Recovered and Recovering – BB Workshop – Part 2 of 14 – Bill L.

Hi everyone, my name is Mike. I am an alcoholic. Let's start the meeting off with a serenity prayer. God, grant us the serenety to accept the things we cannot change, courage to change the things that we can, and wisdom to know the difference. Okay, what we'll do this week is, since we have a couple more new people, We'll start out with the usual brief or not-so-brief review of what we've covered so far. And I'll try to do that to the best of my memory. So please be patient. We started out on the title page, and Bill took us through the circle and triangle, which is no longer honor literature but up until about 93 or 94 all conference approved literature was published with the circle and triangle and the circle and triangle represents recovery unity and service the foundation of the triangle is recovery the left side of the rectangle is unity and the right side ofthe triangle is service and the Circle and Triangle is nothing more than an ancient spiritual symbol, meaning mind, body, and spirit together whole as one. And that's what the circle represents. That through the 36 spiritual principles that the triangle represents, the circle presents that we can become whole in mind, bod,y, and sprit. the recovery aspect of the triangle is represented by the 12 steps and the 12 steps can be found in the big book in the 12 and 12 the unity side of the rectangle is our 12 traditions and that's representative of the fellowship and also the 12 traditions can be applied in my personal life and the service side of the triangle the 12 spiritual principles for service are the 12 concepts of world service and for those who don't know because I didn't know for a very long time the 12 concepts can be found in the service manual then we took a look at also on the title page it says that this book is, the big book is a story of how many men and women have recovered from alcoholism. And we spent a little time last week talking about that word recovered. How, that for me, that was the greatest statement of hope, or at least it was the first promise that I saw in the big books in addition to what Bill pointed out with the page that precedes that, which is a blank page. And as Bill so appropriately put it, that the promise in that blank page is if you do nothing, you get nothing. But I like to look at the word recovered as more of a positive promise, which tells me that I don't always have to be suffering from the disease of alcoholism. I don'T always have TO BE RECOVERING. We CAN BE REOCOVERED. doesn't mean we're cured, it just means we're recovered of the symptoms which trigger us into drinking. We took a look at the table of contents and we saw that the book truly is broken down just like any good textbook is. It starts off with a description of the problem and the problem can be found in The Doctor's Opinion, Chapter 1, Bill's Story parts of Chapter 2, There is a Solution and Chapter 3, More About Alcoholism it also, like any good textbook will gives us what the solution is and the solution can befound in Step 2 which is found in Weagnostics And it goes on to describe the practical program of action, which is in Chapters 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, and 11 in Steps 3 through 12. Unless I'm forgetting something, last week Bill took us through the preface and the forwards, and there's a lot of good history in there. There's a lot In the forward to the second edition We saw that from 1939 To 1955 AA, the fellowship of AA Had approximately a 75% recovery rate And we also talked about How we definitely don't have that today And chances are we probably have somewhere from 3% or 5% to 10% recovery rate. And I also suggested that we all try an exercise, and that exercise was to go through the forwards. And since the fourth edition is out, you all gave me a homework assignment and told me to go forward to the fourth addition. and take each forward and count how many times the word we is mentioned. Forward to the first edition starts off by saying, We are more than 100 men and women who have recovered from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body. And for anyone who did that quote homework assignment last week or maybe you guys will care to do it between this week and next, you probably found that forward to the first edition mentions the word we 20 times. No, I'm sorry, 18 times. Forward to the second edition mentions it 10 times, although when I counted it again I could only find nine, but I have counted it before, and it does come out to be ten. So that's approximately half. Forward to the second edition mentions the word we half the amount of times as in forward to the first edition, and in forward-to-the-third edition, it doesn't mention the word We at all. And when I went through the forward-tothe-fourth edition, I was able to find the word WE once, But I don't count that because it makes a reference to page 17, which is part of the textbook. So it's not like a new edition or anything. So for whatever that useless trivia is worth to you, possibly maybe that may have something to do with the drop in recovery rate. But I also think it has to do something with the fact that back in the early days of AA, they brought them to the program. They brought them through the 12 steps before they brought him to the fellowship. Nowadays we bring people to the Fellowship before we bring them to The Steps. We began the first step last week, and we took a look at the doctor's opinion. and Dr. Silkworth so beautifully describes the physical aspect of alcoholism we said that we're going to go through this book and go through the first step and look at the first step in three parts as it applies to the body as it implies to the mind and as it applys to our spiritual malady which is nothing more than us being blocked off from the power, which will keep us sober and enable us to live a happily and usefully whole life. So last week we looked at the doctor's opinion, which gets into the body. And Dr. Silkworth says that we have a physical craving to alcohol, that once I put any alcohol in my system whatsoever it sets off a craving for more alcohol and he also went on to describe five different types of alcoholics and I'm sure we could all find ourselves in those types and what he really smashes home is that what we first need to do is to remain entirely abstinent from alcohol, but we also have to follow a few simple rules, which we know as the 12 steps. And what we alcoholics seem to need is a vital spiritual experience, or as Dr. Silkworth put it, an entire psychic change in order to