. I can't think of anything I'd rather be doing to tell you the truth. This is one of those things that I've come to get to do. I think that's kind of the evolution of the process. We have to come here for whatever reason. We're forced to come here, whether we're losing something or trying to get something back or somebody makes us come here or we're court ordered or whatever reason. Parents, who knows? Whatever reason, we have to come here. Somewhere down the road, I think I realized I needed to be here. And then it wasn't too long down the road that I wanted to be here. And now I realize I get. I get to be here. We're chosen. It's just a very special honor that we get to do this kind of stuff. And thank you for inviting us. So I usually start this thing off with a joke. Laugh if you don't like it. Woman's on her way to the seminar and gets pulled over by the police. And the guy says, you know, you were doing 50 in a school zone. And she goes, you're kidding. And he says, no. He says, you know, our clocks are doing 50. You know, it's 25 miles an hour in the school zone. And she goes, well, I don't think I was speeding. He says, well, I need to see your driver's license registration. She says, I can't open the glove box. There's a loaded pistol in there. And he says, well, I need you to get out of the car. She says, well, I can't get out of the car. I've been drinking all morning and I can hardly walk. He says, well, give me your keys because I'm going to need to search the vehicle. I can't let you do that. There's a dead body in the trunk. And he backs away from the vehicle and he calls for backup. And backup comes and the sergeant comes. And the sergeant says, ma'am, I'm going to have to let you get out of the car. And she gets out of the car. He says, is it all right if I give you a roadside sobriety test? She says, sure. She passes with flying colors. He says, can I search the vehicle? She said, here's the keys. Help yourself. He searches the vehicle. No gun, no body. He says, let me tell you something. You know, my officer just said, you pulled you over. He said, you've been drinking all morning, shot a guy with a gun in the glove box, and his body was in the trunk. She said, I bet the liar told you I was speeding too. You know? You know? You know? So we like to have fun. What a great crowd. How many of you all, I'm an alcoholic. My name is Brian Haynes. My home group is the Thursday night study group in Sunrise, Florida. How many of you all have either been to a Joe and Charlie seminar or have listened to a set of Joe and Charlie? Wow. Okay. You're our crowd. You speak to the choir. Both of mine and Pat's lives have been affected by Joe and Charlie. We're thrilled to be able to do this. We're not doing this because we think we're particularly good at it or particularly deserving of it necessarily. Just because in our area where Joe and Charlie came to every year, and we enjoyed going and listening to them and bringing newcomers every year, we wanted to make sure that the tradition of that seminar carried on past Joe and Charlie stopping to do them and then later passing. And it was out of that desire to continue that so that new people would continue to be exposed to it that we chose to step in and do it. Not because, like I said, you know, any other reason. I don't think we're near as good at it, and I don't think we're near as deserving of it, but we are absolutely thrilled to do it and thrilled to, you know, to see another group of people. We'll probably make some new friends this weekend, I hope. And we certainly enjoy doing this. And again, we do it because our lives and the lives of the people that we've sponsored have been affected by it. We're certainly not, and by the way, for those of you who have been to Joe and Charlie seminars and have listened to Joe and Charlie CDs and tapes, you're probably not going to learn anything new here this weekend. There's not very much that we know about the program of Alcoholics Anonymous. That Joe and Charlie did not impart to us. And so we're probably just going to impart that same information to you. And just like Charlie always did, we like to get this out of the way right up front. I am just a member of Alcoholics Anonymous, just a drunk like any other drunk. I am not a guru of the big book or the program of Alcoholics Anonymous. Pat does not profess to be either. We are just two drunks who were, whose lives were changed by the information that we had. We are just two drunks who were, whose lives were changed by the information that we had. We are just two drunks who were, whose lives were changed by the information that we had. We are just two drunks who were, whose lives were changed by the information that we had. We are just two drunks who were, whose lives were changed by the information that we had. We are just two drunks who were, whose lives were changed by the information that we had. But we have a lot of information in this text. And as a result of that, we've made it our responsibility to learn the text as well and carry the message of the text to new people. And it's in that spirit that we're doing this. But not, you know, not for any other reason. And we are going to be here a while. You know, we're going to get to know each other. We're going to be pretty cozy by Sunday morning. And I don't want you to be uncomfortable if you feel the need to get up and move around. We're going to go until 9 o'clock tonight, two hours without a break. Don't feel like you have to sit there in your chair. It's not a sign of respect. If you need to move around or get a cup of coffee, please, please get up out of your seat and do so. And I think Pat's already started off with a joke. Sometimes we're going to take a little break at the beginning of a session or the end of a session, and we're going to stop and we're going to tell a little joke. Some of the jokes are funny, mostly Pat's. Some of them aren't. I would appreciate it if you'd laugh anyway. We all feel a little better if you laugh, even at the jokes that aren't funny. And I think that ultimately, though, you know, this is a weekend of learning. This is a text-heavy, reading-heavy weekend. And we like to break it up a little bit with some humor. We like to make sure that we're not taking ourselves or each other too seriously. And so hopefully we'll have some fun while we're learning something about our text, Alcoholics Anonymous. And that's it. And I think if we can all approach the weekend that way, we'll all learn a lot about our text and have a little fun doing so. And before we get started, before we get into the literature, I just want to tell you how my life and maybe how our lives were affected by Joe and Charlie and how I came about the information. And, you know, after a nasty divorce and a suicide attempt in the late 80s, 89, it took me two years to come to a physical point where, in a blackout on my way home, getting home one night, I assaulted my wife in front of my two kids. And, you know, we'll talk about that a little bit later. But it was probably the worst day of my life that turned out to be the best day of my life. And I was arrested that night and coughed and taken from my house in front of my children and in front of my neighbors and landed in a hotel room down in Fort Lauderdale. A days in, it's now a La Quinta that I get to drive by all the time and be reminded about that night. And I spent three weeks in that hotel room trying to drink and partake in some other outside issues that come at about $100 a pop. And in the end of that three-week run, because I had no, I didn't have the guts to pick up the gun again. And at the end of that three-week run, I think what I had was what we probably all have when we come here, is that moment. I remember that moment. I remember that moment. I remember that moment. I remember that moment. I remember that moment of clarity. You know, that moment of God's grace that falls on us and gives us that window of opportunity where the ego is deflated to a point where we can say, please help me. I need help. And I reached out to my sister who was in Alcoholics Anonymous. And my sister took me to my first ever AA meeting the very next day. I don't remember much about the meeting, to tell you the truth. I remember it was a big book meeting. I have no idea what was discussed in that meeting. The thing that I remember the most was at the end of the meeting, the guy who was chairing, who looked just like Papa Smurf, by the way, I found out later his name was Lee May, God rest his soul. But I mean, he had the white beard, the white hair. He was just, he was Papa Smurf. And Papa Smurf got up and asked if there was anybody in the room that wanted to start a new way of life. And I don't know if he'd have asked that question any other way if I would have stood up. I mean, give up the fight and pick up a white, I don't know if it would have got me up. Pick up a white chip, surrender, I don't know. But this man asked if there was anyone in the room who wanted to start a new way of life. And I jumped up out of my chair and I picked up a white chip that night. It was March 21st. I was in the room. It was March 26th, 1991. It's the only white chip I've ever picked up. And my journey started that day for whatever it was worth. And my sister took me around to her crowd and I kind of fell in with the don't drink and go to Denny's crowd, which was very popular at that time. Come to the 830s, you know, get dressed up, go to the 830s and go to Denny's afterwards. And, you know, I heard all the suggestions that we hear, great suggestions, the 90 and 90 and don't pick up the first one and keep coming back until the miracle happens and all that. And that stuff. And the