Step 10 and Daily Inventory – Sober for Keeps Workshop – Part 4 of 4

Okay, folks. Cool. thank you very much I'm amazed that you're all still here it's been a beautiful day outside thank you for being here because like a beautiful Day outside seriously most of the people I know have had a beautiful daylight this wouldn't even be here let me listen and this is that guy go on and on and on this brings us step 10 which suggests we continue to take personal inventory step 4 and and continue to set right any new mistakes as we go along. We vigorously commence this way of living, and this is a way of leaving now, as we clean up the past. And this is at once when we have started to make our amends, we jump into step 10. At once. We start this as we make our Amends. So we've got our Amend list, we go and knock on doors while we're locking knocking on doors we're doing this this is where it collapses in on itself they're not in you do one and then finish and then you do the next one from the time we start step four we get to step five it sort of collapses in onto itself we do step 10 when we do sorry do step eight when we duestep four we go do step five we do six and seven we do we've got our eight step list it just skims over it we've done that we go out and do go out and do our amends, we start our amends the very next day after doing our fifth step if not the same day and while we're doing that we're doing this because this is the way of life this is what we've been leading up to this is how we're going to do it this is why we do for the rest of our lives but we know how to do step four now, we can do step four on a napkin in a restaurant we can deal with it on the back of our hand if necessary hmm we have entered the world of the spirit what does that mean i have now had had the spiritual awakening uh conscious contact with this power that has come into my life and our next function is to grow in understanding and effectiveness this is not the maintenance step it's a growth step i have to continue to grow and i have to all through the day now when i'm walking out in life again i have to learn how to live by using these tools and i has to start watching for selfishness self-centeredness resentment and fear all through the day step 10 is all through the day from when i go wake up in the morning and i go out the door i have to use these tools to grow this is not an overnight matter it says it should continue for our lifetime for our life time this is the new way of life there's no destination in alcoholics it's a process it's a way of life now the destination if anything is when we leave this when we leave this life with alcoholism not of alcoholism or from alcoholism that I my ambition if you like is to die of something else even though I've still got it I want to die of something else I don't want to buy an alcoholic there I will die an alcoholic but I don' t want to die an alcoholic that's when you're a winner that's when you get that's when you beat the game but it's this way of life and we have entered the world of the spirit we've kicked open the door we've removed what is blocking us from the power we are now in contact with the power what we need to do is not only a grow in effectiveness, we need to keep the door open. So what we're doing here is we're watching for the very things that we saw in step four. That's why they say call it how it works. This is how it looks. Once we know how to do inventory, this is how It works. And it says when, not if, these things show up. And the other thing about this growing and understanding effectiveness, this is a little bit like I've got a racing bicycle and my feet click into the pedals and if I stop pedaling, the bike slows down and stops. If I can't get my foot out of the pedal and put it down, I fall over. And this program is a little bit like this. We have to continue to grow in effectiveness otherwise if we stop, we'll fall over so we've got to keep pedaling and it should continue for life. Yeah. Okay. And if I have done these steps fast, like in 30 days or something, and now I'm going out in life. I am very fresh. I just had a conscious contact with this power. I've done these actions and I'm out in Life again. And I remember how this was. I didn't know how to live. This is how I learned how to Live this new way of Life. To watch for the things that took me back to page 52 and, you know, to be selfish and self-centered again. To remove it at once during the day. And they give us precise instructions how I'm going to do this. Continue to watch for selfishness, dishonesty, resentment, and fear. First direction. when these crop up and that means they will crop up they will I ask God at once to remove them whenever I feel fear whenever I feel a resentment I ask god at once to remove it because I don't want it because I know what it leads to I ask god at once to remove it I don' t have to analyze it I just recognize it, I ask God to remove it. And if I can't remove it at once, if I'm thinking about it more than five minutes, I discuss them with someone immediately. And I make amends quickly if I've harmed anyone. Because, you know, I can just... Something pops out of my mouth. I say something stupid to someone. and I have to make amends quickly I do, I say I'm sorry I said like that you know at once, I clean up at once and this is spiritual tools that I use all through the day this is the new way of life and if I do this every day I will grow every day and it will get easier and easier and after a while it will be my mind will change and it won't in the beginning it's practice, practice practice but it will later be normal function of my mind I won't have to do it every second like I had in the begining it becomes a habit Yes. Then I resolutely turn my thoughts to someone I can help. Resolutely. And I usually say like this, watch for it. Ask God to remove it. turn your thoughts, turn your thoughts to someone you can help watch, ask, turn watch, Ask, Turn when these things crop up and I can be at work and I just turn to someone I can help you know or I can phone someone that I haven't talked to for a while just to turn I have to turn get away from my head And it doesn't necessarily mean another alcoholic It's anybody Yeah, that's what I mean It doesn't have to be another alcoholic Wherever we are This is a spiritual practice And it's a practice That we can continue for our lifetime And it becomes a habit After a while It's difficult It can be difficult in the beginning Because we've really got to concentrate on it But after a while it becomes automatic Yes, automatically love and tolerance of others is our code it says it's a principle that we live by and