recover from alcoholism. to the best of my knowledge that's where we left off last week can you add anything to that? I'm sure you could, will you? okay Bill's going to take us through the set aside prayer for anyone who doesn't have it they have copies available here we just say it together as a group if you don't mind and uh we we decided that uh even though that this prayer can't be found specifically in the big book there are uh references to it scattered all through chapter four we agnostics um and we do have a handout not tonight but uh i believe it was either last week or the week before we We gave a handout which breaks down all the references to the set-aside prayer. And we've discovered that this is a good prayer to use while we're in the first two steps. Since the third step gives us a prayer in itself, and then pretty much most of the other steps or all the other stops give us prayers, so this is the one we used for the first time. If we could say it together. Dear God, Please set aside everything I think I know about myself, my disease, the big book, the 12 steps, the program, the fellowship, the people in the fellowship and all spiritual terms, especially you God. So I may have an open mind and a new experience with all these things. Please help me see the truth. We're actually going to start tonight with a chapter that a lot of people don't necessarily look at much. But if you turn to page 108, what we'd like to do is there's just like four paragraphs here. and each paragraph describes a different stage of alcoholism. The first stage not being an alcoholic and then the next three being progressively worse. And the reason why we like covering this is because then we can help identify where were we in the classifications you'll find here. bottom page 108 begins with the first one it says the problem which you with which you struggle usually falls within one or four categories basically this is describing to the wife you know which level is your husband at so to speak because when this book was written it was assumed that the alcoholic in the house was a male it says one your husband may be only a heavy drinker so again I'm not talking about an alcoholic here it's only a happy drinker his drinking It may be constant, or it may be heavy only on certain occasions. Perhaps he spends too much money for liquor. You may be slowing him up mentally and physically, but he does not see it. Sometimes he is a source of embarrassment to you and his friends. He is positive he can handle his liquor, that it does him no harm, but drinking is necessary in his business. He would probably be insulted if he were called an alcoholic. this world is full of people like him some will moderate or stop altogether and some will not but those who keep on a good number will become true alcoholics after a while so that one line there I guess three lines up it says some will tolerate or stop all together the reason why they can moderate like we learned last week the reason they can tolerate is because they don't have the allergy and once they start drinking they don' t set off an allergy where they can' t always predict how far it's going to go. So they can moderate and just have a couple drinks and it never goes any further than that. Or they can stop altogether, which means that they don't have the mental obsession. Again, like we learned last week, port of alcoholism is the mental future. We have that mental blank spot that no matter how hard we try, no matter much we try to observe our willpower, we always end up going back to the first drink. So again, that first description here is someone who is not an alcoholic, it's just a heavy drinker. Now, this next category or phase is an alcoholic. And again, as it goes along, it progressively gets worse. It says your husband is showing lack of control for he is unable to stay on a water wagon even when he wants to. So that's describing the mental obsession. He often gets entirely out of hand when drinking. So again, that's the allergy. Once he starts, he gets out of hands. He admits this is true, but is positive that he will do better. And that's part of the obsession is that, you know, this time it's going to be different. He has begun to try, with or without your cooperation, various means of moderating or staying dry. Maybe he is beginning to lose his friends. His business may suffer somewhat. He is worried at times and is becoming aware that he cannot drink like other people. He sometimes drinks in the morning and through the day also to hold his nervousness in check. He is remorseful after serious drinking bouts and tells you he wants to stop, but when he gets over the spree, he begins to think once more how he can drink moderately next time. So again, it's part of the insanity and part of mental obsession. We think this person is in danger. These are the earmarks of a real alcoholic. Perhaps he can still tend to business fairly well. He has by no means ruined everything. As we say among ourselves, he wants the one to stop. so he's already gotten into alcoholism but you know there's that expression a functional alcoholic I've described some areas of my life but other areas of my wife I didn't describe certainly then it says three this husband has gone much further than husband number two though once like number two he became worse his friends have slipped away his home is near wreck and he cannot hold a position. Maybe the doctor has been called in, and the weary run of sanitariums and hospitals has begun. He admits he cannot drink like other people, but does not see why. He claims to the notion that he will yet find a way to do so. So again, there's the insanity. Even though our own efforts have never worked in keeping us away from a drink, we still think that he can do it. Also, it's interesting how he doesn't see why. He just doesn't the truth of what's going on. Like we had shared last week, part of that mental obsession is that we don't think about the problems that alcohol causes us. We just think about relief sensitive and that's going to come when we take the drink and then we set off a craving where we want more alcohol once we start and then that's the cycle we haven't gotten that much into the spiritual part of it which also contributes to it but that's part of the mental thing, that alcohol does something for us so when we start drinking we're not thinking about the problems that it causes us and the times that the wife said if you drink again I'm going to leave you or you're not going to work here anymore if you come and jump, we don't think about the problems that cause this, we just think about