Step 4 — Moral Inventory – Rick H. – Wilson House Big Book Workshop Retreat – 2024

About This Speaker Tape

Sonia and Rick dismantle the terror of the Fourth and Fifth Step, moving from the wreckage of 'zero or ten' living to a place of stability. Sonia describes her life as a war zone of hyper-vigilance, where she was addicted to the dance of pain with her former husband until her sponsor, Yvonne, cut off her ability to complain about him as a prerequisite for finishing her inventory. She maps out the process of writing 88 pages of wreckage, identifying pride as the lead in her parade.

Rick shares his own four-year stall on the Fourth Step, admitting he was a 'womanizing, selfish, self-centered' man who tried to use a formatted worksheet to avoid the hard work of the Big Book. He warns against 'sponsorship material' that looks the part but lacks the internal work, emphasizing that the inventory is not a suggestion but a requirement for removing the blocks between the alcoholic and their Higher Power.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Sonia opens with the 'searching and fearless moral inventory' and the 'zero or ten' nature of her instincts.
• 4:15 Sonia discusses the 'war zone' of her active addiction and the relief of the neocortex over the primitive brain.
• 7:30 Sonia describes the 'dance of pain' with her ex-husband and Yvonne's ultimatum to stop complaining about him.
• 10:15 Sonia details the process of writing 88 pages for her Fourth Step and identifying pride as the primary defect.
• 15:40 Rick enters the conversation, discussing the fear of the Fourth Step and the danger of waiting too long to get better.
• 20:10 Rick recounts his attempt to use a formatted worksheet instead of the Big Book method and his sponsor's refusal to help him with it.
• 26:30 Rick explains the 'spiritual malady' and the necessity of straightening out spiritually before physically.
• 32:15 Laughter: Rick discusses the 'relationship inventory' and how it's the only way to keep Sonia loving him.
• 38:40 Rick breaks down the 'fourth column' of the inventory: selfishness, dishonesty, self-seeking, and fear.
• 45:10 Rick warns about picking the wrong sponsor, sharing a story about a sponsor who leaked a sponsee's secrets to a spouse.
• 52:20 Sonia returns to discuss the principle of integrity in Step Five and the nurturing relationship with Yvonne.
• 58:15 Sonia describes the emotional breakthrough of the Fifth Step and the feeling of finally being 'one person' instead of six.