truth is I lived in the rooms. The Fifth Chapter Club kind of become my home. I mean, I had a restraining order. I couldn't go near the house I lived in. So I was living in the back room of my mother's and I was at the Fifth Chapter Club when I wasn't at work. I was there at 8 in the morning. I was there at noon. I was there at 530. I stayed until 11. I was garbage guy, you know. At that time it was the ABCs, the ashtrays, brooms and chairs and garbage guy, you know. And garbage guy got to stay late. So I had nowhere to go but Denny's. And so I stayed late. And I was there. And I learned something about Alcoholics Anonymous. And I learned what it means to suffer from untreated alcoholism in the rooms. And my life did not get better while I was in the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous. I did not feel better. The only thing I felt better was anger and fear and anxiety. And the five-year-old kid that was scared to death when he went to school in the morning was now back but 36 years old. And I came to a place in recovery where I knew I couldn't live with the way I was anymore and I knew I couldn't drink. And the same place I was in the hotel room three months before where this isn't killing the pain anymore and I can't stop. But now I'm in the rooms and this isn't helping the pain anymore and I know I can't drink. And I'm stuck at that same turning point again. And I let everybody in the rooms know at the 10 p.m. that meeting when I was picking up my 90-day red chip what I felt about all of you. And I really thought you were all a bunch of losers and that, you know, this was some kind of cult and, you know, I feel like I'm stuck in some kind of bad Saturday Night Live skit or something. So I'm going to go to the hotel room and I'm going to go to the hotel room. And I'm going to go to the hotel room and I'm going to go to the hotel room. I'm like I want to share, you know. I don't want to share. I'm not Stuart Smalley or, you know, and the next guy that hugs me I'm knocking them down. You know, what I mean, that's just, I've had about enough of this. I mean, this girl just shared that she relapsed on cough syrup last night for God's sake. Somebody buy her a bottle of vodka. You know, I mean, I was just, I just had lost it. And fortunately for me there was somebody in the room that recognized untreated alcoholism and that's what it was. I was dying a slow death in the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous. And Brian this time, Tall, thin, long-haired, skinny guy approached me and asked me if I wanted to answer. He said, there's a way out of this deal. And we got in his little Mazda behind the Fifth Chapter Club and we read the doctor's opinion. And the light bulb went off. The light went off. It was the first time in my life I knew what was wrong with me. Up until that point, I thought I was crazy. Anybody else? I mean, how else could you explain that behavior? You know, I traded a wife twice. You know, I traded my job. I've traded my freedom. I've traded homes for the ability to keep drinking. I mean, that's insanity. So up until that point, I thought I was crazy. And finally, I know I'm not crazy. I'm sick. Did I suffer from a two-fold illness? And my sobriety took off from that point on. I mean, I wasn't afraid of a fourth step. If you've got something for me, I'm in. You know, give me an answer to what's going on here. I'm ready. If you'd have told me to shave my head, put this robe on, here's your flowers, go out there and jump up and down with the tambourine, I would have said, which corner? You know, so I wasn't. I wasn't afraid of the work. I just wanted to get well. And fortunately for me, you know, the process worked. At the end of my, we'll talk more about my journey in recovery, but I had a major spiritual experience at my fifth step. And I've never found it necessary. I mean, the obsession was lifted for me after my fifth step, which was about six months into this deal. So I was very, very blessed to have Brian in the room that night. And so I'm passionate about the information. And Brian passed the information he had from a seminar he had been at. And it's the only information I've ever known. And so I've kind of passed that information. I guess you got it from Joe and Charlie. I got it from Brian. And I pass it on the same way. The miracle of that story really is that the seminar that he's talking about that I went to was just about a month or two before. And he tells that story like I saved his life. And I promise you that the opposite was true. I was. I was in that. Some of you probably says there's a lot of Joe and Charlie people here. I was in the big book asshole phase of my recovery. Nobody. And I was not making friends in Alcoholics Anonymous. I was. I mean, I they called me Big Book Brian and Deerfield and Pompano Beach. And it was not a term of endearment. It was. I mean, it was. I mean, I I had gone to this big book seminar and I had learned what I found out. I thought, I mean, this is just the way that I conceptualize it at the time. Alcoholics Anonymous. Anonymous had been lying to me for two years. You know, I've been good. That's that's just how I had it. Now I have it differently today. I kind of see, you know, what really went on there. But I had it that Alcoholics Anonymous had been lying to me for two years and I could have died from this disease. And nobody told me the truth about what my problem was and what a solution was. And and so I was not. And that's how I was. And that's and I carried myself that way in Alcoholics Anonymous, much to the absolute disgust of most of the people who had been there. And I was. I was not the one who had known me those two years. And and I was not making friends in that one. The problem was, though, is that I was now willing to do something. And I needed people in AA then more than I had needed them those first two years. Because now I finally knew what my problem was and what the solution was. And I was willing to take action. But how I was being and nobody was worried about me. I had two years of sobriety. They were focused on the newcomer. They were working to the next one. They weren't worried about this jerk who's spouting this crap. You know, they just weren't. They weren't worried about me. They were worried about me. And and so I needed somebody to work with more than anything in the world. And if Pat if Pat and I had never had that conversation, it never started sitting down and going over the book. I don't even know that I would be here today. And the truth is what I did then and I probably did for the next 10 to 20 people that I sponsored is that I would have the I had the tapes from that Joe and Charlie seminar that I had just gone to. And I would listen to the tapes and mark up my big book on Monday night. And then I would go over to Pat's house and run it all down to him on Tuesday night. And he had no idea that he was like this great experiment. It was the first one, you know. But I needed him more than he needed me. And by the time Pat probably was at his fifth step, I had found a new sponsor and a new home group and have my feet firmly planted in Alcoholics Anonymous again myself. And so I think that that that meeting saved both of our lives. Thank you. Thank you. I guess if we're going to talk about the text Alcoholics Anonymous, the first thing we want to do is go back to the beginning of the book and talk a little bit about the history of the text and the history of Alcoholics Anonymous. So we're going to start this thing on in the forward to the second edition. That'll be familiar to any of you other Joe and Charlie attendees. That's page XV, Roman numeral 15. I think right here is one of the first things I kind of have to just stop and remind myself of something. The language used in the text Alcoholics Anonymous often refers to the hopeless nature of alcoholism in a fashion that is common and understood. And I've never lived in that time. Like I, you know, alcoholism has been around for thousands of years. As far as I can tell. I've hit the lottery. I was born in a time and have alcoholism at a time when there is such a thing as recovery from alcoholism, which is a new thing, which is new since the 1930s. This text was written at a time when that was not the case. And so even if I wasn't aware of Alcoholics Anonymous or didn't know alcohol, I knew since the time that I was alive that people with problems with drugs and alcohol went somewhere to get well. That's always been a part of the water that I've seen. That's always been the water that I've swam in my whole life. In the time that this text is written, alcoholism is hopeless and if you have it, you are doomed. And the language that this text uses expresses that. And it's very humbling to know that I have been born and have alcoholism at a time when this gift is available to me. When so many had no opportunity and no ability to get well leading up to this time. At the very bottom of this page, forward of the second edition. It says the spark that was to flare into the first AA group was struck at Akron, Ohio in June 1935 during a talk between a New York stockbroker, we know that to be Bill Wilson, and an Akron physician. We know the physician to be Dr. Bob Smith. Six months earlier, the broker had, we're treating him pretty good calling him a stockbroker, right? He's really a stock speculator, right? Bill made his money selling fast talk to slow thinking people. Okay. He was a stock speculator. He was a salesman is really what he was. He was a salesman. His job was to arrange groups of people to buy into companies. And he did a really good job at it and made some people some money, we're going to see. He says the broker had