Step 11 and the Right Answer Bubbling Up – Dan

About This Speaker Tape

Pico Boulevard, Los Angeles. A 37-year-old drug dealer, penniless and shipwrecked, crawls out of a hideous bender in his father's car. Dan arrives at a friend's door with a sudden, jarring realization: "I think I'm ready for supervision." He describes a life spent in conflict with the world, once threatening to flip over a meter maid's cart in a fit of rage. For Dan, surrender isn't a Hallmark moment; it is acknowledging the "allergy of the body" and the "obsession of the mind" that make drinking a jump off a cliff into the wild unknown.

He rejects the "finger pointing at the moon" of formal religion, opting instead for a "little God"—a previously unsuspected inner resource. Now facing a "clusterfuck" of family turmoil and a son struggling with the same disease, Dan views the Third Step as the surrender of desire. He waits for the right answer to bubble up past his selfishness and fears.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Dan introduces the step workshop format and jokes about his lack of a planned pitch.
• 4:15 The 'shipwrecked' bottom: homelessness, drug dealing, and the final bender in his father's car.
• 7:30 The moment of surrender: walking into Cece's house and admitting he is 'ready for supervision.'
• 11:45 Discussion of the 'allergy of the body' and 'obsession of the mind' and the danger of overshooting the mark.
• 15:20 The 'finger and the moon' metaphor regarding religion and the concept of the 'little Higher Power' vs. 'big Higher Power.'
• 20:10 Laughter: The story of the meter maid and the desire to flip her cart.
• 24:40 The 'clusterfuck' of current home life and the struggle with his children's substance use.
• 28:15 Q&A: Discussing the 'spring-loaded switch' of desire and the definition of 'will' as desire.
• 32:00 The story of meeting his wife after stopping the 'hunting' and focusing on primary purpose.