Pat Y. on Early Drinking, Rigorous Honesty, and the 30-Year Secret

About This Speaker Tape

Newport Beach, 1960s. A thirteen-year-old girl drinks a rum and Coke to kill her shyness, blacks out, and wakes up next to a stranger. For Pat Y., the "magic" of alcohol was a trap that led to a life of wreckage. She describes a descent into a "big ugly mess," working as a secretary while sleeping with the staff and eventually transitioning into a "show business career" as a stripper and go-go dancer, often passing out on stage and being carried to a coat-closet sofa to sleep it off.

The grit of her story centers on a 30-year secret: a cruel joke card sent to her dying brother in Japan, which she found in his belongings and flushed down a toilet in a fit of shame. After years of "wasting money" on a psychiatrist she couldn't be honest with, Pat found a Higher Power through a rigid sponsor who demanded she attend meetings every night and make phone calls she hated. She traded the purple flannel bathrobe of a lonely drunk for a life of rigorous honesty.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Pat Y. introduces herself and recalls her first blackout at age thirteen.
• 11:30 The story of the sympathy card sent to her brother and the subsequent grief.
• 18:45 Pat describes her 'show business career' as a go-go dancer and passing out on stage.
• 26:10 A description of her wedding in Las Vegas with a judge in bedroom slippers.
• 32:40 The 'purple flannel bathrobe' years and the isolation of daily drinking.
• 38:15 Pat's first call to AA and her first meeting in rubber thongs.
• 44:50 Laughter: Pat describes the fast-talking speaker Norm A. and the joy of identification.
• 50:20 The rigid directions of her first sponsor and the requirement to attend meetings nightly.
• 57:10 The 'ripple effect' of phone calls and the experience of calling 11 people during a crisis.
• 1:05:30 The 'locked elbow' handshake and the struggle with obsession in early sobriety.
• 1:15:00 Learning to 'pretend' to be a loving wife as a spiritual exercise.
• 1:25:40 Final advice to newcomers: get a home group, a sponsor, and a friend.