been relieved of his drink obsession by, and they're going to mention a few things here. A sudden spiritual experience following a meeting with an alcoholic friend who had been in contact with the Oxford groups of that day. He had also been greatly helped by the late Dr. William D. Silkwood. And so forth. So Bill mentions the spiritual experience which came to him through his friend we know as Ebby T. Ebby T. visited Bill after having a spiritual experience and being sober for a couple of months. And Bill knew that Ebby was a real alcoholic. And he knew that, he used to say to himself, he used to say if I ever get as bad as Ebby Thatcher, I'm going to quit drinking, right? So he knew Ebby was a real drunk. The fact that Ebby was sober for a couple of months was amazed, Bill was amazed by this. Bill was amazed by this fact. And when Ebby visited Bill, he shared with Bill two vital pieces of information that are in the program of Alcoholics Anonymous. He told Bill that he had had a spiritual experience and that he knew some people who were having spiritual experiences. And that this experience was resolving the drink issue. It was relieving him of the insanity of the notion of drinking. And that he also, so he brought him the solution to alcoholism, which is the spiritual experience. He also brought to Bill the practical program of alcoholism. And he told Bill the practical program of action that the Oxford groupers were carrying. The Oxford groups had this four steps and four absolutes and four other tenets that they were practicing. And if people practiced these steps, they would have a spiritual experience. And it just so happened some alcoholics kind of got caught up in that and found that they were able to stay away from a drink on the other side of that experience. So Ebby is sharing this message to Bill. He's bringing Bill two vital important pieces of information. That a spiritual experience is an answer to alcoholism. And that there is a practical, simple program of action that he can take to have a spiritual experience. And Ebby had taken it and the result was self-evident. That was not all of the information that Bill needed to know that day though. It says he was also greatly helped by the late Dr. William D. Silkworth, a New York specialist in alcoholism. Who is now accounted as no less than a medical saint by AA members. And whose story of the early days of our society appears in this book. And it's in the next pages. From this doctor, the broker learned the grave nature of alcoholism. Before Ebby ever visited with Bill, Bill had been in the town's hospital several times. And he learned on his second visit there that he was sick both bodily and mentally. Kind of the way that Pat and I learned it in Alcoholics Anonymous. The doctor suggested to Bill, he had this theory. And Dr. Silkworth is not an alcoholic himself. But he treated alcoholics. With great love and great compassion for our plight. And he was trying to figure, he couldn't figure. He was just studying us and looking at us and treating us and watching us do it again and again. And he started to develop some theories about what was going on with us. And he theorized that our problem was a two-fold problem. That we have a problem of the mind for sure. But also of the body. And he theorized that something was abnormal in the way that alcoholics responded or reacted to alcohol. And he theorized that when an alcoholic takes a drink of alcohol. That a physical craving is triggered within the body. We would call that a physical addiction today, right? A physical craving is triggered in the body once an alcoholic starts to drink. And once they trigger that craving, they absolutely cannot control how much they drink. And he basically theorizes this. And he started on listening to the stories that alcoholics had been telling him about once they took a drink. The second part of that problem is sort of consistent with the way medicine, science, religion and society had always looked at the problem. That there was something wrong with the mind of an alcoholic. But Dr. Silkworth did not refer to it as sin or moral character. He referred to it as an insanity. As a form of mental insanity. So he referred to it more as a medical problem. A mental problem. Rather than a sin or will or character. And he thought that somehow just before taking a drink. An alcoholic's brain believes something that's not true. Believes a lie about that first drink. And they have a form of insanity that compels them to take that first drink. Knowing full well that it's going to turn out. Even though there's no evidence to support that whatsoever. Right? And so the alcoholic cons themselves. And the brain cons them into taking that first drink. And of course that first drink sets off the allergy. And the alcoholic is off to the races again. Well Dr. Silkworth had already shared this theory with Bill before Ebby came. So when Ebby comes and brings Bill the news of the solution. Which is a spiritual experience. And the practical program of action. Which became our 12 steps. Bill Wilson is the first person that we see in any written history anywhere. Who knows all three pieces of the puzzle of treating alcoholism. In order to solve the problem alcoholism. We needed to know three things. What is the problem? What is the solution? And how do we bring about that solution? Ebby brought Bill the second and third. Bill already knew the first from Dr. Silkworth. Problem, solution, program of action. And we're going to see that this text is laid out exactly like that. It's going to help us identify the problem. Then it's going to identify the solution. And then it's going to go through the planned program of action. That we need in order to get that solution. It says from this doctor he learned the grave nature of alcoholism. Though he could not accept the tenants or steps of the Oxford groups. He was convinced of the need of moral inventory. Confession of personality defects. Restitution to those harmed. Helpfulness to others. And the necessity and the belief and the dependence upon God. So Bill basically we can see a reflection of our 12 steps there. Their third step being surrender. Our first step ends up the surrender step. But you can see the steps being born out of that. Especially the six step program that they were using before. Surrender, inventory, confession, restitution, helpfulness to others. And belief and a dependence upon God. So we can see the steps being born out of that. And we know Bill works the steps. We'll see in his story later in Towns Hospital. His third time it says in the book. But actually his fourth time in detox. And Bill now goes forth after leaving Towns Hospital. For the fourth time. Knowing that he has a solution to alcoholism. Believing he has a solution to alcoholism. Finally for the first time in his life. Somebody has told him what's wrong with him. And how to recover. Like I said up until the point I got in here. I thought I was crazy. I'm sure Bill did too. You know he thought he was nuts. And you know a couple of second, third time he was in detox. He was pronounced incurable. So now he's off to carry this message. Of this cure for alcoholism that he has. And he spends six months dragging drunks off of bar stools. To these Oxford group meetings. You know they're loving that. And carrying the message that Ebby brought him. Now let's not be fooled by what Ebby was carrying. He was carrying a religious message of recovery. From the Oxford groups. First century religious organization. Biggest of the time. And Bill's carrying this religious message. To these guys on bar stools. And telling them save yourself. I've got a solution. Find God. And I'm going to tell you where to find him. And take him to the Oxford groups. And these drunks are going along. But he's having zero success. Nobody's buying what Bill's selling. And I can't imagine me sitting on a bar stool drunk. And having some guy come in and try to sell me Jesus Christ. And come on and I'll save your butt. And you'll stay sober forever. And basically that's what he's selling. And he goes to Lois. And he's a little disappointed. He's a little down. He says I don't know if this thing works or not. He says nobody seems to want it. He says nobody seems to want what I have. And Lois says Bill. It's working for you. You know you're six months sober. You know your life is going. Why don't you go talk to your buddy Silkworth. And ask him what he thinks about it. And he does just that. He goes over and sees Dr. Silkworth. And Dr. Silkworth says yeah. I hear the stuff you're pulling out there. Pulling these guys off of bar stools. He says why don't you do what we did for you. You know. Why don't you share your experience with the problem of alcoholism. Why don't you tell him how you attempted to quit and you couldn't. Because of the obsession of the mind. Why don't you tell him how you tried to control your drinking. And you couldn't because of the allergy of the body. Why don't you give them the good information that I gave you. And then see if they want a solution. So Bill takes that to heart. And he's brought in on a business deal. In Akron. They put him into a partnership to take over a company. A national tire and rubber company subsidiary in Akron. And Bill's promised that if he can get this business. Proxy battle to go their way. And get the shareholders to vote for them. That he's promised the presidency of the company. So he goes out to Akron with his business partners. But the deal doesn't go their way. Probably because Bill wasn't qualified to run the company. But beside the point. The deal doesn't go their way. And the business partners go back to New York. And Bill decides to stay