Step 4 – Twelve Step Workshop – Part 3 of 4 – 2002 – Bob O.

About This Speaker Tape

Twelve Step Workshop - 2002

A divorce and a bankrupt pocketbook serve as the backdrop for Bob O.'s dissection of the 'window dressing' used to mask a hollow sense of self-worth. He breaks down the mechanics of the Fourth Step moving from the easy targets of people and institutions to the harder work of auditing the principles—the faulty road signs—that guide a life. Bob explores the paradox of staying in a miserable marriage for the 'kids' while actually hiding a fear of being alone and the danger of 'navel-gazing' in recovery. He recounts his time as a 17-year-old inmate and how that wreckage became a tool for his current work training prisoners proving that no matter how far down the ladder one goes the experience can be repurposed for service. He concludes with a warning against 'refocusing'—the alcoholic's habit of talking about the dog's rabies to avoid the fact that they are dying from the bottle.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Bob O. discusses camouflaging character defects with good intentions in his marriage.
• 4:15 Detailed breakdown of how to write a Fourth Step inventory for people and institutions.
• 7:30 Discussion on 'trolling' and using money or sex as bait to attract relationships.
• 12:40 Bob shares his experience being sentenced to prison at 17 and how it now helps him work with inmates.
• 16:10 Laughter: Discussion on the 'bottom' and whether one has to hit rock bottom to get sober.
• 19:20 Bob explains 'refocusing'u2014avoiding the primary problem by talking about irrelevant distractions.
• 24:10 Analysis of fear inventory and the 'gun that shoots backwards' (resentment).
• 28:50 The 'pile of sh*t' metaphor regarding the fear of changing one's circumstances.
• 32:10 Bob discusses the spiritual irrelevance of time and money.