Sandy B. Discussing Steps 10 and 11 and Entering the Higher Power’s Territory

good morning everybody my name is Sandy Beach and I'm an alcoholic Chris I'm supposed to do the jokes anyway boy Clancy this is first of all I want to say how much fun it is to have this group behind me Chris and I helped rejuvenate the oldest meeting in Tampa, which is a Thursday night speaker meeting. And next month, here's two speakers that are coming to our group. And so it's just really cool to be up here as part of the Tampa St. Pete AA family. The greatest society that a person could possibly belong to is Alcoholics Anonymous. And it's a worldwide society. It's a spiritual society and I don't know how we get chosen to come into this but it isn't ironic when you think of spiritual stories they look in the jails, in the nut wards you know the bottom of the barrel the garbage pile to put together the bright jewel that shines on our planet, which is this fellowship known as AA. And it really serves as a modern miracle for others to wonder about. They do a lot of writing about AA. Sometimes they're close. Most times they miss the mark because it's not anything you can learn about, you have to experience. And you try to explain AA to your family and until they come with you to a meeting, they do not get it. But as soon as they come with you to a meet-up or to a meeting, they go, oh, I get it and they can feel what happens in the room which is quite hard to put into words which is why speaking about our program is hard it's like speaking about a mystery we know what it looks like but we don't have any clue exactly how it's possible and in a way our steps are like that they're there and you can read them but they do not offer a logical explanation for the results that they get and Clancy talked about it last night this book is somehow magic And so I'm going to just pick up where I left off on the theme that one way of looking at the 12 steps is by looking at the result first and then figuring out what the problem was that needed that kind of a solution. What was the problem that is resolved by awakening? And as we talked about it, we found that during our fifth step with our sponsor, we started looking at things differently, namely the list we had written. And we saw it differently. And that is really what spirituality is, as far as I see. It is the power to see things differently. And as we continue to erase the old pictures and thoughts, what's left is very comforting and assuring and very harmonious. And so we get to the tenth step today, which immediately follows the promises, which are spiritual magic. Self-seeking will slip away. Fear of people and economic insecurity will leave us. We're going to suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we couldn't do for ourselves. And that sudden awareness is the best definition of the beginning of an awakening that I can think of. You're just the way you were all day long, and all of a sudden you just know that all of this that's happening in your life has a cause, and that whatever that cause is just contacted you. like a tap on the shoulder I really do exist and you feel it inside no one else sees it it's an individual contact and you just become aware of it now that's not enough to nourish us for the rest of our lives but it's enough to cause us to want more and so that is where these steps that are covered this morning come in. Now I've had a glimpse, I've Had That Sense, I've HAD THAT REALIZATION that I'm part of something that I didn't really see clearly before and I want more. And Step 10 is the beginning of this process. Right after that awakening that contact at the end of the promises begins in the big book about two sentences into the explanation of the tenth step. It says, we have entered the world of the spirit. And most of us read that and go, isn't that a cute phrase? Is that how you... That's how I react. Oh, isn't THAT cute? I wonder why Bill put that in there. Still don't have any money. I guess you stay broke in the world of the spirit as well as you do in whatever the other world is. And we tend to just let it pass, right? That's what I did. Isn't that cute? That's kind of reassuring. But it never dawned on me it was real. You follow what I'm saying? I just walked into a new world, and the new world is the spiritual world, and we operate with different principles in here than anywhere else. And in this world, self-sufficiency is out, and God dependence is in. and we give up having personal plans for how the universe ought to be and we decide that maybe there's something that can think up a better plan than I can for everything. And wouldn't it be interesting to abandon all of my views on how my life should go and how the world should go and how everybody else should behave and see if I can't stay in touch with this signal that appears to be guiding me. So, that's an entirely new plan. It's like Scott and I did a lot of flying and it's like the difference between VFR and IFR. You know, visual flight, you just look, oh, I know where I'm going, I'll follow that mountain, I'll go down that river and now it's socked in. hello, I can't see a damn thing. I'm going to have to rely on something totally invisible. A beam, a beam is coming up. They used to call it flying the beam. You'd listen, you could hear beep, you know, and you're going to put your life on the line for a little beep. That takes a lot of faith, doesn't it? Well, you may not have been doing it, but if you were a passenger, the pilot was doing