Step 11 – FOTS Step 11 Workshop – Part 18 of 29 – 2025 – Amy D.

About This Speaker Tape

FOTS Step 11 Workshop - 2025

Five years into sobriety Amy D. was still a 'tough girl' who kicked in her neighbor's door and threw keys at her boss despite having a surface-level relationship with the steps. Her turning point came when her sponsor called her 'surfacy,' challenging her to dive into the second half of Step 11. Amy describes a shift from the chaos of needing a radio on 24/7 to finding peace in stillness guided meditations and skin-to-skin contact with the earth. She moves from being a 'fixer' who bulldozes others to a woman who can hold space in silence. The narrative centers on the transition from a rigid defensive posture to a vulnerable spiritual openness illustrated by her ability to grieve her father's death in 2019 with a sense of peace rather than the wreckage of her past.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:45 Amy D. shares her sobriety date (March 6, 2010) and the importance of literature-based sponsorship.
• 2:15 Story about her sponsor's children being murdered and Amy's initial, misguided instinct to 'exact vengeance' rather than find grace.
• 5:30 Laughter: Amy describes her 'surfacy' period, including kicking in a neighbor's door and being a bully five years sober.
• 8:45 Discussion of Step 11 and the struggle to meditate due to ADHD and a 'surfacy' relationship with a Higher Power.
• 12:10 Amy describes her 'white light' spiritual experience during Step 7 and her subsequent fear of being alone with her Higher Power.
• 15:40 Concrete practices: guided meditations from YouTube, yoga, and walking barefoot on the earth for 'skin-to-skin' connection.
• 18:20 Amy reflects on the death of her father in October 2019 and how meditation allowed her to grieve with peace.
• 22:10 The 'fixer' mentality: how meditation taught her to listen without the impulse to direct or criticize.
• 26:45 Amy discusses the 'ebb and flow' of spirituality and the danger of stopping the practices that make life go great.
• 31:15 A moment of intuitive clarity in her truck regarding her children and the 'heavy lifting' of her Higher Power.
• 35:20 Discussion on the 'Now' and the process of weaning herself off the constant noise of the radio.
• 42:10 Closing thoughts on being a 'vessel' for love and the importance of staying connected to avoid ending up in homeless shelters.