Step 12 and Sponsorship – Sponsorship Workshop – 2024 – Part 2 of 16 – Ali H.

on computer that's hi everybody i'll be grateful alcoholic um i just before we begin thank you so much mickey and the entire team and all of you guys i appreciate you very much this has been such a beautiful team it seems to be the experience seems to me that that when the spirit puts something in your heart um just god makes sure that there's a bunch of other seekers that have it in their hearts too and these these these committees and these groups and these teams seem to just form organically no one was ever voted in or voted out just organically and we all give from our hearts from our time and from a from a place of love you know so i just appreciate this team so much kuna sends his love he wasn't he's not able to make it today and next week he's going to western canada for a little vacation with the family and uh frank and kristen i want to thank you guys so much for everything you've done they won't be here next week because then a roundup that they're uh they're committed to so thank you guys for being here appreciate you guys if we won't get to say goodbye next week so maybe we will today at the end um let me see recordings so as always with the record so when we started this thing the plan was not to release or release way down the road and then it had to still happen we couldn't cover what we wanted to in the 12 weeks so then a fairness to everybody we're going to release immediately after the last session which is the 14th week for 15th week next week we're gonna release everything all the recordings to everybody uh for anything that you missed and for others that perhaps weren't able to be here um what else do we want to talk about can we can we just have someone say the set aside fair enough and then we can talk pete would you come on up please yes i'm an alcoholic my name is pete the set aside prayer dear god please set aside everything i think i know about myself this book my disease these steps and especially about you dear god so that i might have an open mind and new experience of all these things please help me see the truth oh man thank you very much beautiful okay so a couple of things just to address uh one is uh apparently some friends have been asking um some team members about this workshop continuing to go and cover what we've missed the practice on the forwards and parts of there's a solution parts of the agnostics most of uh more about alcoholism, right? And then vision for you, the three chapters of to the employers and those two other chapters, family afterwards and to the wives, vision for You and the Dr. Bob's Nightmare. So that's the question. The answer is I got to sit with it and pray and let you know. Just want to say this though. So by the end of next week, we're going to cover this chapter seven. We're goingto finish it. So we will have covered everything that anyone ever needs to take a new person to get them to step 12 right and then i was so we've also given you all the directions what to do after that come to the preface and discover everything so those chapters anyone can easily read with their sponsors and highlight what jumps out at you and you know what i mean but uh but please let me sit with it pray about it it's just because of timetables and everything that's on the plate um it's going to be really difficult to continue that at this time maybe sometime in the future but i'll sit with him and pray about it that's for sure um um alcoholic synonymous has given me a life filled with the deep sense of meaning and purpose i never knew it's like it's like it gifted me the spirit gifted me through this program and through with to you guys something that i never knew that i was missing you know what i mean i never knew that i wanted it so bad i didn't know i didn' know what really love was i didn''t want what being considerate of others really was i had no idea i hadno idea what faith was what gratitude was i associate all of those things with feelings and what my brain told me which is not the case right all those things are action you guys have introduced me to a program action for a continuous awakening and for infinite possibility of spiritual growth now i want to say something that may require some friends to set aside their belief system just for a period of time doesn't mean it's wrong right um and see for me the truth was um in the past with the big book you know trying my best first few years the truth was that the steps um i i wanna i wanna keep growing spiritually i want to grow spiritually so i'm gonna keep going through the steps i'm going to keep going to the steps i'm to keep oh you're doing it you're done a big book this way i've already done the big book but i want do it your way because i want to grow Spiritually you're going this way can you take me through the big book because I want to Grow Spiritually right that was my truth until it stopped becoming my truth Until the Spirit sent me a few messengers that had experienced a different truth. And you also have taught me, contempt prior to investigation would keep me in everlasting ignorance. So I set aside everything that I think I know because I wanted whatever it is I saw in them. So I follow what they said, right? So what I have learned now, the last few years, what's become my truth is that the first 11 steps don't create spiritual growth. What creates spiritual growth for me is work and self-sacrifice for others. The first 11 Steps create an awakening, provide an awakening for me to be efficient and effective in work and self-sacrifice for other people in the 12th step, right? Now, page 14 alludes to that. We're not going to highlight that. You don't have to go there. It's in Bill's story, the bottom of it. It says, particularly it was imperative when Eddie meets Bill at his awakening, right, particularly it Was imperative to work with others as he had done for me. Faith without works is dead, he said. and how appallingly true for the alcoholic here we go for if an alcoholic failed to perfect and enlarge enlarge grow his spiritual life through work and self-sacrifice for others he could not survive the trials in those spots ahead he was surgery the only way from personal experience that i have grown spiritually is through work and self-sacrifice for others ali we're having a hard time hearing you you're freezing up well thank you for letting me know is it better now i've turned off his video when he catches how is it now am i back yeah we're good sorry guys okay let me just see let me see okay good am i still host that host okay perfect i got kicked out okay so let me you know what mickey i'm going to host you in case something happens oh frank i'm gonna host you frank you're sticking around after brother are you today or no yeah oh i'm good good today thank you so much so i'm to host um i'm host you here so in case happen to me the entire meeting doesn't shut down for some reason i can't host you okay Okay. Sorry one second guys there we go Frank more make host. Perfect. Okay, Frank can you co host me now, please. Yeah. Yeah, beautiful. So I guess you guys missed the whole thing. All right. Can somebody tell me what's the last thing you got clearly heard potentially page for you are on page 14. Page 14, and Ebi is saying that appallingly true. Okay, perfect. Beautiful. So page 14, what Ebi says, so Bill's talking about when Ebi came and met him and he woke up, right? He finally did whatever the version of the steps in the hospital bed in a few days, and he just woke up. And Ebi said to him, my friend, Bill says, my friend had emphasized the absolute necessity of demonstrating these principles in my affairs. What is that? Off step, right, second half of it. particularly it was imperative to work with others as he has worked with me 12 step first half of it faith without works was dead he said and how appallingly true for the alcoholic for if an alcoholic failed to perfect and enlarge his spiritual life enlarge grow spiritual life didn't stay through the first continuously through writing inventories continues to pray meditating continue that's all you do that's how you do it says through work and self-sacrifice for others he could not survive the trials and low spots ahead if he did not work he would surely drink again and if he drank he would die then faith without words is that was so with us okay so my truth in last few years from my own experience has been spiritual growth doesn't come from the first 11 steps spiritual awakening comes from the 1st 11 steps spiritual growth comes from the 12th step and the 12 step says having had a spiritual awakening implies as a result of these steps the first 11 steps right we try to pass this message on to alcoholics and practice principles in our affairs so now this chapter we're talking about passing message on to other alcoholics right and it doesn't say that i have to be successful have 50, 20, 10 spouse, they have to be sober. There's none of them, right? It says we try. So the last few years, the rest of my ability, what I have done is I have just tried to pass this message on, to talk about AEA, to talking about God when warranted, with tact and common sense, to open the big book with somebody. I have grown spiritually as a result of trying the 12 step passing this message on now I am a believer also and