the relief that comes once we stop it says he may have come to the point where he desperately wants to stop but cannot and that's powerlessness again once we start we can't predict how much we're going to drink and once we stop we can stay stopped this case presents additional questions which we shall try to answer for you you can be quite hopeful of a situation like this and then the last stage you may have a husband of whom you completely despair. He has been placed in one institution after another. He is violent or appears definitely insane when drunk. Again, he set off the allergy so they go too far once they start. Sometimes he drinks on the way home from the hospital and that's part of the mental obsession and the powerlessness. I mean just moments earlier we were in a hospital because of our drinking or got arrested because of out drinking or got fired because of my drinking or the wife left because of her drinking and we still dispel that back to him because we don't see the problems and causes, we just think about the relief. Perhaps he has had the DTs. Doctors may shake their heads and advise you to have him committed. Maybe you have already been obliged to put him away. This picture may not be as dark as it looks. Many of our husbands were just as far gone yet they got well. So those are the four classifications. We don't necessarily need to. Maybe if you want to, we can open it up for discussion. Maybe share where you are. I know I was definitely in the phases of probably about three. I don't think I was at four yet. Although I went to two rehabs, I didn't necessarily go through a series of institutions. Although there were counselors and there were rehabs. So I guess maybe not. but I kind of see myself as three here and you know again it's just a tool to help in seeing where are you in those phases we can probably discuss that at the end so we don't get behind and also we've discovered that these four stages not only can we use it as a tool to diagnose ourselves but also when we're working with someone else to help diagnose them I mean if they don't get it if they won't see it then it's not really worth that much but you can kind of gauge on where you need to go with the prospect if you can fit him or her in these classifications. So it can be used in both ways, as a first-step tool and also a 12-step tool. From here, we're going to go back to Bill's story. Bill's going to touch on some highlights from Bill's story. and then after that I'll briefly describe what we call the Bill Wilson exercise and then time permitting we'll get into whatever we can with Chapter 2. Excuse me a moment. The last part of the doctor's opinion, were you done with it or was there anything else you guys wanted to add to it? Or was it just like a page and a half we didn't go over? I probably skipped some. No, no, no. Just the very end. There were the type 1, 2, 3, and 4. Yeah, we hit that. Yeah, I know. We hit that, but that's where we kind of stopped. That was all we were going to cover in the talk. It was like at the top of that XX1X, what is the solution? I guess from there you're going to continue. yeah the next is just two stories or two examples if you want to take a look at the very last paragraph of the doctor's opinion he says I earnestly advise every alcoholic to read this book through and though perhaps he came to scoff he may remain to pray and that's always great hope for me that, you know, if I'm working with someone or even myself, if I am scoffing at any part of the process, all I need is the willingness and the ability to go into prayer and I can overcome that scuffetry, if you will. There's a new word. Is that a word? Scuffetry? Is that like a Christmas tree? I think what I'm doing is I never planned this but I just seem to be spitting out a new word every week and I'm sure you will not find them in the dictionary your dictionary Bill's story Mike's going to go over how to use Bill's Story as an exercise especially with a new person it's a pretty powerful exercise hopefully what it'll touch upon is that the chapter is really cut in half. It's 16 pages, the first half is what it was like and the second half or the second eight pages is what happened and what it's like now. And it's a pretty cool tool. I also like suggesting to people that they use the same proportions when telling their story. So often I've been at a speaker meeting and it was 95% joke-a-log and then and now I'm doing really well and we have a nice way of closing and I don't know that that does justice if there's someone new in the room we all know how to drink and what I like passing along to people is maybe do it 50-50 get people to identify 50% of the time but then talk about what happened and what it's like now the other second 50% or talk about how they established their relationship with God or talk about some phase of recovery for the second half because then I think we're passing along a more powerful message of recovery. But Michael came to that. There were a couple things that I wanted to touch upon that I think are kind of interesting about Bill's story. First of all, if you turn to page five, I guess the first full paragraph, the last few lines, it says, Nevertheless, I still thought I could control the situation and there were periods of sobriety which removed my wife's hope. That's a reference to Bill Choy and willpower. What I want to touch upon here is the different techniques that Bill tried to use to solve his drinking problem that didn't work, and that's the first one is willpower Then down below, I guess the cult work probably goes down, it says, I woke up, this had to be stopped. I saw I could not take so much as one drink, I was through forever. Before then, I had written lots of sweet promises, but my wife happily observed at this time in business, and so I did. Shortly afterward, it came home drunk. There had been no fight where he'd run my high resolve. I just simply didn't know. Again, willpower just didn't work for him. And then at the bottom of the page it says renewing my resolve. I tried again. So again, he's using willpower to try to solve the problem but it didn't look. Then on the bottom of page six, I guess about six lines up, it says there were flights from city to country and back as my life and I saw escape. So he's trying geographical procures there and of course that didn't work either nor did it work for me then on the bottom of page 7 talks about she would soon have to give me over to the undertaker or the asylum they did not need to tell me I almost knew and welcomed the idea it was a devastating blow to my pride and then in the