Queens Big Book Study – Part 11 – Gary B. – 2008

About This Speaker Tape

Gary and Mickey dismantle the myth of the 'emotional charge' in recovery, arguing that chasing a feeling is a dangerous substitute for the work. Gary emphasizes the 'power of the pause'—using a 1920s barber chair in his leather shop as a sanctuary to ask for the right action. The conversation shifts to the wreckage of family dynamics, where Marie warns against the trap of expecting a sober alcoholic to suddenly become a 'model of temperance.' Mickey delivers a gritty plea for sponsorship, recounting his own near-suicide at 23 years sober and his time in Denver G.

Hospital, where he cornered a patient in room three just to keep himself from dying. He frames the 12th step not as a professional service, but as a survival mechanism, urging the room to look out for the 'old-timers' who might be slipping through the cracks.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Gary discusses the danger of chasing 'emotional charges' in prayer.
• 2:15 Gary reads from the Big Book (page 83) regarding family reconstruction and the 11th Step.
• 4:30 Gary explains the 'power of the pause' and his 1920s barber chair.
• 7:45 Marie discusses the dynamics of Al-Anon and the fallacy of expecting total sanity from a sober alcoholic.
• 11:20 Discussion on minimizing the effects of alcoholism on the family.
• 14:10 Gary shares the 'three happies and three sads' tool for couples.
• 16:00 Gary discusses Step 12 and the importance of working with a new person to stay sober.
• 21:15 Marie warns against becoming the 'power' in a sponsee's life (ego-driven sponsorship).
• 24:30 Mickey's urgent plea: 'Please don't do this without a sponsor,' referencing his own suicide attempt.
• 28:00 Mickey recounts his early days of 12-stepping in Denver General Hospital.
• 31:00 Laughter: Mickey describes a 12-step call involving a urine-soaked mattress and knitting.
• 35:00 Mickey emphasizes that the disease can strike even after decades of sobriety.