Step 1 — Powerlessness – Kathleen B. – Wilson House Big Book Workshop Retreat – 2026

About This Speaker Tape

Andy and Kathleen open with a raw look at Step One, dismantling the delusion of being 'like other people.' Andy recounts a chaotic descent from drinking dusty brandy bottles at thirteen to a cycle of poly-substance abuse, including a period of riding a pink Huffy bike to treatment while high on Suboxone. He describes the 'spiritual hole' and the mental obsession that led him to drink 'for the effect' rather than the taste. Kathleen shares her experience as a 'straight A' student and high-achiever who used alcohol to anesthetize herself, eventually becoming a 'dry drunk' who cycled through 30-day detoxes only to blackout on day 31.

Both speakers emphasize the transition from feeling unique in their wreckage to finding a common solution in the Big Book, moving past the misery of white-knuckling toward a genuine spiritual awakening.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Opening: Desiree reads Step One reference
• 1:30 Kathleen reads the set-aside prayer
• 3:00 Andy discusses Step One and the identity of an alcoholic
• 6:00 Andy's story: first drink at age 13
• 11:00 Andy's college experience at Morrisville State
• 13:00 Andy's snowboard accident and Percocet addiction
• 16:00 Andy's 'litter box' story and family intervention
• 18:00 Andy's attempt at treatment on a pink Huffy bike
• 21:00 Andy's recovery and working with a sponsor
• 23:00 Kathleen introduces herself and shares stories of service
• 26:00 Kathleen's 'dry drunk' cycles and meeting Professor John T.
• 28:00 Discussion on the 'power of choice' and closing remarks