Step 2 — Came to Believe – Joe C. – 1998 – Session 22

About This Speaker Tape

Joe C. dismantles the mechanics of resentment, defining it as the act of 're-feeling' old pains. He uses the image of a football game's slow-motion replay to illustrate how alcoholics obsessively loop their grievances in 'living color' to maintain a sense of distorted self-importance.

Joe maps out the Fourth Step resentment inventory, emphasizing a column-by-column approach to avoid mental overload. He argues that anger is not a random emotion but a reaction to a perceived threat to basic instincts—security, sex, and self-esteem. By shifting the focus from the people to the internal reaction, he makes the case for a spiritual connection as the only way to stop the 'romp and stomp' of alcoholic anger.

He concludes by noting that while he can't control others, including his wife Barbara, he can control his relationship with a Higher Power to keep his instincts in check.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Joe defines resentment as 're-feeling' and the spiritual disease.
• 3:15 The football quarterback metaphor: how we replay pain in slow motion.
• 6:20 Laughter: The 'resentment replay machine' and recording what people are thinking.
• 8:10 The transition from resentment to self-resentment and the 'cloak of dignity' (self-pity).
• 10:45 Step 4: Instructions on filling out the resentment inventory columns.
• 14:10 Discussion of 'principals' and the Ten Commandments.
• 17:30 Joe's personal experience listing 152 names on his first inventory.
• 21:15 The realization that it is the action, not the person, that causes the resentment.
• 24:40 Analyzing the third column: threats to basic instincts (security, sex, self-esteem).
• 27:50 The connection between anger and a lack of spiritual connection to a Higher Power.
• 30:10 The 'black belt Al-Anon' wife, Barbara, and the 'romp and stomp' of anger.
• 33:00 Summary of the three columns and the shift from external blame to internal reaction.