Step 1 — Powerlessness – Rick H. – Wilson House Big Book Workshop Retreat – 2024

About This Speaker Tape

Sonia and Rick each map out the wreckage of their drinking careers, from Sonia's descent into a drug-fueled haze and a terrifying bout of DTs to Rick's lifelong trajectory as a biker and a failed hockey prospect. Sonia recounts the moment her Higher Power broke through the noise, leading her to a detox center on Cape C. where she packed seven pairs of patent leather heels for a 28-day stay.

Rick dismantles the illusion of the 'geographic cure,' tracing his moves from Ashland to Webster and his time living in a broken-down motorhome with no engine, staring at his own reflection in a cracked mirror. Both speakers highlight the role of mentors—Sonia's spiritual anchor, Yvonne, and Rick's brother-in-law, Dick—who refused to enable them, eventually steering them toward the honesty of Step One and the safety of the rooms.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Sonia opens with her sober date (October 24, 2012) and the feeling of hope.
• 4:30 Laughter: Sonia describes packing too many high heels for her 28-day program.
• 8:15 Sonia discusses her cancer diagnosis and the support of her roommate Sarah.
• 13:40 Sonia describes 'pouncing' on her sponsor Yvonne after a speaking commitment.
• 17:10 Rick begins his share, using the bingo machine metaphor for his thoughts.
• 22:40 Rick discusses how alcohol removed his ambition to be a professional hockey player.
• 31:10 Laughter: Rick's story about the New Hampshire police station and indecent exposure.
• 42:10 Rick describes the 'motorhome bottom' and the cracked mirror.
• 48:50 Rick's first encounter with AA and the 'Goya' (Get Off Your Ass) meetings.
• 54:10 Rick discusses the danger of 'service-only' sobriety and the need for a personal inventory.
• 58:20 Sonia returns to discuss the 12 and 12 and the 'lash of alcoholism'.
• 1:03:15 Sonia's experience with Step 1: confusing powerlessness with unmanageability.