it's been my experience that I this illness is so cunning and baffling and strong the darkness inside of me sometimes I can't just try to live in 10 11 and 12. It's been My Experience that I need to revisit the first nine proposals every so often as I am moved once a year once every two years right so the first 11 steps they create a continuous awakening i can be more awake and more awake and more weak why to fulfill my purpose in life as per the third step decision i'm third step the deal i made with god god i'm gonna take you take care of the details of my life i'm going to stay close to you and help your other kids in the 12th step in the twelfth step right so for those friends that may be in that space that they think they just got to keep going through the big book with somebody when you already have this is my experience you may want to just sit with it your spiritual growth will not come from continuous work in the first 11 steps which is needed which is what i do it comes from the 12th step so it's like it's like i don't know i'm just i was saying i was meditating before this i was like asking for an analogy to come i don't know this i think it's silly hopefully a better one will come is as if like my life is like this okay i have i have a condition that puts me to sleep pins constantly i'm talking about figuratively now i don t suffer from narcolepsy it's figuratively so i fall asleep spiritually i think i see things i don my brain lies to me all the time i take things personally i'm judgmental i'm self-righteous i'm cruel at times i'm egocentric ego self-centered sometimes right i fall asleep spiritually i think this life is about me and feeling good what's in it for me constantly right the first 11 steps as a way of life continuously what they do is they keep keeping me awake keeping away keeping me away on a deeper level deeper level a deeper love okay but i have to it's for a purpose though If I forget that this gift that's been given to me by spirit as this beautiful path to continuously stay awake, if I forget there's a purpose for this, for me to help his kids, then I start to choke on it. Then I start To become really rigid in this program. Then I started to think you're doing it wrong. Then I need to make sure to tell everybody every single time when no one's asked me exactly how long I meditate in the morning so you can hold me up on a pedestal. I didn't have a tough time with alcoholics and all this because I think I'm the only big booker and then and you guys didn't know anything until Ali got sober and now I gotta teach you we all know a few friends like that mirror to me how I was not you know a couple years ago right I hope this comes across this is like it's so huge this is so huge if I know my purpose and intention i continuously work this first 11 steps to the best of my ability as a way of life so i can stay awake so ican see the guidance how i can best serve your kids other alcoholics and practice principles in life years that's why the last few years my life has been my experience in this beautiful life hasbeen one of a deep sense of meaning and purpose When I have purpose in my life. I can bear anything. I can bet absolutely anything. See the people around the world, babe. I'm not going to get political, but there's people dying all around the world. Some of them have faith and purpose, man. Bombings and killings, faith and purpose, man. Poverty. But if I don't have purpose in my life nothing is bearable absolutely nothing is bearable the gift of this program is a 12th step so coming back what we addressed at the beginning for those friends and i will sit with them pray with it for those friends that may have the belief system that you is a need like you would just benefit so much from it if this workshop would continue we would cover everything that we missed the practice and stuff i'd like to ask you to consider something else that your growth and your juicy experience will come from you trying to pass this right now on or any other man just a 12 step right whatever if this doesn't work for you no problem thank you for being here for 14 weeks it's all good it's not good it sounds good i hope that came across that was like that's like a gem man that's like effectiveness that's like I hope man that's like with a good motive I was like I felt like I didn't even know it's like I was swimming upstream in Alcoholics Anonymous and then God presented a couple of teachers and no no no spiritual growth false stuff you want to go pass it on you don't need to go through the big book anymore you pass it on at the same time And obviously, I have to continue to work the first 11 steps in my life to the best of my ability because I've got to be a clear channel. I will not pass on what I don't have either. I only transmit what I have in that moment. Thank God doesn't make too hard turns for a broken soul like me. It's all good, man. Beautiful. All right, okay. So let's get into the book. That was a long preamble. Page 89. So today, in the spirit of just laser light passing on what we're gonna do. There's a we're not gonna as always we're going to unpack everything you know with your protege prospect sponsee. You guys can share on whatever you move to it's gonna highlight certain themes. We're gonna move pretty quickly and hopefully this week and next week will finish, and hopefully I really, really, want to have some sharing from people that up to now are have been using what we've doing and then what's been happening in your lives and i would love to hear stuff like that okay ready so page 89 at the top margin top left please write step 12. highlight it in yellow put a colon next to it right to the right of step 12 and please write carrying carrying this message to other alcoholics so this chapter is the first half of the 12th step carrying this message to other alcoholics i'm not gonna you know semantics some people say three parts two parts is just what i believe i believe the first part is a condition having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps it's a condition nothing to do with the 12 step and then the 12 step starts we try to pass this message on to other alcoholic's first part practice principles another in our affairs second part but again we all know it's one movement man we can't really separate parts in anything it's all moving right okay so carrying this message to other alcoholics chapter seven work with that waking working with others practical grab the yellow highlighter please highlight a yellow important practical experience shows that nothing will so much ensure immunity from drinking as intensive work with other alcohols it works when other activities fail this is our 12th suggestion carry this message through other alcohol that's in yellow and then grab your pen we're going to circle some stuff that we've already highlighted by the way i'm actually amazed and humbled and so grateful that at 14 weeks in two weeks after what we said we're gonna do we're still still 180 friends are still coming and showing up i'm just so so humble that thank you it's just amazing okay so if you grab the pen please yeah second line it says immunity you've highlighted in yellow circle immunity please we're going to come back and talk about it just briefly in the third line that you highlighted on the left it says intensive work circle intensive work one circle please immunity circle intensive word circle the line below that for the right it says 12 suggestion circle 12 suggestion 12 suggestion the last line that we highlighted circle this message we want to make those stand out okay so practical experience shows that nothing will ensure immunity from drinking as intensive work with other alcoholics that means it says when worse when other activities fails that means everything i do the everything else that i do in my life let's just say an alcoholic synonymous continuously working the other steps and going to a lot of meetings all the stuff that are needed for me needed in this path if i don't use those to try to propel me and pray for intensive work with other alcoholics i do not have immunity from drinking that's what that means immunity you know like there's a disease and then there's a vaccine you get immune okay i don' want to say vaccine controversial but you know what i mean like you get immunity from an illness through it to be vaccinated right Immunity. My immunity is trying to pass this message on to other alcoholics. Other activities will fail me, they will fail. I know friends like that, I've experienced it like this, I know long-term sobriety friends like that from their experience they share with me and I watch them and they share with me another experience a little bit too in my shorter time in sobriete. either we end up drinking and dying or we end up destroying everything worthwhile in life sober and thinking about or attempting suicide there is no other way it seems like so nothing ensures immunity from drinking like intensive work with alcoholics now intensive work you may say um do i have to be sponsoring 10 people all no no no i pray and i make myself available god if you see fit can you please put a new man in my path for me to show under these 12 steps any kind of prayer in the mornings every morning i don't anymore my plate is full now but i used to when i used it and then i make myself