Sponsorship and Passing the Message – Sponsorship Workshop – 2024 – Part 1 of 16 – Ali H.

Hi, everybody. My name is Allen, a grateful alcoholic. I don't know about that one. I think the 12 tradition keeps me from seeking that kind of fame and fortune, alcoholics and all this because I'll drink like that. Just another bozo on the bus, trying the best that I can. And I think everyone here is. I'm not calling you guys bozos. That's all this is saying. I like that, I like that um first of all um welcome to the last session and uh i wanna i'll say this stuff at the end but just just very grateful for everybody for the team for everybody attending we'll just do some housekeeping quick housekeeping uh we'll dive into the pages that we have to cover it so there's not that many maybe it'll take us 20 minutes to do that maybe and then the rest of the rest of the session up to 11.30 Eastern time, I would like to devote to just sharing of experiences. First and foremost, those brothers and sisters on the path that during this workshop sessions, they had the opportunity to use this framework and just experiences of how it's been. And then perhaps just your experience with the workshop if you wanted to share that. And then we'll leave the questions for a little bit later. And then after 1130 Eastern Time, where a lot of time for our session, what I'll do is I got to get in the car, drive to another AA event. So as always, I'll just hand the host duties to Mickey and then I'll be on my phone to answer any questions for the hour to hour ride. Okay, so I'll be with you guys as long as you need me to be with you. Okay. Can we get somebody who's moved to come up? And please uh say the satisfied pray the satisfied prayer for us so we can all be empty cups anyone that's moved to all right i guess i will for the last session because no one's put up their hand okay oh michelle there you go michelle's waving michelle you know by now it's got to be electronic i can't see your mouth 150 people come on all right come on michelle i couldn't i couldn t figure out where it was sorry have one of those days okay set aside prayer god please set aside everything i think i know for an open mind no experience everything i thinking now i know about the big book Alcoholics Anonymous myself and most importantly you God to set aside everything to let your lights shine in thank you beautiful thank you very much Michelle all right so a couple of quick things before we get going one is I just like to share with you guys just quickly sort of like off topic our Fellowship of the Spirit Toronto in-person conference is coming up June seven and eight i know just it's usually in june but this year just the venue changed on changes dates on us so we've happened to fall on founders day weekend so you know but uh if you guys haven't registered would love to see this week i know some friends are and we'd love to show you guys it's going to be a fantastic weekend just all your registration hotel information if you just go to triple w dot f-o-t-s dot t-o not dot c-a not dot com as in Toronto, bots.to. Thank you very much. I'll stop sharing that. And then relating to what we're doing here, some friends have asked me just as a review, basically, let's see, what is this? I hope it's the right one. Here we go. Okay, so we are now, I hope everybody on our email list, we've been emailing it out to everybody. I hope you all got the directions to accompany this, the workshop, exactly what to do, where to go, especially at the beginning, it's important we could jump around in order for us to be efficient and laser-like. The 50-something pages of step one chapters, we just condensed it, right? And step two chapter, we condensed it. And so just so you know. So today, 23, passing this message on chapter seven, it says could take one to four sessions. We did it in a couple of sessions, right and then so after this really up to you okay the way i do it uh the way i do is with a man that i sponsor after after this session we continue to meet once a week uh we've been meeting once a week you know at the beginning more than once a week till they get to inventory and finish inventory and then it's once a week and every week at the beginning it's a little bit about the immense that they've attempted plan of action for the amounts they're going to attempt the approaches are going to attempt and then we continue in the big book right so we're going to continue doing the same thing and then see i go back because at the beginning we skipped all of this stuff go back to the preface and all the forwards that's covered right and uh you anyone can easily read that and highlight what jumps at you right um bill story we skipped it that we're gonna do that uh we cover what we missed and there's a solution uh we covered what we miss them more about alcoholism it's a beautiful step one chapter that we just we just sort of distilled few pages out of it to make it more efficient and uh we cover what we missed and we agnostics and then uh with practicing principles in our affairs chapters some people think of it that way which is eight nine and ten to the wives to the employers and the family afterwards basically practicing principles in our affairs three sessions sorry three uh three chapters and then after a vision for you um after a revision for you and uh let me see is that was that there well here we go and then we i also like to cover dr bob's story after first 164 just because you know he's the co-founder with bill story was covered in the first hundred sixty four so we covered dr bob story together and then uh after that i jumped to the traditions of the twelve and twelve that's the way i do it doesn't mean everyone else has to do it like that if if all anyone did was up to what we do today that's more than enough that's because there'll be so many other big book studies that people can go to and reread the really the read the what we missed um i found one of the benefits of going back and covering this stuff that we what we miss is that i get to continue to walk with the person and we get to continue to build a relationship together it's a sponsorship relationship to me is such a sacred spiritual gift you know it sponsorship relationship is such a gift for me such a to deepen that relationship um okay i wasn't going to talk about that i was going to talk about at the end but it's coming now so i'll talk about it now so continue to walk with somebody doing one one once a week big book session and all that kind of stuff allows me to be in someone's life allows them to be in my life because what i have found through the years of a lot of big book studies a lot of passing this message on and um i've had sponsors and i've been a sponsor who keeps people at arm's length i'm not saying this everybody's assignment i'm just sharing mine okay And what I have found is that I am more effective, a lot more effective and this path is a lot more enjoyable um when how do i put this i've had some powerful messengers and teachers on my path they've all gifted me god uses them to gift me in beautiful ways the one messenger who's my sponsor now butch for the last eight years butch maslin from toronto from uh ontario canada what butch did for me was show me a side of sponsorship that I've never experienced before. Butch brought me all the way in and introduced me to the love story of Alcoholics Anonymous. What Butch does is Butch lives this program with loving kindness all the time. He included me in his life. He's included in my life we had a loving relationship together but showed me that these words in this in this book in this couple inch thick book through through demonstration he's shown me that if they don't jump off the page and if i'm not filled with the spirit of what i'm doing here that i'm missing out man there is so much more to alcoholics anonymous and i'm just talking my experience okay so much more to sponsorship and passing this message on than taking someone to the book and highlighting it's just been my experience when i pass this message on with the understanding with the knowing that the men that god puts in my path are not my agenda to keep sober or to run their lives and their paths they are actually god's gift to me god's give to me for me to stay sober and for me, to grow closer to him for me. To fulfill my deal with him to be a better servant better human being so when a sponsee calls that's god calling i have grown so much so much in effectiveness because i've been taught the last few years that this beautiful dish beautiful spiritual meal that we all get to die for those listening to recording i'm playing with big book right now right it's got to be served in a beautiful dish of kindness and not rigidity anybody can highlight words right and have a very surface like experience out of this book anybody we know a bunch of friends like that i used to be one everybody's doing it wrong i'm the only one doing it right how dare you right it's easy to be programmed by the words of this book but the word killeth and the spirit giveth life it's a different story different story when i allow with a humble spirit god i have no idea what i'm doing man i just want to serve you better just be a little better servant today than i was yesterday can you show me what my assignment is that's a different story that's a different walk that's at chuck