Sarah M. – Steps 6-7 Defects – The Danger Of Thinking Your Way Out – 2025

About This Speaker Tape

Finn and Sarah map out the friction of the first three steps, specifically the war between a rigid, controlling mind and the necessity of surrender. Finn recounts his early resistance to a Higher Power, his obsession with OCD-level order, and the absurd moment he was forced onto his knees by a missing Birkenstock clog. He describes his 'Spoon' Higher Power—a literal visualization of being carried by a giant spoon—as a way to bypass his anger toward religion.

Sarah dismantles the 'fantasy land' of the alcoholic mind, where fear masquerades as strength (Harley D. and tattoos) and self-seeking behavior is a survival mechanism. The conversation moves from the terror of the Third Step—which Finn describes as jumping off a cliff—to the relief of realizing that spirituality isn't about religious perfection, but about stopping the exhausting effort of managing the world.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Opening with the Serenity Prayer and a Big Book reading on Steps Two and Three.
• 2:15 Kirstie shares her experience with a Russian Big Book Zoom meeting and the universality of recovery.
• 7:45 Finn discusses his initial hatred of the word 'Higher Power' and his struggle with Step Two.
• 12:10 Laughter: Finn describes the 'missing shoe' incident that forced him onto his knees.
• 16:30 Finn explains his 'Spoon' Higher Power and the insanity of his early visualizations.
• 22:15 Finn describes the terror of the Third Step as 'jumping off a cliff' and his history of suicidal ideation.
• 31:40 Sarah reads from the Big Book regarding selfishness, self-centeredness, and the 'fantasy land' of fear.
• 38:20 Sarah discusses the difference between judging a Higher Power based on human hypocrisy versus spirituality.
• 43:10 Finn shares his strategy for removing the thought of a drink by immediately telling another alcoholic.