middle of page 8 it talks about trembling, I stepped from the hospital a broken man. Fear sobered me a bit and then came the insidious insanity of the first drink. So fear didn't help him. It sobered him for a bit but it didn't help completely. And then he starts getting into his running into Evie or Evie coming to visit him and that's when what happens and what it's like now begins for him. So I just wanted to share that because pretty much all of those techniques I tried and it didn't work also. And I always like throwing that out, especially with people who are new, because one of those things they may be currently trying. And, you know, I try to point out to them that not only does the book mention it, but in my own experience as an alcoholic, that it didnít work for me either. And if thatís what youíre trying, that here's our experience with that, so to speak. And I don't know if there's something else I want to share about Bill's story, I'll wait until next time. Sure. The exercise that Bill was referring to, that this bill was referring too, is take the first eight pages of Bill's Story, which deals with his drunk along, as Bill said, and go through it and highlight or mark or underline however you want to do it for yourself every way that you can identify with Bill in the way he felt in the ways he felt in the same way he thought and in theway he drank so go through the first eight pages and mark those places that you can identify with in a way that Bill thought, felt, and drank. For me, that's another way of saying identify, don't compare. When I'm listening to a speaker and I'm with somebody that's new, I'll usually say that to them just before so they can focus on those things and not be scattered with what they're listening to, so to speak, because very often they'll go off on, well, I didn't do that, well I didn' t do that. well, you know, in reading Bill's story, he was a Wall Street stock analyst. You know, I can't relate to that. Right. And we find that this is a good tool for that exact reason. You know typical responses we'll get is that, well, I'm a woman or I never worked on Wall Street or Bill, you now, this is in the 1930s and on and on and on and he was from New England and I'm not but when we found out that when we focus on those three parts the way he thought, the way they felt and the way you drank most people can end up identifying with Bill dare I say 75% of his story if you just focus on those three points and again it all points to the inside you know forget about the outside circumstances forget about the material stuff as we've probably all heard time and time again in meetings alcoholism is an inside job and for us the solution to alcoholism is also an inside job so all those things point to the inside so once you do that you can take the last eight pages of Bill's story, pages 9 through 16 and what I suggest with someone that I'm working with to kind of use as a gauge with where they're at or maybe where I'm going to need to spend a little bit more time with them is to take the last 8 pages of Bill story because This is what Bill did to recover. These are all the things that Bill did in order to recover from alcoholism. Mark anything in pages 9 through 16 that Bill didn't do in order for him to recover that you are not, at this time, willing to do. Let's see if I can give an example. you don't have to flip there but like right in the middle of page 11 he said but my friend sat before me and he made the point blank declaration that God had did for him what he could not do for himself his human will had failed doctors had pronounced him incurable society was about to lock him up like myself he had admitted complete defeat and you know i can use that as a question again we like we've been discussing in the previous weeks we like to take statements in this book and turn them into questions so that we can answer them for ourselves and uh i would take the statement that he admitted complete defeat and i would turn that around into a question for myself and say am i willing to do that am i will to admit complete defeat and say for example i'm working with someone and and they say you know i'm just not willing to do that then i know i have to spend maybe a little more time with them on step one or even just to diagnose if they're an alcoholic or not then i then maybe i would with someone else. Over on page 13 is probably the best synopsis or the best outline of the steps that I've ever seen. He says, At the hospital I was separated from alcohol for the last time. Treatments seemed wise for I showed signs of delirium tremens. And again, this is all stuff we can look at in this next paragraph. And just put a little mark or however you want to reference it to any of this stuff that you're not willing to do at this time. He says there, I humbly offered myself to God as I then understood Him to do with me as He would. I placed myself unreservedly under His care and direction. I admit it for the first time that of myself I was nothing. that without him I was lost. I ruthlessly faced my sins and became willing to have my newfound friend take them away, root and branch. I have not had a drink since. And as far as I can see here, he references the third step. He references the sixth and seventh step. And in the next paragraph he says, My schoolmate visited me and I fully acquainted him with my problems and deficiencies. We'll find that to be the fifth step. We made a list of people I'd hurt or toward whom I felt resentment. And the list of People I Hurt, that's eight-step. And we'll find that we make a resentment list in step four. I expressed my entire willingness to approach these individuals against step eight, admitting my wrongs. Never was I to be critical of them. I was to write all such matters to the utmost of my ability. And we're going to go through that. And we will find that to be step nine. Again, just because you mark that you're not willing to do something in this half a bill story, that doesn't mean that you are going to fail. That doesn't means that you aren't going to be able to go on with the rest of the program. It's just a good gauge to see where maybe you need to spend a little more attention in the steps. Anything you want to add? Just to let you see also, 13 starts with Bill doing his third step. His first step is actually the first full paragraph on page 8 where he says, No words can tell of the loneliness and despair I found in a bitter morass of self-pity. Morass is a swamp. A quicksand stretched around me in all directions. I had written my match. I was overwhelmed. Alcohol was my master. That's