another day. And see if he can't save the deal. And then we all know the story of the Mayflower Hotel. And he's standing in the Mayflower Hotel. Doesn't he have enough money to pay for his room. And starts hearing the crowd start to roar in the bar room. And the voices start. The committee gathers. And the story and the vision for you. If you ever want to hear. I just love reading that. That conversation that he has with himself. That all of us have had with ourselves many times. Where the three voices get together. And decide whether we're going to stay sober or not. Standing at that turning point once again. And he's standing there a little depressed. Because he doesn't have the money. And the deal didn't come through. And maybe I should just go sit with some of my kind in there. And maybe I'll drink a soda at the bar. Or maybe I can just have one. Being six months sober. Maybe I could get away with just one or two drinks. And Bill for the first time in his life sees the truth about his drinking. And he knows dang well. He's going to go in that cross that threshold. And be drunk before he leaves that bar. He knows the truth. And that is sanity isn't it. The ability to see the truth before we pick up. Insanity is the inability to see the truth before we walk in there and pick up that drink. And instead he turns. And he sees the church directory in the lobby of the Mayflower Hotel. And he starts going down the directory. And sees the word Tunks. Reverend Tunks. And to go for a Tunk is to go for a stroll in Vermont. And he catches his eye. And he calls Reverend Tunks. Just happens to be affiliated with the Oxford groups. You know. And I can't believe it. And I can just imagine Tunks on the other end. I'm a rum hound from New York. And I think I have a cure for alcoholism. Do you know any drunks I can work with? And he says no I don't know any. He says but I might know a few people that might. And he gives him a list of people to call. And Henrietta Cyberling is down on that list. He knows the Firestones. He knows the Cyberlings from some business deals he's done before. And he calls Henrietta. He makes a few phone calls. And finally gets Henrietta. And says to Henrietta. I'm a rum hound from New York. And I think I have a cure for alcoholism. Do you know any alcoholics I can work with? And she says yes I do. And she thinks he's the answer to their prayers. They've been praying over a gentleman named Dr. Bob Smith for two years. Trying to get him sober. And have had no luck. And she says get your butt over here. I'm going to get on the phone with Ann Smith. And we're going to get Dr. Bob over here where you can talk to him. And she calls Ann. And she says well it's Mother's Day. I'd love to bring Dr. Bob over there. Dr. Bob has just come home with a potted plant. And he's potted underneath the kitchen table. Too drunk to get him over there. But I'm going to coffee him up. I'm going to sober him up. And I'm going to get him over there whether he likes it or not. And fighting tooth and nail he finally agrees. I'm going to give this rum hound from New York five minutes of my time. When we get over there. And I'm out of there. The next morning by the way. So I know how Dr. Bob's feeling. So she brings Dr. Bob over. The next morning. The two of them go into the study. They don't come out for five hours. And Dr. Bob says this is the first guy I ever talked to that knew what he was talking about when it came to alcoholism. You know Bill didn't go there to save Dr. Bob. Bob says I don't know what you're going to tell me a well trained physician. What are you going to teach me that I don't already know. He says you know I didn't come here to save you. I came here to stay sober. And he tells Dr. Bob. His story. He doesn't talk about Dr. Bob's drinking at all. He talks about his story. One alcoholic to another. That identification that took place. See there's where Ebby and Bill. That's why Bill was able to listen to Ebby. Bill drank with Ebby Thatcher. They were childhood buddies. He said if Ebby could get sober anybody could get sober. If I ever got as bad as Ebby he said I'd quit. Right. And there's Ebby in front of him two months sober. He's impressed. He's sober. He's telling Bob his story. This is what I had a business deal. Promising deal. I'm going to make a load of money. The deal's two days away. I pick up a drink. I never make it to the deal. I blow the whole deal. Dr. Bob says damn that's what's been happening to me. Yeah I promised my wife I'm on my way home. I'm going to be home. Start dinner. I'll be home in 20 minutes. I stop by the tavern. I have a drink. I never show up. Damn man that's exactly what's happened to me. And he gets his head yeah. Yeah that's exactly how my life's been going. And he identifies. He connects with Bill Wilson. Dr. Bob already knows the solution. He's been going to the Oxford groups for two years. He already knows it. We know that's Mother's Day 1935 when the two of them met. An epic day. Probably the most important 12-step call except for mine. In history. The significance right. The significance of the meeting is that Bill gets the steps in order. And he does. He's not second stepping Dr. Bob. See there's no argument. The battle's already been fought about whether this is about God or about not drinking. Right. And that's the two camps right. Is it about not drinking or is it about finding God. It's not which camp to bring him to. It's which camp to bring him to first. Right. Let's tell him what the problem is. Let's get him identifying. Let's tell him our story. And then tell him the solution. Bill had it backwards before. He was second-stepping everybody and nobody was buying. Once somebody understood, once Bob understood the grave nature of the illness, he was able to go after it like he never did before. Prior to his journey to Akron, the broker had worked hard with many alcoholics from the theory that only an alcoholic could help an alcoholic, but he had succeeded in only keeping himself sober himself. The broker had gone to Akron on a business venture which had collapsed, leaving him greatly in fear he might start drinking again. He suddenly realized that in order to save himself, he must carry his message to another alcoholic. That alcoholic turned out to be the Akron physician. We know that to be Dr. Bob. The physician had repeatedly tried spiritual means to resolve his alcoholic dilemma, but had failed. But when the broker gave him Dr. Silkworth's description of alcoholism and its hopelessness, the physician began to perceive the spiritual remedy for his malady with a willingness he had never been able to muster. He sobered never to drink again up to the moment of his death in 1950. This seemed to prove that the alcoholism of the alcoholic was not a natural phenomenon. It proved that one alcoholic could affect another as no non-alcoholic could. It also indicated that strenuous work one alcoholic with another was vital to permanent recovery. So Bill learned a couple of things in those six, seven months that he was messing around there. One, that it's vital to work with another alcoholic, that he was staying sober whether anybody was getting it or not, and that he needed to get that first step up front. He needed to tell him the grave nature of alcoholism and get him to identify with the obsession and the allergy and then go into the solution. So for six months Bill's 12 stepping people, only he doesn't have the program in the proper order. He gets the program in the proper order and Dr. Bob gets sober. Now Dr. Bob and Bill Wilson are sitting around Akron, Ohio and eventually Bob says to Bill, hey Bill, don't you think we ought to find some alcoholics to work with? And Bill says, well yeah, I think we do, but I don't know any alcoholics in Akron. Bob, do you? And he says, well, I'll call over to the hospital and see if they've got a drunk tank over there. We'll see if they can connect us with anybody. So Dr. Bob makes a phone call to the nurse over at the Akron City Hospital. And the nurse answers the phone and Dr. Bob says, I've got a fellow here from New York. We haven't answered alcoholism. Do you have any drunks over there that we can come talk to? And the nurse says, well, we sure do, Dr. Bob. By the way, have you tried this solution on yourself yet? . . Dr. Bob didn't like this too much because he didn't know that people knew about his drinking. . But he says, yes, I did and it seems to be working quite well. And she says, well, we have a fresh one here. We just sedated him so you can't talk to him right now. He blackened the eye of one of the nurses earlier, but why don't you come over in the morning? He says, we'll do that. We'll come over first thing in the morning. Why don't you stick him in a private room so when we get over there. So the thing is is that most of the time alcoholics are being treated in hospitals. They're either under some other diagnosis or they're in some kind of basement or ward. Maybe it's the end of a hallway where they just stick a lot of beds or a basement or an old room and they just stick a lot of beds and they're being treated on the cheap. The hospital is doing the best they can, but there's just as very little that they can do. But they know that an alcoholic can die without treatment. And so very often there's just a ward with maybe 20 drunks in it at any given time. And so they're just going to stick a lot of beds in there. And what they would do is if they knew that they were going to lose one, if you were in a hospital and you were being treated, if they knew that you were going to die, they would let you die with some decency and some dignity and they would move you to a private room. So Bill Dotson wakes up. He went