here comes the 10-step promises which are just amazing promises amazing and we have ceased fighting anything or anyone even alcohol for by this time sanity will have returned the sanity that i asked for in step two have now returned it's taken us from step three through to step 10 to get back to the sanitythat we were asking for instep 2 it doesn't happen in step two it happens in step ten you've got to do it all we will seldom be interested in liquor if tempted we recoil from it as from a hot flame because now I can see the truth about alcohol I know that alcohol is a poison for me and I don't even think of it. I have other things to think about. We react sanely and normally, and we will find that this has happened automatically. We will see that our new attitude toward liquor has been given us without any thought or effort on our part. It just comes. That is the miracle of it we are not fighting it neither are we avoiding temptation so all this about triggers no i can go anywhere today where alcohol is served i can be with friends who are drinking my daughter is not an alcoholic she drinks wine and i can i'm in the middle of it and i never even consider it, you know alcohol is not a problem, it doesn't exist for me anymore we feel as though we had been placed in a position of neutrality, safe and protected we have not even sworn off instead the problem has been removed it does not exist for us We're recovered. We are recovered alcoholics now. We are neither cocky, nor are we afraid. That is our experience. That's their experience and that is my experience. That is how we react so long as we keep in fit spiritual condition. And here is a condition again. As long as we keep in fit spiritual condition and I do the things required from me. Now it's my responsibility, now it's the prodigy's responsibility. If we've taken somebody through the steps, it's now their responsibility to live this life now. I can't do anything more. They know how to do inventory. If you look at the watch-ass turn on step 10, if we continue to watch for selfishness, dishonesty, resentment and fear, that's step 4 and step 10. When these things crop up, we ask God at once to remove them, step 3, step 7. We discuss them with someone immediately and make amends quickly if we have harmed anyone, step 5, step 8 and 9. Then we resolutely turn our thoughts to someone who can help, step 12. You see, in step 10 we're practising these principles in all our affairs. The whole thing is there, daily. But it's easy, it says, to land up on spiritual programme action and rest on our laurels. Somebody once said that the Greeks, you know, if you rested on your laurels in Greece you were wearing them in the wrong place. You're supposed to be wearing your laurel around your head not your backside. They said we're headed for trouble as we do, alcohol is a subtle foe, we are not cured of alcoholism. You see, I call myself a recovered alcoholic. People here are cured. I'm not. I'm still an alcoholic. I have a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of my spiritual condition every day is a day. We must carry the vision. Sounds like a meditation to me. You see turning my thoughts to someone I can help might necessarily there might not be somebody there to help immediately. So I turn my thoughts to someone I can help. Meditation. I've asked God to remove them. I turn my thoughts. So we have this vision of what God's will is for me in all of our activities. And do you think they mean all of my activities? If I can't take God into any of my activity, should I be doing that activity? Can I ask myself that question? Is there anything that I do that I wouldn't have God with me when I do it? Then maybe I shouldn't be doing it. And then this is the vision. How can I best serve thee thy will not mine be done? again constantly it says these thoughts must go with us constantly we can exercise our willpower upon this line all we wish it is the proper use of the will, we can use our will now because we're asking for guidance, we'll see now as we go through this into step 11 that this step 10 is what we do through the day we're watching we're looking, we're turning through the day we're saying thy will be done thy will not go in my way thy will be done not go my way anymore, thy will be done, happens a lot with me, stuff doesn't go my way an awful lot but those ten step promises are absolutely stunning so I've got my sanity back and my will back but it's a new will I try to live by God's will, aligned with God's will all the time, all the time. Thy will be done, not mine. I'm not running the show. Watch, ask, turn. Watch, ask, turn. God's will is going that way. I'm going this way. I start to go that way. I've got to turn and align my will back with God. I constantly go line my back. I constantly do this. Constantly. I'm off over here somewhere. This is what I want, what God wants is over here. These are thoughts which must go with us constantly. We can exercise our willpower along this line all we wish. It's the proper use of the will. Much has already been said about receiving strength, inspiration and direction from him who has all knowledge and power. If we have carefully followed directions, here's the word directions again. It's not suggestions anymore. Bill got his way. We have begun to sense the flow of His Spirit into us. To some extent, we have become God-conscious. We have began to develop this vital sixth sense. Vital meaning life-giving. But we must go further and that means more action. Step 11 suggests prayer and meditation. We shouldn't be shy on this matter of prayer, better men than we are using it constantly. It works if we have the proper attitude and work at it. it would be easy to be vague about this matter yet we believe we can make some definite and valuable suggestions okay we have two suggestions on this page we have two practices on this page this page is when we retire at night which originally used to be when we wake up in the morning on the original manuscript but I'm really pleased they do it at night I actually quite like the idea I finish my day with a review we've been watching throughout the day where we're being selfish, self-centered, dishonest and afraid. What's the first thing it asks us to do when we retire at night? We constructively review our day. I know this says constructively and then it says where were we resentful selfish, dishonest or afraid? Sounds like step four to me again yet again it's step four where was I? so I get a second chance to do step 10 in my step 11 review if I've missed anything during the day I get the second chance of it so I don't go to sleep with holding a resentment that's why I