Queens Big Book Study – Part 8 – Gary B. – 2008

About This Speaker Tape

Julie B. recounts a life shaped by the rigid rules of a Wyoming upbringing and the chaotic wreckage of her husband Gary's alcoholism. She describes the 'torture' of waiting by the window for a drunk husband to return, the shame of a premarital pregnancy in 1959, and the eventual collapse of their marriage due to infidelity and anger.

Julie's narrative moves through the wreckage of family trauma—including her brother's suicide and her daughter Tracy's catastrophic head injury—and her struggle to find a balance between the 'activities' of recovery and the actual work of the program. She admits to being a 'savior' who often missed the mark as a mother, but finds a grounding peace in her current relationship with a Higher Power and the support of a long-distance sponsor.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Introduction and laughter regarding Gary's storytelling accuracy.
• 4:15 Discussion of childhood in Wyoming and the loss of her mother.
• 8:40 Story about 'pretender drinking' at the Cheyenne rodeo.
• 11:30 The shame of premarital pregnancy in 1959.
• 15:40 The 'early intervention' and Gary's commitment to the state hospital in Evanston.
• 18:20 First experiences with Al-Anon and the lack of literature in 1965.
• 23:10 Mention of working a 3-column inventory and taking a Fifth Step.
• 32:10 The obsession with anger and the process of praying to let go of a betrayal.
• 38:40 The trauma of her brother's suicide by shotgun.
• 45:10 The account of her daughter Tracy's seizure and head injury.
• 54:20 Discussion of long-distance sponsorship with Marie.