Step 4 – Friday Night Recovery Workshop – Part 3 of 17 – 2021 – Chris S.

About This Speaker Tape

Friday Night Recovery Workshop - 2021

A mind programmed for destruction is the starting point for Chris S. He describes a childhood defined by a 'lack of dealage,' retreating into comic books and fantasy to escape an overwhelming anxiety that made him cut school for days just to avoid a single oral report. The booze provided a temporary chemical bridge to connection but it quickly spiraled into a decade of 'underground culture' partying pills and a total detachment from reality. Even in early sobriety Chris felt like a lunatic admitting he didn't know how bad he was until his sponsor Phil P. pointed out his constant swearing and the fact that he almost killed a newcomer in a church parking lot. The turning point came through 1980s workshop tapes and a rigorous application of the Fourth Step moving him from wanting to slash tires to viewing others with compassion.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Introduction and reading of the AA preamble.
• 5:50 Chris S. discusses Bill W. as an architect of recovery materials.
• 10:15 Childhood anxiety and the 'fantasy life' of comic books.
• 14:30 The first drink at 13 and the feeling of finally being in the 'right place'.
• 18:45 The 'underground culture' of hardcore partying and the danger of pills.
• 24:10 Early sobriety struggles: the 'lack of dealage' and Love Boat reruns.
• 31:20 Laughter: The story of Phil P. and the 'f-word' in front of the children.
• 34:15 The 'Yoda moment': 'We don't kill people in AA'.
• 38:50 Discovery of Joe and Charlie's workshop tapes and the shift toward recovery.
• 42:10 Step 4: Inventorying anger and the shift from slashing tires to compassion.
• 46:30 Addressing the 'corroding thread' of fear and anxiety through the steps.
• 52:10 The Set-Aside Prayer and the humility of admitting he could be wrong.