it. Couldn't see a damn thing. He's up there. I think this works. We'll find out. And much to our surprise, just before we hit the ground, there was the runway. Yay! How about that? So we've been really putting our faith in invisible, unexplainable things all our lives. And yet there's a reluctance to do it in this case. And we talked about that in step six. We've been in charge so long. Our old ideas are so strong. I can still hear my father and I can hear everybody. You have to do it. You haveと do it Nobody else will do it If you give up you're a wimp You're going to surrender You're gonna quit Hello, quitter! Remember all that? Just beating and pounding And we come in here and go Okay, quitters win What? Yeah, you have to surrender Put your hands up. White hand. I surrender. I give up. Total surrender. And the second you do that, there's an immediate gift. It's called peace of mind. Wow. Is this easy? Is this easier? So step 10 is the world of the spirit. And as I can't, I'm not a big quoter. I know general what the words say. But about two sentences later, it's explaining. Here's how you live when you're in the world of the Spirit. Okay, you ready? Okay. Here's the plan. And once again, the plan is too simple and we look at it and go, very interesting but I have a lot of love and I've got to leave all the ways of doing it. Whenever we're disturbed, upset, afraid, worried, whatever it is, we ask God at once to remove them. There's no more parts to the plan That's all I'm saying. Okay, any questions? That's it for the... That's it for the rest of your life. Are you ready for that? Oh, good, good. Okay, okay, God, take that. Well, where do I fit in? Where I, I. When do I? Okay, I know I can always ask God to get rid of this fear, but I think I'll just walk through it today. I like that idea. And we constantly come up with solutions that involve me, It involved me providing the solution, thinking up the answer. And so you'll hear it at discussion meetings. Somebody says, well, if you feel a little fear coming on to the day, what do you do? Oh, I go running. I go eat a pie. I go take my mind off. I go do this. Did you ask God to remove it? No, it didn't get that bad. I didn't want to do that. I didn' t want to d o that. so here it is and we act like I don't know what to do everything's all messed up this takes quite a bit of doing we ask God at once to remove them and then we consult with someone else going back to step 5 the same type of thing I don' t know if I mentioned it but in step 5 was a very interesting sentence to help us understand the necessity for running things by someone else. That's why we have sponsors or close advisors. I have three close, close men that I talk to about things. My sponsor for 42 years passed away and I'm using these three advisors. It's the same function. It is the don't think it through on your own. Run it by. And so this thing in the fifth step was people of very high spiritual development always insist on checking with others the guidance they feel they got from God because we still have the ego. The ego's trying to surrender and cooperate with us as we're trying to grow. I think the ego wants to go home as well as we do. It just got stuck in that role of playing jokes on us and got carried away. Reminds me, my ego I've named Frank Morgan who was the actor that played The Wizard of Oz. Oh my God, The Wizard! Anyways, the actor that played the wizard played. And when Dorothy came up and yanked... Do you remember when she yankged the screen away and there he was, an old businessman from somewhere who'd just been stuck behind there watching out for the Wicked Witch of the World? And then he said, oh, I can go home now. He wanted to go home too. All of us wants to go home. Even the jokester who's been creating this scary world, we fell for it. And so that's why we check with others. I read things and I get ideas and then I call Chris up and I say, does this sound crazy? And he goes, yes. Okay, thank you. So there is that running things by. It's almost like the spiritual law of comedy. Any comedian will tell you that the only way you know if a joke is funny is if there's an audience present. You may think it's the funniest thing, and remember Johnny Carson used to do that every so often. He would go out there and he'd go da-da-da in the audience or just sit there. and then you can see he turned to one of the writers and he'd go, you were right. It isn't working. So even the most talented like that can come up with an idea that is wrong and so can you and I and so this is what is being suggested that we run right there in the 10th step ask God to remove them and then run the situation by and then out of that process we might find out that an amend is necessary and so we make it we admit that we're wrong so it sounds like continue to take personal inventory which is running things by and when we're gone promptly admit it this is much more spiritual than it looks because we've set the model to really understand why this is so vital. In the beginning, being wrong is so painful, we can't stand it. And I know you've all heard me talk about the first time my sponsor convinced me that my position was incorrect. And he said, well, well. And I finally just had my head down and went, okay, you're right. And he says, no, you are wrong. And then it was, well, that's the same as they will say it. And it was wrong. And then as soon as I was wrong, it felt so good. It was like throwing up some rotten food. Oh, it was awful throwing it up. But