Step 1 – Stevie B. – Life Is Good Group – 2025

Hi everybody, my name is Stevie B. I'm a recovered alcoholic, member of the Golden Text Group in Hollywood, Florida. God bless you guys. Great to be here with you. I want to say that, you know, just in case it's your first time seeing me and you think that, like, who is this guy? Like, do I think any of this has to do with me? I am a guy that knows that none of this has to do with me. I'm a guy that is so excited to be here with you, like, I couldn't even, I was like Christmas last night, I couldn't even sleep thinking about being here with you. I couldn't even wait to get here to tell you what a disaster my life was. I couldn't wait to tell you. Some of the worst, and by the way, I want to say it now, but some of the worst, and by the way, I want to say it now, but some of the worst, and by the way, I want you to know I respect Alcoholics Anonymous and none of this is going to be about drugs, except some of it. And I do want to tell you that some of the worst drug addicts that I've ever met in the history of my entire life are in this room tonight. And that's that's a God's honest truth. So Alcoholics Anonymous is the answer. Alcoholics Anonymous and God is the answer to all of our problems in here. I know people in here that couldn't get sober no matter what. This is time of Christmas year. There's a there's a drug addict that was so serious of a drug addict in this room that during the Christmas play, everybody dressed up as the guards. There was guards, the Roman guards. You know anything about the play? And. And he was so high on crack during this show that when he was his line was Hark, who goes there? He was like, Hark, who goes there? He was like, like this. He was. That's how bad he was. It was a drug addict. And he's celebrating 11 years on the 19th. But God. You see, Alcoholics Anonymous is a but God situation. It's a but God story. And God. God knows your story and where you were going until he stepped in. Every year that I come here and I've been blessed to come here every one, one or two years. It's because that man, James, invited me here many, many years ago. He's the founder of this meeting. And if you remember last year and the year before, he couldn't be here in person. Last year, when I did the step series, James was online. Watching from prison. And the year before, watching from prison. And we came in together. We have the same amount of time. And I say that because he's the founder of this meeting. The only reason that I was here the first time is he invited me. And he lost his way. And any one of us on any given day, regardless of the amount of time that you're sober, can lose your way. If you become. Your way. If you let the things of Alcoholics Anonymous get in the way of Alcoholics Anonymous, you will lose your way. When the thing that needs to be number one, which is God. And number two, Alcoholics Anonymous. Right there, one and two. If they become three or four and other things become one or two, you lose your sobriety. Now, that doesn't necessarily mean you're drunk. That doesn't mean you get high. There's people in Alcoholics Anonymous that have lost their spiritual sobriety. But they're physically sober. When people Harvey has almost 50 years and I get to be with him almost on a daily basis. He's not just physically sober. He's spiritually sober and mentally. So I'm not perfect. Nobody is. But there's people that are physically sober in the program. And I don't want anything that they have. I can't even. I don't even want to be in a conversation because they're so dry. If I lit a match, they would go up in flames in here. And you can see them because they have a squinty face. Their face squints. They look like moles. And they're like, are you hanging in there? 44 years of continuous sobriety by the grace of God. And Alcoholics Anonymous. You keep that sobriety. I can't stay on that sobriety. If Alcoholics Anonymous is not enjoyable and fun. And encouraging and outrageous and all the things that this meeting is. I'm not coming. I'm going to go to a different meeting. I'm not leaving AA, but I'm going to go to. I'm going to find the meeting. But this is my tribe. Most people that come here today want something more than the typical. Let's talk about the car, the job, the girl or boy nonsense. They want something that's bigger and better. They want something that the big book of alcohol. It's not. I'm so. The fourth dimension of existence. And the people I hang around with and the places I go that all dictates that. And if you're here for the first time, and I know that there's people online. They're here for the first time. And there's people that are not even in recovery in recovery for drugs and alcohol. But I want you to know something. If you're not here, if you're here and you're not in recovery from drugs and alcohol. Everybody's recovering from something. We all have something that we're recovering from. It's just that in AA, we know what it is because of the debauchery that we caused in the wake of our using. On page 52 of the big book about college synonymous, since