chamberlain kind of work that's the don prince kind of that's bill wilson kind of that's dr bob smith kind of not ali two years sober thinking the big book was invented when he came into alcoholics anonymous and 12 stamping people kind of but i did the best i could it's okay i'm sort of joking around i did the best i could and that's okay because if i wasn't there i would never be here it's all sacred all of it is sacred you know so i think this one longer preamble than i was planning like usual but i think if there's one thing out of everything because let's let's not get married to methodology because there's one framework i hope it works for you has for me i've seen it work miracles for a lot of people right but let's just say but let's not get married to methodology right but if it's one thing one thing out of these 15 weeks that i hope and pray that that has flowed from my spirit into your beautiful spirit is this love in service kindness kindness that's it because at the other day all we're doing is walking each other home right what do we do i'm here to prove to you that the fourth step i do is better than yours so what do they do right we're just walking each other home anyways you know where i'm going after this i'm going to the uh i'm driving two hours to another city to go to a celebration of love an a member i'm not divulging anything he hasn't he already shared it with everybody on fate on the audience and facebook that he wanted to a member 30 plus years sober beautiful walk humble walk who would a seeker 40 years of progressive pain and pain and pain and pain to some back injury going through many doctors many solutions nothing has worked it's gone so bad two three years of interviews with doctors assisted dying at the end of may we have that in canada talking with his sponsor doing all that stuff i'm going to a celebration of life he's dying at end of me that's what i'm doing that's alcoholic synonymous he's alcoholic synonymous not what I know in this book if there's one thing that's it that's the rest man God doesn't make too hard terms anyways I love you guys thank you very much for this opportunity to be with you guys thank you for the beautiful team that we have thank you for all the attendees I appreciate you guys as I said earlier as I've said I think a few times um um this is an honor and a privilege I'm not doing anyone a favor this was an assignment which I didn't want to do but it was calling me and I'm so glad that I answered the answer the call because I've grown so much as a human being you know I'm I'm not doing any one a favor I know you guys have been gracious in thanking you guys have done me a favor God's done me all right let's get to it thank you perfect okay let's to i think i think we're at page uh because i want to leave some room uh for uh like sharing and stuff like that and that we were a page uh mickey can you tell me exactly what page we finished this 98 on the last paragraph on the page 98 beautiful okay i have a domestic problem thank you very much okay so let's just zip through this now the domestic problem uh the paragraph before i just want to no the two paragraphs i want to read that to sort of set the mood a little bit okay it is not the matter of giving that is in question but when and how to give we've already done that last week that often makes the difference between failure and success the minute we put our work on a service plane the alcoholic commences to rely upon our our system rather than upon god he clamors for this or that claiming that he cannot master to alcohol until his material needs are cared for nonsense some of us have taken very hard knocks to learn this truth job or no job wife or no wife we simply do not drinking so long as we place dependence upon other people ahead of dependence upon God so I'm passing this to a new person right you know where that meets me whatever situation in life that I'm having trouble with I certainly will not get God when I certainly would not get past that so long as I place dependent upon people ahead of dependence upon God, okay? Burn the idea into the consciousness of every man that he can get well regardless of anyone. And there's a last highlight that we did last week. The only condition is that he trusts God and clean house. Beautiful, okay? Now the domestic problem. Please circle that. Now the Domestic Problem. Please cycle that. there may be divorce separation or just strained relations when your prospect has made such reparation as he can to his family and has thoroughly explained to them the new principles by which he's living he should proceed to put those principles into action at home that is if he's still lucky enough to have a home though his family be at fault in many respects he should not be concerned about that. Grab the yellow highlighter, please. Important. He should concentrate on his own spiritual demonstration. One more yellow argument and fault finding are to be avoided like the plague. Okay. Those two lines in those two sentences, yellow from he should concentrate to avoid it like the flag. No more yellow. In many homes, this is a difficult thing to do. Grab the pink, please. Promises. For the rest of the paragraph from but it must be done in pink promises. But it must be done if any results are to be expected. It persisted in for a few months. The effect on a man's family is sure to be great. This all in pink. The most incompatible people discover they have a basis upon which they can meet. Little by little, the family may see their own defects and admit them. These can then be discussed in an atmosphere of helpfulness and friendliness. All promises. All pink. No more pink. After they have seen tangible results, the family will perhaps want to go along. Grab the pink now. Promise again. These things will come to pass naturally and in good time. Just up to time. In pink, these things will come to pass naturally and in good time. Just up to time, please. Highlight time in pink. Grab the yellow highlighter because we want to make it stand out. The rest of the paragraph in yellow. It's important. Provided, however, the alcoholic continues to demonstrate that he can be sober, considerate, and helpful regardless of what anyone says or does. Of course, we all fall much below the standard many times but we must try to repair the damage immediately lest we pay the penalty by a spree okay so we all have tons of experience like that we're not going to just you know unpack this too much pretty self-explanatory usually with a new man i share a couple experiences you know maybe ask a couple of theirs and then we move forward move forward okay i love it how it says it's just like the bar is always set so low for me god just doesn't make two hard terms you know what i mean like these are the promises but we all fall short of that don't you worry you know it's a i can make mistakes the point is that i try to clean it up i try to be a better person and that seems to be the theme if i don't have a desire to be a bad person through cleaning it up through the actions that we take in these steps when i fumble and stumble the penalty is a drink but before a drink the penalty is the destruction of everything worthwhile in life from relationships to opportunities to peace of mind, to sleep, to serenity. I cannot get away with much. The traditions tell me so. There's no need to be a policeman or woman in Alcoholics Anonymous. Alcohol is a policeman in Alcoholic Anonymous, right? My job is to be the light and I need to clean house to be their light just like you have been for me because you loved me when I was unlovable whether I was in and out or whether I i was a big book in hand 12 stomping pool you loved me when i was on level so thank you for that so that's my assignment now moving forward no okay so a little bit off topic so next paragraph no yellow uh if there be divorce or separation there should be no undue haste for the couple to get together the man should be sure of his recovery the wife should fully understand his new way of life. If their old relationship is to be resumed, it must be on a better basis since the former did not work. This means a new attitude and spirit all around. Sometimes it is to the best interest of all concerned that a couple remain apart. Obviously no rule can be laid down. Let the alcoholic continue his program day by day. When the time for living together has come, it will be apparent to both parties, okay? So again, sort of like an extension of the sex inventory pages where they talk about, you know, we are not to be the arbiter of anyone's sex conduct. And I'm also not to Be the Arbiter of Anyone's Relationships, right? I'm not to tell anyone to stay together, not stay together. All that kind of stuff. They give us some general suggestions here though, right why just maybe wait a bit or you're on better spiritual footing before praying and considering getting back together. But none of my business. That's really up to the person and the significant other and God and the step work that we do, what is revealed. Let no alcoholic say he cannot recover unless he has his family back. This just isn't so. In some cases, the wife or husband will never come back for one reason or another. In yellow, please, here's the gem right here. Here's a real gem in yellow. remind the prospect that his or her recovery is not dependent continuing