Step 10 – Recovery Speakers — Workshop – Part 2 of 34 – 2004 – Terry R.

I'm going to go first this morning, talking a little bit about higher power, and then Terry will follow to balance things out and make them more reasonable. That's frequently his job. And this morning what I want to do is talk a little better about how I understand some of this stuff. So I'm not speaking on anybody's behalf here. And if there's anything I say that's useful, please use it. And if it's not useful, don't worry about it. And if you disagree with me, that's okay. You don't have to leave the program and I don't have to lead the program. But when we're dealing with higher power, I do believe that every grown-up adult person comes to their own understanding. And we're going to have some differences. And some of the differences might be really big and there's room for all of that I think. In the last talk I mentioned a little bit about, you know, I said something about God and the Pentagon and this is the caution I want to put about it. When you are the people in charge and real wealthy and real blessed, the danger is to think that you speak for God. We're very close to God because we're so rich and powerful. Don't you know that? And anybody who's not rich and powerfull had better get in line. This is historically disastrous thinking. I don't think that God is allied with any state, church, group To the exclusion of all other groups One of the nice things about being Catholic Is we've been around a real long time And we have made every major mistake a lot And so you can look back on 2,000 years of sex, violence, and gore and say, oh, we got that one wrong. And one of the things that happened in the 1100s is the Bishop of Rome, Pope Urban II, who was a Frenchman, decided that it was time to liberate the Holy Land from the Moslems and he called the First Crusade, crying out, God wills it. God willed it, the First crusade. and there's a whole bunch that follow and in the first crusade it was the only one that was officially successful because they actually captured control of the city of Jerusalem the Muslim leadership was very divided and had a lot of trouble and there was no one to organize them so we came as an organized group, we being the west came as an organized groups to a very divided people and we captured Jerusalem and when we went into the city of Jerusalem, the city was full of Muslims and Jews and Christians and they all looked alike and the military people and the church people bringing the crusade in killed them all God will know his own so we can kill them all and the good ones will go to heaven and the others will go wherever they go don't worry about human life let God decide this stuff and one of the first atrocities happened which was the slaughter in Jerusalem of everybody who was in there, men, women, and children, in the name of God. Now, when you do that over a couple of centuries, you have to become very cautious about proclaiming that anything is in God's name, especially when human beings are destroyed as a direct result of it. That's the caution I bring in. And this present administration in Rome, one of the things that Pope John Paul II did is he went into a mosque, into a mosque, and he said out loud, every crusade was a mistake. We're really sorry. Now that's not quite promptly admitting it. But it is admitting it and there were people in the county who said, oh you can't do that because if you admit we make mistakes then people will think we can make mistakes. Exactly. Part of the great relief of the 12-step program is that tenth step where when we're wrong we can admit it, and when we use it is God's will to destroy human beings it's almost always a great big mistake so we need to be cautious of that I'm very nervous about holy wars, and I'm very nervous about being so convinced that I'm killing you and this pleases God that's very common human thinking and I think it's very dangerous human thinking so I want to be clear on that I'm not talking just about 2004 also out there on the planet you will hear a lot of people who are pretty convinced that God punishes by making people sick oh you have this disease God's punishing you because see I don't think God does that germs don't know you're a sinner and viruses don't know that you've been bad, they just know you are there and so infection happens, all kinds of things happen and I don't think that God punishes stuff like that, so that's something else the image that Bill Wilson uses as understanding God. I'm very clear that God is big and I'm small and I pray for understanding but there's a lot I don't understand. My sponsor on one of his clearer mornings said to me if you think you as a recovering person or a church person if you think that you've crawled up the spinal column of God and you've gotten into God's brain and you are now looking out to see things as God sees them. You're very dangerous. You're a very dangerous person. And historically, that's true. That's the point I want to make about Pope Urban II who at least added to 800 years of misery in the Holy Land. and a lot of... Be humble, you know? We don't know a lot. I think God is at work. I think God is doing lots of things. I think God is active. I think God is involved in the whole human enterprise, not just my club. The whole human enterprise. And when I was in the novitiate with the Jesuits, we had a wonderful teacher named John Kelly. He was