we're in the step one. It talks about some of the problems that we had when we were out there. And really could be even some of the problems when you're in here. If you're not working currently working the step, if you're not involved in the steps. And page 52. It talks about the problem. We're going to talk a lot about the problem tonight. So if there's war stories tonight, it's not going to be war stories for 12 weeks. Trust me. But in order for me to qualify. And if I say I was rolled up in a carpet or I peeped out of a window for three days straight with one eye. And I say that's from Scotch. That would seem silly, wouldn't it? That would seem silly. So, of course, I'm going to mention around about about drugs, but not. Not specifically. It's not a drug story, but it is my story. And part of the problem on page 52, it tells us that. We were having trouble with personal relationships. Now, these these things we call the bedevilments are going to be answered in the steps. We specifically see halfway through the ninth step that we'll get to during the step series that they get not only answered, but they get healed. And for a lot of us, because there's people that here are. There's new. There's newcomers in here. You're already seeing that some of these things are getting healed just by putting down the drink in the drug. You're already feeling better about you already have money in your pocket. You already know where you were the night before. These are some of the little tiny promises. The little tiny promises. If you drive, you know where the cars park. You don't wake up with not somebody go. Who are you? And that person doesn't wake up going, well, who are you? So those are little promises that happen. You'll have extra money. You'll have a piece even in the even. Listen, today I was I was I was in a stressful couple of minutes. And then I remembered the wet drunk that I was just dealing with a couple of days ago. And how it is to be drunk. How it is to be high. How it was for me when I had 18 months and I was in Minneapolis and I relapsed on drugs. And be hiding in a sober building, hiding behind a furnace in the basement. Because I felt that people were coming in. My roommate who was sober years, she comes in, she goes, you know, what do you do it? Because she was an alcoholic. She had never been around my drug of choice before. And I was hiding because I knew the police were coming in at any time. And she just came home from work. She's like, what are you doing? I'm like, you know, it's not the time to speak out loud. I'm behind a furnace. This is they're about to break the building. And when we remember how bad it was. And that's a story that I could just tell with with humor. That's a good story compared to where I went. I'm not I'm not even going to mention the suicide attempts. I'm not going to mention wanting to kill myself at the Fort Lauderdale Hospital. Wanted to throw myself out the window of the second story. I'm not going to mention having to show up at a detox in Minnesota in the middle of a winter. That was Native American detox and having to pretend I was a Native American that was mute. I'm not going to bring that up. Because they were horrible times. Not everyone shot at people from across the parking lot, but we all were in places that broke our own hearts. And we get sober and within a couple of weeks, some of us remember what we just did. And the feeling of low. Self-esteem and no self-esteem. And how could I have done it? And I did it again. It's so overwhelming. We don't think we'll ever get back. And I want you to look around the room because this is a get back room. Not only do we get back, we get a new life. We're reborn. The big book says we have a new life. People say I want to get back. I don't want my old life. My old life is what I used from. Not that there was anything terrible, but the feelings of self-pity and restlessness and irritability. I don't want that old life. I want a new life. Like walking in here today. High-fiving people hugging people. This is going to be a great time. We're going to talk about God. It's going to be amazing. That's the new life. And Alcoholics Anonymous promises that the first 164 pages of the big book specifically points all the way at God. And everything in the program points all the way at God. And if you're here tonight and said, well, I don't have a God conscious. Then guess what? Faith is a muscle that has to be worked out. And people say and I have a friend here from high school and she'll and if I had if she says we were not faithful people in high school. We weren't looking at you. I can't wait to talk about God, you know, 40 years from now. Everybody has a emotional challenge with faith. Nobody is born with any more faith than everybody else. And everybody is born. With enough faith for the rep to last a lifetime. But how we exercise that muscle is how we grow in our faith. Faith is an action word. Harvey doesn't have any more faith than the rest of us. He just worked at it longer. The person that knows about their faith is someone that's actively seeking their faith. Bob