Step 4 — Moral Inventory – Donna – 2020 New England Big Book Workshop Weekend

About This Speaker Tape

Three speakers dismantle the wreckage of their internal lives through the lens of Step Four. Donna tackles the resentment inventory, admitting she played the victim to avoid the work of change and spent years kicking bikes into trees out of spite. Sarah, an Al-Anon member, exposes the 'concrete wall' of denial and the deep-seated fear of being unlovable that drove her to suppress every emotion since age twelve.

Matt closes by stripping away the ego of his sex and relationship inventory, moving past the 'hit list' to examine how he used people as tools for his own purpose. From the Bronx to the White M., the narrative shifts from blaming external conditions to the 'fourth column'—the brutal honesty of seeing one's own part in the chaos. They describe the process as a 'fact-finding mission' and 'digging' with a shovel to clear the spiritual malady blocking them from their Higher Power.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Opening: Donna introduces the focus on Step 4 and the resentment inventory
• 7:15 Donna discusses the spiritual exercise of putting pen to paper to reveal blocks to Higher Power
• 14:40 Donna explains the four-column inventory and the role of the victim
• 21:10 Donna discusses the 'fourth column' realization and the importance of forgiveness
• 28:30 Sarah introduces herself and discusses the Step 4 fear inventory process
• 34:50 Sarah shares on childhood emotional suppression and the drive for control
• 41:20 Sarah discusses building a 'case file' of evidence to trust Higher Power over self-reliance
• 47:00 Matt introduces the Step 4 sex and relationship inventory
• 52:15 Matt shares on his history of dishonesty and childhood in the Bronx
• 57:40 Matt concludes with the 'mountain and shovel' metaphor and Step 11 meditation