yellow upon people continuing yellow next sentence it is dependent upon his relationship with god it is depending upon his relation with god and in the same theme in this yellow is important but certain highlights they are so super important in my heart my experience that please put an asterisk on the right side and the left margin of that top of page 100, that it is dependent upon his relationship with God. By the way, God doesn't keep me sober. My relationship with God keeps me sober, there's a universal difference between the two. We will talk about that towards the end. No more yellow. We have seen men get well whose families have not returned at all we have seen others slip when the family gets back too soon and we all have examples of that so for the sake of time we're going to move forward oh one of my favorite most favorite paragraphs god bless his soul charlie parker used to say that's his favorite for his favorite program paragraph in this big book if you grab the yellow please both you and the new man or woman must walk day by day on the path of spiritual progress that's in yellow please okay circle the word must in the first line there remember there's many musts in this book of spiritual suggestions as many must as well okay both you and the new man must walk day by day in the path of spiritual progress if you grab the pink highlight the rest of the paragraph in pink okay if you persist remarkable things will happen when we look back we realize that the things which came to us when we put ourselves in God's hands were better than anything we could have planned. Follow the dictates of a higher power and you will presently live in a new and wonderful world no matter what your personal, what your present circumstances. That's all I'm thinking. One of the most beautiful paragraphs in this book. This paragraph for me, it summarizes this program, what my purpose in life is and what the results of me trying to live by purpose will be in my life, or in my life will continue to be in my life. So what's my purpose in this life? What's my purpose? The big book talks about earlier somewhere, Spirit Rides Through Bill Wilson. Our main purpose is to fit ourselves to be of maximum service to God and the people above us, right? Every step, as we talked about in the past few sessions, every step eventually leads to the twelfth step, the purpose of my life—the purpose of my life. I do everything to be a better servant, to help other alcoholics and to practice principles of my affairs a little bit better um so it says both you and the new man must walk day by day in the path of spiritual progress both me and the new man spiritual progress not just the new spiritual progress me too i'm walking on this path to shoulder to shoulder i'm trying to improve too okay now look what it says we've If you persist, if I persist what? If I persist just praying and meditating, just writing inventory, just going to meetings. No, all those things are important in order to walk with a new person on the path of spiritual progress. If I insist trying to pass this message on, walking with a New Person, these promises come true in my life. Remarkable things will happen. When I look back, I realize that the things that came to me when I put these plans in God's hands as I'm trying to help his kids, right? Turned out better than anything I could imagine. That's a story of my life. And I'm sure many people can also attest to that. From the cancers and the depressions and the separations post the divorces and the financial insecurities, all the stuff in recovery. Every single thing that I put in Godís hands and I'm trying to help his kids fumbling and stumbling has turned out better than anything I could have planned. Anything. Follow the dictates of a higher power and you are presently living in a new and wonderful world no matter what your personal circumstances are. There's a lot of stuff about my personal circumstances that I could tell you guys the facts on the ground are not looking so good. But you know what? More times, more days than not, i live in a beautiful wonderful world in the now in the present moment where god is as a result of trying to fulfill my promise to this power because i have recovered and been given the power to help others don't have to do it perfectly i just gotta try that's why this workshop i believe has been so powerful nothing to do with the facilitator even though you guys are kind enough to say it, partly no. It has to do with the subject matter, has to do with seekers wanting to be better messengers. Something happens when that happens, you know, when we get together like that. All right, next paragraph in yellow. When working with a man and his family, you should take care not to participate with their quarrels. You may spoil your chance of being helpful if you do. That's so important, right? That's all important. I never take sides or get involved it in that way are they going to give me some more instructions of what to do this is so self explanatory so beautiful okay so last yellow we did is you may spoil your chance of being helpful if you do and then no more yellow but urge upon a man's family that he has been a very sick person and should be treated accordingly you should warn against arousing resentment or jealousy you should point out that his defects of character are not going to disappear overnight show them that he has entered upon a period of growth ask them to remember when they are impatient the blessed fact of his sobriety right and there's a few other chapters after this family afterwards to the wives to give some other great suggestions right al-anon is another great program that if you have been successful in solving your own domestic problems tell the newcomers family how that was accomplished in this way you can set them on the right track without becoming critical of them the story of how you and your wife settled your difficulties is worth any amount of criticism and that's so important that's all important okay when i share just like this program when i shared from my heart of that experience and what spiritual principles have gone have done it is so much more impactful and powerful than when i tell somebody what to do especially when i haven't had that experience myself right especially when I have and so i'm one of the i'm on the belief system that if i don't have a specific experience in life um and a new person responds or an responsee is going through that i can certainly help with the spiritual principles of writing inventories and praying meditating and see what god all that kind of stuff eventually i'm also pointing them to another member of alcoholics anonymous that has had that trouble and as you spiritual principles that's how god has taken them through to it right it's just so much more powerful this book is just words until i pour my experience around and then and then it starts to become alive and that starts to become 3d right otherwise just words otherwise these words perfect okay okay let's move forward in yellow please assuming we are spiritually fit circle spiritually fit with pen as well please circle spiritually fit with pen as well please in yellow now assuming we're spiritually fit we can do all sorts of things alcoholics are not supposed to do continuing yellow people have said we must no no no sorry don't do that oh i made a mistake over there okay just up to assuming we are spiritually fit we could do all kinds of things uh alcoholics are not meant to be okay so just leave it there so i made a mistake there. So no more yellow people have said, we must not go where liquor is served. We must not have in our homes. We must shun friends who drink. We must avoid moving pictures with short drinking scenes. We must not go into bars. Our friends must hide their bottles. If we go to the houses, we mustn't think of being reminded about alcohol at all and yellow important. Our experience shows this is not necessarily so. Not necessarily. So next paragraph we're not highlighting anything. We meet these conditions every day an alcoholic who cannot meet them still has an alcoholic mind. There is something the matter with his spiritual status. His only chance of a sobriety could be someplace like the Greenland ice gap, and even there an Eskimo might turn up with a bottle scotch and ruin everything ask any woman who has sent her husband to distant places on the theory he would escape the alcohol problem and in our belief in any scheme of combating alcoholism which proposes to shield the sick man from temptation is doomed to failure if the alcoholic tries to shield himself he may succeed it for a time but he usually winds up with a bigger explosion than ever we have tried these methods these attempts to do the impossible has always failed okay so pretty self-explanatory but here's a thing spirituality is not stupidity i have common sense as well right so when someone is new right it's okay not to go to bars because friends have birthday parties there's nothing wrong with that right it it's not to have another house in my home if someone feels that you know so there's some common sense that has to be used as well right to each their own what does god what's his what's the assignment for you how does this show up in your life right and i usually use my sponsor i have always i've always listened to a sponsor prayer