where Bill takes his first step. Then on page 12, a little bit below the middle of the page, it says it was only a matter of becoming willing to believe in a power greater than myself. Nothing more was required of me to make my beginning. That's where Bill takes his second step. And then the 12 and 12 at the beginning on the first page of the third step, it says that no work is required of the first two steps. They're just conclusions. So although Bill was drinking at this time, that was when he reached those conclusions of step one and step two. Now, he didn't seek a solution, so those conclusions didn't mean anything at the time that he made them, but that was where he made his one and two. Then he goes into the hospital and then he starts going on with the rest of the work. So, you know, just to point out where one and twos was sort of in his story. on page 8 Bill talks about right in the middle of the page he says I was soon to be catapulted into what I like to call the fourth dimension of existence I was to know happiness, peace and usefulness in a way of life that is incredibly more wonderful as time passes we're going to find out when we get to step 10 that it refers to what Bill says here is the fourth dimension of existence in the tenth step it's going to call it the world of the spirit and he also uses the fourth dimensional on page 25 also and all that means is as the result of doing the first nine steps I get the promises of the 10th step which I believe Bill covered them the first week we got together and for all intents and purposes at that point I am recovered from alcoholism again not cured but I'm recovered from the things that block me off from God and there's a warning at the end of that there are the 10 step promises and it says that this is our experience as long as we keep fit spiritual conditions so there's a there's an asterisk there that we have recovered from alcoholism as long as we continue thinking and doing the things that brought us to that point that's why we continue growing spiritually that's why there's three more steps after nine thank god we don't have a nine-step program because the first nine step is deal with our past you know then 10 11 and 12 bring about the present that will bring about the future that we want We could probably do an entire weekend on just the last three steps 10-11 Yeah and I'm sure I can speak for Bill but that's where I'm getting directed to there's just, I don't know why I'm talking about it now but there's so much for a long time that I missed in 10- 11 and I am just starting to get glimpses of it now so uh you know if you i know a couple people during the the first week had said that they'd been through the steps before and and you know possibly they're they're coming to this thing to uh to have a new experience with the 12 steps and uh you Know hopefully this uh will give us all a new motivation to uh clear away the wreckage of the past and uh so we can be that much more present to uh to the present moment that much more present to now and uh and that's what the 10th and 11th steps are all about but we're still in the first step not even anything more on bill's story um just to touch upon i guess some other steps as well uh this was all what's interesting is that bill went into the hospital on december 11th 1934 On December 14th, 1934, he has a spiritual awakening as the result of the stuff that Mike touched upon as well as a couple other things. So Bill had three days and he went through most of the steps. Now he wasn't able to make a men's jet because he was still at the hospital but he went though pretty much almost all of the other ones. So again, like Mike had mentioned, in the early days you got into the program and then you brought your experience with the program to the fellowship. Just to point out as it goes along I guess the second or the last full paragraph it says I was to test my thinking by the new God consciousness within common sense would thus become uncommon sense that's sort of alluding to a tenth step and it talks about I was a sick quietly when in doubt asking only for direction and strength to meet my problems as he would have me never was I to pray for myself except as my request bore on my usefulness to others that's talking about step eleven and then it says my friend promised when these things were done I would enter upon a new relationship with my creator which is another way of saying having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps and it says that I will have the elements in a way of living which answer all my problems not just the drinking problem but all my troubles and then it goes on to say something really important it says belief in the power of God plus enough willingness honesty and humility to establish and maintain an order of things were the essential requirements it's not talking about a suggestion there it's talking about essential requirements simple but not easy a price had to be paid and destruction of self-centeredness. I must turn in all things over to the Father of Light, which presides over us all. And then the next paragraph describes the spiritual experience that he had. And then in the next couple of paragraphs, he goes to Dr. Silkworth, who wrote The Doctor's Opinion, and says, Doc, you know, something just happened to me when I'm not sure what's going on. And I'd like to suggest that the future of AA hung on a string at that moment like it did so many times in early days if Dr. Silkworth had said to Bill listen Bill you're probably hallucinating just go to sleep Bill probably wouldn't have proceeded with this program but Dr. silkworth being a humble man and recognizing the grace of God working in someone's life said to bill what you have right now is so much better than you had before something seems to be happening you better hold on to it because you're so much bigger now than you were a minute ago so at that moment I'd like to suggest that the future of AA hum in the balance because if Dr. Silkworth just blew it off or didn't recognize what was going on, Bill would not have known what had happened to him. He would have felt it on the inside, but he wouldn't have gotten that encouragement, and I think that's what Dr. silkworth gave him. Also then again at the bottom of page 14 it talks about, you know, my friend emphasized the absolute necessity of demonstrating these principles in all my affairs, particularly was it imperative or essential to work with other alcoholics as he had worked with me. Faith without works is dead. and how appalling the truth of the alcoholic. Now this next line for me is one of the