a wonderful, kind man. Um, and he said, do not pray to do great things for God. Pray that you just don't get in the way. And I like that. I just don' t want to get in the way of whatever God's doing. But I'm not the one that has to do things. Bill Wilson in the book uses the image of electricity. And he says, you know, we use electricity all the time but we don't understand it. Let me talk about that for just a moment. I think there is this energy, this force, this power that's out there. If I'm going to flip a light to turn the lights on, I don't have to say, okay, let me get this clear. This switch is attached to these wires and these wires are attached to that gizmo, and that gizm was attached to that gizмо, and the and that goes all the way to the dam, and the water's pouring through the dam and the hydro... Let me get that clear. Let me give that clear! Okay, okay, got it. Got it. Flip. Then the light goes on. I can just flip the switch. And even though I don't understand electricity, it works. And what I see in the program is meetings and the fellowship and the honest interaction between people is so full of the power of the higher power that frequently all I have to do is make myself present for it and I benefit by it. And there's a lot I don't understand. And I think that's a good thing. Augustine is a 4th century North African passionate difficult tries a lot of different stuff he's a seeker, big seeker smart and he does a lot of writing and his intellect is so powerful that he focuses and shapes the thinking in the Latin church for about eight or nine hundred years. That's very powerful, and he's heavily influenced by Plato and how that works and perfect ideas and all I mean, but just the way he phrased things was so powerful And here's one of the things he said, and I like it He said we have an understanding that seeks faith and a faith that seeks understanding. Fides quae res intellectum. A faith that seeks understanding, so there's nothing wrong with asking questions or saying, can we look at this more closely? Or that wonderful word that two-year-olds know so well, why? Why? That does not make God angry when we ask questions. Now sometimes it makes mom and dad angry at the end of a long day when the two-year-old has 74 wives, more to ask. But God doesn't wear out. And if we have an understanding that seeks faith, and a faith that seeks understanding, I think that internally we're in a pretty good place. I don't think it is a bad thing to have questions. I do not think it's a bad thing to ask questions. When I was teaching high school boys, which I like most of the time, I like them most ofthe time, which is good. I was teaching theology to 17 and 18 year olds and I said it's really a good thing to have questions and it's a wonderful thing ask questions please if you have questions it implies you're interested well at the Catholic school down the street they were told have no questions sit up straight and do what you're told and you'll get along fine now those are two different models and I do not choose to live in model number two. You'll memorize your answers, and you'll be fine. I want to be with some kind of a free exchange of ideas. I think, personally, I don't like censorship. I don' t like banning things. I don''t like outlawing ideas. I don'T like arresting heretics. I DON'T like running inquisitions or purges. and all of those have been done in God's name. I like, and this is part of being a 21st century North American, I like the free exchange of ideas and I think that God is strong enough to be present in the free change of ideas. And I'll disagree with a lot of people about a lot of things. That's right. It's okay. But the electricity, I don't have to have a perfect understanding of electricity to be able to use it usefully. I read a lot about theology sometimes and I taught history for a long time, I know a lot of those things and I can play with ideas in a couple of languages and I like all that but it didn't get from my head to my heart and my gut until I was sober for a while. And part of what happened, it's osmosis. I surrounded myself with sober people because I went to meetings and socialized with people and made phone calls. I went through meetings and hung out with people a lot and all of my heavy ideas, which could not keep me sober, finally fell into place when I was around a lot of sober people. I picked up hope from you. And one of my great spiritual awakenings at a meeting in my first year of recovery was realizing that I was not the only person in the room. Big breakthrough. Big breakthrough. And that whatever God's grace is, whatever that energy is, it was available to anybody in the group. Anybody in the world, no matter how unworthy. And I just, I kept it that simple. And then later on I'm going to sort out stuff about what that means and that means and how that fits together in the hypostatic union. We'll worry about that later. Right now, it's day at a time, don't drink, don't use, and try to be of service. Over the centuries within my denomination, they had questions about how do you know someone is really spiritually connected. On what grounds does someone get canonized after their death? And by the way, you only canonize someone long after their dead. This is an important piece of information. Because you don't know. But what are the signs of God's presence in that person's life. And the basic sign they're looking for