Davis is here tonight and he has an inner workings of the big book and how to do the steps. He doesn't he didn't grow up with that. He studied it. You practice it and faith is the same exact way. Faith is a muscle. The more you practice the easier it becomes and some days it's going to seem like God is a long-distance call. But you pick up the phone anyway. And here's the problem. Phase 52. We were having trouble with personal relationships. We couldn't control our emotional nature. We were prey to misery and depression. We couldn't make a living. We had the feeling of uselessness. Maybe this is so far away from you. You don't remember but try to put yourself back when you were in the first five years. Clawing back. Getting back. Saving for the car. Getting at back into a home. That's not with seven other people that you are not related to. Maybe getting the bicycle first. And getting the job. Then getting teeth. These are all part of the promise. And some of you have the whitest AA teeth ever so I know you didn't come in with that. But let's be honest. I got a friend from narcotics and I was he asked for teeth that aren't even of the color pattern of the of the world. He has ultra-white teeth. He has white, extra-galactic white teeth. We were unhappy. I was unhappy. We were unhappy. It didn't matter if I took a happy drug and I was up all night pretending I was happy. The moment that drug didn't work. I had to take more of that drug. I looked around. There are other people happy. I'm just jumping up and down pretending to be happy up and down up and down up and down up and down. If I was on one thing I wanted another if I was with Susie. I wanted to be over there. If I was at this party, I was wanting to know what you were doing. I never had any feeling of a lengthy joy. It was always a fleeting moment. Wow, that's an amazing hit. Now it sucks. This is an unbelievable party. This sucks. This is the best girl. You suck. Always left wanting. Never enough. The God-sized hole getting bigger with every drink. Rolling around in self-pity and bitter remorse and hating the person I become by looking in the mirror. Not even be able to resemble. Myself anymore and not knowing how to get out of it. This is the first step. Everyone has to complete that to be in the program. Does that mean you need to go to the bit that mean you need to go to the lowest floor? No, but you have to have a floor that's low enough for you. I've been to jail. You know, every time I say that, Jerry laughs because he's been to real jail. You know, big people's jail. You know, like overnight jail. But I've been to jail and that was tough enough for me. I don't ever want to do overnight jail. That was horrible. I was in short-term jail. And when I say that, he always laughs. But that was bad enough for me. Like being in jail almost overnight was bad for me. You get off on whatever floor you want. You don't have to go down to the basement on the elevator. Get off tonight. You may be here just kicking the tires and you didn't even you've never been to jail. You don't have to go to jail. You haven't even lost a job, but you don't have peace of mind. Full of fear. That's one of the big ones full of fear. I was afraid of everything. Afraid of being caught afraid of not having enough afraid of being alone. Like a million fears real or imagine. This is all on page 52. This is the beginning of the program that bedevilments. I honestly can say that I have so much less fear today. I think that's one of the big promises right there. That we will know a new freedom and a new happiness. I mean, we're not there tonight in the first step, but I want you to know it. Not only does it happen. It's it's a promise. Sometimes when we say the promises in the program and we just we just reiterate them. We don't understand that. These are these are promises. I can just go down each row. But God, but God. But God, but God. Happy Joyce and free lives. Not perfect. Not stress-free. We're going to lose people. People are going to die. People are going to disappoint you and you will get through it. And never alone again. In this room. I have maybe 40 people. I can call it anytime 40. It's not having a really difficult day. I'm in my head. Can you take a call? And they'll call me back. We couldn't seem to be of real help to other people. Was not a basic solution of these bedevilments. Just the word. You can see this is not of God. This is from the devil. The devil creates fear. The devil creates all this. This is from the devil. Now, we're not going to get religious. You don't like the word devil then called disease. But this is not God. God. God. None of this comes from God. It comes from the disease of alcoholism. I'm not at ease with myself. And I was never at ease. I was always feeling like they're like there was a school and everybody in the school got the instructions and I missed it. Everybody in my neighborhood had big brothers. On my block. It was a big brother. On my block. And when you walk to the playground with your big brothers, that's where you got your juice. You're backing. And I had a little