available so what is intensive that that intensive work the assignment's up to god the details of the assignment is up to god it's not up to me to play that intensive work maybe he puts a couple newcomers in my path wet and dry all the time my intensive work is driving them from detox to detox to meetings and while in the car talking about this message with tact and common sense my intensive word may be to go buy groceries for somebody who doesn't have an aa that's dying and while i'm this pro while getting groceries talking about this program with tact and common sense it may be sponsoring people through the big book there may be so many things now obviously the desire the goal is to eventually hopefully if god sees fit to have a sponsor to actually take them through the 12 steps right but i can't judge god's work on that i just need to pray and make myself available so i said that by the way because i used to in my prejudice closed-minded thinking a while ago i used to think that no you don't have five sponsors every day then you're not doing intensive work that's my judgment that was my arrogance i was blocked off from god it was about me and my ideas you know you've made me better thank you for that thank you für that um this is our 12th suggestion suggestion right suggestion now look I'm spending way too much time on this more than I intended to or want to or even I do with the newcomer so the spiritual the spirit of the word suggestion not the literal word of the suggestion the spirit of the words suggestion right so we all know suggestions if someone's a real alcoholic right suggestion as in like you know we hear the jokes all the time and i suggest if you're going to jump off the airplane suggest pull the parachute suggestion we all know that right but however there's some truth there's a lot of truth to that suggestion as In the way I present it do or die no suggestion attraction not promotion you're doing it wrong no suggestion the person's got to be ready i can't ruin a later opportunity by being like that and i've done that in the past suggestion right okay so carry this message to other alcoholics remember i think it was last week we were saying this program the reason it works for us and most it seems to be that as a whole on the aggregate religions and other spiritual path don't work for us, really as a whole, right? It's because the first half of the first step and the first side of the second step was to carry this message to other alcoholics. This, this, this. This message to the other alcoholists, right. I gotta carry this. I try my best not to change the message. Doesn't mean I'm rigid in it. I tried to not do a 10 column inventory when I tried that to complicate things. Try to carry this message the best in my ability to other alcohols. Perfect, okay. No more yellow. You can help when no one else can. You can ensure their confidence with others' fails. Remember they are very ill. Grab the pink highlighter please. The next paragraph is 12 step promises and there's lots in it but this is like one gathering of the 12 step promise. So highlight all that in pink please. Very beautiful. Life will take on new meaning to watch people recover, to see them help others, To watch loneliness vanish. To see a fellowship grow up about you. To have a host of friends. This is an experience you must not miss. We know that you will not want to miss it. Frequent contact with newcomers and with each other is the bright spot of our lives. Notice these are 12-step promises, eh? They weren't given the 11-step. And the 11 step and all before the big book didn't say you watch loneliness vanish. Now you're close to God. You're never going to be alone. They didn't tell me that. That's not my assignment as an alcoholic. I don't believe so. It hasn't been my experience. My loneliness vanishes when I try to help these other kids, and then I experience. You want to get to know me? Get to know my kids. You wanna get to known me? Really? Is that right? You want a deeper experience with me? Here's a difficult situation. Seek me to see how you can help my other kids. Allow this experience to cook you so i'm going to send you men and women after and you can share i had that look at what god did for me meaning and purpose 12 step that's why that's what i see i'm so like this is why this um workshop even it's been my first right and all the workshops that intention is this to help someone pass this message on more effectively are just beautiful are powerful and has zero to do with the facilitator zero absolutely zero it could have been donald duck on this end absolutely zero it has to do what the desire to be better to be a better servant and god just brings messages and messengers and the energy is just you know what i mean it's just beautiful okay so watch it beautiful yeah stop to create a fellowship about you right this fellowship about me the fellowship of the spirit by the way like i promise you this last paragraph i'm gonna go i'm going to go fast at this this fellowship of his spirit that we read on page 164 we should we hope to meet you on the uh on the road of happy destiny and the fellowship of the spirit whatever they say bill says right fellowship of his spirit meetings are essential it's not in the meetings i mean it could be not necessarily it could be meetings are essentially no no it could but not have you guys ever heard there's a club within the club the fellowship of the Spirit is only experienced and enjoyed by those broken souls and alcoholics synonymous that are trying to pass this message on and then a fellowship grows about you has grown up around me i wish it is a wonderful thing loneliness has vanished because let me tell you i was lonely in the marriage how do you figure that okay fellowship for the spirit okay beautiful um I have grown as a husband because of the experiences of trying to pass this message on. I don't know how else to explain this. I don'T KNOW HOW ELSE TO PUT THIS, YOU KNOW? I HAVE NOT GROWN AS A HUSBAND BY WRITING A THOUSAND INVENTS, WHICH I HAVE ONLY AND PRAYING, MEDITATING ONLY. I'VE GROWN As A Husband, As A Father, As a Human Being, By Doing Those Things In Order to be more effective as passing this message on. I don't know how else to put it. The most important thing in Alcoholics Anonymous. Okay, perhaps you are not acquainted with any drinkers who want to recover. You can easily find some by asking a few doctors, ministers, priests, or hospitals. They will be only too glad to assist you. Don't start out as an evangelist reformer unfortunately a lot of prejudice exists you will be handicapped if you arouse it ministers and doctors are competent and you can learn much from them if you wish but it happens that because of your own drinking experience you can quickly you can be uniquely useful to other alcoholics okay so we're not going to unpack and give examples of this remember we're just going to highlight themes i'm reading for context right now and for theme so highlighting yellow please important so cooperate never criticize to be helpful is our only aim that's a theme that's the gem all that was written for this gem the entire paragraph was written for this ali cooperate don't criticize don't criticize doctors and lawyers and other people and religious people and don't do that because to be helpful is our only aim okay with the page page 90 no more yellow when you discover a prospect for alcoholics anonymous find out all you can about him please circle find out how you can't about him anytime please and thank you find out oh you can find out all you can about him okay please grab the yellow now after your circle we're going to start highlighting yellow important if he does not want to stop drinking don't waste time trying to persuade him you may spoil a later opportunity this advice is given for his family also okay that's another theme that we're highlighting that makes us effective in trying to pass this message on we don't chase people we don' t force people i don't course people anymore as much right okay we're going to read a little more no more highlighting they should be patient realizing they are dealing with the sick person if there is any indication that he wants to stop have a good talk with the person most interested in him usually his wife so by the way i'm not But this book, this chapter was written at a time where there were no meetings. They were all private, very few meetings, right? Traditions weren't even in place, right. So very few meeting, most private in people's homes. And a lot of times we would meet people from word of mouth to family members, right, so that's warranted. But these days, I meet people in the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous, right? Mostly, right. So I'm not gonna if I haven't met his wife, I'm not going to now seek out the gentleman's wife and ask about him. That's that's the worst thing that I could do to create the complete distrust. So please, everything in context, right, where does this book meet me in my experience? my experience but um get an idea of his behavior his problems his background the seriousness of his condition and his religious leaning okay grab the yellow highlighter now the rest of the paragraph important you need this information to put yourself in his place to see how you would like him to approach you if the tables