to sleep in a ward and woke up in a private room. And knowing what this common practice is. So Bill and Bob come over. They're in a room. They come and they talk with Bill Dotson in this private room. And they do the same thing that Bill did with Dr. Bob. They shared about their own experience drinking and what they learned originally from Dr. Silkworth about the hours of the body, obsession of the mind. And they shared stories about how they tried to control their drinking and found they could not and how they tried to quit their drinking and found they could not and how the doctor theorized that this was a two-part illness, an illness of the body and an illness of the mind and how they were powerless over alcohol and how they found escape through a spiritual experience. And Bill Dotson actually thought he was hallucinating. He later told his wife the story of these two men coming to visit him. And he actually shared it with her as though he had dreamt it. But Bill and Bob had come back and they were standing down at the end of the hall. And he says, there they are. So Bill Dotson, AA number three, says, he becomes AA number three. He says, hence the two men set to work almost frantically upon alcoholics arriving in the ward of the Akron City Hospital. Their first case, a desperate one, recovered immediately and became AA number three. He never had another drink. This work at Akron continued through the summer of 35. There were many failures, but there was an occasional heartening success. We talk about the successes in Alcoholics Anonymous. As a matter of fact, we enumerate them, AA number three, AA number four, the first woman AA. We have their names. Sometimes even their stories in the back of the book. But I think that Dr. Bob and Bill Wilson and Bill Dotson and maybe some of those other early timers learned as much from the people that they failed with as they did with the people that they had success with. This was very, very new in this stage. And they really weren't sure what worked and what didn't work. So I think we owe as much to the failures as we do to the successes. They were using the sauerkraut juice and honey was their favorite. And that's what worked. That's one of the things they continued. You can imagine what they tried. Other than that, one of them would just drop dead once and say, oh, Jesus, let's not do that anymore. Let's stick with the sauerkraut juice and honey. I'm sure one was for the vitamins and the other one was to make it drinkable. There were many failures, but there was an occasional heartening success. When the broker returned to New York in the fall of 1935, the first AA group had actually been formed, though no one realized it at the time. There was no such thing as Alcoholics Anonymous at the time. So Bill eventually has to return. And he leaves behind the very first AA group. But Bill comes back to New York where he had no success sobering up drunks for six months. But now he's got the program in order. And it says a second small group promptly took shape in New York. So he returns to New York and he starts working with drunks with the formula in the proper order. And drunks start getting sober in New York, although a little slower than they did in Akron. But they started getting sober in New York as well. And so the first AA group, Bill comes back to New York. The first group was in Akron. The second group was in New York. And then some folks came down from Cleveland and learned about the program in Akron and brought that back to Cleveland. And the same thing was happening in New York. People were picking up the basic ideas and then taking them to other places. And AA groups started springing up eventually all over the place. He says, we followed in 1937 with the start of a third in Cleveland. Besides these, there were scattered alcoholics who had picked up the basic ideas in Akron or New York who were trying to form groups in other cities. By late 1937, a number of members having substantial sobriety time behind them was sufficient to convince the membership that a new light had entered the dark world of the alcoholic. So now you've got about 37, Bill likes to rhyme numbers in our history, he always says 40 or 100. But there was about 37 probably at the very first ever group conscious of Alcoholics Anonymous. They now want to decide what are we going to do with the message. We think we have something that works for the group. For recovery of alcoholism, what do we want to do with it? I mean, do we want to just keep it? I mean 37 is a pretty good number. You know, do we just want to keep it locally? Or do we want to take it nationally? Or do we want to sell it? You know, what do we want to do with it? And they decided to do a few different things. And one is that, not that we're grandiose or not, but they decided to open up a chain of hospitals across the country. Now mind you, this is not just Bill and Bob. They get about 20 of those first 40. Together, at probably the very first group conscious meeting. And this is what the 20 of them decide. Surely Bob is going to run the hospitals. I'm sure. And then they were going to send out a group of missionaries. And surely Bill was going to be the lead salesman for the missionaries out there recruiting the patients for the hospitals. And the third thing they decided to do was write a book. And one of the reasons for the book that came about was they obviously needed money to finance their new endeavor. And the Oxford groups were putting plenty of books out there and making a lot of money on the books they were writing. Why not us? You know, we put a book out there. We could make a fortune on it. It would finance everything. And we all know the story behind that. They were lucky to be able to give the book away for a long time. It wasn't until Jack Alexander put us on the map that anybody really had any real interest in the book. Even when he went to Rockefeller, Rockefeller said, look, the only thing that could ruin this thing is money. And didn't give them very much money. Gave them a little bit of seed money. But not a lot of money. But not a lot. And one of the guys we never mention in the book, I don't know why I just thought of this, but one of the guys we never mention is Hank Parkhurst. Who really, if it wasn't for him, this book would have never been published. And he didn't stay sober. His story didn't get in the second edition. It was in the first edition. We owe Hank a, I mean, promoter extraordinaire. You know? I mean, Hank's the guy, and the archive guys probably have some of the old stock certificates that he wrote up. He went to a stationery store and bought blank stock certificates. And wrote them up and sold them to the AA members. And AA members bought them stock certificates for a book that hadn't been written yet. I mean, now that's a promoter. That's a salesman there, right? We're buying stock in something that doesn't exist yet. Right? But if not for that, we're not here. That's right. That's right. And the other reason they wanted to write the book is they already saw the message, the word of mouth message starting to degrade. You know? And they saw that it was time to change it a little bit. I said, we know how that works. I tell him something. By the time it gets to the other side of the room, it's a totally different message. And they saw that it was time to put the message in print. And maintain the integrity of the message. So, it was now time for struggling groups of thought to place their message and unique experience before the world. This determination bore fruit in the spring of 1939 by the publication of this volume. The membership had then reached about 100 men and women. The fledgling society, which had been nameless, now began to be called Alcoholics Anonymous from the title of its own book. And I think that's significant right there. I don't think we catch that all the time. That the fellowship, Alcoholics Anonymous, is named after the program, which is the book, Alcoholics Anonymous. We took the name of Alcoholics Anonymous. And I think the battle, probably the first ever major battle of group conscience between all these people was what to name the book at the beginning. And of course Bill wanted the Bill W. movement. That lasted about an hour. I would have been right there with him. As Pat sees it. I'm going to write it someday. Brian's way. Comes the Dawn was one. A lot of people liked 100 men because there was approximately 72, but they liked the number 100. And 100 men and then Florence R. came along and kind of ruined the whole thing. So it couldn't be 100 men and a woman. Right? So the empire. Right. And then the empty glass. They had a lot of the dry way, the dry life, the dry frontier. The way out. You know, the way out became the favorite in Ohio, in Cleveland and Akron. And I think it was probably one of Bill's first ever manipulations of group conscience. One of the story is that some drunk from detox walked in and said a bunch of anonymous alcoholics. And they picked up on it and said Alcoholics Anonymous. That would be a great name for the book. And that was what New York was leaning towards. And Cleveland and Akron were kind of pushing for the way out. And Bill sent one of his sponsees, Fitz, to the Library of Congress and said, see how many way outs there are. Maybe we can get out of this way out deal. And he found out there was 12 other way outs. And he said, do you guys really want to be the 13th way out? And so the book became named Alcoholics Anonymous. And then the fellowship took on the name after the book became called Alcoholics Anonymous. Now, what we have now is two Alcoholics Anonymous. We have Alcoholics Anonymous, the book. And we have Alcoholics