like it at night and it says when we retire at night doesn't mean to say you got to do this last thing at night you can do it when you come home from work while you're still fairly fresh you can before supper or whatever before you switch TV on TV is a killer for this, seriously it is. Do I own apology? And I answer these questions. If I don't, I've got a particular form that we laminated, we got it by the bed, I made these questions into a form, constructively review my day, who have I helped today, what have I achieved today, etc. And then I ask these questions and it's a list of questions. If I don't, I go to page 86 in the big book and I just answer these questions. Here it is. Just answer the question. Do I owe an apology? Yes or no? If so, write down who it is I owe the apology to. Do it first thing in the morning. Have I kept something to myself I should have discussed with someone at once or another person at once? That sounds like step 10 again. watch us turn were we kind and loving towards all the principle by which we're supposed to live what could I have done better were I thinking of myself all the time or was I thinking about what I could do for others was I thinking about what i could pack into the stream of life doesn't mean so i got to be busy busy busy busy all the times what it means is what am i giving back what am I giving back into life what amI putting back into like because I was always a taker I need to be putting back into life now but we must be careful not to drift into worry, remorse or morbid reflection for that would diminish our usefulness to others after making our review we ask God's forgiveness and inquire what corrective measures should be taken so we ask again please God forgive me for my failings today because of my failINGS I wasn't able to be as effective as I could have been for you please remove my arrogance and my fear and please show me tomorrow how to put these things right kind of thing you make up your own prayer if you wish we kind of have one of the great things the things I tell you what's the rightness now if you're in a relationship with someone that's doing a 12 step program do nightly review together it's wonderful you can do it about the relationship and then you can do it yourself do together it's wonderful do this next bit together too on awakening let us think about the 24 hours ahead we consider our plans for the day I think about what I'm going to do today you know, oh well I'm going to work, I'm going shopping, whatever I'm doing, whatever I'm going to do. I'm going to a meeting tonight. I have sort of a plan. I consider my plans for the day. But before I begin, at once in the morning when I wake up, because it's not alcohol waiting for me, it's self waiting for me when I wake up. It's all about me. You know, the first my thinking has been the same for so many years that when i wake up if if i have to cut my thinking because otherwise it's all about me how am i today what am i going to do oh i have to do that and i have To go out and smoke and I have to do this and I have to Do that and it's All about me and I Have to cut that Directly in the morning How am I today? How do I feel today? You know, it's all about me. So I have to cut it directly in the morning. So the first thing I do when my eyes go open, I ask God to direct my thinking. Please, God, direct my thinkings today. Especially asking for being divorced from self-pity, dishonest or self-seeking motives. please direct my thinking today first waking breath seriously, first waking breath, please God direct my thinkings, especially that it be divorce from self-pity, dishonest and self-seeking motives it gets to be a habit first waking breathe if I go to the bathroom first go and have a cup of coffee or whatever it is first then I'm running the show so this is good this is wonderful good under these conditions we can employ our mental faculties with assurance for after all god gave us brains to use so i get my brain back as well nice our thought life will be placed on a much higher plane when our thinking is cleared of wrong motives. In thinking about our day, we may face indecision. I don't know what to do. I get confused. What to do? I get maybe confused. I do not know what to do, you know. I may not be able to determine which course to take. Here we ask God for inspiration. Please, God, give me an inspiration an intuitive thought or a decision and i relax and take it easy and i remember this in the beginning when i was just newly sober new sober and my brain was just running i had a million monkeys chattering in my head and i got this despair feelings i don't know what to do in my you know how it feels and i just you know i really could turn relax and take it easy i sat down please god help me all is well guide me direct me show me what my next step is to be just take it easily and relax and it worked for a crazy alcoholic like me with a thousand monkeys in my head you know and it worked every time every time i could turn turn turn and that's what i did and it's so beautiful to see that this really works you know if i do it i have to do it this is the the thing with all this you have to do it. If you don't do it nothing happens. The thousand monkeys in your head will be a million monkeys. You know that's how I'm wired I have to do this, I have to do this The other thing to remember is when this book was written there were some people in New York who understood what Eastern meditation was but the meditation they are talking about here is reflection upon a subject and so the subject is my day. We are meditating about my day. What's my plan for today? Please God, show me what order I'm supposed to do this in, if I'm confused. And I ask and then I relax and take it easy and listen. The right answer will come if my house is surprised how the right answers come. I sometimes write down the answers, in case I forget. It's got to be short memory. It's going to be a short memory it says that sometimes here this occasional inspiration gradually becomes a working part of the mind, don't expect it to happen tomorrow, practice practice, practice it says here we are often surprised how the right answers come after we have tried this for a while it means I have to practice it I have to do it what used to be a hunch or the occasional inspiration gradually becomes a working part of the mind. Being still inexperienced and having just made conscious contact with God, because I work these steps fast, maybe in, hopefully in 30 days, you know? I'm just new. Just made conscious contract with God. It's not probable that we are going to be inspired at all times. We might pay for this presumption in all