meditation because i know people newcomers very newcomers on fire with the big book right nothing on fire beautiful under the big boat three four months in and taking this so literal that they think then that means i'm not spiritually fit and i have an alcoholic mind if i can't go to the bar every week with my friends and hang out no man no that's not what it's saying right what is the spirit of what it say okay let's just keep that in mind common sense is spirituality is practical actually very practical okay so now in that paragraph the last paragraph we read where it says in our brief in our belief any scheme of combating alcoholism which proposes to shield the man from temptation is doomed to failure. From that paragraph, please put a little line and an arrow to the right margin. Please turn the book counterclockwise so the right mind is facing you. So just sort of write along the right margin. Please write, for example, for example comma for example comma long-term treatment comma and i'll explain that i'm not putting down treatment centers at all explain that long- term treatment comma geographical cures comma etc dot dot dot so there's a lot of different examples of how we shield the alcoholic from temptation it doesn't work right long-terms treatment karma geographical cures karma etc or dot dot dot so for example long-term treatment centers sometimes people i know people that go to six months of one year treatment center thinking they've been away from alcohol dry for a year and learned a few things and then they could come and just not follow this sobriety with the program that's what i mean right long-term treatment by itself it doesn't right or geographical cures like i think people places and things absolutely when i'm new common sense tells me people place certain things right stay away from people placing things that are that about that kind of lifestyle right but if i think like i changed friends i moved to different cities my father sent me to dubai in 2006 or seven he had multi-millionaire friends that were building buildings over there went over there um and drank my drank everything to the ground drank everything today these guys put me on a plane put me back a year and a half later send me back i ruined everything right i went back home to iran for about three months now that seems to work okay because i take the disease inside of me it follows me it followers me right So that's why these things, geographical cures don't by themselves don't work. OK, perfect. Let's go back to the big book in yellow, please. So our rule is to is not to avoid a place where there is drinking if we have a legitimate reason for being there. That's in yellow. We're going to read a bit and then we're goingto just and it'll come together exactly what they're talking about in yellow So our role is notto avoid aplace where thereisdrinkingifwehavealegitimatereasonforbeingthere. end of yellow, normal yellow. That includes bars, nightclubs, dances, receptions, weddings, and even plain ordinary whoopee parties. I've read this book, I don't know how many thousands of times the last few years, you know what I mean? Every single time, ordinary whoopie party, something inside me wants to giggle like a little girl. Whoopie parties, all right, okay. To a person who has had experience with an alcoholic, this may seem like tempting providence, but it isn't. You will know that we made an important qualification. Therefore, grab the yellow highlighter. Ask yourself, ask yourself on each occasion, have I any social business or personal reason for going to this place? Ask yourself on which occasion? Have I any good social business of personal relation reason for go into space no more yellow? Or am I expecting to steal a little vicarious pleasure from the atmosphere of such places. If you answer these questions satisfactorily, you need have no apprehension. Go or stay away, whichever seems best. Grab the yellow highlighter now. They're gonna repeat that same theme, same suggestion. But be sure you are on solid spiritual ground before you start and that your motives in going are thoroughly good. That's in yellow. okay so when I was new when I was in today's day if something big is happening in my life and but especially when I wasn't you right or what I suggested is if I'm going to if I'm gonna go to a place that is going to be drinking the big book is pretty clear doesn't tell me I can never go right gives me sort of two qualifications two things to consider one do you have a good reason for going there are you just going to go hang out because you're hanging out weekly at a bar with friends or is that one of your best friend's birthday parties in a bar there's a difference right are you going to a wedding are you good right and okay yeah good enough reason i guess right and then second one is are you spiritually fit and guess what both of them are running by a sponsor because i don't see myself properly i'm asking someone else because i want to make sure right it's a good enough reason do you think okay am i spiritually fit am i spiritually free and that my motives are good perfect no more yellow do not think of what you what you will get out of the occasion think of what you can bring to it in yellow now but if you are shaky you had better work with another alcoholic instead that seems to be the solution to all my problems but if you were shaky you got better work with another alcoholic instead i don't know it could be someone has years of sobriety and really deep in this path they're just going to a really rough patch in their life maybe somebody they love had has passed away they're going through some grief and they were invited i know invited to the celebration of something after a few months of grief and you know maybe they like okay why not just go and just try to you know i don' know that's between them and god and their sponsor perhaps at that time if you feel like you're not spiritually fit perhaps going to that place is not the best thing to do, right? But that kind of thing. There's no cookie cutter. I better help someone else, okay? No more yellow. Why sit with a long face if you decide to go? Why sit with a Long Face in places where there is drinking, sighing about the good old days? If it is a happy occasion, try to increase the pleasure to those there. If a business occasion, go and attend your business enthusiastically. If you are with a person who wants to eat in a bar, by all means, go along. Let your friends know they are not to change their habits on your account at a proper time and place explain to all your friends why alcohol disagrees with you if you do this thoroughly few people will ask you to drink while you were drinking you were withdrawing from life little by little now you are getting back to the social life of this role don't start to withdraw again just because your friends drink liquor all sex self-explanatory all beautiful okay next paragraph yellow please your job now is to be at a place where you may be of maximum helpfulness to others so never hesitate to go anywhere where it can be helpful that's in yellow huge the theme of this path the purpose of my life of this life your job Now is to Be at a Place Where You May Be of Maximum Helpfulness to Others So Never Hesitate to Go Anywhere Where If You Can Be Helpful and it's one of those super important themes so put an asterisk on either side of the right and the left margin where you've highlighted this this yellow helpfulness usefulness right like i've gone to i've gotten to uh put meetings on or visit people in shelters in some of the sorted areas of downtown toronto and the dark drug deals going on and that's just a big book in hand prayer and i'm gone man no one's ever bat an eye with me no one looked at me sideways i looked at the ground anyways as i walked through it never have any trouble never had any trouble but there's many examples that you guys can give as well right um i've gone to weddings where i wasn't sure but i prayed and meditated talked to my sponsor okay go um like it wasn't a close friend right i've and i ended up 12 stepping people on the table that i said you just never know you just never know right okay so no more yellow you should not hesitate to visit the most sorted place on earth on such an air in pink now promise promise keep on the firing line of life with these motives and god will keep you on harm so specifically into talking about visiting sordid places all that kind of stuff um maybe literally sort of places but where this lands on my heart is figuratively as well i gotta keep on the firing line of life with the motives of helping god's kids and passing this message on and and god will keep me unharmed don't give me a harm keep on defying line of like with these mortars god will keep you on beautiful beautiful no more no more highlighting we're almost there many of us keep liquor in our homes we often need it to carry green recruits through a severe hangover by the way so one of the most dangerous drugs alcohol is a drug it's just legal one of the most danger drugs to detox off of is alcohol one of those dangers that's why they have it some people have it in their homes that's what they used to have it at the early days right to slowly take them off or else the guy could go into seizure right but these days we up hospitals and they do a better job, right? So just