Sarah A. – Step 1 – The First Word Is We – 2025

About This Speaker Tape

Sarah and Finn map out the jagged line between high-functioning success and total wreckage. Sarah traces her path from a 'coke freak' in the 80s—robbing a bank with a getaway car and living in the 'combat zone' of Boston—to 41 years of sobriety. Finn contrasts this with his own 'high producer' facade, maintaining multiple degrees and a career in law while secretly drinking from coolers in the basement and attempting suicide before age ten.

Both dismantle the myth of the 'bottom,' discussing how unmanageability often feels normal until a moment of clarity hits. They dig into the 'Tower of Terror' in the mind, the delusion of the 'one drink,' and the necessity of a community to break through the lies of the addicted brain. The narrative moves from the chaos of drug houses and casino benders to the quiet, hard work of the steps and the grief of losing a spouse.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Kirstie opens the weekend with a moment of silence and the Serenity Prayer.
• 2:15 Laughter: Kirstie shares the 'fun fact' about Sarah's tattoo of another man.
• 5:10 Sarah describes her early years as a 'coke freak' and the trauma of her childhood.
• 10:30 Sarah recounts the failed bank robbery and the getaway car in Chicago.
• 15:45 Sarah discusses the 'hallucinatory experience' and her first prayer for help.
• 22:10 Finn describes his childhood in an alcoholic family and the 'paddy wagons' at weddings.
• 28:40 Finn shares his 'high producer' facade and his struggle with the 'one drink' delusion.
• 35:15 Finn discusses his surrender and the Bass River Morning Group meeting.
• 42:00 Sarah and Finn discuss the 'Tower of Terror' and the nature of denial and mental illness.
• 50:10 Finn reflects on the 'We' in the first step and the necessity of community over isolation.