sorts of absurd actions and ideas. Nevertheless, we find that our thinking will, as time passes, be more and more on the plane of inspiration. And we come to rely upon it. The thing about don't be frightened of absurd Absurd sorts of actions and ideas. Don't be frighten to those. They will probably come that's why you got a sponsor Run and buy him first or her first I used to get really, really good ideas in the early days and I ran it by my sponsor and they said Maybe you want to look at that again That's okay, so don't do this on your own check with people The Oxford group had something that Bill didn't like. He called the four absolutes. He didn't include them in our program. That's why we got sponsors, because the Oxford group had a way of checking their thinking. Bill didn'T like it, so we haven't got it. You can do some research on it. Call the four absolutes. It's a good way of checkIng your thinking. However, if you get a really, really good idea, phone your sponsor. I still do. I get a realIy, reaIIy good, amazing idea. I'm going to phone my sponsor first see whether it checks out. And then it says we conclude the period of meditation with a prayer that we'd be shown throughout this day what my next step is to be and please grace me Father whatever I need to take care of the problems of life today. Ask especially Lord if you free me from the bondage of self-will. We're careful and make no requests for ourselves however we can if others would be helped. So again I'm not demanding from God, I'm Not telling God what I want God to do anymore which is what I used to do. Many of us have wasted a lot of time doing that, it doesn't work, we can easily see why. And at the bottom there's another little piece that we can add on to our daily practice of step 10. As we go through the day we pause. This is the hardest thing I do. This is so hard to do We pause when agitated or doubtful. We ask for the right thought of action. We constantly remind ourselves we are no longer running the show. humbly ask, saying to ourselves many times each day, thy will be done. Not going my way, thy way be done not going my way thy way will be done. The pausing is the hardest thing I do. Somebody once said, told me that try taking three conscious breaths you get agitated or excited take three conscious breaths. Breathe in, breathe out breathe in, breath out, breathe in breathe out, then ask God That's the hardest thing I do I'm a reactor I get agitated and doubtful then I pause after I've reacted but it does say that we are on the very page 88 it says it works, it really does and I can guarantee you that's what it does it works it really does and it says we alcoholics are undisciplined so we let God discipline us in a simple way just outlined watch us turn nightly review daily quiet time quiet time in the morning ask to be shown throughout the day consider your plans for the day ask God to come with you into the day don't do any of this alone we're not doing any of this alone anymore we're taking God with us constantly constantly it's this intimate relationship with this power that the steps take us to and it grows and it grows and it grows and the quickest way it can grow is by doing step 12. Step 12 is if we look at step 12 in the steps on page 60 and it's really interesting that cosmically again the first 11 steps are on page 59 and then page 60 is a separate step and it's by itself and it's right at the top of the page and it says having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps, the first eleven steps produce a spiritual awakening sufficient to recover from alcoholism. I've had a spiritual awaking by working the first eleven steps. It says the result, this is the AA message. What is the AA message? The AA message is that having had a spiritual awakening as a result of the steps. The steps produce, that's what we are built upon. The Fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous is built upon what is in this book, which is the 11 steps that bring about a spiritual awakening. The 12th step says that having had that spiritual awakening, we try to carry this message to other alcoholics. This message, that if you work the first 11 steps of the program of Alcoholics Anonymous, you will have a spiritual enlightenment sufficient to overcome alcoholism. That is the AA message. There is no other. We don't have another message. It's all we got. But by golly, what a message! You see, what I've learned about these steps is, these 12 steps are the steps that many, many philosophical and religious practices, the mystics of those do to reach God. They take a lifetime doing what we do in 12 steps that take them to this intimate relationship with God. And here we are, a bunch of drunks that somewhere way back in 1930, 35 or whatever, somebody came across six things that he made into 12 after prayer and meditation that give us bite-sized pieces that take us knee-walking, tongue-chewing drunks from a place where we can't even find our ass with both hands to a place where we've got a conscious contact with the power that runs the universe and we are asking that power to help us on a daily basis and we have an intimate relationship with that power ain't that amazing and I believe that if anybody wanted that that anybody, not just alcoholics anybody that would want to have that intimate relationship can follow our steps But our lives depend upon this. We don't do this as casual as a hobby. Our lives depend on this. We don'T get to a place where we're up on top of a mountain, you know, and that we're this big spiritual, we've become spiritual giants. No, no, no. This gets us to a point where we can go out and mix it with the ordinary people, the flatlanders out there without alcohol. That's where it takes us. It doesn't take us to anywhere special. however if we continue and continue to practice to practice to practice we grow and we grow in effectiveness and we go in we grow in this relationship with this power it's an amazing thing it's just stunning we just accept them as being the 12 steps on the wall but these things are just so amazing and amazingly they've been written down for us just in time for me. So we tried to carry this message to our colleagues it says we tried it doesn't say whether we're successful or not we try it's the action of getting up and trying practice these principles in all our affairs well we looked at that step 10 and 11 practicing these principles in all of our affairs chapter 7 So, chapter 7 is, again, precise directions on how to do a 12-step call. The first half of that, up until page 96. Page 89 to 96 tells you, first of all, where to find alcoholics. It gives you all sorts of