chubby sister. Which gets you no juice. And I felt that if I had big brothers, everything would have been different. They teach you sports. They're your backup. People fear you. You. You. You. You. No one fears you with a sister. There was the Monday nurse, the Woolies, the models, the Wagamins. They all had big brothers, three of them. And I had my sister. And I felt that was part of the big problem. And there was a new coach that came to school. Now, I realize that if you've been in. In step series before with me, you know the story, but there's a lot of people that don't know the story. And this is my story. So I'm going to have to tell some of the same stories. Otherwise, I'm going to tell someone else's story. Which I can do. There was a new coach that came to school and he looked at the roster and he saw my last name, which was Boyarsky. And he says, Boyarsky. And I say, yes, coach. And I got a big. I went to a 500 person class. My class is 500. Our class is 500 people each grade. And he looks over my name. He goes Boyarsky. And I go, yes, coach. He says, does your brother play for the Pittsburgh Panthers? Is your brother Jerry Boyarsky? Now, I know I didn't have a brother. It should have been an easy answer. But part of my problem was that I didn't have one. And that was about that. I had to have someone that was famous. So I said, yes, I do. Yes, that's my brother. And everybody that knew me knew I did not have a brother that played for the Pittsburgh Panthers. They knew I had a stepbrother that was a plumber from Massachusetts. But I didn't care. I said, yes, I do. And I started to live out that story. I lived out that story so severely that I still have paper clippings. I still have the jerseys to this day of that guy. And I have his phone and his picture on my favorites. I tell you that story because if you feel like a nobody, lying can make you feel like a somebody. Until the drink. The moment I took my first drink of Manischewitz Jewish table wine. Morgan David, yeah. Morgan David. Yeah. Morgan David. Yeah. I didn't have to lie anymore. The moment I took my first drink. I was that person. The moment I took my second drink. I was everything that I ever wanted to be. The bedevilments were gone. I was right in my own skin. It was like instantaneously. Everything became clear. This is what I need. This is the magic elixir. That's going to be with me forever. I'm always going to take a drink. Whatever form and it didn't matter over the years. I never said this is a line from Paulie. May God rest his soul and but this is the truth. I never said no to a drink or drug unless I didn't understand the question. I never said no. Now at first if I'm sober in the moment and you say, yo Steve, would you like to try some of this stuff that we made from? Guy named? Julio at Home Depot in the bathtub. And it's comes in a jug and unmarked jug and it could kill you. But if not, it's going to get you very high. I would be like no, of course not with those ridiculous and then two drinks into it. I'm drinking Julio's gin. You know, I'm sorry right there in the moment. I don't care what the bottle says because two drinks in I'm a yes man. Three drinks in I'm a yes man or woman depending on the occasion. And I'm an and or guy. I'm a guy that wants more. Whatever it is. I never remember me ever saying in any situation that had to do with drinking. I'm good. I don't know if anybody's ever said that I'm good. Like I'm like I'm feeling it. I'm good. I've never made that statement. If there was more booze to be had. I wanted it because if one is good, I would imagine that six is probably going to be better. And so that brings us to the doctor's opinion where the doctor's opinion talks about that obsession and the compulsion and not being able to stop. And I realize there's a lot of movement in here. People are walking around in it. Maybe you don't really understand where most of us are at. It was pitiful and incomprehensible. I'm not going to use. The word demoralization. I'm going to use the word misery. We were at misery. We will I would have said yes to anything and I did say yes to everything. And I couldn't stop. And I'm so I figured if I tried stronger drugs and harder drugs and faster drugs and quicker drugs that the thing it would get done and momentarily it all worked for a second. For a second everything I've ever put into my body for a second. Seemed to work. And then the second second I realized this was not enough. It was the wrong concoction. It was the wrong place. It was the wrong person. It was the wrong time. It was the wrong apartment. It was the wrong bomb. Whatever it was. It was just wrong. So that started the spiral again to try to get right to try to get right to try to get right on the way to being dead. And I told that to my wife. I told her. I told her. It's not a lie about about Jerry boyarski. Who is not my brother, but when he got drafted into the NFL, it was a great day for my family. I do want to say big day for my family. And then from low self-esteem and I'm not gonna tell the story every single week about my eye. But it is an important