is, is this person of service? Is this person helping out? If I were to tell you I've just had a major vision and you should build a big church to me, it doesn't ring true. However, if I said, you know, I had some kind of spiritual thing happen last night, the room filled with light, and I want to go spend my time helping drunks, something real happened there. Where's the service? Where's the service? Spiritual awakening usually brings some kind of gratitude, and the real test for gratitude, as I understand it, is service. And that's the real stuff. I was told by a wise old priest, when you're looking for people who are touched by the Spirit, look for people whose seem to you to be like old shoes. Real well-worn, real worn in, real useful, real comfortable. These aren't the people you notice first at meetings. But they're the people that do a lot of the work. The old shoe is very useful. Artists can help a lot. Musicians can help out a lot Where do people make a connection with this power greater than ourselves? Things that are written can help. Artists help. I like a lot of artistic stuff, but I can't stand some artistic stuff. There's some religious art that makes my blood run backwards. I just see it and I go, oh, I'm going to die, it's so ugly. And others look and say, oh, isn't it wonderful? You get to make your own mind up on this stuff. But if there is some art that speaks to you, make sure you have access to it. Make sure you flip the switch. If there's some music that speaks to you have access to one of the big places that a lot of us make a connection with the higher power is always in nature. It's mountains, it's trees It's valleys Stars This is a big deal Go there Last point C.S. Lewis said C.S. Lewis is an English guy I like a lot of what he wrote it's very accessible it doesn't nauseate me some spiritual and religious writing nauseates me, it's the wrong tone of voice I just read it and I go oh, really someone gave me a spiritual book and I left it on the plane it was so awful so awful now my taste is going to be different from some other person's taste I left it in the pocket so that someone else could pick it up and maybe get rid of it but C.S. Lewis who said we read to know we're not alone we read to know we're not alone and I'm a great reader let me I read a lot that's not being a great reader but I read a lot he said relying on God relying on God has to begin all over again every day as if nothing had yet been done I think it's true and I don't like it because I want to build on the glory of my many spiritual triumphs and insights you know where I really had it 99% figured out, and then I wake up one morning and I can't even get out of bed. I'm so depressed. Woke up to National Public Radio, and I wake up to one of my favorite politicians blathering about something, and I can just become a little hostile. I've been known to be hostile about politicians. I'm convinced that Lyndon Johnson kept me drunk for several years. It's hard. But what I have to do sometimes, it's not just going through the pro forma stuff of, oh God, help me get through today. It's, oh God. Today's full. I mean, there's a lot going on and that's if I don't get stuck in traffic and if everything... I have a lot to do today and there's crises and emergencies and I feel lousy. I'm headachy and I think I have diarrhea and I just hate the fact of leaving the house but there's a full day ahead of me God, I don't know if I can make it till lunch. Help me get to lunch. And then you do the footwork. And then at lunchtime it's all gone. And then by the end of the day I'm just amazed. Oh God. Thank you for getting me through today. I had no hope that this would work, and I'm really grateful. And because I'm grateful, I'm willing to be of service tomorrow, but we're going to deal with tomorrow tomorrow. Right now I'm going to bed. Good night. One of my Al-Anon friends who thinks that he runs the world, I know he's the only Al-A-Non person who has this problem, says that for years he had to end his day by saying, Oh God, I'm going to sleep now and I'm going to leave everything in your hands. But I'll be back at six and then you can relax because I'llbe running things. And there's some nasty truth there. God help me get through, help us get through. One of the things we like to do as part of our culture, we're wealthy, powerful people. We like the feeling of being satisfied and full and content. Spiritually speaking, content is not always a good place to be. For me, because when I'm content a little too long, I get complacent, and this will shock you, arrogant. And I'm pretty sure that my relationship with God is ideal, and let me tell you what's wrong with yours. So one of the Psalms, there's 150 of them. I like the psalms. Sometimes I pray them daily. Some are really upbeat and perky. Oh God, thank you for today. Hooray, aren't we pals? That kind of psalm. Other psalims are real sad and out of the depths. I cry to you. I can't stand it. I can not get from A to B help. I like that. I have a special affection for the cursing psalmes. May God kill you slowly psalms. I like those too. And they're all there. They're all there. Because these are human beings writing. But one of the psalems and if I were Protestant, I could tell you which one. Catholics know there are psalims. We don't know the numbers of the psaloms. We aren't always carefully educated in these things. But it talks about the deer