She Got an Allergy Test to Prove She Wasn’t Allergic to Alcohol – Francine W.

About This Speaker Tape

1979, Las Vegas. A woman lies nude in her own waste, surrounded by the smell of animal refuse and a compound fracture that refuses to heal because she is drinking too much to mend. Francine W. describes the visceral grit of a life spent as a "garbage can," using any chemical available to zip herself out of a skin she couldn't stand. From a childhood of poverty and prejudice in New York to the furs and diamonds of the Upper East Side, she reveals the paradox of the high-society alcoholic: the clothes changed, but the "dirty stuff inside" remained.

She recounts the absurdity of her denial, including the time she sought an allergy test to prove she wasn't allergic to alcohol. Through the guidance of a Higher Power and a sponsor who demanded "esteemable acts," she moved from a place of "slutdom" to a woman who walks with dignity. She carries a ten-inch scar on her leg as a permanent reminder of the price of the bottle.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Francine W. opens with a lighthearted comment about feeling like a 'tin soldier' and her habit of taking off her shoes when speaking.
• 5:45 Discussion on the 'walking, talking, living miracle' and the lack of dignity in her early life.
• 10:15 Childhood in Atlanta and the feeling of being 'on the outside' of the party.
• 15:30 Role models: How she learned to drink and smoke by mimicking Bette Davis and Joan Crawford.
• 22:10 The 'dirt' on the inside: Laughter and reflection on the shame of her active addiction.
• 28:40 The 'Merry-Go-Round of Denial' and her experience with a therapist suggesting an allergy to alcohol.
• 35:10 The car accident in Las Vegas and the compound fracture that left her with a permanent scar.
• 42:00 The 'moment of clarity' and the image of lying in her own waste in her apartment.
• 48:15 Sponsorship: Louise's tough love regarding 'esteemable acts' and dressing like a 'hooker'.
• 55:30 Step 4: Working through resentment toward her mother and moving away from the victim identity.
• 62:10 The grueling journey through law school and the struggle to pass the New York Bar.
• 71:00 Closing thoughts on the gift of choice and a reading from 'As Bill Sees It'.