ideas about where to find alcoholics. It then tells you how to talk to the alcoholic, it tells you what to tell him and it tells you what not to tell them and it tell you when to leave and when to shut up and it tells you a little bit of history about what happened with Bill and about when not to go talk to somebody and on page 96 to the end of that it talks about sponsorship where it says suppose you are now taking your making your second visit to the alcohol to a man or woman and that's from then onwards it's about sponsorship and they're going to give you some ideas about how to work with someone now how you grow and how you walk shoulder to shoulder. Let's have a look at some of the things we say because it's really interesting. Practical experience shows that nothing will so much ensure immunity from drinking as intensive work with other alcoholics. It works when other activities fail. This is our twelfth suggestion. Carry this message to other alcoholic! They're yelling it. They're saying it out loud. Carry this method. what message do the 11 steps you get in contact with God you're now working for God you're his agent you can help when no one else can nobody talks to an alcoholic like another alcoholic nobody can talk to another alcoholic like an alcoholic you can secure their confidence when others fail remember they are very ill we're not anymore we're recovered now we're never ill we forget we've got an incredible short memory we can't remember what it was like and then it says life will take on new meaning to watch people recover to see them help others that's the amazing thing to see one of your one of you sitting in a corner but a newcomer with a big book it blows me away every time to watch loneliness vanish to see a fellowship grow up about you have a host of friends this is an experience you must not miss you must not miss this frequent contact with newcomers and each other is the bright spot of our lives then it tells us where to look for Alkies and one of the great things in places to look for Alki's is in places like this a lot of Alki come to churches a lot Alki talk to priests, rabbis and ministers they know where they are doctors hospitals all that stuff They're not hard to find. Alkies are really easy to find, just takes a little bit of effort. But you see, one of the things is, one of things about the spiritual path, and all spiritual paths say this, that when you've been up the mountain, you've got to return. When you've being up the Mountain, you can't stay up the Mountian, you've gotta come back down the mountain back into life and take back what you've go, and give back what your go. Nobody stays up the mountian, If they stay up the mountain, then they'll live in the spiritual life. They come back down the mountain with what they found on the mountain and they start to give it back. And in fact, it's almost impossible not to. However, alcoholics have such a big ego that we can shut that out and go, no, no, it is all mine. The directions start really on page 91. And if you want a short version of this, look at what I did with Fred in More About Alcoholism. Look at Fred's story, the way they 12-step Fred. See your man alone if possible. First engage in general conversation. After a while, turn the talk to some phase of drinking. Do you think those are directions? There's a script here. You don't have to know how to do 12-stepped work. Follow the script. It's very simple. And then it says tell him enough about your drinking habits, symptoms and experiences to encourage him to drink, to speak of himself. We're not telling them about the solution. We don't tell them about the solution until we've done what the big book does. The big book spends 52 pages giving us a killer case of alcoholism until we're ready, say yes, yes I get it, I can't, I am hopeless I am helpless I need some kind of power in my life then they tell us how to get well. And that's exactly how they do 12 step in here. In Fred's, Fred said oh no, no, No, no, I know myself now. That's okay. They said, okay, fine, fine. Terrific. All right, we're out of here. They told him what they knew about alcoholism but they didn't tell him about the solution. They said okay, fine, well if you ever have a problem again give us our number. We'll come. Give us a call. He ended up in hospital a year later. The doctor phoned up Bill and he said that guy Fred's back and they went to see him and they said okay Fred, what about it now? How's it working for you? your self-knowledge and he said it didn't work but not only did they say it didn�t work and they said okay fine now you�re ready for the solution no, no, �no� they then heaped upon him evidence from their own experience about how his state of mind worked in them and how he was really hopeless so even though he said no, No, I get it I get guys no, I�m going to end up back in hospital I know I�m a hopeless drunk they continued to tell him how hopeless he was until he went to the stage where �okay guys okay I really get it I really get it. Okay, what do you do? And then they told him what they did. But until he said, what did you do, they didn't. Okay? It's important that. I think that is important. And we want to know how you drank. I want to knows how you drink. When I'm talking to you, I want know how your drank. I'm encouraging you to talk about your drinking. it says if he wishes to talk let him do so thus you would get a better idea how to proceed if he is not communicative give him a sketch of your drinking career up to the time you quit but say nothing for the moment on how that was accomplished sketch Bill does it in 8 pages in Bill's story Bill gives us a sketch and study that as an object lesson on how to tell your story. Bill's 12-step does in Bill's story, the first eight pages. He drank for about 15, 20 years. Dr. Bob drank for around 30 odd years. He does about the same amount of space in Dr. Bob's Nightmares, about eight pages, about his descent into hopeless alcoholism. They don't tell us very much about who they married, about what they did, about what kind of weather they had, where they lived, what kind OF car they drove, nothing like that. But what they do tell us is the stages of the descent where they hit the steps going down the steps, if you see that. You sometimes don't hit them every time you fall downstairs, you don't have every step. And they tell us about the descent. They tell us a bit that the stages, if you like, the important stages is when drinking becomes more than just blotting out, it becomes medicine. It becomes then, it becomes something that we... I'm treating myself with medicine, then I can't do without it at all. And then in the