yearning for running streams. As the deer yearns for running streams, so my soul yearns for you, my God. And the reflection I had on that when I was sober a little bit was this. The thirsty deer is not having a good day. Yearning for running streams. You're thirsty, you're hungry, you'RE discontented, you'RE irritable, everything's going wrong, and that's what motivates me to get to the streams, to get to water, to get the food. Hungry and thirsty spiritually is a very uncomfortable place to be. But when I'm hungry and thirsty I'm willing to do footwork a lot of times to get me to the place where there's clean water and food. When I'm content I don't need to leave my room. I have gone to meetings sometimes. Craze. Crave. Why are you going to meetings today, Tom? Because I'm thinking of hanging myself again here on my 27th birthday. And I really, rather than pulling the rope, I thought I'd come to a meeting first. That's all I have to share. I find that very hopeful talking about the hunger talking about the yearning, talking about the longing one of the Muslim writers says that God can only fill an empty place and I like that and sometimes when I'm empty I am most useful and a lot of the spiritual stuff spiritual life, spiritual conversation spiritual whatever it's to connect us somehow with this business of being sisters and brothers all human beings not just the ones I think are cute all human being and we get very stretched at least I sure have been relying on God this energy that gives life. A lot of the spiritual conversation over the centuries in a dozen languages or a hundred languages is how on earth do we human beings make the connection with the divine? And there are so many ways of approaching it and some I like and someI don't like and some make sense to me and some don't make sense but I know that somehow we're different from the divine but we're connected to the divine. And one of the writers Hindu said this We're connected to the Divine like the ocean is connected to the wave like the singer is connected to the song, like the sun is connected to the light. They're different. They're not the same, but they're connected. And there's lots of movement there. Sun, light, singer, song, ocean, wave. And as a sober person, the choice I need to make on a daily basis is to participate in that some of the ecstatic, I mean those of us from northern Europe we tend to be quiet and don't talk much in church one of my Lutheran friends went to a church in Marin County full of African American people who clapped a lot and they were all clapping a lot and my friend wasn't clapping, and he said, I don't think Lutherans are allowed to clap in church. I'll call Garrison Keillor and check that out, but I don'T think Lutheran's are allowed to clap at church. Some of us, the way we worship, it's pretty quiet. And some of us worship with great enthusiasm. And I think God is pleased by both. But in some of the enthusiastic groups of people who worship God, The image they use for what we're doing is called the dance. There is a dance going on, there's a movement going on and we get to participate in that movement and some of us dance faster and someofus dance slower and someoves occasionally sit the next dance out but we're all present for it. And I like that, come on in, comeonin, comeonein and participate in this wonderful thing of being consciously in conscious contact with God. And here's my last point. We talk about conscious contact in the program, and I like that, rather than talking about emotional contact. Sometimes emotionally, I don't feel much contact with anybody, but I'm conscious of the fact that we're connected. I think consciousness awareness is deeper than the comings and goings of emotions. Even when I'm physically feeling pretty lousy, I can be reminded of the fact, I'm aware of the fact that this too will pass. Although when I am in pain, I am sure it's never going to pass. But it will pass And through all of this, Rumi, me, the 11th century Muslim poet says, oh God, turn me into a well-baked loaf. Now, well- baked loaves of bread are not to be admired, they're to be used, you know, cut up and buttered and eaten and so forth. It's a prayer to be useful. But for me, if you ever made bread, and this is with your hands now, not with machines, you have to mix it and make it wet, and you haveと punch it, andyou have to divide it,and you haveto ignore it, and you have to punch it again and divide it again, and then bake it. There's a lot of work that goes into making bread. And sometimes I'm feeling ignored, and sometimes I feel dry, and sometime I feel punched, and some times I think I'm being kneaded, and somtimes boy am I in the other. But the result is bread. That's not a bad prayer to make. Oh God, turn Turn me into a well-baked milk. Harry R., make sense out of all this. I'll do my best. My name is Terry and I'm out in the hall. We already have our prayer. And Tom is starting to talk about prayer properly. By the way, I think that psalm is in the 40s. Is it 42, 43? Some Catholics pay attention to the numbers. I would like to have a reflection on my experience and the teaching to me about prayer from the time I got prayer as I learned as a kid is a communication with a higher power back and forth and so I'd like to divide this into what our higher power says to us and what we say back there was an interesting thing when the Catholics had the ecumenical council