Step 10 and the 10-Step Buddies Who Keep Him Honest – Gary B.

About This Speaker Tape

A four-and-a-half million dollar lawsuit is a hell of a way to learn the difference between harm and hurt feelings. Gary B. recalls the wreckage of a business partnership that ended in a courtroom and the ego-trap of believing he owed an amend to a man who sued him.

He speaks with a blunt, seasoned voice about the danger of "contemporary investigation"—the tendency to overthink the steps instead of just doing them. For Gary, the Tenth Step isn't a formality; it's about "balancing the books" and avoiding the "window dressing" of a curated persona. He describes the gritty reality of sponsorship, from arguing with "fighters" on the interstate to sitting with a dying friend who spends ten hours a day on the phone working the steps from a wheelchair.

From a triple bypass to the football field, Gary argues that the only way to avoid "unfinished business" is to drop the defenses and let someone see you as you are.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Discussion on the difference between harm and hurt feelings using a business partner's lawsuit.
• 2:45 Advice on avoiding the 'Genghis Khan' complex when making amends.
• 4:10 Laughter: Story about the first wife and the 'hour and a half' of grievances.
• 7:30 Reflections on parenting and breaking the cycle of verbal abuse from his own childhood.
• 10:15 Guidance on making amends to those who have passed away, including writing letters.
• 14:20 The 'thallium treadmill' and the discovery of blocked arteries leading to a triple bypass.
• 18:40 Deep dive into Step 10: The role of 10-step buddies and immediate inventory.
• 22:10 Story of Jim, a fighter sponsee who screamed at a Higher Power on I-465.
• 26:30 The reality of sponsoring someone through a terminal disease (multiple systems atrophy).
• 30:15 The spiritual benefit of dropping defenses and allowing others to see the real you.
• 33:40 Sharing inventory with newcomers during a lunch to demystify the process.