Sandy B. at the 63rd Anniversary Of The Alexandria Group – 2007

About This Speaker Tape

A leather book, three inches thick, holds the final page for everyone: a notice that the visit is over and only the kind acts remain. Sandy B. speaks from the wreckage of a life spent building a "spider web" of stories to hide a cosmic sense of loneliness. He recalls the terror of a childhood Catholic faith that felt like Auschwitz and a Yale education where he felt like an imposter until three drinks of whiskey made the world welcome him.

He describes the vertigo of being a Marine jet pilot, flying with one hand on the ejection seat while sweating through withdrawal symptoms, eventually faking an oxygen emergency to escape the cockpit. For Sandy B., the program is about dismantling the "eggshell" of the ego. He warns against settling for just enough perfection to get by, urging a move toward a Higher Power to unlearn the lies of the self. He views the first step as the "Tony Soprano" of recovery: a brutal realization that without a spiritual awakening, you are finished.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Sandy B. opens by honoring late friends Hal M. and Ed C.
• 2:30 Discussion on the 'Book of Life' and the legacy of kind acts.
• 6:15 Childhood memories of the Catholic Church and the 'horrifying church world' he created.
• 10:40 The first drink at Yale and the sudden shift from feeling hated to feeling like everyone's best friend.
• 16:20 Life as a Marine Corps pilot and the camaraderie of drinking as a unit.
• 21:10 The oxygen emergency: faking a crisis to get out of the plane during withdrawal.
• 27:40 The 'Egg' analogy: how we build a world of loneliness and how the 4th Step begins to chip away at it.
• 32:15 Analysis of the 12 and 12, Step 6, and the 'riddle of our existence' regarding character defects.
• 38:50 The 'Tony S.' analogy for the necessity of Step 1 and the hopelessness of the disease.
• 42:10 Laughter: The 'Ego Prayer' and the danger of thinking you no longer need a Higher Power.