were beautiful what a gem everything the last two paragraphs were written for that you want to be effective in this you want to be affected here is here's a suggestion okay so from you you've circled at the top of the page find out all you can about him if you can please put a line and an arrow going to the left margin curving it and bringing it to what we just highlighted line and arrow to what we just highlight it so meaning find out what you can't about him why because i need you need this information to put yourself in his place to see how you would like to be approached if the tables were turned so that's why there is a general suggestion ali when you meet somebody start to ask them questions find out what you can about him why so i can see how i can be most effective ali don't criticize why because effectiveness is our aim not being right right because i want to see if i was if i came from a if i had a dad that beat me if i whatever right whatever the life situation if i wasn't staunch if i in a religion that was impressed upon me really rigidly as a child and i rejected that okay if i were in his shoes how would i like to approach that's huge eh that's huge that just breaks the bars of rigidity from me that it must be this way no no no relax Ali pray God what's my assignment here how can I be helpful let me find out what I can about okay we're going to read now again we're reading we're not highlighting much we're reading for context and we're going to highlight the themes and the gems okay sometimes it is wise to wait till he goes on a bitch the family may object to this but unless he's in a dangerous physical condition it is better to risk it don't deal with him when he's very drunk unless he is ugly and the family needs your help wait for the end of his spree or at least for a lucid interval then let his family or a friend ask him if he wants to quit for good and if you would go to any extreme to do so if he says yes His attention, run by the family, his attention should be drawn to you as a person who has circled the word recovered. We talked about that early on. I stayed away from the controversy. I just sort of talked about it just very briefly. Recovered. The big book says many times, recovered. We're brought back to help it. Recover. Just circled. You should be described to him as one of the fellowship, one of a fellowship who, as part of his own recovery try to help others and who will be glad to talk to him if he cares to see you okay that's the context again ollie oh man you lost me again eh you guys lost me okay hold on yeah turn off your your video ali that may make okay how is it now audio is great audio is great okay perfect thank god you not only to see my face that is beautiful radio face all right there we go okay okay so uh recovered okay so if he says yes that his attention should be thank you by the way for letting me know his attention shall be drawn to you as a person who has recovered you should be described to him as one of the fellowship and we circle the word recover as well as part of his own recovery try to help others and who will be glad to talk to him if he cares to see you. Highlighting yellow, the next sentence, if he does not want to see you, never force yourself upon him. The spirit of that, where does that mean? If he doesn't want to say, don't force yourself. Don't go telling people he doesn' t want it. Bad enough. Doesn' t matter with you. I'm talking to me right now. It's like I talked to my older self. Have you guys ever looked back in like how you were with a little bit of like shame like i just not shame as a like um what am i trying to say like embarrassment i'm like embarrassed that's how and i know i did the best i could right oh man oh god thank god okay so that's it in yellow okay neither should the family hysterically plead with him to do anything nor should they tell him much about you they should wait for the end of his next drinking bath you might place this book where he can see it in the interval here no specific rule can be given the family must decide these things but urge them not to be over anxious for that what still matters we could give examples unpack this unnecessary which is we're going to move forward pretty self-explanatory right usually we're going to keep reading we're just reading for context usually the family should not try to tell your story when possible avoid meeting a man through his family approach to a doctor or institution is a better bet obviously right there's a lot of prejudices and distrust you know family members for years and all that kind of stuff if if your man needs hospitalization he should have it but not forcibly unless he's violent let the doctor if he will tell him he has something in the way of a solution when your man is better the doctor might suggest a visit from you though you have talked with the family leave them out of the first discussion under these conditions your prospect will see he's under no pressure he will he he will feel he can deal with you without being nagged by his family yellow highlighter another theme right there here's a gem call on him while he's still jittery call on hem and her right or her continue yellow he may be more receptive when depressed that's another thing okay i find out all i can i bring a spirit of attraction not promotion i don't force people that don't want this thing i stay friendly with them and the best thing is to wait with someone's little depressed after a bender a little bit low they're more receptive like i was right perfect no more yellow see your man alone if possible at first engage in general conversation after a while turn to talk to some phase of drinking in yellow now important and yellow tell him enough about your drinking habits symptoms and experiences to encourage them to speak of himself that's another theme it's going to continue in this we're going to highlight a version of this again another page or so okay so i find out all i can about the person right i don't ask them much about their drinking at the very first conversation just find out about them a little bit without being intrusive and then i may ask a little about their drinking right but the main thing is i start to talk about my drinking my drinking bill wilson became effective with dr bob Bob, the language of love started only when Bill Wilson started to talk about his own drinking. At the beginning of that meeting, he started to talked about God and the Oxford Group solutions. Dr. Bob said to him, I wasn't there, but I'm just extrapolating from the little bit that's written for us in our history books and our big book, right? Dr. Bob said it to him. What are you talking about, Bill? I've been a part of this Oxford Group for the last two and a half years trying to use the exact same solution you're telling me. I haven't been successful. And then Bill remembered what Dr. Sokwa told him. Bill, what are you doing? Tell these guys about alcoholism as I've told you. And then if you see they can relate, then present the solution. Bill started to talk about his drinking. And then Dr. Bob writes in the big book, I think in his story and in some other places in the Big Book, that the main reason why he was able to use the same solution, the six steps of the Oxford Group, that he was trying and failed that for two and a half years the same solution and it worked was because he saw another man in the flesh in front of him that knew about the drinking game not about the cocaine game not about to hear on game knock about the gamble honics anonymous game about the drinking game from actual experience traditions make us effective drinking game by the way I'm a cocaine addict and I'm an alcoholic you never hear me talk about cocaine alcoholics anonymous when I'm in Seattle effectiveness effect man did I just preach either. I'm sorry, guys. I went out of soapbox there. I apologize. I apologize. Oh my God. Okay. No, no, no. So what I mean is the point of that is tell him about your drinking habits, what we highlighted. Symptoms and experiences to encourage him to speak of himself. Encourage him to speak of themselves. No more yellow. If he wishes to talk let him do so. No He will thus get a better idea of how you ought to proceed. See, I'm always listening and praying. How can I be most effective? He wants to talk. Okay, let him talk for a little while. Let him talk. It's okay. I don't need to prove a point here. I need to teach him about alcoholism, get him free in this conversation. Take it easy, Ali. Take it easily. You will thus got a better understanding and a better view of how you are to proceed if he's not communicative. Give him a sketch of your drinking career up to the time you quit. but say nothing for the moment of how that was accomplished if he's in a serious mood do all the troubles liquor has caused him see i'm mirroring him mirroring his serious serious stories right being careful not to moralize our next door lecture like ali like i just did 10 minutes ago my apologies again if his mood is light tell him humorous stories of his of your escapades right he's light i mirror that he's like i mirror them he's not laughing and joking i'm not forcing him to see the the deadliness of this illness so you're not taking it seriously that doesn't make me affected that doesn'T make me infected that makes me play god okay i feel