boy, did it feel good when it was out of your system. And I felt the wonderful release. I am wrong about that. Wow. So I was carrying around something that didn't fit. It was incorrect. It was wrong." So now comes the process of examining, as we continue through life, what else am I wrong about? Do you ever think of it that way? Because everything that I can find out that I'm wrong about and get rid of, I am closer to the goal which is to see through the illusion of all my old ideas that aren't right and because they're not right they're scaring the hell out of me because I believe them I react to them I react to the fact that this group of people is terrible and I don't like this and I'm no good and my parents were terrible whatever the great drama that we put together that is our little soap opera and it would be alright if we didn't emotionally react to it but there's no way to separate the two the story and the emotions that go with it so we just find ourselves disturbed all the time by ideas that are wrong and here's the step and Chuck Chamberlain used to call it Uncover, discover, discard. And, oh, here's some. I just found something else I'm throwing over here. Rip. Yay! And every time you throw away an old idea, you get lighter and lighter and brighter. They're not wearing you down. Just imagine how much resentments weigh in a emotional and spiritual way. They just are burying us. All the hatred. I hate 21 people. That's like carrying a ton on our shoulders. Why don't you get rid of it? I'm not letting them off the hook. And just being ground into the ground, carrying this incorrect. Because as I forgive them and let it go and say, my assessment of them was wrong. They change. And then we see we really were wrong. And they're just another one of God's kids who got lost and was wandering around lashing out or thrashing, trying to find some happiness for themselves in an incorrect way. And we've been given a new vantage point because of that contact and nothing else. You don't get a new vantage point by learning anything. It is revealed. We unlearn. We get rid of these old ideas that are causing so much pain in our lives and give us the illusion that we are separated from everything else in the universe. Now, my mind, when somebody advanced the proposition that God is everything. Oh, it's advanced it. It's in the big book. God is Everything or He's Nothing. He either is or he isn't. What is your choice to be? And I saw that and said, well, I choose that he is. Before that, I chose that he wasn't. Not everything. So then I said, okay, he's everything. And I said so. He's this microphone. He's his book. He's me. he's Chuck, Loretta, Chris he's that, he's this, he is that he's everything the moon, the stars black holes, whatever it is all eternity and as hard as I could I couldn't get rid of the other idea that in addition to everything there's me how is that possible and I know you've had that feeling yep there is everything and then there's me somehow I seem to exist in addition to everything separate from everything how could I exist separate from anything how could that possibly be possible It's so simple, it's ridiculous. You just make up a story that you exist separate from everything and fall for it. And Frank Morgan goes, boy, I got him going today. That's the wicked witch. That's where we stay until we're contacted. Knock, knock. we intuitively know we suddenly realize so there's the beginning and now we're going to open this up and the way it's done by being wrong what else am I wrong about what else Am I wrong about oh there is no wicked witch of the south good you see what I'm saying there isn't this there isn' t that and slowly what gets revealed our true nature. That's what's being revealed. Wouldn't it be fun to know the truth about yourself? See, because the truth about yourself would be the truth of God. The truth about everything. That would be the truth about everything because everything is going to be revealed to you. It only can come through you. I may have had some things revealed to me but they're very little use to you except to possibly inspire you to try and find the same thing. And that's why we say in the program, if you want what we have and are willing to go to any length to get it. So there must have been something when we came in the programme that attracted us, attracted, and it wasn't knowledge. It was something else. It was an energy in the AA rooms that we could feel and it was causing a connection with a part of us that we had almost forgotten was there, which was our spiritual side. In other words, the connection that is made in AA is spirit to spirit instead of mind to mind. And we feel it and we can't explain it. And that's the difficulty and that's why we make up stories. All religions and spirituality, their best points are made by making up a story. The prodigal son story, all of us can relate to that. Oh, I went out and I got lost. And then I came home and oh my God, home was better than ever and I'm just so happy to be back and I never appreciated it until I lost it. And all of those types of feelings and it's all contained in the story. So that's why we tell our stories. We come up and we go row, row, Row and I go, oh, I relate to that. And Clancy made the point so strong last night that when you go on a 12-step call, the alcoholic tells about himself and the new person identifies. And they go, huh, that's me. This man or woman is me. That's the first time, and there's the connection. And then because of that