most important in this whole book. It says, For if an alcoholic failed to perfect and enlarge his spiritual life through work and self-sacrifice for others, he could not survive the certain trials and low spots ahead. You know, the 12th step talks about having had a spiritual awakening as a result of the steps. The steps get us to awaken spiritually, but the way we grow spiritually is through work and self sacrifice for others. so doing the work the steps are not doing the work, the steps or preparation for doing the works, helping other alcoholics is doing the working so again we awaken spiritually because of the steps but we grow spiritually by sacrifice and helping other people so for me that's really important, we need to be working with other people as a demonstration of our spiritual awakening and our spiritual growth Okay, just to touch on this week's packet. The first page is Big Book Step Index. And, you know, it's steps 3, 2, 12. It's pretty obvious in the book where all the steps are because it usually tells you, you now we're at step three, this is step four, step five. But with the first two steps, it doesn't really point blank say that this is where step one is. Although on page 30, it does say that this is the first step of recovery. But anyway, this might be helpful for you to locate where the steps are in the book. The next article is One by Dr. Silkworth Entitled Slips in Human Nature It's very good If you have not read it I strongly suggest it The next article Was written by a person Who shall remain anonymous But It directly relates to And on the last page is just a couple of excerpts that Bill pointed out, that this Bill, Barefoot Bill, pointed out from Bill's story. Can you change your name so we don't have to do that? Do you know I actually found one of Bill Wilson's neighbors when he was growing up? Her name was Barefoot Betty. Is that cool or what? It must be a disinrelative or something. Can we call you Barefoot Harry? I'm going to use that Friday. Can we called you BareFoot Harry so we don't have to keep saying this bill? Yeah, that's fine. Okay. I'm just going to lower case of Richard, I don't mind. Anyway, on that note, that is this week's packet. I hope no one got that. I'm going to cover as much of Chapter 2 as time will allow, and Bill or Harry can jump in wherever he wants to. As I probably said last week, I like to use from the doctor's opinion to page 23 to take a look at the body of an alcoholic, the physical craving from 23 to 43 I use those pages to look at the mental aspects of alcoholism and then on page 52 and several other locations in the book I like to use those references to look at the spiritual malady so chapter 2 there's a solution page 17 also the first half of this chapter shows why human power fails us. And the second half of this chapter explains what our common solution is. So we'll get into that. We of Alcoholics Anonymous, there's that word we again, know thousands of men and women who were once just as hopeless as Bill. And I didn't mention this as I was going through the first eight pages of Bill W.'s exercise, but that's one of the reasons that we do that to try to relate with Bill how he thought, how he felt and how he drank so that I can come over on page 17 and ask myself the question that was I just as hopeless as Bill? And if I answer that question in the affirmative then that gives me great hope because Bill Wilson recovered from alcoholism. So that tells me that that I can too if I do what he did and if I do what thousands of other people before us have done so it says nearly all have recovered another great promise they have solved the drink problem it says we are average Americans all sections of this country and many of its occupations are represented as well as many political economic social and religious backgrounds. Here's an understatement for Alcoholics Anonymous. We are people who normally would not mix, but there exists among us a fellowship of friendliness and an understanding which is indescribably wonderful. Another promise. Now Bill's going to give us an example. And back at this time in the 30s and the 20s, the Titanic was still very fresh on everyone's mind. So Bill's going to kind of speak in parables here. And when he says, we are like passengers of a great liner the moment after rescue from shipwreck when camaraderie, joyousness, and democracy pervade the vessel from steerage to captain's table. and I am grateful to be a member of a fellowship that has camaraderie and joyousness and democracy in all aspects of it he says from steerage to the captain's table I mean, in the steerage that's basically the lowest class of people and at the captain stable only the most highest class of people were invited to the captain's table. And we don't have that in Alcoholics Anonymous. We're supposedly all equal. We're all one in AA. So unlike the feelings of the ship's passengers, however, our joy and escape from disaster does not subside as we go our individual ways. the feeling of having shared in a common peril which is our common problem is one element in the powerful cement which binds us but that in itself that feeling of sharing in a power and having shared in a commune problem would never have held us together as we are now joined so it's referencing the fact that the fellowship is great the fellowship is awesome because I'm amongst a group of people that all have a common problem but that's only one element in the powerful cement which binds Alcoholics Anonymous it says a tremendous fact for every one of us is that we have discovered a common solution That's the second element. The first element is the common problem. The second element is the common solution. We have a way out, which by the way was a prospective title for this book. One of the many. We have a way to go. A way out on which we can absolutely agree and upon which we conjoin in brotherly and harmonious action. This is the great news this book carries to those who suffer from alcoholism. Page 18. An illness of this sort, and we have come to believe it an illness, involves those about us in a way no other human sickness can. If a person has cancer, all are sorry for him and no one is angry or hurt. But not so with the alcoholic illness, For with it there goes annihilation of all things worthwhile in life. It engulfs all whose lives touch the sufferers. It brings misunderstanding, fierce resentment, financial insecurity, disgusted friends and employers, warped lives of blameless children, sad wives and parents. Anyone can increase the list. Can anyone identify with that? Or more importantly, is there anyone