end, I'm in blackout after blackout after black out after black up and I don't know what the hell's going on and then I'm starting to take medicine as well with it and all this kind of stuff and I show up in sanitariums and hospitals and whatever. That's what we tell them but we don't tell them how we got well. Not yet. if he's in a serious mood dwell on the troubles liquor has caused you okay so we make his serious mood even more serious doesn't say we pat him on the back and said all will be well, no no no we take him deeper so he sees he's more hopeless being careful not to moralise or lecture, if his mood is light tell him humorous stories about your ex-parents get him to tell some of his do you see how precise that is so we don't need a script when he sees you know all about drinking commence to describe yourself as an alcoholic don't call him one I call myself one he will eventually say what I said which is well if you think like a duck, walk like a buck, drink like a duck you must be a duck I drank and I thought and things happened to me exactly the same as Billy he called himself an alcoholic so I had to say well I reckon I must be alcoholic because I'm just like you Billy then he told me about the struggles he made to start he took to stop because it says here give him an account of the struggles that you made to stop show him the mental twist that leads to the first drink of a spree we suggest you do this as we have done in chapter on alcoholism I drank when I was happy I drank and I was sad I drank but I was in a relationship I drank with I was out of a relationship I drank my night didn't have it when I didn't never job I drank man I had a job if he's an alcoholic he'll understand you at once he will match your mental inconsistencies with some of his own do you want to continue? no, you continue if you're satisfied he's a real alcoholic so I've got to make a decision whether you're alky or not by listening to what you're telling me not whether he's got to make a decission, I've gotta make a decisions if I'm satisfied a real alcolic tell him the solution, no dwell on the hopeless feature of the malady. If I'm a real alcoholic, I'm going to drink again and again and again. My mind will always take me back to another drink, always take my back to another drinking. It may be a week, it may be month, it may a year, it may five years, it may ten years if I'm an alcoholic synonymous and not working the steps. But I will go drink again. Big Mick took him 27 years until he picked up a drink. Show him how you experience of the queer mental condition surrounding the first drink prevents the normal functioning of the willpower. Page 24. Don't at this stage refer to this book unless you've seen it and wish to discuss it. Be careful not to brand him an alcoholic. Let him draw his own conclusion. If he sticks to the idea, he can still control his drinking. He possibly can if he is not too alcoholic. That's a joke. Okay? It's like being alcoholic. It's not being pregnant. You either is or you isn't. You can't be a little bit alcoholic. But insist if he's severely affected, there may be little chance that he can recover by himself. Nobody's patting the sky on the back and saying we love you till you can love yourself. We're pulling the carpet from underneath him. We want him to crash. We want them to understand the hopelessness. Continue to speak of alcoholism as a fatal malady. Talk about the conditions a mind, a body which accompanies, keep his attention focused mainly on your personal experience explain many are doomed who never realize their predicament it says earlier on it said that this condition has arrived years before it's realized and then it talks about doctors not being able to tell people that's because they don't have a solution I think that's changed a certain amount I think doctors are quite happy to tell people about stuff these days but when the book was written doctors didn't tell people about alcoholism because the cure for alcoholism was to lock you up for the rest of your life. For alcoholic insanity you never got out and you ended up having things like frontal lobotomies and convulsive electroconvulsive therapy to try and cure you of alcoholism but you very rarely got out if they locked you up. That's why doctors didn't want to tell you because it was a life sentence and then it says at the bottom it says even though you're a protege and they don't call them sponsees there's no such word, I've looked it up in the dictionary there's not such word as sponsee alright, it doesn't exist in the English language, it only exists inside Alcoholics Anonymous and it hasn't made it outside of Alcoholics they call them proteges, prospects Dr. Bob used to call them pigeons they said why do you call them pigeon Dr.Bob because they have the habit of flying away He said, if your protege is not entirely admitted, he has become very curious to know how you got well. Well, if you do the right job, let him ask that question if you will and then tell him exactly what happened to you, which is what Bill does after page 8. The bit that I said that you underline everywhere where you have resistance to. him exactly what happened to you, italics, neon. Stress the spiritual feature freely. As people say, don't talk about God on the first call. It tells you here you do. If the man be agnostic or atheist, make it emphatic that he does not have to agree with your conception of God. Billy said to me in the first called, he said that if you're going to hear about God, there's two things you need to know about God. There is one and ain't you. You can choose any conception you like provided it makes sense to him. So if I'm going into a 12-step call, I don't give him my God. Up to him. The main thing is that he'd be willing to believe. Just willingness. It's this idea. Step two. Are you willing to belief there's a power working in me which can work in you? And he lived by spiritual principles. Twelve steps. And then it says you better use everyday language in describing spiritual principles and the easy way of doing that is to do something like step one is a surrender. Step two is the hope. Step three is a decision to do the rest of the steps. Step four is a house cleaning out the attic to allow, give space for the power to come in. Step five is telling it to somebody else. Step six and seven is asking that power to be heard. Step eight and nine is about clearing up your mess. Step ten and eleven is making sure you don't make more mess. And step twelve is carry that message. There it is. everyday terms just like that nothing special just like that and that's exactly how Billy said told me just like that in about