like i'm just talking to my old self as i'm talking right now get him get him to tell you some of his okay continue so we're not highlighting anything when he sees you know all about the drinking game commence to describe yourself as an alcoholic we're going to read another couple paragraph with no highlighting okay just stay with me on this one tell him how baffled you were how how you finally learned that you were sick give him an account of the struggles you made to stop show him the the mental twist which leads to the to the first drink of his spree we suggest you do this that we've done in the chapter on alcoholism they're talking about more about alcohol if he is enough if he is alcoholic he will understand you at once you will match him he will match your mental inconsistency with some of his own if you are satisfied that he's a real alcoholic begin to dwell on the hopeless feature of the malady show him from your own experience how the career the queer the weird mental condition surrounding that that first drink prevents normal functioning of the the willpower don't at this stage refer to the book unless he has seen it and wishes to discuss it right in a we all seen the book right so where does this mean me today let him draw his own conclusions if if he sticks to the idea that he can control his drinking tell him he possibly can if he's not too alcoholic but insist that if he severely affected there may be little chance he covered by himself right so now same thing right on the theme of the theme i talk about my drinking i talk about my drinking to demonstrate what alcoholism is in the hopes that he can match my experiences he can see himself he can use my experience as a mirror to see himself right so the next paragraph highlighting yellow the first three sentences please continue to speak of alcoholism as an illness it's a fatal malady please grab the pen circle the word illness it's enormous continue to speak about cause imagine this way as i'm talking about my drinking fatal mouthy continuing yellow talk about the conditions of body and mind which accompany it when you get a chance please grab a pen please circle body please circle mine it's giving me like clear suggestions on how to go about sharing about my drinking right this is how we 12-step people okay body and mind circle body circle mind which accompany continuing yellow keep his attention focused mainly on your own personal experience end of yellow please grab the pen circle in one circle your own personal your your personal experience your personal experiences circle that please okay so there's a theme that we're continuing the theme that was just you know from the last page the theme is I talk about my drinking how I talk it in a way to demonstrate that physical allergy body we circle then the mental obsession mind we circle I keep the focus on my drinking that's what until he's ready he or she is ready to talk about his or her drinking okay okay perfect so now if you if you please we're gonna sort of summarize that theme that we find out a few times on the left margin if you Please turn the book clockwise 90 degrees so the left Margin is facing you we're going to use make use of the entire left margins start from the top left put a bullet point we're Going to write what I have taken two full lines that go from the bottom of the page to the top of the page on the left when i hit two full lines so please write this share with prospect so prospect in the big book they're called prospect protege in a lingo we talk about sponsee right share with prospects or or you could even we could even like be like you know semantics i guess you could say well prospect potentially is not even a sponsor yet they're just fine okay okay well we know what we're talking about So share with prospect about alcoholism. Please write that. Share with prospect about alcohol. After alcoholism, please put a bracket. Please put mind, mind, body, end of bracket. So after alcoholism, we're going to open brackets up. We're going to put mind, comma, body and the brackets. In mind, like mind, the mental obsession when I'm sober, I keep going back to it. Body, the physical allergy when I drink, what happens? It keeps taking, I Keep drinking, right? And the brackets continue by relaying your own experiences period and there's one more sentence after this by relaying your own experiences period okay so share with prospect about alcoholism mind body by relating your own experiences period so what that does is that makes it the big book talks about someplace earlier it's this stuff is this step one information it becomes academic and pointless if i don't share my experience around if the person has an experience it's academic and pointless right so by share with prospect about alcoholism minds mind comma body in brackets and then by relaying your own experiences period last sentence if he slash she identifies comma if he slashed she identifies karma then speak of the spiritual solution period if he see she identifies kama then speak up the spiritual solution okay so i only speak of a spiritual solution if the person identifies now how does that meet us in the in the where we are in aaa today well of course we're talking about god and meetings a person has heard about god's spirit right off the bat right but in my personal uh one-on-one session with the person i i of course you know i don't shy away from the subject of god with thought tact and common sense but my focus is trying to see if they can relate somehow to step one and then because if the the person doesn't relate that's why there's 50 something pages of the steps on chapters right before we get into any step two stuff because if the person does not relate to step one the rest is pointless god higher power whatever okay there's a lot of debate and arguments right okay so if he she identifies comma then speak of the spiritual then speak of the Spiritual Solution period okay very good okay so that's done we're going back to the big book we're just going to read continue from what we left off highlighting okay so explain no more highlighting explain that many are doomed who never realize their predicament doctors are rightly low to tell alcoholic patients the whole story unless it will serve some good purpose but you may talk to him about the hopelessness of alcoholism because you offer a solution you will soon have your friend admitting he has many if not all of the traits of the alcoholic if his own doctor is willing to tell him that he's alcoholic so much the better even though your protege your protegee and prospect protege may not have entirely admitted his condition he has become very curious to know how you got well okay grab the yellow highlighter now please we're going to highlight the rest of the paragraph in yellow important let him ask you that question if he will tell him exactly what happened to you all in yellow the spiritual feature stress the spiritual future freely if the man be agnostic or atheist make it emphatic that he does not have to agree with your conception of god he can choose any conception he likes provided it makes sense to him the main thing is that he'd be willing to believe in a power within himself and that he lived by spiritual principles right so the spiritual feature is really the spiritual this program is a spiritual program but i i stress the spirituality of this program and god and once the step one stuff is done mainly you know and this doesn't mean that okay rigidity is the prison in which i die in right god will provide the assignment exactly what it is so these are just general principles Okay no more highlighting. When dealing with such a person, you had better use everyday language to describe spiritual principles. There is no use arousing any prejudice he may have against certain theological terms and conceptions about which he may already be confused. In yellow here's another theme continuation. Another theme in yellow don't raise such issues no matter what your own convictions are. Don't raise such issues no matter what your convictions are that's in yellow okay they're going to tell me why not to do that your prospect may belong to a religious denomination we have some friends in this call actually in this zoom meeting that belong to religious denominations are ordained in them his religious education and training may be far superior to yours in that case he's going to wonder how you can add anything to what he she already knows but he will be curious to learn why his own convictions have not worked and yours seem to work so well he may be an example of the truth that here's a gem right here grab the yellow highlighter please faith alone faith alone is insufficient okay let's highlight the next sentence to be vital faith must be accompanied by self-sacrifice and unselfish constructive action that's in yellow you may say to yourself for the faith that i belong here we do a lot of unselfished constructive action soup kitchens and buying groceries for people that don't can't afford it and feeding the homeless right all beautiful things that one should do if they're called to and you know we all i think should right but it seems to be that alone is insufficient for alcoholics to stay sober okay so from the yellow please put a arrow we just hide that in yellow right the faith alone is insufficient to be vital