in the room that does not identify with that? Because if that's the case, maybe you belong upstairs. Also, that paragraph there touches upon the spiritual aspect of alcoholism. And there are people that experience that kind of stuff and they haven't had a drink in a while. And that's a sign of being spiritually blocked off. So you could also ask yourself, am I currently experiencing that? If so, I might be headed toward my next drink because alcohol helps us with that. We like to call those kind of things symptoms of untreated alcoholism. Whether you're drinking or not. Yep. Okay, skip down to the fourth full paragraph. But the ex-problem drinker who has found this solution, who is properly armed with facts about himself, can generally win the entire confidence of another alcoholic in a few hours. until such an understanding as reach, little or nothing can be accomplished. I like to use this paragraph and the one that follows as tools in two ways. I found this to be a good description of what to look for in a sponsor and I've also found that this is what I would like to portray in order to be an effective sponsor. It says that the man who is making the approach, the 12-stepper, has had the same difficulty, that he obviously knows what he is talking about, that his whole department shouts at the new prospect that he is a man with a real answer, not just don't drink and go to meetings, everything will be okay. That he has no attitude of holier than thou, which many of us have to work on. Nothing whatever except the sincere desire to be helpful. That there are no fees to pay, no access to grind, no people to please, no lectures to be endured, except at this meeting. These are conditions we have found most effective. After such an approach, many take up their beds and walk again. You know, whenever I read that, I always think it's very much a take-it-or-leave-it kind of attitude. If you want what I have, if you don't, that's fine too. Skip down to about the middle of the page. Let's see. One, two. Do you want to cover anything before that? Go ahead. You're talking about that. The middle of the first full paragraph there talks about, we feel that elimination of our drinking is but a beginning. A much more important demonstration of our principles lie before us in our respective homes, occupations, and affairs. For me, that's a really important statement because it's talking about just not drinking isn't what goes on here in its entirety, that how we're living our life, how we'RE treating people everywhere we go, how we're practicing these principles, you know, how we walk in the walk, not just how we talk in the talk. One of Dr. Bob's favorite expressions was carry the message and if you must, use words. And I really love that because that captures what we're talking about here, that elimination of drinking is just the beginning. It's a tip of the iceberg, barely even a tip to the iceberg. A much more important demonstration lies before us on how we practice these principles in all of our affairs. So I think that's pretty important. Third paragraph of the page, we have concluded to publish an anonymous volume setting forth the problem as we see it. We shall bring to the task our combined experience, not our combined opinions, our combined experiences and knowledge. This should suggest a useful program for anyone concerned with a drinking problem. Notice he says that this is a useful program for anyone concerned with a drinking problem, not just the alcoholic, but as we all know, our 12 steps are also used in various other, I believe it's over 200 fellowships now, but various other 12-step programs. but at least in this regard this can directly reference the fellowship of Al-Anon so these principles are of course good for the alcoholic but they're also good for Al-Alan or anyone who's concerned with an alcoholic because chances are if you're concerned with an alcohol you probably need a program too So, which always just brings me right back to perspective because I'm dealing with alcoholics all the time, you know, with the people I sponsor, with the People Like Harry over here that I associate with. You know, so, yeah, oh, yeah. Especially the wife. Can't wait till she hears this tape. But I think now more than ever, I need all 12 steps as well the traditions and concepts. There's a couple of points in this book that I have the words do I with a question mark next to it because there are statements in thisbook that I need to ask myself, am I living this kind of a life that I just described? And the bottom of page 19 is one of them. Three lines up, it says most of us sense that real tolerance, not fake tolerance, real tolerance of other people's shortcomings and viewpoints and respect for their opinions or attitudes which make us more useful to others our very lives, which is a very serious statement, our very wives as ex-problem drinkers depend on our constant thought of others and how we may help meet their needs again, am I living my life that way and especially it's funny because whenever I read the real tolerance for other people shortcomings and view points and respect for their opinion I always think, how am I doing with my home group at the business meeting? That's especially where that comes up. But it says our very lives as ex-problematolinkers depend upon our constant thought of others and how we may help meet their needs. As we go through this book, it will show again and again and Again that thinking about me is a big part of my problem and thinking about you is a great part of your problem. And thinking about yourself is a good part of the solution. So that's another one of those statements. I have one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, nine other references that say almost exactly the same thing. So for him to repeat it again and again and then it's a pretty important statement. First full paragraph on 20. You may already have asked yourself why it is that all of us became so very ill from drinking. Doubtless you are curious to discover how and why in the face of expert opinion And to the contrary, we have recovered, there's that word again, from a hopeless condition of mind and body. If you are an alcoholic who wants to get over it, you may already be asking, what do I have to do? And that's always a good gauge for me when I'm working with a prospect. If they have that type of attitude, you know, what, what Do I have to do, I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired, what I need to do. that's a good gauge for me it lets me know that they're sincere and they're interested and they've had enough pain