saying. Some of us still serve it to our friends provided they are not alcoholics, but some of us think we should not serve liquor to anyone. We never argue this question. We feel that each family in the light of their own circumstances ought to decide for themselves. We are careful never to show intolerance or hatred of drinking as an institution. Experience shows that such an attitude is not helpful to anyone, every new alcoholic looks for the spirit among us and is immensely relieved when we find that we are not witch burners so stop right there um afsi and i um we used to just have it in the home from the right from the beginning uh wine and beers because our family members right we used to throw family parties our families and then a couple of family members they drank they drink a lot they drink like let's say hard drinkers and then after a while we just made a decision that we don't want to be around that so we made a decision no more hard liquor uh if you're going to drink you drink your own you bring your wine but we're not going to drink like that in our home we made the decision but we don'T have it anymore we DON'T have any more actually until a couple of months ago grandma actually i call her grandma because darius calls her grandma to absy's mom absy mom she loves to drink once in a while she gets in these moods she goes months and she has one stella at night every night so we have it in the house because of her right but we made a decision not to for the most part not that but to each family their own as it says okay so we ended up at which burners okay so highlighting yellow please a spirit of intolerance it's in the middle of the paragraph which is a spirit of intolerant might repel alcoholists whose lives could have been saved just highlight out to see Highlight of the saved, right? A spirit of intolerance might repel alcoholics whose lives might have been saved. Highlight that this could have been saved. No more highlight. The sentence continues, had it not been for such stupidity. Right? The stupidity that I sometimes exhibit, not so much these days thank God once in a while, that it has to be this way because it's was like this for me and that's my idea that's the only way right i got sober now and how dare you no no no okay we we would not even do the cause of temper drinking any good for not one drink in a thousand likes to be told anything about alcohol by one who hates it some someday someday we hope that alcoholics obviously this chapter is really geared towards a prospect than the new person right just sometimes okay so someday we hope that alcoholics and honors will help the public to a better realization of the gravity of the alcoholic problem comma grab the yellow but but we shall be of little use because that's what i'm looking for usefulness we shall have a little use if our attitude is one of bitterness and hostility drinkers will not stand for it that's in yellow that's a yellow Okay, and the final paragraph in the solution portion of the big book. After this is stories highlighted the yellow face after all our problems were of our own making. Bottles will but only assemble. Besides, we have stopped fighting anybody or anything we have to all that is yellow What a beautiful, beautiful summary of this beautiful path. Please put an asterisk on either side of that yellow that you did. That's another one of those super important themes, right? Alcohol is only a symbol. I have stopped and I'm trying, hope, continue to get better at that, fighting anything or anybody. I have to. My problem is not on the outside. It seems like it is. It seems that it is my problems on the inside. my solution is complete acceptance of the present moment with the desire to serve the moment acceptance of a moment with a desire to serve the movement that's what the steps continue to help me do because that's where god relies in this moment right now in this conversation in this breath there is no other time there is another there is no future it's an illusion it's all that it's all now you know like if we count three seconds into the future i'll see one two three well i'm still in the now there's no past all there is is now and what these 12 steps as a way of life have made me present to is that gift of the now may you find him now the big book says god bless you guys i appreciate you guys um i'm gonna put my number in the chat one more time in case people don't have it anytime anything especially especially especially if any questions regarding pass this message on with this uh framework you know um i i'm here please forgive me if i don't get back to you right away but you're never bothering me so don't worry about that it's god's god gives to me um when people when he sends his kids so i can grow so i could learn okay and then uh and also just one more thing otherwise came to me to say certainly please don't get married to this framework is not the only way just one way that seems to work for me in my experience and many others that i have seen you know um just one thing that i do sort of ask to just is that um as you're moving forward um i found it's my please refrain try to refrain from complicating it do you know it's simple for a reason it's it's so okay just uh i'm sorry that came across i didn't mean it that way what i meant is i've had some friends in the the past, they add a whole bunch of stuff to the step one chapters that we've done. It just goes back to inefficiency again, right? It's so simple. It's all simple. God bless you guys. Love you guys. So I'm going to, what we're going to do now is for the remainder, so it's 1045 Eastern time until half past the next hour. I would love to hear from you guys, I'm keep recording i'd love to hear from from friends that in the last 15 weeks have had the opportunity to use this framework and any share any experiences you want one and second group of friends um friends that want to share about if they got what they got from this from this workshop in the past 15 weeks and then uh if you have any questions um unless you feel like super urgent to ask now. Otherwise, I would ask that you save your question for afterwards because I'm going to jump in the car and then I'm gonna be with you guys for about two hours so everyone wants to stay on to answer any questions, okay? God bless you guys. Love you guys, okay. There we go. Okay, thank you, thank you. Thank you. Valerie, actually, you know what? Let me stop. No, no, okay, Valerie, come on up, please. Hi, Ali. Valerie Alcoholic, you were going to stop the recording and now i get to be on it sorry um i am an alcoholic and i have the honor and privilege of serving others yeah and being overpaid with a 12 step um i want to thank you ali for being a messenger and for being a channel this has been changed so changed how i work with others i currently have someone who is on fire as a result of this who who has been in and out for a long time and is finally understanding um what surrender really means and i'm i'm so grateful to see it i'mso excited to seeit and i just wanted to share that with you and thank you so much everyone on the team for this Beautiful. Thank you, Valerie. Barb, come on up please. Hi, Barb Alcoholic. Hi. Thanks again, Ali. I just wanted to mention there are a few of us that are sponsored in the same line that attend this workshop and over um we and we've gained so much here in in these past 15 weeks we meet with sponsees uh separately on every other tuesday and what we've done in the past is maybe uh practice and share how we've practiced spiritual principles and starting on tuesday next week we are going to take them all through the book, the way you've taken us through. So thank you so much that we get to pass this on the way You've just passed it to us. Beautiful. Thank you so much, Bob. That warms my heart because it's a ripple effect that continues to go through all of us, right? That's beautiful. And I'm going to reiterate to our friends, believe you me, that real um experience of depth and weight and joy and being present to god and love in this path in this life is coming as a result of passing this message on it's coming right it's a this was just uh you know this wasn't this is the surface this this workshop thank you okay bray come on up hi hi everyone my name is bray i'm a recovered alcoholic um super happy to be here ollie i had the privilege of meeting you um at neefox in portland that was awesome and we've spoken i wanted to just say i um you know been attending this workshop since the beginning and started working with um with a young woman in march she picked up and drank and then we started working again um her sobriety date is april 11th and on friday afternoon yesterday she made her first amend and she is on fire as well it's amazing it's given me a full-on jump start and it's incredible i flip and love it and um i appreciate everyone on here thanks guys beautiful thank you so much bray and bray gave me an envelope i forgot to talk about it with the consideration that uh you know that thing the prayer in the in the resentment pages uh 1965, whatever it was, it's a resentment prayer. Some people call this sick man prayer. She had gone to a different workshop a while ago and then the facilitator asked everyone to consider that prayer to be a forgiveness prayer. And that's interesting. And I've sat with that and I'll ask