in the 60's there were a couple of sacraments that were done quickly or in rapid succession confession and the anointing of the sick one of the saints was off on an emergency he said go in there do it fast and the confessions, if you had 150 people you had to pare down the prayer part of it they say no, no if there's a holy moment always use scripture no matter how fast you gotta go you gotta read something say something that God says to us first then you say something back Because whenever you pray, know that you are not starting the conversation. You're picking up on a conversation. We are spoken to first. Okay, what is said? Well, this can be done in many ways. I just have a suggestion as a way to think about it, as away to reflect on what a higher power says to us. And I think the main thing that I sensed when I have sensed my higher power coming at me, and after sensing that, having a sense of wanting to talk back, having a lift, a nourishment, an enlightenment, an encouragement, a scary pulling my covers, all those things. It can be either image. And the image is that of a face, the face of a mature, developed person. now it's kind of hard to tell what that face is because you meet people with faces that are friendly but when you meet somebody who's a seasoned spiritual mature developed person sort of extraordinary you know somebody who's been through the wars someone who's already hit bottom they've gone to meetings for 20 years they've judged everybody and and then found out that the person they're judging at the next meeting says something true and touches their heart and brings them alive and they just learn and you learn that the Spirit of God is working somewhere in everybody and you better show a little open-mindedness and respect for the least likely people or you're going to miss most of the show. And they've been through that. And so they're kind of used to the fact that when you first see somebody, you don't see them. You first see them, so it is kind of their human being, you better be careful. Approach this. And they're kinda used to discovering the beauty of God in unlikely places and now they meet you and now the face will be a face of affirmation a face of kindness not a syrupy but a friendly face and of course when you have a friendly face, you're not knocked out of your saddle with that you see a lot of friendly faces you've got to kind of test the face Debbie at Denny's says welcome and what she wants is for you to behave yourself and pay the bill but when someone says welcome in that spirit and approaches you with this deep developed affirmation and respect for you, maybe you don't notice it the first time so much, but you kind of come around the second time and then the third time. Then you begin to notice this person is not working you. They're not seducing you. They're no longer trying to... They're a narcissist trying to get their daily dose of admiration. They're also trying to get you to pay. They're not a predator trying to get a sexual contact to dose their pain they're actually paying attention to you and then you begin to sense this alliance acceptance, respect and something in us kind of comes alive and then we notice and this is a big surprise especially if we don't if there's no obvious advantage to them to know us, we find out they actually take pleasure in you. They get a kick out of you. They're so mature that they tune in to God's gift to you and get a laugh or get a pleasure. They like you. And it's not like they're taking up your time. It's like you're taking their time. and they like the fact that they met you and spent a little time with you. That throws you for a while. And then we notice that their attitude towards your assets and your deficits are very different than your attitude towards your Assets and your Deficits. My habitual attitude towards my assets is I try to use them to cover up my deficits and try to get you to like me, you know? Anything... what's your SAT score? What are you driving today, you now? Smile, let me see if you cheat. We tend to flash our assets. And just flash them, kind of humbly let them notice that we graduated with honors, you know, whatever it is. And then maybe they'll like me more. Got a good tan. and you notice that this person as they get to know you they don't like you anymore not even one ounce more when they find out about your essence what they do is they feel good for you oh I'm good I'm happy for you it's like instead of being over you like this they're shoulder to shoulder there's something like a good parent, a mature parent has towards children when they get the star on their paper they don't say oh fine we got a gold star okay you can come in you're just delighted that the kid is flourishing and functioning and then when they find out about your defects the funny little defects of your skin and the fact that you're dyslexic I've gone bankrupt and you forget, you never send them a card and you know a lot of things wrong with you and their attitude towards you is to suffer with you. To say, oh yeah, that's tough. Let me tell you about me. And then when you get that stuff where they don't like you anymore because of your good stuff or like you any less because of the bad stuff that they're in this shoulder-to-shoulder alliance, we start coming alive. And especially as they do good at, because they're not mature unless they have a good Al-Anon program, and as they trust you