Step 11 and the Solitude of Listening to Higher Power – Bill D.

About This Speaker Tape

Tacoma Park, Maryland, 1944. A child in a log cabin with no working toilet, sharing a bed with siblings and watching a mother disappear into jails and mental hospitals. Bill D. grew up amidst rampant alcoholism and poverty, finding a "magic elixir" in a stolen fifth of Four Roses that offered a temporary escape from abandonment. He describes himself as a "little thief, a liar, and a little cheat" who eventually spiraled through the "dark years"—a decade of five devastating divorces and a brush with a 15-to-life sentence in Santa Cruz County.

The turning point arrived as an "incomprehensible demoralization." His guardian angel, Reiner, drove overnight to hand him the Big Book. After a failed attempt at "wallflower" sobriety, Bill hit step zero. He compares surrender to General Lee at Appomattox, moving to the winning side. Now a coordinator for H&I, Bill finds his home in the maximum security yard of Folsom Prison, carrying the message to those still trapped.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Bill D. opens with his identity as a 'social drinker down on his luck' and a recovered alcoholic.
• 6:15 Description of extreme childhood poverty in Maryland: the log cabin, the leaking septic tank, and the 'white trash' label.
• 12:40 The first taste of whiskey at age nine and the discovery of the 'magic elixir' to fight loneliness.
• 17:20 Life at the military academy in Tennessee: corporal punishment and academic records.
• 25:30 The 'dark years' and the legal brush with a 15-to-life sentence in Santa Cruz.
• 32:10 Reiner A. delivers the Big Book after a midnight drive from San Bernardino.
• 41:00 Laughter: Story about his first visit to Folsom Prison and the confusion over clearance.
• 52:15 Discussion of Step 1 and the metaphor of General L. surrendering at Appomattox.
• 58:40 A detailed account of Step 9: making amends to the CHP officer.
• 1:05:20 The 'Higher Power house' metaphor: opening the shutters to let in the sunlight of the spirit.
• 1:15:10 Detailed breakdown of H&I work, the VATF board, and the logistics of prison meetings.
• 1:24:00 Closing thoughts on recidivism and the restoration of dignity for inmates.