Anonymous, the fellowship. And the significance of that is they're carrying the same message. And the book starts to go across the country. Now we have the message in print. We're maintaining the integrity of the message. We're maintaining the integrity of the program. And the book starts to go out. We know after the Jack Alexander article it really took off. And it starts to go out. And by the way, Jack was here to expose us. He was the 60 Minutes reporter, you know, that goes out and exposes us. He exposes fraud. Jack came to AA to expose us as cheats. And realized we really had something and promoted us and put us on the map. And that's amazing to me that just such a God thing that takes place in this place. So many God instances that take place. And so now the book starts to go across country. It hits Arizona. Somebody gets sober, reads it, gets sober. The book is a 12-step call. We'll talk about it in a little bit. But the way the book is written is written in a specific order to be a 12-step call. The problem, somebody's experience, strength, and hope. The solution, what happens if you don't find it. A way to effect finding it. And then the program of action. And so it's written to be a 12-step call. So people in Arizona get sober and they'd start a group. And then the book would go to California. Somebody would read it, get sober, start a group. And Florida and so on and so on. And now we have something developing, I think, that Bill and Bob never dreamed of. And that is a fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous. And a great power in the fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous as we all know and feel every time we walk into a meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous. It's just that, you know, it's just I'm safe. You know, I'm fine. And we feel the power of the fellowship here that the first 100 didn't have. You know, they recovered. They had a spiritual experience but they didn't recover. But now what you have is you have people now starting to stay sober on the fellowship by not drinking and going to meetings. And some able to put. A little bit of significant time together behind it. And they start questioning the need of this drastic. Because these are drastic proposals, aren't they? This is drastic. Inventory is drastic. And then sharing that inventory is even more drastic. And now I got to go out and make amends for the restitution. That's drastic. And some people are questioning the need for it. You know, I'm staying sober. And I don't think I have. Geez, I pray every night. Maybe God's hearing me and I don't have to tell another person. Do I really have to make amends for, to everybody I harmed? You know, do I really need to turn over all of my defects of character? You know, make a list of all the people I harmed? They start to, and some stop doing it. And they start putting some time together. And we start to see the meetings start to swing. And then along in the 80s, the treatment centers came along. And the treatment centers were busing people to the meetings. And look, I love treatment. I think there's a need for treatment. I think treatment takes care of issues that we don't and shouldn't. But they were bringing those issues to our fellowship, weren't they? You know, and our fellowship started to look like group therapy. You know, we, and I don't blame them. They were doing what they were told to do. Go share. You need to share. Right? You need to talk about your stuff. A problem shared is a problem solved. You know, right? You know, if you share it ten times, it's cut in half ten times. We hear it all in the rooms. Look, it's not a bad suggestion. It's just not recovering from alcoholism. It's recovering from something else. Maybe it's not AA. It's what, BB. Maybe. But it's not AA. You know. But we allowed it to happen. And I don't blame them for coming here and doing it. We started having meetings on codependency. We started having meetings on my bad day. Who had the bad day? Right? It's who had a bad day meeting. Right? Anybody have a bad day? Yeah, everybody had a bad day. Right? And we started listening to this kind of stuff in the meetings. And we get, we start drifting from our primary purpose and our primary message. And we start to become group therapy. And our success. And the absolute went in the toilet. I don't even know if we can profess like single digits nowadays. I don't know where we're at. Of the people who come to AA. And look, I got my own theory on success rates. So, that you'll hear. Really? In my own opinions. But we started drifting away from the message. And Bill saw this. It inspired, it really inspired him in the traditions. Bill saw other groups that none of us would have even heard of if it wasn't for being in Alcoholics Anonymous. Like the Emanuel Movement. Like the Washingtonians. Like the Occupationalists. Like the Washingtonians. Like the Oxford groups. The most successful groups ever in treatment of alcoholism. Gone. Nobody, if they hadn't come here, would even have heard of them. The Oxford groups and Washingtonians and Emanuels. You wouldn't know who they were. But they got involved in other stuff. And it became controversy and it broke them apart. It fractured them from within. And the one thing we need to do is to stay with our primary purpose. And stay with the message in the book. Or we will go the same way. And maybe there's not a lot that we as a single group can do to destroy Alcoholics Anonymous at this point. With 2.2 million worldwide. Somewhere in that number. I think a million and change in North America. Maybe not. But surely it could affect our effectiveness as a group. You know, our effectiveness. There's some meetings that I've been in. Look, if they didn't read how it works, I wouldn't even know it was an AA meeting. You know. And what about the girl who comes from work at noon to her first meeting. And it's a bad day meeting. And she's wondering, what the hell am I doing? What am I doing here? What does this have to do with treating my alcoholism? And they get up and they leave halfway through the meeting when somebody shares about the flat tire. Again. Again. If we ever drift away from our message. We use a preamble at my home group. Sobriety, freedom from alcoholism is the sole purpose of an AA group. It was written by Bill W. in the AA grapevine back in 1958. And published in Problems Other Than Alcoholics. You can get under this of as if this ain't true. To the challenges. And hopefully that's the message we put across this weekend while we're here, is we stay and we're going to really try to stay with the messages coming from the big book and not my message or some other message. You will unfortunately hear some of our opinions. We'll tell you this, most of what we're going to talk about is going to come straight out of this book and we actually suggest that you probably ignore anything that you can't actually reconcile with the big book . On page 20, in the middle of that top line, public acceptance of AA grew by leaps and bounds. For this, there were two principal reasons, the large numbers of recoveries and reunited homes. These made their impressions everywhere. Of alcoholics who came to AA and really tried, 50% got sober at once. These are those statistics that Pat was just talking about and remained that way. 25% sobered up after some relapses. And among the remainder, those who stayed on with AA showed improvement. Now they're talking about a 75% or better success rate. And we already know Bill likes to exaggerate, but not that much. He exaggerates just a little bit. So if he's saying 75, maybe it was 69. But nobody was really, I mean, it was probably easier to keep tabs when there was 100 of them. It's a little harder to keep tabs today. Nobody really knows what the success rate of Alcoholics Anonymous is now, but it's believed to be far less than 30%. There's several ways of reading success. There's a lot of things that we can do. There's a lot of ways of reading statistics. But I think that the thing that Pat mentioned, the way that we learned to look at this, is that it says of those who came to AA and really tried. Well, came to AA and really tried what? Well, really tried the AA program, the 12-step program. We think if you only count people who come to AA and really try the 12 steps, we think we probably are somewhere between 50% and 75%. Maybe even better. It's the... It's the... But if our meetings are not carrying the program that's in the book, I think you're going to find success rates are probably far less. There are a lot of things that we've learned to talk about in Alcoholics Anonymous, and not all of them bad. But I think what we've witnessed... I know what I've witnessed in the time that I've been AA. And I'll share this example of it. Several years ago, I was at a function. As a matter of fact, I'm pretty sure Jim was recording it over in Fort Lauderdale. And there was a... There was a... There was a... There was a... Our District 9 archives was there. And they had a where and when from 1991 on the table. And I got sober in 88. And so that where and when was a... 91 was my first big book seminar. So it was a particularly interesting year. So I picked up that where and when, and I actually thumbed through and counted five big book meetings. And there were 350 meetings a week in Alcoholics Anonymous in Broward County, Fort Lauderdale area. And five of those 350 were big book meetings. If you go to Fort Lauderdale today... And pick up a where and when, there are 600 meetings a week, but 50 of them are big book meetings. And not only did the big book meetings start to increase, but all of the step meetings and step series and meetings on the 12 and 