connection, they trust this person to do things they would never do for anyone else. Inventories and all the stuff that's involved in our steps. And so it leads us to this point, which is getting rid of old ideas, making amends. And in the 12 and 12, there is a further guidance for the 10th step. And there it makes something clear that we talk about, but we don't really explain how to do it. And when you look in there, it explains that now we have settled with the past. We've done everything that needs to be done to get to this point, which is in contact. We're in the world of the spirit. How can we stay there? How do we maintain our spiritual condition, which isn't in the big book? And we need to do that because alcoholism, alcohol is a subtle foe. And so in the 12 and 12, we find out how to stay in the now. and of course the answer out of the 12 and 12 is to stay undisturbed it's right there whenever we're disturbed no matter what the cause there's something wrong with us so again we have some ideas that are disturbing us and we must get rid of them so how are we going to get rid of Frank Morgan playing another trick on us. And there's four parts that come right out of the 12 and 12. The first one is self-restraint, which we pray for in the morning. Try to have a 10-second cushion between yourself and all the events of the day. My friend Ed Chandler used to say, as I go out the door, I let five people be wrong ahead of time. That's a spiritual cushion. And so if we can bring that cushion into our day, we're in the workplace wherever we are and the boss comes in and in front of all the other employees says, Fred, I read your memo. It sucks. And we have the cushion so that we don't do anything. We feel this and that allows us to let the energy to come back down, not say or do anything, take the memo, go back in our office, think about it. Is it a bad memo? Is it good memo? Let me think about this. So I'm going to do an honest analysis of what's wrong. I get on the phone because I'm not going to reach conclusions on my own. I'm no longer going to consider my analysis. So I call my advisor and I have a secret code word. When I say, can I run something by you? He knows I'm only going to stay on the phone 30 or 40 seconds. So even if he's with somebody, he can go, yeah. Okay, the boss came in, wrote the memo about the supply thing and he went in front of all the other people and he may say, well, that's the rudest thing I ever heard of. That is absolutely outrageous. Your boss is probably just so screwed up, probably having problems at home. Forgive him. or he may say read the memo to me that is a lousy memo why don't you think it over figure out how to make it better go into the boss make an amend tell him sorry you wrote such a lousey memo take a look at this one end of story the game is not to win it's to get back to being undisturbed whoever goes through the day least disturbed is the new winner in our game okay whoever goes through and I would not have won when we got here and my two friends from Miami will vouch for that because we I was tired and cranky and just hadn't eaten and we were going to go to lunch and the lunch place closes at 2 and it was 2-0-1 and when I was informed we weren't going to be able to eat I did not react the way a role model would react so I made several amends to the hostess so now you see the package how to get undisturbed Honest self-restraint, honest analysis, including running it by somebody else. A willingness to forgive if it's somebody else's fault and a willingness to make amends if it is ours. End of story. We are not going anywhere with this except back to undisturbed. Because in an undisturbed status we can be in contact with the guidance that is coming from our new found contact so that we will intuitively know how to handle situations as they come along. It is the highest level of wisdom that we can have access to, but it's only available if you're undisturbed. Otherwise, you're on your own. Just let your anger take over and let it guide you in what to do with the memo and what to tell the boss to do with the memo and where the unemployment office is. So that's sort of step ten. And then we get to, I'll take 15 minutes or so, sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understand him praying only for knowledge of his will for us and the power to carry it out. And I like the word contact, conscious contact. I've symbolized that just for story purposes with we suddenly realize God is doing for us. We were contacted. It is now flowing through us. What? A power. What is this power? I want to find out more. See, that's what the contact does. It makes us want to know more about it. What is this? What is it really? So now we're talking about the power of the contact and then I'm going to come to understand it. So the power as I understand it and I understand it better by getting more contact by having more of it and I get more by getting rid of everything that isn't. And so, prayer and meditation are just the eternal means that mankind has used for thousands of years in all countries in order to be able to hear the guidance. I remember listening to one of Chuck's talks and he's just very calmly said, well, for the last 22 years I've just been guided by God all day long. and I went well that's very interesting but I got problems Chuck I haven't got time to be walking around glided you follow what I'm saying I didn't even know what the hell he was talking about well that is nice for you Chuck but I live in the real world like he did you mean you actually could walk hand in hand with the spirit of the universe? Remember that out of step five? You mean you could? So I'm talking to God. You mean I actually could? Well, I contacted you. What the hell's wrong with you? Oh, maybe I better try harder. Well, how do I do that? You have to pay no attention to your thinking. Well, why would I want to do that? Because that's not where it is. That's the last place you'll find anything by thinking. We don't know any way to approach anything except thinking about it. Your sponsor says, look, you're sick. Your mind is sick. Your thinking is totally unreliable. It's just disgusting how screwed up it is You understand? