Step 4 – Joe and Charlie – Part 1 of 3 – 2021 – Sandy B.

About This Speaker Tape

Joe and Charlie - 2021

The internal file cabinet of the mind is emptied out through a rigorous five-column inventory of fear resentment and sexual conduct. Benny Joe B. breaks down the mechanics of the Fourth Step arguing that fear is rarely about physical danger but is instead a threat to basic instincts—social security and sex. He admits to defrauding the federal government and the terror of facing the IRS and recounts a childhood in West Tulsa where sex education was found in the gossip of teenagers outside a cafe. By mapping out how he used sex to build a fragile self-esteem (what he calls 'John W.-ism') he discovers he wasn't oversexed but undersecure. The narrative moves from the wreckage of compromised principles to a place where faith and courage replace the old vicious reactions leaving the speaker with a sane ideal for the future.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Discussion on how fear dominates thinking and the necessity of getting it on paper.
• 4:15 Breakdown of the five columns for fear and the distinction between healthy caution and paralyzing fear.
• 7:30 Example of the fear of the IRS and the admission of defrauding the federal government.
• 11:45 The transition from fear to faith and courage through the Fourth Step prayers.
• 15:20 Laughter: Comparison between human sexual dysfunction and the instinctual nature of animals.
• 18:40 Story about getting 'sexual education' from teenagers in West Tulsa, Oklahoma.
• 23:10 Analysis of 'emotional sex' and the use of sex to build security and self-esteem.
• 27:50 Discussion on the 'sane ideal' for future sex conduct and the role of prayer in molding those ideals.
• 32:15 The link between the sex inventory and the lists for Steps 8 and 9.
• 36:00 Closing thoughts on the 'grosser handicaps' and a joke about page 69 versus page 96 of the Big Book.