the same amount of time and I went oh that sounds great but then I saw him on the wall when I went to the first meeting it said made amends to all people I went oh all people we'd harmed and oh don't mind much but by the time I got there I was willing to do it you see we look at the steps I personally am not sure that we should have the steps on the wall to be honest what I'd like to see on the Wall is page 24 I would like that in big letters I'd love to see page 24 in big letters on the walls of every meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous that we are this idea that we cannot bring into our consciousness with sufficient force the suffering and humiliation and that's a good one And then they talk about, at the bottom of page 93, they talk About 12 Step in People of the Cloth. Priests, rabbis, ministers, they're not immune to alcoholism just because they believe in God and serve God the best they think they do. It seems to be particularly prevalent in the religion I was brought up in. There's a hell of a lot of alcoholic Catholic priests it seems to me. Not quite sure what that's about. I've come across quite a few. There's a lot in our colleagues anonymous. There has been over the years, there have been quite a few very vocal Catholic priests and our colleagues anonymous. But you see just because they're a priest doesn't mean they're immune from our power. It's not belief in God. They're still blocked off from the power just like we are by selfishness, self-centeredness dishonesty and fear. Isn't that interesting? Monks, nuns, priests, rabbis. So now we got him. And what we're doing is we're setting the hook. We're telling him about alcoholism. We're talking about how hopeless he is. And then he comes, oh, okay, so yeah, I'm hopeless. How do we do it? Gotcha. And now I tell him about, and he's desperate enough to do it. We do straight away. It says here on page 95, it says unless your friend wants to talk further about himself, do not wear out your welcome we let him talk give him a chance to think it over how about Bill Bill Dodson do you want to look at number 3 I got him here but I just you know step 12 is the essence of the program this is what it's all about having had a spiritual experience I try to carry this message to other alcoholics this is what i am supposed to do if i don't give away what i have got so freely i won't keep sober i won' t keep sober because when i to help others that's the juice in my life today to be able to give this away and it's crucial and i mean If I've had a spiritual awakening and I don't give it away, how selfish isn't that? This is not an option. You have to help other alcoholics or you won't keep sober and you won'T be happy. Because you will go back into yourself and your mind again. You know, I get out of my mind when I help another alcoholic. When I try and help another alcoholic through this program, I forget about myself. I get out of my mind. That's the juice in my life. And I can't live without that today. You know what? I have tried just to be like normal people, just work, laugh with the co-workers, talk about curtains, whatever. I can not do that. I have to have this. This is the juice, this is the essence of this program, the 12 steps. And even if I don't succeed, I have? try. I have ?? try and give this away. And I just want to read this from Bill's story first when Abby visited him. and my friend, Ebi, had emphasized the absolute necessity of demonstrating these principles in all my affairs. Particularly was it imperative to work with others as he had worked with me. Faith without work is dead, he said. And how appallingly true for the alcoholic. For if an alcoholic fails to perfect and enlarge his spiritual life, to keep in fit spiritual condition, I live in 10 and 11 and 12. I have to help others to keep them in fit spirit. In spiritual condition. That's just it. through work and self-sacrifice have i ever done any self-surprise before in my life i've been a taker all my life this is so new i can be of use to other people i was a busted up drunk and this is the juice of this program you know and i think this is so powerful work and self-sacrifice with others he could not survive he could not survive the certain trials and low spots ahead it means it's gonna come low spots ahead you know help helping someone else gets me out of that now life happens if he did not work he would surely drink again and if he drank he would surely die and then faith would be dead indeed with us it's just like that and with me is just like that i i know this i know why i'm here you know to try and carry this this message not my message this message these clear-cut directions how to come from point a busted up drunk to point be recovered alcoholic with the spiritual experience and I cannot keep that to myself selfishness self-centeredness that is the root of my problem I have to be useful to others and Heather and it gives me a meaningful life my life had no meaning earlier just to satisfy my my own what I wanted what I needed and this is so totally different that this is a theme going all through the book it's not an option you just have to try and give this away and I had an example ten minutes how Howard dr. Bob and bill did with the third member what is the page number three yes yeah we're looking for that yeah do I say Mike my alcoholic thinking is it once I've done 12 steps I live in a bed of roses they're gonna be beautiful sunsets every nothing bad is going to happen to me, don't work like that, no sorry this illusion you but if we're spiritually fit and if we have if we if we doing what we do what they've asked us to do the certain trials and low spots ahead we use to increase our contact with this power and we grow through that okay yeah Bill and Bob visited the third member on the hospital and he was really in bad shape and after a while bill said well now you've been talking a long good time let me talk a minute or two so after hearing some more of my story he turned around and said to doc well I and I don't think he knew I heard him This is Bob Dodson telling this story. I don't think he knew I heard him, but I did. And he said, well, I believe he's worth saving and working on. And they said to me, first question, do you want to quit drinking? It's none of our business about your drinking. We're not up here trying to take any of your rights or privileges away from you. but we have a program whereby we think we can stay sober part of that program is that we take it to someone else who needs it and wants it now if you don't want it we'll we're not going to take up your time and we'll be going and looking for someone else that's what they