to live your life, and they trust me, they just know that you're the kind of person with a center of responsibility and freedom and indignity of anyone else in the face of the earth, and that's the way they look at you. And when we look at that face something in us begins to grow. Something a lot inside of us comes to life that's not usually so alive. Because when we're living in fear we're not so aware of our freedom and our responsibility. Responsibility, when we live in fear responsibility means you've got to do that because you're responsible. I guess I better do that so they'll like me and let me in and that's not the spirit here and as we get accustomed to the face we realize that this face is not it's not so much that the face is doing anything for you, it's about bringing something to you and doing something new what the face does is reveal who you are and reveals who you've always been who you've been all along. You've been a child of God all along? You've be somebody with whom anybody with maturity would fall into a deep irrevocable alliance with if they just got to look at you. Any... So you... This face reveals who we have been and are and then something I I mentioned two days ago that when a person treats you that way, something in you knows after you kind of get used to it. It doesn't mean they finally found somebody really special in the sense that you're more special than other people. It doesn't mean that the only funny son is somebody really cute, bright. It's just you just know that you've just met a very healthy person. You've just meet someone who's developed and sane. A person like that goes around driving people sane. Because they are sane, then they pick up, they recognize the sanity in you. and of course we don't even get our feelings hurt when they start, we notice that they're really kind and aligned with other people you know, when you have that other that fear based preference being really nice to you usually they make the point I'm nice toyou because you're cuter than, you're better than all the stuff of comparisons is not of the spirit the spirit is one of identification more than comparing all the time. And when we get used to the interchange with such a face we don't mind when they treat other people well. They say, yeah they should. And you of course the next corollary is that's the way I'm called to treat people. And it's not so much a sentence okay now you gotta do that it's just very natural you know, oh this is the same way to do things have some tolerance even when the initial reaction of the human to another person is not terribly positive you know well well God here's another hidden treasure please be with me while we travel the road I know what's in there I know the treasure's in it I think that's what God has to say to us you know sin sin is acting contrary to love contrary to integrity when we sin when we cling to our egos self will run riot we either can't see the face or we avoid the face or we see a frown the face stays the same but my behavior and attitude affects my eyesight and I will not see the face as it is for real I won't just pass by somebody mature and like that too busy man on my way or I'll feel so guilty that I'm sure you're going to shame me and won't like me you're going to catch me, and we just can't. While we're in our stuff that's negative, it's just impossible to imagine true, committed, mature love. And I have a note down here, and if it gets bad enough, if we're deep enough in our drinking, If we get deep enough in pursuing some kind of a self-run riot way of finding security by stealing a lot of money, or by dominating people, then we become wild in our alienation. Now, that's just a way of thinking about the way we're addressed, what the word does. What do we say back? What we say back is the kind of prayer where we're kind of active in. We can be let me try to describe four kinds of prayer very briefly. About ten minutes. Informal prayer, active meditation, passive meditation and formal prayer. Informal prayer. God help me! That's the best prayer you'll ever pray and the worst, depending on where it's coming from. Spontaneous informal prayer. We're Americans. We love informality. I mean, most people are Americans here. Welcome to everybody else. But when I say, oh God please help me get to Nordstrom before the sails over this is trying to enlist the big fella in your plot to be successful and self-willed this is not a classy prayer when we say God help me from the depths of our despair in the moment of death and we don't even believe in God that's probably the best prayer and there's other all kinds of informal prayer the informal prayer that I find myself needing the most is to keep blessing other drivers I bless you I give you permission to exist they don't need my permission I need to give them permission active meditation get your meditation book out get your cup of coffee and get your ODAT some other thing and use a little bit of meditation stuff and what meditation stuff is if it's good if it is a good one it's a description of a spiritual awakening It's the author's experience of having been touched by God. And if you read that, and it rings your bell, if you can identify with what's down there and say, yeah, that reminds me, you're in business for a medication. It kind of brings us to a place where we identify with someone else's spiritual awakening and sit with that and kind of ruminate