Sheila A. on Sponsorship, Family Alcoholism, and the 12-Step House

About This Speaker Tape

Booze and peppermint. That was the smell of Sheila A.’s mother—a blackout drunk nurse who vanished for months, leaving her children to bounce through foster homes. Sheila recalls the jagged edges of a childhood spent on guard, the paradox of loving a mother who wasn't there and a father who arrived late with a Thumbelina doll in one hand and a mitt in the other. She describes her early drinking as a "transformation," a way to finally fit in, moving from a "bush in bloom" prom dress and a date who bit the head off a live frog to a life of cocktail waitressing and volatile marriages.

The wreckage peaked at twenty-eight: homeless, intoxicated, and clutching a toddler. After a one-way ticket to Oklahoma and a series of collisions with her father, she found a Higher Power. Today, she stays sober by sponsoring others, admitting she is a "really sick alcoholic" who must stay out of herself to survive.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Sheila A. opens by thanking the group and discussing the importance of sobriety birthdays.
• 4:15 Childhood memories of her mother smelling like 'booze and peppermint'.
• 8:30 Laughter: The 'bush in bloom' prom dress and the live frog incident.
• 13:45 Description of the 'Junior United Nations' in her foster home.
• 18:20 The 'brown out' and her early experiences with alcohol as a teenager.
• 23:10 The volatility of her marriage to a bar owner and her tendency to fight 'big grown giant men'.
• 27:50 The emotional account of her mother's final days and the act of forgiveness.
• 32:15 The 'moment of clarity' on December 15, 1984, after nearly losing her son, Brad.
• 35:40 Mention of the Big Book and being 12-stepped by a man at a kitchen table.
• 39:10 The relationship with her father, Jim S., and his passing after 11 years of her sobriety.
• 44:20 The story of her brother, Jim S. Jr., finding sobriety and his meeting with Clancy.
• 48:50 Closing thoughts on her son's current struggle and the commitment to 'one day at a time'.