part of my story because it did shape the way that I thought about myself and and different things. there was a kid in the neighborhood and he was the toughest kid in the neighborhood, the biggest kid, the toughest kid, to me, the coolest kid. And I always wanted him to hang out with me. And I never thought he would want to hang out with me. So I went to him and I said, why don't you, let's hang out. And he said, why? And I said, because I have guns and we can blow stuff up. And he came to my house and we did start blowing stuff up, you know, cans and different things like that. But then he got bored and he was going to leave. And I didn't want him to leave. And the moment I felt like he was going to leave, I came up with an ingenious game, which I thought at the moment, like right on the spot, I was like quick on the spot. I'm like, why don't we play you shoot at me? It was called the you shoot at me game. And, um, and he took me up on it and he shot at me and I lost and I, and I lost my eye that day. And it was like a major deal for me. It was a major deal for me because not only did I have low self-esteem, but I also had misplaced anger. I was out of school for a year. Of course I got on narcotics during that year because of all the different surgeries. That's not why I became an addict. I became an addict because there was something inside me from the very time I was born that was a little bit off. And the moment I had a substance, it gets right for that moment. It's called a God-sized hole. But I drank at that boy. And I want to tell you the, a really cool slender thread story. A couple of years ago, there was a young man that was in this meeting and he told his mom about me as a speaker. And he told his mom to come hear me as a speaker. And they're here tonight. And it turns out that his mom and I were in high schools at the same time, just not the same high school, but she knew the guy that shot me. Like very good friends with the guy's wife. And she came up to me afterwards. She goes, I know the guy that shot you. And I said, can you make it so that I can meet him again? Because I need to make amends to him. You see, for 30 years, I carried a resentment against a boy until my fourth step. On my fourth step, my sponsor was asking me about the situation with my eye. And I told the story about how this guy shot me. And my sponsor said, well, where are you wrong in this? I'm like, he shot me. You understand? I have one eye right now. Right now, I got one eye. The guy shot me. Because it doesn't sound like he was a guy. It sounded like he was a boy. How old were you guys? I was 12. He was 13. He goes, that's a boy. He said, where did it happen? I said, my backyard. Yeah. He said, whose idea was that? I said, it was my idea. I've been telling this story for so many years, Zach. I believe that this kid shot me. He didn't shoot me. He was a victim. And for 30 years, I held him accountable for something that he was not adult enough to even understand. And because of Alcoholics Anonymous and Slender Threads, this beautiful woman that's here with her son tonight, she put me in touch with him. And this summer, I went back for our 40th class reunion. And I said, I'm going to shoot you. And he said, I'm going to shoot you. And I said, I'm going to shoot you. And he said, I'm going to shoot you. And I said, I'm going to shoot you. And I said, I'm going to shoot you. And he said, I'm going to shoot you. And he said, I'm going to shoot you. I said to him, I'm sorry. I resented you. I didn't know if I used the word resentment, but I said, I had hurt for years. And he said, I'm sorry. But it wasn't his fault. We were kids. Alcoholics Anonymous will set you free of resentments that you have no business carrying. You drinking the poison and expecting other people to get sick over it. And the moment I was able to let go of that. Now I'm telling you, I was able to let go of this 24 years ago in the fifth step. I'll be 24 years sober next in a couple of weeks. So I was able to let this go 24 years ago, but I wasn't able to go back and make the men's until a young boy in Alcoholics Anonymous told his mom that this guy was a good speaker. It turns out that I knew she knew the same guy, put us together, and that's how God works. Can we give God a round of applause for that? What was it? But God's story. You see, alcohol. Alcoholics Anonymous doesn't. Alcoholics Anonymous loves you so much that it loves you just the way you are. I love this girl. Is this what is your name? Michelle? The one year we're right here. What's your name? What is it? I always get the first letter right. Melanie. This is Melanie's one year. I don't know her, but I know her. I love the way she said, my name is Melanie. I have one year. And it's like Rocky. I'm not even kidding. Joke now. And she went like this. And I know exactly how you feel. Getting to your one year is amazing. And next week, and next week, Melanie will hear about it. But I want you to know I felt it and we feel it and we get it. You're in the fight for your life. But I want you to know you're off the hook. You're off the