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So what are you going to do about it? I don't know. I'm going to have to think about it. It doesn't matter what it is. Our first reaction, you know, I'm not going to be able to think. I'm just going to have to think about that one. And our new motto ought to be, boy, I've got a real problem that I'm not going to think about. Because if we don't think about it, it just slowly dissolves. It needs thinking to maintain its energy. That's what it's composed of, our thinking energy. That girlfriend that left you in high school, you remember that? Why do you remember it? Because you keep thinking about it. If you would stop thinking about her for ten years, it would go away. I don't even remember if I had a girlfriend in high schools. So we got to go. One guy that I read, he said, the place you want to hang out is the little space between the thoughts. And I said, what space? And he said there's spaces everywhere. Music is not, the note is not steady. It's on, off, on, off. There's a space even between a single note. There is a whole universe in the space. Well, how do I get there? I don't know. Let's look in our book and find out. And in both the big book of the 12 and 12 it says this is an individual adventure. Ah! It's no longer a group activity. It's not longer a we activity. our libraries are full of books there's many spiritual advisors our rabbis, our ministers you're now on your personal seeking to improve this contact established through the 12 steps so if you're studying something that you find of interest in improving the connection in improving meditation You haven't left AA, you're following the guidance that came out of this. We never leave the foundation of Alcoholics Anonymous. We are simply following the guidelines that we now are capable of receiving. We finally opened up our receiver so that it could hear guidance. And almost everyone that I've talked to has the same experience in finding some sort of guidance. You may wander into the New Age section and look at ancient writers or New Age writers or whatever, and you, nope, nope. Hey, what's this guy? Somebody is speaking. And you just go, oh, God, this is really helping. Oh, I see. This is clarifying what that step really meant. This is really good. I'm going to give this to my friend. And then your friend, What's this crap? So you see, it was yours. It was unique for you. And you also may find that you have a book that someone gave you and you went, Man, that's ridiculous. I knew she was weird. I really did. This is weird. And then five years later You just happen to pick it up again. You go, man, this is great. This is amazing. So there's some, you're at a different vantage point for looking at these things. And so this becomes the process that Chuck Chamberlain was talking about. He reduced all the problems of humanity to one, and he called it conscious separation. So I'm just using his model. It's not official AA. but it's just a nice term. In my consciousness, I exist separate from everything and it's very scary there. So what is the antidote for that? Conscious contact. Now, I am plugged in to an energy supply of the universe and I suddenly see we're all part of this society. We start out being part of a home group First time we were ever part of anything. We're not just an individual. I'm a private, separate thing from everything in the universe except my sponsor and my home group. That's the beginning of ending the conscious separation. And I want to close with some more on conscious contact, but I want us to get into praying. So I say meditation isn't individual adventures. There's no one in AA that's going to say, Okay, here's the official meditation plan. It is, we want to understand that this is where the secret lies is in our own individual seeking. God could and would if he were sought. Sought through prayer and meditation. Seeking is a big word and it's done by an individual following a signal inside of them that says there's something missing. Find it. And you will be complete. And the finding, oddly enough, that's why it's so funny, consists of getting rid of everything that isn't what you're looking for. So the treasure is already there inside of us. It's a joke. Go find the treasure. Okay, here I go. Frank Morgan is going, it's right here all along. He doesn't even know it. He's going to Peru. He's gone over there. and he was right in his house the whole time. What a place to hide God. Look in the mirror and go, I wonder where God is? And our reflection says, Right here. Right there. That's why it's so hard to find because it's the last place you'd ever look. But Phil wrote the fundamental idea of God's right deep down inside of us. it's only there that he may be found. So this is how we're going to get to the real us by getting rid of the