Step 11 – FOTS Step 11 Workshop – Part 18 of 29 – 2025 – Chris S.

About This Speaker Tape

FOTS Step 11 Workshop - 2025

A 20-year run of chronic alcoholism left Chris S. as a blackout oblivion drinker who closed the bar every night and woke up in a cloud of delusion. He entered the rooms in 1989 initially belligerent and argumentative trying to treat his disease with massive meeting attendance and a desperate willingness to pick up chairs. The shift from desperation to inspiration came through cassette tapes and Big Book workshops leading him to a disciplined spiritual life. He describes the 'holy now' as the only place to escape a head that wants to kill him moving from a 'hundred percent maniac' to a manageable level of sanity. Through the rigorous application of Step 11 he transitioned from reading spiritual menus to actually eating the meal finding that the days he skipped prayer were always the worst. He now views recovery as a habitual discipline of survival and sanity rather than a matter of virtue.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:45 Chris S. discusses the foreign concept of turning one's will over to a Higher Power upon entering AA.
• 4:12 Description of the 'blackout, oblivion' phase of his drinking and closing the bars.
• 7:30 The transition from meeting attendance to Big Book workshops and cassette tapes.
• 10:15 Step 4 and the 'head that wants to kill me'u2014discussing resentment and shame.
• 13:40 The process of making amends to old bosses, wives, and stores he stole from.
• 17:20 A story about his sponsor, Phil, asking if he prays while Chris is fleeing prosecution and facing a zero balance in his bank account.
• 22:10 Discussion on the difference between reading spiritual literature and putting it into practice.
• 26:45 The concept of the 'holy now' and the illness of dislocation.
• 31:10 Laughter: Discussion on the 'wide guardrails' of recovery and the danger of belligerent denial.
• 35:40 Q&A: Discussion on the 'dark night of the soul' and crises of faith.
• 41:15 Detailed explanation of his current meditation practice and the 'stream of consciousness' exercise.
• 48:20 Closing thoughts on the 'default setting' of selfishness and the need for habitual discipline.