faith must be accompanied by self-sacrifice and unselfish constructive action please put a little line in an arrow to the right margin turn the book counterclockwise you're going to write along the the long ways along the right margin and the span of that paragraph i guess please write this what they're talking about in this book what sets alcoholics anonymous apart from every other religion and spiritual path in the sense that it really works for alcoholics faith uh self-sacrifice and constructive action they're telling you that ready 12 steps please write these 12 steps as a design for living 12 steps as a design for living now more specifically we could say the 12th step that's constructive action for others and practicing principles in our affairs trying to pass this message on top but let's just cast a really wide umbrella really broad and rule these 12 steps as designed for living they seem to provide for me a set of actions which I can be unselfish and very effective and constructive and adding to other people's lives in such a way that keeps me sober that nothing else seemed to nothing else seem to passing this message on working with others okay perfect so no more yellow let's go back let him see what that you are not here to instruct them in religion admit that he probably knows more about it than you do but call this call to his attention the fact that however deep is faith and knowledge he could not have applied it or he would not drink perhaps your story will help him see where he has failed to practice the very precepts he knows so well we represent no particular faith or denomination we are dealing only with general principles common to most denominations okay well i think we talked about that last week right we have mullahs and rabbis and priests and nuns and spiritual teachers and doing leading ashrams and 10 days silent meditation an alcoholic synonymous for this very reason because it works because it works the false test is i live for living highlighting yellow the next paragraph please highlighting yellow important outline the program of action explaining how you have made a self-appraisal how you strain out your past and why you are now endeavoring to be helpful to him continuing yellow it is important for him to realize that your attempt to pass this on to him plays a vital part in his in your own recovery beautiful theme right there beautiful suggestion right there right all that in yellow so from the yellow please put a little line and arrow to the left margin turn the book clockwise so the left version is facing you just write long ways i'm gonna write maybe a couple of couple of lines there please write this spend time outlining the 12 steps that's the first sentence period spend time outlined in the 12th steps okay please write that so basically when i meet somebody and i have a conversation with them i have coffee with them you know i learn all they can about them and i talk about my drinking and they start to relate a little bit i'm like satisfied enough that they may at least potentially be one of us right that's good enough right right and then and then what i do is i outline the 12 steps for them i don't want to coerce somebody and manipulate somebody at that point in time i don' t wanna oh i'm just gonna not say the word god at all and then just surprise them halfway through the steps i'm not going to do that right so what i got i gotta be honest anything that's built on the foundation of honesty has a chance to grow anything is built on a foundation of truth and manipulation will crumble or come right so i spend some time 10 minutes 5 minutes 15 minutes outlining the 12 steps in a very general way okay so then do you want what i have do you wanna stay sober i could sponsor you i could take you through the 12th steps i sure okay perfect let me tell tell you what about the 12 steps see if you want to even do them okay and i go and talk a little bit you're gonna at some point we're going to learn about what alcoholism is and at some point uh you know we're gonna write some inventories and people that you hated and at some time you gotta try really hard to look at what your mistakes are do you owe money yes i do well when we get to that step we have to start paying it back if you harm people if it's revealed you out of this path that you've harmed people you're gonna have to as a desire to start to set right the harm and that and eventually we're gonna have to build a prayer meditative life eventually you're going to have to tap into a power of getting yourselves and build a relationship with that power through prayer meditation and at some point you're not going to pass it on just like i'm passing on to you to someone else so they don't die are you willing to do that are you sure don't i don't soft sell it i don's not it's important to be honest right off the bat you know so it's a point for the person to have a desire themselves not through my manipulations and coercion try to get them in the program halfway through the steps because they'll leave anyways they'll believe anyways if i'm not honest right okay so please the second sentence is so the first sentence was that we wrote spend time outlining 12 steps the second sentence below that if you want do not soft sell this program do not self-sell this program do not solve dash cell this program everyone can hear me i see some puzzled faces yeah okay soft cell what that means i'm not going to hard sell it either you have to get a relationship with god or die but i'm looking at the soft salad i'm going to be honest about what it is But you have to want this thing. This is not for everybody. It's not for anybody. If it was for everybody, everybody would be jumping for joy and sober. We would have such a better world today. It's tough for everybody It's hard for me to decide who is for us, for God this time. Excuse me. Okay. Perfect. Let's go back to the big book. Okay. So we finished highlighting the last sentence. We highlighted in yellow was it is important for him to realize, for him or her to realize that your attempt to pass this on to him plays a vital role in your recovery. I always try to say that. It really humbles me that espansi is not my agenda to keep sober. That's not my gender anymore. I seem to be more effective. If I seem to enjoy life, an alcoholic is not a salamu. When I don't have that as an agenda. A sponsor or protege is a gift from God for me to stay sober, for me To be present to the beauty of this life as a result of just trying to be of service to another alcoholic. So actually, what they say, we're not highlighting now. Actually, he may be helping you more than you are helping him. Make it plain he is under no obligation to you that you hope only that he will try to help other alcoholics when he escapes his own difficulties highlighting yellow please suggest how important in yellow suggest how important it is that he placed the welfare of other people ahead of his own important okay important and on the previous point i'm not like i try always to like yeah you have no obligation to me you should know that by me trying to help you you it's like universe gave me a gift as this the way this program works and me trying to help you i get to stay sober and live a beautiful life so there is some self self-interest in it it really is you know they don't have no obligation you're beautiful okay so let's go back this um make it clear that he's not under pressure that he need to see you again if he doesn't want to you should not be offended if he wants to call it off for he has helped you more than he has helped them, how true that is. And we can all give thousands of examples for that. If your talk has been sane, quiet, and full of human understanding, you have perhaps made a friend. Maybe you have disturbed him about the question of alcoholism. This is all to the good, okay? It's all to be good if I disturb somebody, not me, you understand what they're talking about, about the question of alcoholicism, about their drinking, the powerlessness of it, right? What it really means be an alcoholic highlighting yellow again repetition of this theme the more hopeless he feels the better continuing yellow he will more likely to follow your suggestions the more hope he feels, the better he would be more likely following suggestion no more yellow that's the last yellow your candidate will give reasons why he need not follow all the program he may rebel at the thought of a drastic house cleaning which requires discussion with other people do not contradict such views see this tells me you have to do an inventory or die no it doesn't say don't do that do not contradict his views tell him you once thought as he does but you doubt whether you would have made such program much progress if you if if had you not taken action on your first visit tell him about the fellowship of alcoholics anonymous if he shows interest and then this copy this book again this was a time where people didn't want to go to meetings but we see that where this meets us unless your friend wants to talk further about himself do not wear out your welcome give him a chance to think it over if you do stay let him steer the conversation in any direction he likes sometimes a new man is anxious to proceed at once and you may be attempted you may be tempted to let him do so this is sometimes a