everyone else to sit with that too. It's a resettlement prayer, forgiveness prayer, very nice. Okay, Carol, come on up please. Good morning. Hi, I just really want to thank you and everyone else who worked so hard to put this together. And I wanted to say that I have worked the steps many times in many different ways and always felt like it was so piecemeal and I was never comfortable taking anyone else through the steps I was scared you know and um and this has given me a confidence that I've never had before so I'm really looking forward to being able to to carry this on and I think the most powerful experience out of this for me is when we did the third step prayer together I was moved to tears. And it just, it reignited that flame in me. I still get emotional. Sorry. My nickname is Crying Carol. Anyway, and then one last thing real quick. I just wondered if the Spirit ever moved you to go through the 12 and 12. And that's all I've got. Thanks. thank you so much carol for being here because through the 12 and 12 so what i do with the men that i sponsor after we do this we go through the traditions on the 12th and 12th um and when life's gotten really busy especially in the pandemic era i sometimes either do the 12 and 12 traditions in a group of my sponsors or or i just ask them to look for a workshop there's so many workshops for the traditions. In terms of the steps as outlined, the essays on this steps as I aligned at 12 and 12, I've never been moved to do anything like this with it. I have read them. I enjoy some of the chapters and yeah, it's a great tool in addition to the big book but I've not even moved to that way but thank you so much. Marilyn, come on up please. Good morning, family. My name is Marilyn. I am alcoholic and Ali, I just want to thank you for this opportunity. This was an amazing experience for me and my sponsors. I have two women, one that had relapsed, right? And she was having difficulty getting back in, right, getting her rhythm going again, right. and i was so grateful that we i was we i was able to go along the journey with her as we were going along which was just made it even better but when i did that spiritual like you said the spiritual feast in the beginning where we lay it out you know what you know the uh the contract and we do that beginning uh process and then to get to page 20 to 23 i think we said the qualification intro life-changing for her and for me because when I did the steps and went through the book with my sponsor we did it the normal way read all the pages go I didn't get the same experience because we were emphasizing on the powerlessness how you took us through that and where I highlighted and the notes that I took and as I was sharing them with her I was growing you know and I've seen her these last few weeks her life has absolutely changed she feels empowered she understands she says for the first time I was able to look at my powerlessness and I want to tell you I'm so grateful for that and I thank you for this workshop it has changed my life it's but you know I'm always trying to grow that's all I want To do is continue to grow I'm aiming higher I want You know be a better service more useful and this has given me that opportunity and i thank you ali thank you so much maryland god bless you thank you for sharing that you are a seeker and a servant my sister love it beautiful irene irena come on up here we go can you help me yourself now there you go am I there now okay sorry about that um my name is Irina I'm an alcoholic um thank you just thank you I when this to you and the team both um it is my belief that this was truly divinely inspired from my own experience when I swam with this started towards the end of February I was one in one of the darkest places ever and some of the verbiage that you use. And I know, and you said this a lot as spirit moves and that's terminology I needed to hear. Um, and I made a comment, I think the first or second week, how I've studied spiritual direction and I've studies some of the spiritual teachers and this workshop has helped me transform or it has helped be transformed. It has transformed me. It's brought me from darkness back to light at nine years sober. And, um, I'm getting emotional because I know that it's divinely inspired and I can accept it as divinely inspired because for the longest time I was so angry at God for what had happened to me. And the verbiage that you use in the stories that others shared about their own traumas and traumatic experiences and in the, within the context of Alcoholics anonymous and within the context of this framework um has just helped me understand this book on a different level and used also the term sacred text it falls in line with all the sacred texts of the major religions right because at the foundation the message is the same i've always said that the big book is is was uh written for someone like me so i could finally get what i was raised with because i was raised on religion and i didn't get it until i got here i did not understand spirituality till i got to alcoholics anonymous and it was alcoholics anonymous that helped me get inspired to further study other spiritual teachers i mean there were even a few things you said today then my first thought was oh thomas merton prayer i don't know where i'm going but the desire to please you does in fact please you and i don'T have to do it perfectly and I can do it as spirit moves, and I don't have to be rigid. So this has been a transformative thing on a personal level for me. And it's given me additional gifts. I've met some people around the country that I've been communicating with, which I never thought would happen. I thought I'd just keep my camera off and just sit back here. And you haven't allowed me to do that from the time that I started coming into the Tuesday meeting somewhere along the way during COVID. and I happen to come across your, your workshop flyer. And it just, it, it has given me a renewed faith, a renewed sense of faith in this because I am seeing the little bits that come, um, just the little bit's the little, um signals God's here, even within all of the, um even within all of the uh trauma and i'm seeing where that is going to be the gift to pass on to others so thank you for a transformational experience beautiful thank you so much arena beautiful god he he he has called you that's why the light he's called you answered it that's how it feels for me it has anyways when i pick up the spiritual breadcrumbs that are dropped in front of me as opposed to ignoring them and i follow into an unknown man it's something and he's got work for you to do yeah that's why you're right now that's what you're saying right now just like you asked for me thank you so much appreciate it sally Sally, come on up, Sally. Hey, Ali. Hi. A few minutes late this morning. I'm going to try and do this without crying too. So I've been around here for a long time. When I first came in, taking me through the book just never happened. so here's the book read it let me know how you are in a week you know somehow i did not drink what i want what i wanna say when i got here i thought i was the devil child i came from a very violent very sick very sadistic home. And I absorbed all of this and I got to Alcoholics Anonymous, and I thought, boy, this is where I'm going to die. My mother was the most violent of the alcoholics and when I discovered that I too was, I just wanted to die, I did not want to be like her. What What I heard throughout the week from you, the level of honesty that you so willingly tell us about your experience. The level of intimacy has just allowed other people to do the same. I've heard them share things and I, I'm in awe of we come here because we're hurting so bad. And I didn't ever believe that I would ever get sober and nevermind sponsor people are you kidding? Right now I'm taking someone from the beginning. I have your notes, your book, and here I am doing this. It's because there's no secrets. I don't have to pretend or hide. I can just put it on the table, whatever it is, because it's part of my experience as a child of two alcoholics, growing up as an alcoholic, marrying an alcoholic. whole thing but it's part of life oh i this may sound really quick i just didn't know any of them i i just uh anyway i just can't thank you enough for who you are and that god is definitely this is definitely divinely inspired no question and the more you do it the freer you get at telling us how it is and it's like it's sort of like walking god is walking with you you're not sitting in that square by yourself i mean i can feel the spirituality all around you and i'm just so glad and i might have missed what you said at the beginning because i missed a few minutes but how do we get the recordings thank you thank you sally very kind words i i love you my friend so uh um the recordings so i'm going to post on face on our aa facebook page by the end of the weekend i'll post a folder of all the recordings and then i will also ask anisa to email it to our email list if you're on the midst of all of the record or the folder of the recordings i'll release that and uh and i appreciate you being here and uh god shines through the cracks if there are no cracks they don't shine oh you may i'm computer illiterate uh i'm gonna know how to do this in my next life but in this one