hook. Another line from Paul Ephraim. May God rest his soul. You're totally off the hook. You never have to use again one day at a time, even if you want to. You have arrived. You're safe. You're going to be able to get through anything. But you have to believe in the creator and the creator. You have to believe that the creator believes in you. And you have to do the work. I'm not just saying believe. People say, well, I just go to church. You're going to be drunk. Nine out of 10 times, church people get drunk. The guy that I told you, Jerry, with 11 years, he was the most strongest Christian I knew ever. Smoking crack. He's a smoking crack Christian. Telling people about Jesus on Friday, smoking crack behind the building on Saturday. One time he had to, he was such an amazing Christian that they did a whole documentary on him. By the time the documentary, he was already on a run. When the documentary aired, he was already on a run. Faith without works is always going to be dead. I'm not saying, don't get me wrong, that here and there, God can reach down from heaven and strike you clean and you don't need meetings. That happens to somebody. For James and I, we need meetings. We shoot people. We need meetings. And most, that's, James, that's part of my story now. We both did prison time. Okay. We know how it is. James and I have that. And what I want you to hear over the next 11 weeks, that is not only possible that your life is going to change, but it's a promise that your life is going to change. But it'll only change if you do the work. Don't tell me how strong your faith, don't come up to me afterwards and tell me you're a Christian, you're on fire for the Lord, you're a pastor, I'm happy for you. But what's your home group? Who's your sponsor? Who are you sponsoring? Who are you taking to church? Who are you taking to church? Who are you taking to church? Who are you taking to meetings? What step are you on? Who are you helping this week? What's your meeting schedule? Where are you going to be by the end of the week? Because I cannot tell you how much faith without works is dead. This is a serious thing. People with faith are dying as we speak because they do not have a program. And the program is outlined specifically in the first 164 pages. And then in this book, it's going to help you to explain it. Somebody said to me this week, they're like, well, Bill W. I wrote that when he was getting high. I don't care when Bill W. did what. This book will help you. I don't take anybody's inventory. It's helped me. There's some things in the 12 and 12 that are supernatural in nature and could not be written by anybody that was not listening to God. I'm not here to trash. I owe my life to Alcoholics Anonymous and Bill W. And I think his sobriety date is today. Today. Today. I don't need to make statements about what his life was. I'm sure if he was just like me, he's a sinner by nature. And every single one of us have that in us and we're only sober by the grace of God. And the moment we start credit, we start taking credit for our sobriety is the moment we lose our serenity because then we become all powerful and we start easing God out with ego, ego. And we become all powerful. And then when we become all powerful, we then are not powerless anymore. And we're not powerless anymore. Then we become the creator of our own lives, which is the creator of misery. And it's that simple. You're either a God person or you're a you person. I already tried you. I already tried me. I tried to do me for 34 years. It was a disaster. I already did the me program. What do I like? How about me? What am I thinking about? Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. Beep, beep, beep, beep. My, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my. Crashed and burned disaster. And when you get up at the end of the night and you thank a speaker, what you're saying, you're not telling the speaker that they're great. You're saying, thank you for coming. Because I belong to a fellowship that is incredible and it's near and dear and I respect it. And I want the thing to continue. And I want to be able to the newcomer to know that that's what we do. And a lot of the traditions are getting. And we have to show the newcomer what we do at the end of the meeting, what we do at the beginning of the meeting, what we do during how it works. Otherwise it'll be lost. We have a responsibility. I'm so glad that the old timers and Alcoholics Anonymous, regardless that I didn't smoke, they told me your job is cleaning ashtrays. I'm like, I don't smoke. They said, I don't care. Nobody asked. Nobody said, well, are you a smoker? Then you should clean the ashtray. This is your job. Go pick the guy up on 95. This is your job. Russell Spatts used to tell me, go pick my sponsor up in North Miami. I'm like, I don't live in North. He said, I don't care. What does that mean? You don't live in North Miami. You want to die? Just do what I tell you to do. And sometimes people get upset that I don't speak to my sponsor that much, but you heard him over the last four weeks and he doesn't have that