12, all of those meetings have increased as well. So in our area, at least, Alcoholics Anonymous has been returning to its literature over the time that I've been in AA. And I think that it's becoming more successful as a direct result. The more it seems that we focus on the actual program in our texts, the better our success rates are. And I think that I've witnessed that in our area. Oh yeah. I mean, the young people coming in Alcoholics Anonymous are on fire with the literature. They really are. I mean, we're in good hands, trust me. We are in great hands. They are on fire. I mean, they're just in the book. You know, the guys that we work with over there. But look, it's a different deal right now, right? I mean, we're court ordered. They're coming out of treatment. The parents are sending them here. There's a lot of reasons why people are coming into Alcoholics Anonymous. And I think that's a different deal right now. I mean, we're court ordered. They're coming out of treatment. They're coming out of alcoholics Anonymous now rather than hitting a bottom and then ending up in Alcoholics Anonymous as last resort. So I don't know if we can count all those. By the way, you can blame Dr. Bob for that. Because he went to the jails and said, we got a solution for these guys. Send them over. And we are history. He was a guy. But here's the thing. I was doing a step series at a club down in Pompano one night. And a guy gets up to read how it works. And he reads it. And he says, I don't know. He reads it. And he says, rarely have we seen a person follow our path. And I perked up. And I went, what did he just say? And he repeated it. He said, he knew he screwed up. He stopped. And he said, rarely have we seen a person thoroughly follow our path. And he kept going. And I went, oh, did he give me a topic? Because I never know where to start when I get up at the podium. And I said, isn't that true? And there's where our success rates are. Rarely have we seen a person thoroughly follow our path. That's why our success rates are under 6. Of the people who thoroughly followed our path, 100%. 100% success. That's what I think our success rates are. I think our success rates are 100% of the people who follow a precise, specific, exact, clear-cut direction. And then live it in 10, 11, and 12. I think 100% of them stay sober. But rarely have we seen a person thoroughly follow our path. Do that. Thoroughly follow our path. So we're going to go backwards in our text to the table of contents. And we're going to take a look at, we're going to see that, you know, in the third or the second edition, what we see is that the program was set up. There were these three parts that were discovered. And then getting those three parts in the proper order was essential. And once they got those three parts, they were able to get the program to work. And once they got those three parts and put them in the proper order, that was where they found success in helping alcoholics recover. And so when they went to set up the textbook Alcoholics Anonymous, which would be the book that would carry this message to other people, people that they couldn't reach personally, they set this text up in the exact same pattern. And we're going to see, if we look at the doctor's opinion and Bill's story, we're going to see that that's where the most of the information is. We're going to see that that's where the most of the information about the problem, being powerless over alcohol, most of the information about step one is there. A little bit of it is in chapters two and three, but most of it is going to be in doctor's opinion and Bill's story. And then after they tell us what the problem is, they're going to tell us what the solution is. The solution, if the problem is power, the solution, if the problem is powerless, the solution is obviously power, right? So in our case, it's a power greater than ourselves. And most of that information is going to be in there's a solution, more about ours. What are the steps that we have to take in order to find the power? And that information is going to be in how it works into action and working with others. This book is set up exactly the way that they learned that they had to carry the message in order to have the success that they were having. You'll see that natural rhythm all through the book. Problem, solution, program of action. I mean, it's just a natural cadence that the book shows. And before we move on, I just want to say one last thing. Thank you, Bill. I just want to say one thing. If you don't think our stories are important, not only is Bill's story right after the problem giving us an example of somebody who suffered from the illness and affected a permanent recovery to give me hope, a guy like me hope, and say that that guy can do it. They have 42 other stories in the back of this book for us to somehow come to terms with and identify with those people. Our stories are important. Not necessarily my worst story. But what happened. You know, what it was like there, what happened to me, and how I found a relationship with the power that solved my problem. And all 42 stories carry that rhythm. You know, what it was like running on self-will, what happened, how did I find God, and now what it's like living my life with God in it. And every one of those stories follows that pattern. So we don't think our stories are important from the podium. They felt important enough in the fourth edition to have 43 different stories in it. So we don't think our stories are important from the podium. They felt important enough in the fourth edition to have 43 different stories in it. You know, to give us a chance to identify. Identification we know is serious. I mean, if it wasn't for Ebby coming to Bill, would Bill have really identified with the guy carrying the message? You know, Dr. Bob, he was able to unlock Dr. Bob's willingness because Dr. Bob identified with Bill as an alcoholic. So our stories are real important. We're going to go to the preface, XI, right? Yep. We're going to talk about a couple of ideas here. Because this book is a little bit more complex than the other books, we're going to go to the preface, XI, right? Yep. We're going to talk about a couple of ideas here. Because this book is a little bit more complex than the other books, we're going to go to the preface, XI, right? Yep. And the first thing is, we're going to talk about a book. It is a book that's beenzuspended for many, many years. In 1899, the book has become the basic text of our society, and it's helped such large numbers of alcoholic men and women in recovery. There exists strong sentiment against any radical changes being made in it. Therefore, the first portion of this volume, describing the AA recovery program, has been left untouched in the course of revisions made in the second, third, and fourth edition. The first word that jumps out at me is the word text. And we talk about a lot of different types of books. Biographies, autobiographies, novels. And the truth is, the first time I picked it up and published it, it was the book that stood out for me. So I'm going to read the next three pages. program has been left untouched in the course of revisions made in the second, third, and fourth edition. The first word that jumps out at me is the word text. And we talk about a lot of different types of books, biographies, autobiographies, novels, and the truth is the first time I picked this book up I read it like a novel. You know, I went to page one, saw Bill's story, and unidentified, identified my way out. Right? Like, I don't live in New York, I'm not a star broker, I'm not a nighttime lawyer, right? I don't know anything about it, I don't identify with it, I've been in World War I for God's sake. I mean this is way out of my league, and I read it like a story about Bill Wilson. And I identified myself right to sleep after I read War of Fever, Ran High. It was a great way to fall asleep at night. But if we look at this book as a textbook, let's say a textbook on mathematics, for instance, you know we know when we go to how it works, which is one of the biggest mistakes I still being made, is people saying, you wonder how it works? Go to how it works. We know how it works starts at step three. It might as well be a book on algebra starting in on algebra in chapter five. How does it work? And we go there we see a bunch of algebra problems. Well if we don't know anything about mathematics and we're not going to be able to figure out the algebra problem. But if each chapter builds on the last chapter, and one builds on the next, and builds on the next, like this book does, like a textbook does, and we know what the object of a textbook is, right? Transference of knowledge from one person to another. Person to persons. To increase the knowledge of that person. You know I always think about a book, I always think about cheating too when I think about it. But if we have our algebra problems and how it works in chapter five, and we start at the beginning, we learn about the value of numbers. Then we learn about addition and subtraction in chapter two, and then multiplication and division in chapter three, and maybe we learn about the value of fractions and decimals in chapter four. By the time we get to chapter five, we can tackle those algebra problems. Well the same thing is true in this textbook. When we first need to identify what the problem is. Then we need to identify what the problem. Then we need to learn what the solution is. And by the time we get to chapter five, we're able to look at that algebra problem, which is making a decision. They're going to ask us to make a decision in the fifth chapter. And if we go straight to the fifth chapter, what do we read? I am powerless. No I'm not. My life's unmanageable. No it's not. I'm in denial the day I walked in here. Right. Yeah. Oh yeah. Well, that's it. Yeah. That's it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We have no idea what they mean by that. If I don't become powerless, and I don't think my life is unmanageable, what do I need to come to believe in? I don't need any power greater than myself, because I still got this thing. I'm still in control. Yeah, I know I'm in AA, but I still got it. Don't worry about it. I got it. I'll beat this thing yet. So we need to treat this as a textbook and read it like a textbook. How many of you read the Roman numeral before you came to Alcoholics Anonymous? I sure didn't. You're unique, because I mean, yeah, literature majors, right? I never read a forward or a preface in my life before I realized the value of it in here. And we'll talk about some other changes. The next thing that they bring up is that there's been no radical changes being made in the book, which is, to me, a wholesale miracle that after all this time, what is it now, 78 years? Is that what it is now? 78 years later, they haven't made it necessary to make any change? What's that? 35 years. 