it's not working out too well so i hope that i get to see it and don't miss it so can i ask you have you been receiving any emails from from us in the last 15 weeks have you been able to access actually no i haven't no okay so what i'll do is registered you know i'm but no i have it okay so sally would you do me a favor you have sent me a facebook message before are you okay with sending one oh sure okay would you please sometime this weekend send me your email in that facebook message and tell me email me recordings oh okay thanks okay i'll leave it personally to you love you too love you too thank you so much my way remember you got to bring that little girl with you bring your children with you not your because i just would love to see all of you you know what would be great if if you're able to come to our conference through seven and eight they're going to make a visit so you're really yeah yeah actually you know a lot i i wanted to talk to you about that i'm having some mobility issues and i just didn't know if i could do it i want to but i i'm not so anyway i'll i'll talk to you let's talk offline for sure yeah yeah thanks so much thank you so much beautiful thank you joel come on up brother please oh thank you ali um yeah i just wanted to express so much gratitude for your influence personally in the fellowship of the spirit uh in my life i know you guys came in about a year and a half ago when i was really struggling with this third step decision i was just desperate and i was being propelled forward and um yeah yeah you taught me uh love and service dependence on god and um it's it's changed everything for me today um i i came into this workshop i've been taking groups of people through back to basics and stuff like this and i really wanted to to learn a new method to bring bring about perhaps that identification that i'd had when i came in desperate and um and and i read that especially that third step um it blew me away and i knew that this book was talking about me and that propelled me forward through these steps and these decisions but um yeah i i can't claim any success stories i i tried try taking three guys through this um got them up to inventory and and they fell off um started drinking again and i really struggled with that mid-workshop um i felt defeated and but you know as we move forward i i realized that my inventory in this whole thing was i was playing playing god and i need to let god be god and just love these men where they're at and stay stay consistent in their life and and um you know and so i i have a lot of hope for that but through that i realized as well that god is god in my experience as well and i i started having a lot of peace and you know as we've as we walk through this i've learned how to be a better messenger and and i'm carrying this work into my home group uh we run a little big book study that um on monday nights i'm tearing it into the detoxes um and it's i'm i'm seeing the power of that rippling out and i'm just speaking unapologetically about the importance as well of just radical reliance on a radical cleaning house radical helping others and i've seen that leaking out and you know you've been that candle in the night for me and i m sure that that took a lot of burning and you somebody mentioned the thomas merton prayer i start my every day like that and you and i realize it takes a lot burning as we ask god to build with them as he would and we set aside but today reading this this final promise on page 100 i look back and i realize so many times you know um so many time i worried about all the details in my life and yet i just aspire to do this and and today it's it's amazing where my life is today um that the path has been twisting and turning but um but yeah today today it I don't believe in God. I know that there's God, and I want to thank you personally because you've been so beautiful in my life for that, so beautiful. So thank you. Thank you so much for this experience. It's been life-changing for me. Thank you, brother. Thank you. I appreciate you, man. Thank you for your kindness. That's beautiful. It's beautiful what God does for us and through us and to us when we're just seeking, right? and just you know what uh you said i haven't had any success stories and remember the question wasn't please put your hand up if you think you were successful it's like to do with that right man i just try man and god helps me grow i grow closer to god beautiful thank you so much i appreciate you so for the friends who have now been mistake mistook what i said to sally and are sending me private messages of their emails it's not possible for me to email each individual it just would take too long I cannot email you so please if we are going to email you if you're on our email list you would have last 15 weeks received emails if not check your junk mail right every week you would have received emails. If you're an email list, you will receive an email of the recordings. If you know on our Facebook page you I will post it there otherwise I can't I don't have the time or the ability to write down here, it won't happen. I'm just doing it for Sally because she's computer illiterate. She says, she says she is. I don't believe it. I mean, I don'T think she's a vet. That's so up. So that's that. If somebody asks how do I join the Facebook page? So you can't find it because it's private. You know what? It's private and it's invisible. We made it like that. Just try to keep us as anonymous as we can. And guess what? through being private and invisible, we grew in the last four years from 300 members to 11,700 members, just even through making it as hard as possible for people to find us. So you can't find us. The best way is to send me a message on Facebook. Just explain to me your friend the bills. You want to join that secret Facebook page. And then once I get that message from you, I'll accept your friendship and I'll add you. The reason why I need your friendship on Facebook is because it is a secret page facebook won't allow me to invite you unless you're on my friends list so that's why okay thank you guys okay michelle go ahead please i am michelle i'm an alcoholic you know ali i i could just go back over my 49 years in recovery and it's like when i walked into the rooms of alcohol tonight 1975 i always thought it was because i lived in a small area and they told me to buy a big book at a second edition big book it looks like it's brand new because that's how much i read it and for 10 years i think it was mostly fellowship recovery and i did find a 12 step and 12 tradition meeting and i didn't go to that and that's the first time i took the steps and now it's just through the 12 and 12 they did it and and i think uh you know and then i after that 10 years 11 years 12 is whatever it was i started going to god as i understand the meeting with my man who became my spiritual advisor and he said when he he knew he had was living on borrowed time and when he died i was just keep that meeting going i did for 20 years and that that part of my recovery was the real seeking part that i began the seeking part and then i came on you know i'm not gonna go for every decade of my my recovery but when i got on zoom i really thought i was embarrassed to be honest with you because i didn't i never heard 90 not 90 maybe 750 to 60 maybe i don't know percent of what people were talking about because they had changed even when i was in you know rehabs came and and uh you know all different i went through a lot of changes in alcohol synonymous over those years but anyway long story short when i got on zoom i was i was like i was mortified because ego was running the show right and then um then i started hearing people who had the same exact experiences i had from different areas of the world with the united states and across the world but have to tell you that this i've taken many many many women to the steps um this i'm taking um three sponsors through it now that have already taken to well two of them i've already taken through the steps they are getting so much out of it because one thing has been the common theme with the three of them is it's more personal asking those questions really really impressed them and it impressed me too so i am beyond grateful because you know it's like i've learned a lot over the years but like this this has really really been amazing and i really appreciate all you all your hard work and every on the team and and i just want to say thank you and i'm not going to make your little head puff up with the ego because you know how that happens but i just want to thank you and uh i just want to know how much i i love you thank you sal i love u too my friend you've been a blessing in the step 11 meeting team and in my life as well i you you don't know this but i watch you i watch you and i look and i watch and see and learn how this program looks like when you're walking it i may not have told you that but i watch you thank you for being in my life appreciate you for they come on up please i am very grateful grateful member of alcoholics anonymous ali i can't thank you and the team the service team enough for this uh this workshop it's been it's been mind-blowing it's being spiritually enlightening you know i came into this workshop at a very challenging time you know both as a sponsor and as a sponsee and and