mistake if he has trouble later he's likely to say you rushed them i'm always praying god is this my assignment what do you want me to do here guy it's my assignment maybe the assignment is not start with him right now he's way too anxious i don't know right so i'm not pushing in private right highlighting yellow the rest of the paragraph very important please you will be most successful without with alcoholics if you do not exhibit any passion of crusader reform this doesn't mean we don't have enthusiasm we really do some of us more more enthusiastic than others oh good everyone's been given a different assignment right enthusiasm is beautiful but when i used to exhibit a passion for crusade or reform i wanted to kill off everybody that had a different point of view than me that didn't do it my way on my timeline i'm not gonna be successful with anybody on that right continue in yellow never talk down to an alcoholic from any moral or spiritual health top simply lay out the kid of spiritual tools for his or her inspection show him how they worked with you all beautiful gems all in yellow way offer him her friendship and fellowship tell him if he wants get while you're doing anything to help there was a period when i was a big book in hand had an incredible experience with this big book early on and it was almost like i was uh i in hindsight it was like a drive-through of sponsorship you know like mcdonald's drive-thru right booking appointments appointing coffee shops just drive through judge right take your highlight particular how do i do this do that take it and very little friendship very little being in someone else's life and i found that when i was doing that i started to get spiritually sick it became really mechanical the words in this book became a prison in which my spirit was literally dying in and i became and i and i began i felt like a fraud because i'm like what's happening i'm passing this message on i've had incredible experiences i'm missing something three-part program unity recovery service right i missed the boat on the unity part man like you know fellowship of the spirit these guys early on you know when they were in each other's lives they were working their steps however they were doing at that time right they're working their stuff but they were helping each other and each other's lives and funerals and weddings and you know what i mean helping each other get jobs and fellowship this this program better stop being a theory i gotta live it and then like takes on a new medium so so this is huge you know what i mean i found that when i was at mcdonald's drive-thru of big booking big book sponsorship they used to call it right my walk became really shallow really shallow and at times it was like as if i was serving this beautiful delicious spiritual meal in the back of a garbage can led to people but when i start to offer them friendship and really be interested in people's lives and kindness and more humility and less rigidity and god what's my assignment and oh my god god thank you look what he's teaching me all of a sudden it says like this beautiful spiritual meal we both started dine on a very elegant clean dish together rather than be serving it to somebody i don't know that was important to me that revelation i don t know what that meant for you when i just shared i didn't know if it made sense any of them that's the point to me knowledge is not enough knowledge is not enough if he's not interested in your solution if you expect it by the way i'm just amazed i'm just amazed because this session i've just been reading we have 180 people nobody is left of somebody just reading there's some power in this in the in this pathway and then in this book it's always just reading okay if he is not interested In your solution, if he expects you to act only as a banker for his financial difficulties or a nurse for his sprees you may have to drop him until he changes mind this may this he may do after he gets hurt some more if he is so we're not gonna they're setting us up for a theme we're going to highlight right if he isn't if he is sincerely interested and wants to see you again ask him to read this book in the interval after doing that he must decide for himself whether he wants to go on you should not be he should not be pushed or prodded by you his wife or his friends highlighting yellow important if he is to find god the desire must come from within see that's why i read to push prod lie manipulate just totally honest lay out the spiritual tools because if he's defined god or she's to find god the design must come with it anyways i'm not to do with that anyways circle the word must end that please must come from within there's many must in this big book we say as a joke with the spirit of attraction and spirit of suggestion right when he must in his book you know the part where it says again when it doesn't come to read this book in the interval again if it fits the situation right these are like a lot of people if you ask them to go read this book and come back they'll never finish reading it so just wear the spirit right whatever where the spirit guides you again we're not going to be literal with anything this book like all spiritual books has deep spiritual truths that are beyond the literal that are beyond the cognitive mind okay is where does it meet me um okay if he thinks he can do the job in some other way or prefer some other spiritual approach encourage him to follow his own conscious i love this part i love this part okay highlighting yellow now important we have no monopoly on god my staunch big boogers we have normal monopoly on God continue highlighting yellow we merely have an approach that work with us that's it let's see that moment we have no monopoly on God alcoholism in fact our program has been distilled from thousands of years of spiritual teachings through different paths and different religions is distilled in a way that we can digest in this two-inch book that becomes thousands of kilometers deep when i put my experience on it i better stay humble to that i got no monopoly on god you want to try religion you don't want to try this god bless you but let's just stay friendly okay beautiful guess what by the way many of us me i'm talking about me me when this book became a treasure map not the treasure treasure map while keeping the big book in the 12 steps as a foundation as my oxygen to breathe i think in the last session we talked about this i go to religious people and other spiritual people for an expansion on my god consciousness that are not alcoholics so we have no monopoly on god i certainly don't okay uh okay perfect we highlighted that we have a monopoly on God we merely have an approach that work with us no more yellow highlighting but point out that we alcoholics have much in common and that you would like in any case to be friendly let it go on that okay okay i wanna okay one more one more page and i always just wanted some sharing at the end okay do not be discouraged because i want to cover what we cover the next next next session we're gonna cover everything we need to cover i'm gonna have more time for sharing uh do not be discouraged not no yellow no highlighting do not be discouraged if your prospect does not respond at once search out another alcoholic and try again you are sure to find someone desperate enough to accept with eagerness what you offer highlighting yellow now very important we find that a waste of time they say to us still seems to be true in yellow we find it a wasted time to keep chasing a man woman who cannot or will not work with you waste the time not in this way waste of time like i used to do but you just don't want it bad enough i'm not going to waste my time with you that was shameful man wow that was such a shameful period in my life or tell other people he just doesn't want to back up that's why he keeps going out wow that's shameful way to be okay so but but in this we not we find it a waste of time to keep them chasing a man who cannot work or will not work with you and just i won't chase them right in yellow continue if you leave such a person alone he may soon become convinced that he cannot recover by himself he's gotta see it not me continuing yellow to spend too much time with anyone situation is to deny some other alcoholic an opportunity to live and be happy okay end of highlight see they don't be happy whether it cannot or will not either there cannot or there will not none of my business i just see that it's not working as kindly as i can i just stop chasing i stay friendly i go to meetings if i have to i answer calls definitely most of the time right because i gotta leave the spiritual space open for god to send me other people because if i keep chasing somebody who's not ready they're going to become resentful they're gonna push back i'm gonna ruin another opportunity it becomes about me and my ideas and me playing god rather than what's best for them that's best with them okay perfect no more yellow one of our fellowship failed entirely this first half dozen prospects he often says that if that if he had continued to work on them he might have deprived many others who have since recovered their chance we're going to continue no yellow suppose you are making your second visit to a man he has read this volume and says he's prepared to