said to him And he was really sick. It sounds like take it or leave it to me. Take it or Leave it. The next thing they wanted to know, question two, was if I thought I could quit on my own accord without any help. If I could just walk out of the hospital and never take another drink. If I Could, that was wonderful. That was just fine. and they would very much appreciate a person who had that kind of power. But they were looking for a man who knew he had a problem and knew he could not handle it himself and needed outside help. The next thing they wanted to know, question three, was if I believed in a higher power. I had no trouble there because I had never actually ceased to believe in God and had tried lots of times to get help but hadn't succeeded. Next, they wanted to know, would I be willing to go to this higher power and ask for help calmly and without any reservations? That was question four. And they left me to think this over. They left. And I lay there on that hospital bed and went back over and reviewed my life. I thought of what liquor had done to me, the opportunities that I had discarded, the abilities that had been given me, and how I'd wasted them. And I finally came to the conclusion that if I didn't want to quit, I certainly ought to want to. And that I was willing to do anything in the world to stop drinking. I was willing to admit to myself that I had hit bottom, that I hadn't gotten hold of something that I didn't know how to handle myself. So after reviewing these things and realizing what liquor had cost me, I went to this power that to me was God without any reservation and admitted that I was completely powerless over alcohol and that I wasn't willing to do anything in the world to get rid of the problem. In fact, I admitted that from then on, I was willing to let God take over instead of me. And here he could see that his way hadn't worked at all. Each day, I would try to find out what his will was and try to follow that rather than trying to get him to always agree that the things I thought up for myself were the things best for me. So watch that 10. Yes. So they came back and I told them, and I think it was Doc. He said, well, do you want to quit? And I said, yes, Doc. I would like to quit at least for five, six or eight months until I get things straightened up and begin to get the respect of my wife and some other people back and get my finances fixed up and so on. And then they both laughed very heartedly and said, that's better than you've been doing, isn't it? Which of course was true. They said, well, we've got some bad news for you. It was bad news f�r us, and it will probably be bad news f�r you. Whether you quit six days, months or years, if you go out and take a drink or two, you'll end up in this hospital tied down just like you've been in these past six months. You are an alcoholic. They told him. As far as I know, that was the first time I'd ever paid any attention to that word. I figured I was just drunk. And they said, no, you have a disease and it doesn't make any difference how long you do without it. After a drink or two, you'll end up just like you are now. And that certainly was real disheartening news at the time. Well, that's just I think it's so good, you know, because this was Bill and Bob. when they were only two and they knew we have to go and work with an alcoholic to keep ourselves sober and they called the hospital and asked do you have a drunk there yeah we have a really bad one he's tied down at the moment you know and they went there and this was what they did the questions I think it's interesting and this is what we have to do this is what the program is all about that's why I'm alive today that's God's will for me that's where I am His agent to try and do His will and perform His work well otherwise selfishness self-centeredness that is the root of my problem I have to give it away to be able to keep it otherwise my sick mind comes back and that's how it works one quick thing if you read Fred and you read Bill Dodson alcoholic number 3 and you re-read working with others the first half of working with others you will see that they got up to the third step, they didn't do the third step on the first call they left him to think it over they gave him a killer case of alcoholism and then left think it over this is what we do, think it over, come back the next day, that's what Billy did Billy did exactly that, he came and told me give me a killer cause of alcoholismo he said we have some steps, if you're willing to start the steps, we can do step 3 I'll come back tomorrow and see you and see whether you're willy to do step 3, he come back the next day and he said are you willy do step 3, I've been thinking it over I hadn't taken a drink for 24 hours. That was the first time I hadn'T taken a drink for twenty four hours in a long time and actually if you read Bill Dodson's story you'll see that it said that you can quit for 24 hours can't you? You see in order to stop drinking you've got to stop drinking. Now that's interesting. Now that's where this 24 hours a day comes from, from Bill Dodson story but it's in the early beginning to stop drinking long enough so that you can start the work I can't stay stopped 24 hours at a time without the power I need the power but I need to stop drink it in order to stop drinking and I asked the power to stop me drinking for 24 hours and Billy came back the next day we did the third step we started on this program I got more and more power as we went along. That's what it's all about. I haven't taken a drink since. The only time that I've almost taken a drink, and I've been very close to taking a drink, was at 15 years sober when I had stopped doing what this book asked me to do. And I almost took a drink. Since then, I've tried to be very conscientious in doing what the book asked me because I don't want to go back there. I was 15 years over and suicidal. That's bad. It was bad enough when I was drinking, being suicidal. But being sober at 16 years and suicidal will tell you you don't want to go there. Okay, we're pretty much there. We've run on into that. It's so, so difficult to do this. You know, this is so, so difficult, the crammed us all in one way or another. We apologize if we missed anything. We rattle through it as best we can. So gracious for being here on such a beautiful day. We thank you from the bottom of our hearts. Today, you have ensured our sobriety for another 24 hours possibly or maybe a little longer. Who knows? But this has been a great pleasure and a great privilege and I guess if anybody's got any questions or comments comments or whatever, please fire away. Thanks for watching!