Religion Told Me to Pray — AA Gave Me Nine Conditions to Fulfill First – Bob W.

About This Speaker Tape

Bob W. from Whitney, Texas speaks at the final Sunday morning meeting of the Tar Heel Midwinter Conference in 1983, sober since August 12, 1954. He frames his entire talk around a single thread from the Big Book: 'The lack of power is our real dilemma.' He traces that lack of power from his earliest drinking to his recovery, insisting that alcohol was only a symptom — the real problem was that he had no means to be anything other than what he was.

He spends a long stretch on the night of his first drink at sixteen — borrowing his brother's Model A coupe, five dollars in his pocket, a blind date with an older woman who felt like molten lead against his leg, a trip to a bootlegger for two pints of sloe gin, and drinking it in a cemetery. When he heard his own voice say 'let's all have another drink,' he felt whole for the first time. Power had been added — a counterfeit spiritual experience that set the pattern for the next twenty-five years.

He describes the 'second line' some alcoholics cross: the point where you recognize your real problem but are powerless to change. For two years before his last drink he knew he was alcoholic and suffered a soul sickness, drinking to unconsciousness every day while his wife sat in silent tears. He talks about how AA is different from religion — religion told him to pray and have faith, but AA gave him conditions to fulfill first: steps one through nine. Every trouble in his life, he says, was immediately preceded by a decision based on self.

He closes on the Lord's Prayer line 'thine is the kingdom and the power and the glory,' working it as his sobriety creed. He is the son of the King, a prince of the Father's kingdom, and the power he lacked has been given back to him — not as a personal Bob White power, but as something that gathers drunks together and puts a certain look on a face when talking to another suffering alcoholic.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Introduction by Dave at the final Sunday meeting of the Tar Heel Midwinter Conference
• 3:00 Bob W. takes the podium, gives sober date August 12 1954, states he will talk about power and lack of power from the Big Book
• 6:00 WWII story — B-24 pilot shot down over Germany, 15-16 months POW, escaped to the Russians
• 9:00 Childhood — 'down there' upbringing, never quite fit in, sense of unease in adolescence
• 13:00 Lack of power was my real dilemma — not circumstances, not alcohol, but the lack of power to be different
• 17:00 First date and first drink at sixteen — Model A coupe, five dollars, older woman, bootlegger, two pints of sloe gin
• 26:00 Cemetery scene — hears his own fearless voice say 'let's all have another drink' and feels whole for the first time
• 32:00 The scales of drinking — two lines alcoholics cross, the second line where you know but cannot stop
• 40:00 Two-year hell before last drink — drinking to unconsciousness daily, Marceline's silent tears
• 48:00 Difference between AA and religion — AA gives conditions (steps 1-9) before prayer works, Step 2 and Step 3 on power and self-will, closes on 'thine is the kingdom and the power and the glory'