and let it knock around inside of us. That's a very healthy thing to do, to remind us of the faith. Then we have, I'd say, let's say a quieter meditation type of thing where they call it centering prayer in my experience. There's a lot of versions of it. But it's sitting and thinking of, I've been doing this now for a while and I'm not as regular with such rigor as I want to be but I'm moving in that direction I'm having 20 minute periods where you just sit and and be stupid before God don't say anything you're off the hook you do not have to think up any spiritual thought or say anything to God just shut up and invite God's presence and action within you and be stupend for 20 minutes. Be quiet, it drives you nuts. But you've got to have faith to do that because what's the point of having no faith? Invite God's presence and action in. There's moments of great peace and there's it's good to have a mantra to have something to say that kind of gently draws you back because there's no stopping the parade of associations and images and fantasies and yearnings that parade through your head. That just goes on. And you don't have to fight this. Never fight a distraction. Always usher it along. Thank you for sharing. If it comes in this side, you let it go out the other side. And gently say your little mantra. I'm a priest, so my mantra's in Latin. I'd say Fiat it's not an Italian car it's what Mary said when the angel said what was up for her she said let it be done I will be done according to your word and what's especially good about that kind of prayer if you get it in your life is you know whenever we pray whenever we get our own heads going we're pretty far off we're pretty far out we've got our own little thoughts and it's great to be willing to be dumb because we're really dumb now formal prayer is the prayers of our grandmothers and grandfathers certain prayers have won a place in the spiritual culture in religions and we have a few here. Our serenity prayer and the large prayer, the main ones that have kind of won a place. The large prayer may pass through because people are associating it so much with Christianity and Jewish prayer in a way. I don't think anyone argues with its content, but I think they argue about its associations historically. Anyway, there's a lot of prayers that are formal. The prayer of St. Francis some people call it the 11th step prayer in chapters 12 and 12 but what a formal prayer does is it gets us to put in our own mouths in our old head a well-worn prayer that really rings a bell for a lot of people and even if the prayer doesn't ring your bell to begin with to kind of come back to it a lot tends to draw us towards a place of spiritually healthy and we finally can say the words of the prayer finally become our own in a free and heartfelt way let me just run through the Lord's Prayer in a little commentary and you know the Lord'S Prayer is supposed to encompass everything you're ever going to say in prayer and it was pretty short you can get it done and it's supposed to be the whole thing so our father who art in heaven hallowed be thy name thy kingdom come thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven we now have four repetitions that have taken up half the prayer this apparently is a major point half the prayer that includes everything is for repetition it is saying higher power the spirit of life the spirit of integrity and honesty the spirit of love please let me be lined up with you Whoa! I need to be in tune. Please drag me, whatever you got to do. Tune me in with all the distractions and the fear and the wildness and the commercial, the consumer society and the visions of glory that you can find in a Lexus and fine leather and good perfume and underwear that's the right kind. Please draw me, draw me to your spirit. Yeah, just... That seems to be the main point. Let me see your face. Let me say that face, not another face. There's lots of faces, lots of spirits. Please, please, please wake me up. That's a lot of what we have to say back. Give us this day our daily bread there's an expansion of this in Jewish scriptures that says don't give me so much that I say who is God or so little that I steal please keep me in the middle okay it's a good thing to ask and then forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us this is the least likely sentence for anyone ever to make up on their own in the history of the human race. Say, okay God, here's the deal. I need your forgiveness and I have a bad record. Please cut me some slack. I need kindness. I don't need strict justice here. I need encouragement, kindness and healing. But don't give me any more than I give other people, okay? Would you think that went up on your own? I would not think of it on my own. And it's not so much that God wants you to go the high road and do the... No, it's just that, hey, there's only one opening in your heart and love and healing is going in and out. It's going both ways or no way. You cannot receive any more mercy or favor or love than you're given out. It either goes in and it's going to come right out to other people, or it's just not going. It's not happening. Lead us not into temptation. Some of you say, does God want you to be tempted? No, but we do. I like the dance on the edge of the cliff. I don't want to commit adultery today, but I see a dirty picture. Anyway, that'll... and deliver us from evil. Amen. Thank you very much.