75? Next year. Next year. Ah, nice. Yeah. 75 it is? No, thank you. It's math. Textbook. I need a textbook. Yeah, I think it's an absolute miracle. Thank you. I think it's an absolute miracle that they haven't found it necessary to change the program. And why? Why not? Because it works. It works just as well now as it did then. Right? Alcohol hasn't changed. It's changed colors. It's changed names. It's changed bottles. But it still does what it used to do. It still eases the restlessness, irritability, and discontent. It still does what it used to do for me. Alcoholics haven't changed. They're still getting in car accidents. They're still getting arrested. They're still getting divorced. And human nature hasn't changed. We're still as selfish and self-centered as we ever were. There was never any reason to change it. Now, we'll see that there's some, there's been some change, and we'll point them out a little bit. Obviously, when we get to Dr. P, we'll point one of them out immediately. But I mean, obviously in the 1955, when the second edition came out, the fellowship was changing rapidly. It was getting younger. The bottoms were coming up. They felt it necessary to change some stories, add some stories, delete some stories with some relapses. We know Hank P's story is not in there. And to better reflect the fellowship. We know, I think it's 71 when the third edition came out. Same thing. Fellowship was kind of changing. We wanted to better reflect the fellowship. And then 2001, I believe it was, when the fourth edition came out. And same thing. They took a few stories out, added a few stories, changed the name of one story, you know, to not offend anybody. And better reflect the fellowship. And give the younger people coming into AA a chance to identify with some of the stories. To put some story in there that they can read and they can identify with that says, if that person can do it, so can I. So that'séké. . Qing. Forward of the first edition. Room 13, XIII. It says, we of alcoholics anonymous are more than 100 men and women who have recovered from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body. To show other alcoholics precisely how we have recovered is the main purpose of this book. So right off the bat, we're talking about a couple of things. A 100 men and women. Now most books that I read are authored by a single person. And if a single person is telling me something, well, I'm pretty free to agree or disagree with that person however I see fit. But this is a book that represents a hundred people's experience. Not just a hundred people's experience, but a hundred people's experience who suffered from the same problem that I suffer from, who said that they have found a way out. It's a little harder to argue with a hundred people than it is with one. I'm more likely to pay attention or to take heed to what it is a hundred people who have a problem like I have are saying about that problem and the solution. So right off the bat we have that. But they're also saying that they have recovered from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body. Again, this is that language. At the time that this book was written, society believed alcoholism was a hopeless condition. There was no such thing as recovery from alcoholism. This was an absolutely hopeless malady. And that's where a lot of the stigma came. They knew that if you were alcoholic, you were doomed. You were going to be eventually shut up somewhere. And there was a lot of shame and went along with that in society. But here's a hundred people who have recovered from that problem at a time when such a thing was believed impossible. We're actually going to see this word recovered used over and over and over again in our text. They're very seldom going to use recovering. And I'm not here to start a debate about that. Both terms are great with me. I'm recovering because my life depends on practicing spiritual experience, spiritual principles. But I am a recovered alcoholic because I no longer believe the lie about the first drink. That's a miracle. I could not stay sober a month before this experience. I have recovered from alcoholism because my mind no longer believes the lie that it used to believe. And so I'm on this side of the... Now, if I took a drink today, I would be just as alcoholic as I was when I left off. So I'm not under any... But the reality is that I've been recovered from alcoholism for 25 years. I no longer believe the lie about a drink. And that is a wholesale miracle. And that's the context in which they're using the word. They're letting us know, hey, we have this problem and we have recovered from it. The problem does not exist for us, they're going to say later on in the text. I think sometimes when we say recovered, somebody here is cured. Yeah. You know, we are not cured. We will never be cured. We will never be able to drink again. Once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic. But recovered is a different place. Thank God, too, because I doubt I would make much use of a spiritual program if I was cured. You know, it turns out, you know, it turns out that this is a pretty good deal, isn't it? I mean, if you're going to have an illness, this isn't a bad one. I mean, if you can, if you can recover from it, this isn't a bad one to have because my life is better than it ever was before I found Alcoholics Anonymous. And if I were cured of alcoholism, well, I probably wouldn't do the things that make my life as good as it is. I mean, it's a strange thing to consider, but that's probably the truth. He says to show other alcoholics precisely how we have recovered is the main purpose of this book. The main purpose of this book is to show us how they recover. That's the purpose of the book. Right? They wrote this book so that we would get precisely what they got. And if we have, you know, and they use the word precisely. Like, if this were an Eaton meeting, do they have Eaton meetings over here? Where everybody brings a dish, right? My favorite part of an Eaton meeting is dessert. Right? I love chocolate cake. And I'm asking you right now not to bring me one. Okay? It happens over in Fort Lauderdale. They bring me one. It happens over in Fort Lauderdale. They bring me one. It happens over in Fort Lauderdale. They bring me one. They bring me a piece of chocolate cake when I tell a story. I don't want one. Please. But I love chocolate cake. Now, if I was at an Eaton meeting and I really liked your chocolate cake, I probably would rave enough about it that you would share with me a set of directions on how you made that chocolate cake. That set of directions would probably include the list of ingredients that you used to make it, the sequence and quantities of which you mixed them, the temperature at which you baked it, how long you baked it for, right? All of those things would be exactly specified in that recipe. Right? And now if I take that recipe and go into my kitchen with my keen intellectual alcoholic mind, and it goes to work on your set of precise directions, and I start to make some changes to it because I like my cake sweet and moist, and I don't like eggs so much so I'm going to leave those out, and I'm going to hurry, so I'm going to bake it a little hotter and for a little shorter, and I'm going to end up with a chocolate cake, no question about it. But I wonder how much that chocolate cake would resemble your chocolate cake, which was my reason for making it in the first place. Right? They're going to give us a precise, they're going to later on, they're going to say specifically, exactly, clear-cut directions. These are all terms that they're going to use to describe the directions in this book. If I take those precise, specific, exact, clear set of directions and follow them, I'm likely to get the result that they're promising, which is recovery from alcoholism. But if I take them and my keen intellectual mind starts to wiggle out of them, and I don't follow those directions, I don't think that I should expect the results that they're promising, which is complete recovery from alcoholism. So we're going to jump into the doctor's opinion. Woohoo! Remember I was telling you there hadn't been any changes in the book. Well, this is probably the first major change in the book, which I think was probably one of the worst mistakes they ever made. And in the first 16 printings of the big book, in the first edition of the big book, the doctor's opinion was on page one.