much compassion. We love him. But he always has the same answer from me. I call him up. I say, Russell, I got a complaint. He about my wife. He goes, you have a wife. I go, Russell, my job is killing me. He goes, you got a job. I go, Russell, my one eye is looking all over the room. I got headaches. It's migraines. It's tough. He goes, you got another eye. So there's really no point. I just realized that everything stems back to gratitude. Everything's. I remember one time he happened to be on the next car next to me. I was driving out of the Fort Lauderdale swap shop, which was a mall in Broward. And it was a really difficult day. I mean, really difficult. And he happened to be going to the same meeting, the Westside men's group. And he was traveling in the same direction. And Luke Russell looks over at me and I'm swamped over my my front seat. I'm just swamped over. He goes, what's wrong? I go, it was the worst day of my life. He goes, you were smoking crack and were arrested for prostitution today. I said, no, the customers were mean to me. And he goes, it doesn't sound like it was the worst day of your life. We hear these sayings in Alcoholics Anonymous and sometimes because we hear them over and over again, we don't give them the power that they that they must have had the first time someone heard. Hey, son, an attitude of gratitude will keep you. So remember, imagine the first time someone heard that. Imagine the first time that say, keep it simple. Go back to the basics. All these things work. Everybody in here has a reason to be grateful and probably 50. When was the last time we wrote down a gratitude list? I know Jimmy does it. He lives a life of gratitude, of gratitude. What are you complaining about? You're sober today. You're not in jail. You're not in jail anymore. You some of you have never been to jail like myself and James. You've never been to jail. You're milking this. You have a life today. Most of you celebrated Thanksgiving sober a couple weeks ago. Not everybody. Who said everybody? Not everybody. Some people just came in this week. As a matter of fact, people are here for the first meeting today. Most. Everybody had a sober Thanksgiving. Most everybody had something to be grateful for. Everybody tonight has something to be grateful for this meeting. Alcoholics Anonymous. Your relationship with God, however, inadequate is a perfect place to start. Well, I'm not a God guy, but you can be. Well, I don't didn't grow up religious. That has nothing to do with it. If we go to, let's just say we just fast forward real quick to page 85, 86, 87 and 88. And we're going to get there during the weeks. But let's just say we fast forwarded. Let's just say this wasn't the first step. And we just we just got over there and we said. And we ceased fighting anything or anyone, even alcohol. If I asked you to raise your hand on who thought of taking a drink today, 90 percent of you would not raise your hand. That is a miracle. There wasn't an hour that I didn't think about getting loaded since the time I was 12. Whatever substance was the current substance, I wanted it. I remember every single day in my 11th and 12th year of 12th grade. Every single day I found out who had this stuff, how much it was, where can I get it? How was I going to store it? What we're going to do on the weekend? How was I going to show up? And I'm not going to keep talking about my one eye, but let me share something with you. It is very hard to drive drunk. With one eye. I'm not going to bring it up every week, but I do want to tell you something is serious business. Right. Because you had to keep one eye on the road. That's the only guy you've got. So you're keeping that one eye on the line, but no one's driving the car. That's serious business. That was high school. That was the beginning. We're not even talking about drugs yet. We're not talking about what happened in Washington Heights. We're not talking about the things that brought me to my knees. Literally. We're talking about just high school, just Michelob light, something like that. Still whacked. Restless, irritable, discontent, life going nowhere, feeling of uselessness, fear. Self pity. I'm not going to make it. I'm not going anywhere. Maybe I should take my own life. This is not going to work out. Fast forward. 35 years. Can't wait to get to the meeting. Have a life. Amazing friends. We have sober Thanksgiving. We're going to have a sober Christmas. Happy Hanukkah to the Jewish people that are here. What a life. What a life we have today. And even if it was bumpy to till now, you got here. Zach, you made it. You made it. You made it. You made it. You made it. You made it. You made it. You made it. You made it. You made it. You made it. You made it. You made it. You made it. Zach, you made it. Who cares? You got a better story. You got a story. You lived it. And you made it. Step one. Powerless. Life was unmanageable. Wanted to kill yourself. God steps in. Next week, the rest of the story. God bless you guys. God bless you guys. God bless you guys. God bless you guys. God bless you guys. God bless you guys.