Sobriety When the Desire to Please Others Fails — Marcy P.

About This Speaker Tape

A woman in the back of a cop car, handcuffed and bleeding, kicks the window out in a blind, alcoholic haze. This was the low point for Marcy P. at twenty-six, a frantic attempt to escape a reality she had spent years blurring with blackout drinking and a desperate need to be liked. Raised by a father who died a sober man after decades in the program, Marcy spent her youth as a people pleaser, hiding her drinking from her parents and treating AA as a sad club for old men.

Even a near-coma hospitalization in college couldn't break the cycle. For years, she functioned as a high-flying professional, drinking on the company dime and lying to everyone she loved. It wasn't until the wreckage became absolute—the loss of her marriage and her career—that her desire to please others failed her. Only then did she find the willingness to be beaten by the disease and surrender to a Higher Power and a sponsor who methodically worked her through the steps.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Introduction by Howard L. and overview of Marcy's early exposure to AA
• 12:50 Marcy describes her father's morning prayer routine and his relationship with a Higher Power
• 18:40 Discussion on the family liquor store and the contradictions of growing up around alcohol
• 24:50 Details on her college drinking habits and a near-coma hospitalization
• 32:10 Account of her first DWI arrest and the incident in the police car
• 45:20 The 'bottom' falling out: losing her job, marriage, and housing
• 53:15 Experiences in a sober living house and working the 12 steps with her sponsor
• 58:40 Discussing her spiritual awakening and the restoration of her family