Queens Big Book Study – Part 10 – Gary B. – 2008

About This Speaker Tape

A raw, conversational session from a Big Book study in Queens, where Gary, Mickey, and Marie tackle the grit of the later steps. The conversation centers on the friction of the 9th and 10th steps—specifically, how to approach a person you hate and the necessity of 'at once' action to stop the poison of resentment. Gary shares a story about Buck, a Kentucky hillbilly who took the Big Book too literally by keeping a horse bit in his mouth during an amend.

The narrative shifts to the discipline of the 11th step, with Mickey admitting his struggle with 'mongrel self-hatred' and the need for a spiritual compass to avoid waking up with an alcoholic in charge of his life. They discuss the practicalities of sponsorship boundaries, the 'whining' in Al-Anon, and the ritual of morning meditation as a way to reset the internal compass before the day's wreckage begins.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Opening banter and questions from the 'peanut gallery'.
• 1:15 Discussion on Step 9: How to approach someone you hate.
• 4:10 Laughter: Story about Buck from Kentucky and the horse bit metaphor.
• 8:50 Discussion on detachment and the blessing of being disliked in a home group.
• Transition to Step 10: The importance of 'at once' and 'immediately'.
• 16:20 Gary's story about using a 10th step partner to handle a business conflict with 'TJ'.
• 20:10 Mickey discusses the 'bottomless pit' of whining in Al-Anon.
• 25:40 Mickey's 'dolphin' awakening and the prayer to avoid waking up with an alcoholic in charge.
• 30:15 Mickey's admission of 'mongrel self-hatred' and struggles with the nightly review.
• 35:20 Discussion on the 11th step and the ritual of morning meditation.