phony us. It's that simple. We get rid of old ideas. We're smashing old ideas and what remains will be the jackpot. It's there. It's just sitting there. And so, we pray only for guidance to this goal. Praying only for knowledge of his will for us and the power to carry it out. Nothing could contribute more to the universe and the world than your awakening and functioning from that position of love. You will accomplish more than anything else, and that's what happens in AA. We're attracted to this power. So that's why that's so simple. Just pray only for the guidance, and you will be guided to do things greater than anything you could think of. So he wants us to stop thinking up what ought to be done, which is amazing that he came up with this type because it's so unique. Praying only for guidance. Every other thought is willful. It ought to be this way. This person shouldn't die. This person, everybody dies. But then we find out, maybe they don't. And maybe I don't, Maybe I'm learning something eternal about myself. And so what is this light that is often used to describe God? The light. Well, in my home group we had an old-timer and in your home group you had an old- timer. And maybe your old-timers were the ones who were the most old-times. Your old-time was Tom. Now, Tom had a lot of wonderful things to say. and it was interesting and inspiring but the main thing about Tom or Mary or whoever it was in your home group was they were always there no matter how you felt I'm going through a divorce I'm there and there's Tom and the fact that he was always there or she was always here made me feel good there was something solid in the world that there was something you just knew Tom would be sitting there on Tuesday nights. He was always there. And the group, whether they realized it or not, it meant a lot that Tom or Vivian was just there in addition to the wisdom and the counsel. It was the mere fact that they were there like a lighthouse it's just there and when ships see it there's that great peace of knowing and when you leave port you know, even if you're out there six months when you come back, it'll be there and so we're in the group for 20 years and one day Tom passes away or Vivian passes away And we feel the loss. It's just, oh. But part of him is still there. You can just feel his energy still. And we field Bill Wilson and Dr. Bob when we go to Vermont or Ohio. And we feed deeply this loss inside of ourselves because we've been 20 years with Tom. And then we notice that people are coming to us. I remember the first time somebody came to me I felt like saying I just got here I just rely on Tom but I've been there 20 years and I'm feeling people rely on me and I go what the hell are they doing that for what's wrong with them and then I realized I was always there I was there every week and then I began to feel like a lighthouse maybe this is good I don't feel good tonight but I think I'll go just be a freaking lighthouse because it made me feel good that Tom was there all the time and so the gradual awakening was that I was the lighthouse and that somehow this light was flowing through me and was helping people who were lost. They called AA the world's largest lost and found department. And there's a lot of that going on. And I think someone asked Bill at one point, AA. I've been studying AA. It looks like the blind leading the blind. And he said, no, it's the semi-blind leading the blind. And so the person up in the front is the closest to the light. And we're following him and they're following me and I'm following Chris and Chris is following there. And then we're all going. And we are going towards the light And so you have the sense that I really am sort of a lighthouse for AA. But as you pursue the prayer and meditation, you come to an awareness that you're really not the lighthouse. You're the light. The lighthouse can be knocked down. It's just made out of stones and a big tidal wave could come. And the lighthouse is gone. But the light doesn't go. And the light inside of all of us is there forever. They call it a spark of the divine. And in this room are 700 sparks. You know some meetings where everybody will have a candle? and you pass it around until they're all lit and then you see the lights, points of light. Light just lasts forever. And so I think that's what enlightenment means. The awareness that the real you is the light and it's got no weight, no... It's a mystery. I don't think even Einstein could figure out what in the hell is light. I don' t know, but without it, there' s nothing. So think about yourself as not only a conveyor of light, but as actually light itself. the divine spark inside of all of us, if we removed the brick and mortars of each one of us we would suddenly realize we're just little sparkles of the total light. And that's why there's no separation between anything. We're all little tiny pieces of some great creation and the separation disappears and there's just a sense of being in the light, watching the movie, and there is nothing else to do. Isn't that an effortless way of being instead of doing? The most powerful thing that Tom, the most powerful things that Clancy does for me is to always be there. Oh, he's entertaining. He's full of wisdom. That's not what attracts me. It's the fact that he's always there. He's permanent. Permanent. And even when the brick and mortars is gone, he'll still be there lighting up the Pacific group for decades and you are the same light and don't forget it. Thank you. Thank you.