go through with the 12 steps of the program of recovery having had this experience yourself you can give a much practical experience. Let him know if you're available, let him know you are available if he wishes to make a decision and tell his story but do not insist upon it if he prefers to consult someone else. He wouldn't highlight it because we already highlighted that. We don't insist, we don't push. He may be broke and homeless. So I like this part. Let's cover this part and then we'll he may be broken homeless. If he is, you might try to help him about getting a job or give him a little financial assistance, but you should not deprive your family or creditors of money they should have. Perhaps you will want to take the man into your home for a few days, but be sure use discretion. Be certain he will be welcomed by your family and that he is not trying to impose upon you for money, connection, and shelter. Again, each situation is different. Prayer, meditation, consultation with everybody that may be affected. These days, thank God, a lot of shelters, a lot of detoxes, a lot of stuff. I wouldn't put my family in danger of that, but it may be a situation that may be one. Highlighting yellow please. The point is this though. The point ist this. Highlight yellow. Permit that and you only harm him. At the bottom of page 96, permit that he only harm him. Continuing yellow. You will be making it possible for him to be insincere. Continuing yellow, you may be eating in his destruction rather than his recovery. You may be aiding his destruction rather than it's recovery. All in yellow, okay? We're gonna keep reading this, it's gonna explain an impact for us now, okay. No, don't highlight anymore. Never avoid these responsibilities but we sure you are doing the right thing if you assume them. Highlighting yellow, important. Helping others is the foundation stone of your recovery. Helping others is the foundation stone of your recovery. Okay, remember certain yellow highlights? I put asterisks or stars on either side of the column. They're just super important on this theme here. Please do that with this one. Asterisk on the right column, asterisk on the left column because helping others is the foundational stone of my recovery. Okay, no more yellow. Let's see what it says. A kindly act once in a while isn't enough. You have to act the good Samaritan every day if need be. It may be the loss of many nights sleep, great interference with your pleasures, interruptions to your business. It may mean sharing your money and your home, counseling frantic wives and relatives, innumerable trips to police courts, sanitariums, hospitals, jails and asylums. Your telephone may jangle at any time of the day or night. Your wife may sometimes say she's neglected. A drunk may smash the furniture in your home or burn a mattress. These are all experiences that those guys had and some of us still have. You may have to fight with him if he is violent. Sometimes you have to call the doctor and administer sedative under his direction. And another time, you may have send for the police or an ambulance. Occasionally, you will have to meet these conditions, such conditions. So please turn the book counterclockwise so the right margin is facing you along the span of this paragraph we're going to write this please you may write two lines if you want okay i'm gonna read the whole thing so you see how much space not much we must help others even when inconvenient for us period that's it okay so we're summarizing what that paragraph is saying I mean, we must help others even when inconvenient for us. That's, I believe that's the spiritual gem in this paragraph and everything is saying, right? I may not give people sedatives these days from doctor's direction or whatever fight with them, right. But the point of that is that cardiac once in a while isn't enough to make me feel good. I gotta be willing and ready to help others even when it's inconvenient for me. What does that look like for you Ali? Looks different for everybody. looks different for everybody but that doesn't mean that if somebody doesn't want to pick up the phone at two in the morning because they got a young family that they're not working no i never pick up the phone in fact i ask people please don't call me after 10 p.m at night if you're in that much danger 9-1-1 prayer first nine one one other alcoholics i have a young fan right i don't say it that way i'm just joking but i let them know right so for me it looks different right a lot of different ways for you may look differently but the point is that i i gotta be willing and ready to help others even when inconvenient for me because uh helping others the foundation stone on my recovery okay we seldom allow alcohol an alcoholic to live in our homes for long at a time it is not good for him and it sometimes creates a serious complication of family though an alcoholic does not respond, there's no reason why you should neglect this family. If I've met him through the family and I've built a relationship with the family that is, you should continue to be friendly to them. The family should be offered your way of life. Should they accept and practice spiritual principles, there is a much better chance that the head of the family will recover. And even though he continues to drink, the family Will find life more bearable. Okay, let's continue reading we're almost there for the type of alcoholic who's able and willing to get well little charity in the ordinary sense of the word is needed or wanted okay so now notice again we're not unpacking we're not highlighting we're just we're highlighting only the themes of this program when i'm going one-on-one with a gentleman just the themes i'm talking about the themes if something comes to my heart experience i may share because we're going to keep referring to these pages as the person is sponsoring people and situations come we're going to keep referring to these pages right so i don't need to memorize or unpack anything intellectually highlighting yellow please the men important the men who cry for money and shelter before conquering alcohol are on the wrong track on the drunk track okay no more yellow yeah we do to a we go to great extremes to provide each other with these very things when such action is warranted this may seem inconsistent but it's not like i used to come get a little bit of relief in aa uh and then think okay i just need love in my life and start chasing love start chasing school start chasing accurate no wrong track harry by the way these spiritual truth meet me today and the drink question has been taken away for a few years so if at any time i'm having trouble in my life and i think that i need to conquer finances or love before being at peace i'm on the wrong track too because in every situation it seems to be that when the spiritual malady is overcome i strain out physically and mentally every single time it doesn't fail okay so let's keep going uh highlighting yellow it is not the matter of we have one minute left we're going to use it so i'm going to stay for an hour on this computer for any sharing for any questions next week we're gonna maybe 30 minutes of big book stuff we're gonna finish and the rest of it is going to be sharing from people who have experience now using doing what we're doing in this workshop and passing it on okay so highlighting yellow It is not the matter of giving that is in question, but when and how to give. That's in yellow. When and how-to-give, not the manner of giving. When and How-To-Give. No more highlight. That often makes a difference between failure and success. Okay? Highlighting yellow now. The minute we put our work on a service plane, the alcoholic commences to rely upon our assistance rather than upon God. That's an yellow. may need to stay an extra minute please stay at the end of this paragraph we just need okay please if you don't mind so highlighting yellow the minute we put our work on a service plane that the alcoholic commences rely upon artists rather than upon god so within in this service in this context they're talking about my human uh service like i'm always buying cigarettes for a new alcoholic always buying them bus passes always paying their rent always buying groceries right there's a time and place for that the minute you start doing that too much they're going to rely upon you rather than upon god but that doesn't mean we don't do that at times of course we do right of course okay so no more yellow he clamors for this and that claiming he cannot master alcohol until his needs are cared for his material needs are careful nonsense some of us have taken very hard knots to turn learn this truth okay the last highlight of today the rest of the paragraph here's the truth beautiful job or no job is all in yellow wife or no wife we simply do not stop drinking so long as we place dependence upon other people ahead of dependence upon god i had a dependence upon God okay one more small paragraph i like one more small paragraph see it's a small one that's in yellow okay no more yellow no more yellow burn the idea into the consciousness of every man that he can get well regardless of anyone last sentence in yellow what a beautiful truth the only condition is that he trusts god and clean house trust god clean house And that's the yellow highlight.