and they want to get on with the program of action next paragraph, it is the purpose of this book to answer such questions specifically to answer the question of what do I have to do specifically we noted last week on Roman numeral page 8 he used the word precisely and we'll find out on page 29 he talks about clear cut directions and here on page 20 he uses the word specifically so again Bill's just not he's he's not fooling around no he's serious we shall tell you what we have done Now, before going into detailed discussion, it may be well to summarize some points as we see them. And I'm just going to go through the next two paragraphs and then Bill can touch on anything that he wants to add or anything I may have missed. And we'll pick it up with the three different types of drinkers next week since we usually have a lot to share on that. So I don't want to go over. So it says, how many times people have said to us, I can take it or leave it alone. Why can't he? Why don't you drink like a gentleman or quit? That fellow can't handle his liquor. Why don'T you try beer and wine? Lay off the hard stuff. His willpower must be weak. He could stop if he wanted to. here's the one I love she's such a sweet girl I should think he'd stop for her sake the doctor told him that if he ever drank again it would kill him but there he is all lit up again have I had experience with these statements have people said these things to me or have I said these things to myself you know uh george over there can take it or leave it alone i think i can you know i can just have one or two and go home to the family um i can i can go to a wedding and just drink like a gentleman and quit i won't get locked up this time uh i can handle my liquor i'm just going to try beer and wine uh i never i never tried just wine but uh i did i did try just beer and uh for those for those beer drinkers uh you probably know that uh it's just a lot easier to go and buy a bottle of southern comfort you don't have to get up and down and go to the bathroom as much at least that's that's my experience um i'm just going to lay off the hard stuff. My willpower must be weak, you know? So I'm going to do everything I can to try to build up my willpower, which is impossible anyway. Mike, why don't you just stop? Well, I'll stop when I want to, thank you. And I'm gonna stop for her sake. And something that one of the lines that Bill, that Harry over here read in Bill's story was the sweet promises that Bill W. had made to his wife, Lois, and that's on the last page of the handout on the back, and these are like sweet promises here, she's such a sweet girl, I'll stop for her sake, you know, and ask yourself if you ever had of warning from a doctor. But going out of his doctor's office, you're all lit up again. He says now these are commonplace observations on drinkers which we hear all the time. Back of them is a world of ignorance and misunderstanding. We see that these expressions refer to people whose reactions are very different from ours. These reactions and these questions are from people that don't understand the dilemma I have. You know, you wouldn't be telling me to just drink like a gentleman, just have one or two drinks and quit if you knew exactly what my physical malady is. You know? What actually happens to me once I put any alcohol in my system? you know and uh after a while i knew that too i i knew i got to a place in my drinking where i knew if i bought a bottle or if i went to a bar um i'd be drinking all night you know i knew after a While i couldn't just have a couple i would try to tell myself that lie i'm just going to have a couple just to take the edge off but i knew at it in in my heart of hearts i really knew that uh once i started drinking you know this was it we're uh we're gonna go until blackout occurred or until pass out occurred or until the cops occurred um that's all i'd like to uh touch on for tonight we'll uh we'll pick it up next week with uh the three different types of drinkers you have anything you want to add yeah the one description in the questions there that irks me the most is that one where it says i can take it or leave it alone why can't you and for me that's how i like describing the non-alcoholics experience with alcohol as they haven't taken a leave it kind of relationship with alcohol my relationship with alcohol was you know i needed to deal with life kind of relationship so uh like mike i touched upon you know these are reactions that are very different from ours these are people having a completely different experience than i'm having you know what i mean i'll take it or leave it alone that does not describe my relationship with alcohol um i can't relate to that so uh that one's the one that i always kind of throw out with describing a non-alcoholic because um i don't know i don' t know i can' t relate to can't relate to that. I didn't have a take it or leave it alone relationship. And of course, they can take it because they don't have the allergy and they can leave it along because they don't want to have the mental obsession. So again, next week when we touch upon the other stories, the moderate drinker, the hard drinker. They also have that same thing where they don t have the allergy because they can stop and moderate. They don t had the allergies because they could moderate. So you know again, the book is kind of redundant. It says the same thing but it uses different words because if we didn t catch it the first time maybe the third time it'll catch it, or at a fifth time it'll get you, definitely. But that's all I have to say. What we failed to mention in previous weeks is that to the best of our ability, we're going to try to tell you what we're going to cover in the next week. So from this week to next week, you can read the material for yourselves and what we've got and what's going to recover. And then when we all get together that next week it'll be even more fresh so why I like having people do that is because you'll become a little bit familiar with the chapter, maybe you've read it before but just a little more fresh on your mind a little familiar with material and then when we go through it as a group you have even a deeper experience you're already familiar with some of it and maybe some of the things you didn't catch when you read it we can have a deeper yeah so we can all get current with uh with this stuff today so we can all have a current first step not uh not something that we had eight years ago um so if you would just read from page 20 to the end of the chapter 29 and at this time i'll open up the meeting for discussion