Patty H. – Steps 8-9 Amends – The Humility Of The Other Cheek – 2014

About This Speaker Tape

Mercedes and Patty map out the grueling process of Steps 8 and 9, moving from the 'sludge' of active addiction to the 'gravy' of long-term sobriety. Mercedes dismantles the wreckage of her past, including childhood incest and a history of prostitution, explaining how she had to list specific cars on her amends list because she didn't know the names of her clients. Patty digs into the guilt of depriving her daughter of a father and the humility required to let her daughter express anger without retaliation.

Both women emphasize that amends are not about the other person's forgiveness, but about cleaning up one's own side of the street. They frame the 12 Steps as the only viable path to freedom, moving from physical healing to emotional and spiritual restoration, while warning that the disease of addiction is progressive and requires daily practice to avoid the trap of 'image patrol'.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Convention announcements regarding anonymity and NA clarity statements.
• 12:15 Mercedes discusses the 'ultimate problem' of the self and the trauma of childhood incest.
• 18:40 Mercedes describes the 'intense willingness' required to stop prostitution and stealing.
• 25:10 Step 8: Mercedes explains listing cars/vehicles on her amends list instead of names.
• 32:00 Mercedes describes the healing process: physical, emotional, and then spiritual.
• 38:15 Laughter: Mercedes admits to calling men 'bitches' in meetings during early recovery.
• 45:30 Patty H. is introduced and shares her 17 years of sobriety.
• 52:10 Patty discusses the 'gut level' Fourth Step and the guilt of depriving her daughter of a father.
• 58:45 Patty describes the confrontation with her daughter at an NA dance.
• 1:05:20 Patty shares the funny story of the amends letter from 'Rick B.' in California.
• 1:15:10 Patty discusses the danger of 'image patrol' for old-timers.
• 1:22:00 Closing: Group hug and the Serenity Prayer.