what has transpired over the past you know three months has the situation is still the same but it's no longer a challenge it was my perception that it was a challenge you know and and i realized there was i think in one of the very early sessions there was somebody posted a prayer in the chat and it's something to the effect that you know it said god please don't remove this personal situation from my life until i have learned what they are here to teach me my god that was you know i read that prayer and it was in the chad box and in that instant i knew i knew why god had put me in this place and i've grown from this and you know tremendously a lot of situations that happened in the past three months uh i'm gonna reach out to you personally on a couple of situations to to ask your opinion i'm sorry i shouldn't say opinion your experience that's the wrong word you know uh because yeah so hopefully you know i can get some guidance on that if you have that experience um i've gone through in fact one of the funny things that has happened to me i realized today you know going through this was i knew on an intellectual level where my self-will was clashing against god's will and i knew that and yet i was having such a struggle accepting that myself was getting in the way and you know i kept going back to to my motives i kept asking myself am i being dishonest i knew i was being dishonested and yet i was unable to accept that and something has happened i transpired through and it's it's temporary i know i've been in there have been times in my recovery where i've been in a very safe place very good place you know knowing god's will but again you know that self-will keeps coming back from time to time and what this workshop has done for me it has really given me a fresh perspective on surrender and on my own powerlessness and and and at and the ones and this may come out the wrong way but i gotta tell you this i know that you know what i'm at a point now where um even as a sponsee uh i see i think my sponsor as grateful as i am to him for everything that he has done for me um it's time for me to to maybe expand my horizon a little further and and seek uh guidance elsewhere and i've already informed him of that and he's a very gentle soul and he has uh you know he's a sober individual uh but i gotta tell you man this is uh this this workshop has been just life-changing i want to thank you so much and oh by the way my wife used to attend or attends that effort you know that tuesday night meeting from time to time and she's been telling me for the last couple of years you got to go to this 11 step meeting you gotta go to this eleven seven i'm a prejudiced alcoholic man i know everything that i did needs to be known about step 11. i don't want to go there i've because of this workshop i finally came on that meeting this past this past week and i gotta tell you it was he had a wonderful speaker you know and uh it was so humbling to listen to someone with so much experience in sobriety just come across in such a loving way i'm humbled i'm humble by this experience thank you so much for everything ali thank you so brother a lot of love to you it's a pleasure meeting you thank you for all the for the energy you injected into this workshop i appreciate you man thank you looking forward to speaking with you and we got two more okay and then and i'm going to jump in the car and we'll continue on the car lorraine before before loraine comes up just wanted the beautiful team that we have oh man just this you know this this wouldn't have been done possible without you guys frank and kristen who are not here kuna who's not here and obviously lorraine and becca and mickey and trish i appreciate you guys and so much love for you guys thank you so much for being here for giving up your time and spirit you know thank you very much i truly appreciate you okay loraine hi everybody my name is lorain i'm an alcoholic first of all just um this has been such a powerful experience i'll never forget the morning we all logged on here and there was like 350 people and i just got tears in my eyes and i thought this is how much this man has loved is that 300 and something people showed up here to check out this workshop and it's just been such a marvelous experience i just you know and um and you know you let me be on the team because you know you just i know you you wanted to make me feel included because i'm new and i'm struck i'm not struggling i'm having a great time but you you just included me and thank you for that i really i really you know being new you know i'm working on you know just wanting to be a part of so much and you really helped me with that thank you and um when i heard about this workshop i had you know knew it sponsoring and you know just doing it and i um you know i was getting these women and i was thinking oh my god she's gonna drink and so i was like going through the book and like doing you know getting through the chapters and getting them to that fourth step so that and i felt like such a fraud i thought oh my god what am i doing i'm not even reading the big book line by line like you're supposed to and i thought well they're in their fourth step and i'm watching them change how bad can it be and then when you said you were gonna do this i thought, oh it wasn't stupid. It was okay. It It was okay to make another interpretation and to just get somebody to the work. So it just was like, you know, because I struggle with that, what is an absurd idea or action or what is truly an inspiration? Is it a working part of my mind yet? Or am I crazy? You know, I'm still learning so much. So anyway, this is amazing. And I told you I'm so fortunate that one of the gals from the workshop here got a lot more years of sobriety than me we're just going to go through the book to practice so we say okay before we take a new person through we're just going gonna go through with everything we've learned and like check it out see how we're doing so anyway i will so miss being here on saturday mornings i really really will i thank you all of you thank you lorraine a lot of love to you thank you so much for everything that you did for the team for the energy that you brought i just want a couple of things one is that you know how you said i'm still struggling with and i and i hear you right i'm so struggling with uh what's god's will what's my world why absurd idea just like right so here you know what the gift has been for me where are you i can't see oh there you are okay i stopped struggling like like i just thought like what i mean is that whether it is or it isn't okay god doesn't make too hard you know i just all i gotta do is try my best to show up right i have certain things around me to help me decipher a little bit spiritually which is the steps the inventories around it if i could do it my sponsor right prayer meditation but at the end of it just to the extent that i do as god as i think he would have me do does he match calamity with sweating my heart not just to the extent that i know and i'm perfectly doing his will just to be exact that i think he would he doesn't make too hard terms so if you want to so i i me too i'm not a hundred percent sure every single time if this is my ego or god but you know what i stopped struggling with it because He doesn't make too hard terms. I'm just trying, I'm trying. A lot of love to you my friend, thank you for being here. Lisa P last person before we end the official meeting and join the after meeting. I feel a little intimidated being the last person but I felt so moved to just thank you Ali for everything that you have brought for the kindness and love that you've continued show through all of these weeks you know we i feel like i hopefully will become have become a little bit of a better sponsor but really about a better person and a better wife and a better mother and a uh just kind of everything you know you talked you said today about being seekers trying to become better messengers and i can tell you from the bottom of my heart that you have made me a better messenger and for that I am incredibly grateful and I have a little sticky program on my big screen and I have one in the left or left from the first time you ever said dud God doesn't make too hard terms and I keep reminding myself of that Ali because I am so good at the stories that I create for myself every minute and I'm so good at complicating all this and putting all this stuff on top of everything. But I've got that blue sticky up in the upper left-hand corner of my screen that says, God doesn't make too hard terms. And it reminds me of what's important. And you also said that, and I'm just going to end on this. You know, I used to always believe that the Dalai Lama told us the purpose of life was to be happy. And I clung to that. I've clung To that my whole life. And that's a good thing to struggling to but you reminded me that the purpose of my life is to become more useful not to be happy and that has really stuck with me and is deep deep deep in my heart so for all of those things thank you thank you Thank You and I know we will continue to see each other and uh very very grateful thank you. Thank you Lisa what a perfect share what a way to end this um the poor room he says only from the heart you can touch the sky there's no other way god bless you guys i love you guys